Travel Agent Jokes
19 travel agent jokes and hilarious travel agent puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about travel agent that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Funniest Travel Agent Short Jokes
Short travel agent jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The travel agent humour may include short tour guide jokes also.
- A photon is going through airport security... The TSA agent asks if he has any luggage.
The photon says, No, I'm traveling light. - A time traveler has traveled back in time to the year 1963. However, he does not know the exact date.
He sees a CIA agent nearby and asks him:
"Is today before or after the JF-"
"Before" - A time traveler went back in time and saw a CIA agent Time traveler: What year is it?
CIA Agent: 1963
Time traveler: Before or after JFK wa...
CIA Agent: Before - A photon went on holiday. When checking in at the airport...
Check In agent. "Do you have any luggage sir?"
Photon. "No, I'm travelling light" - Leon Trotsky asks a travel agent if they have any hotel rooms in Mexico. The travel agent responded by saying that Mexico would be a very ice pick.
- A Photon checks in at an airline front counter. Agent says... Sir, do you have any checked baggage?'
Photon replies, 'No, I'm travelling light.'
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Travel Agent One Liners
Which travel agent one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with travel agent? I can suggest the ones about insurance agent and estate agent.
- What did the librarian say to the travel agent? Find what you're booking for?
Giggle-Inducing Travel Agent Jokes for Joyful Times with Friends
What funny jokes about travel agent you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean tourist guide jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make travel agent pranks.
A KGB agent goes to a library and sees an old Jewish man reading a book.
What are you reading, old man? he asks.
I'm learning Hebrew, comrade, replies the old Jew.
The KGB agent asks, What are you learning Hebrew for? You know it takes years to get a permission to travel to Israel? You will die before you get one.
I'm learning Hebrew for when I go to heaven so I can speak with Moses and Abraham, replies the old man.
How do you know you're going to heaven? What if you go to h**...? asks the KGB agent.
I already speak Russian."
Welcome to Australia!
A British national travelling to Australia on holiday is stopped at customs after getting off the plane. There, the customs agent asks him, "business or pleasure?"
"Pleasure," he replies.
"Anything to declare?"
"Does jet lag count?" the Brit asks with a cheesy smile. The Aussie customs agent looks up, drearily, unamused.
"Do you have a criminal history?"
Suddenly, the British man becomes concerned, and looks around nervously.
"What's wrong?" the customs agent asks.
"Oh, I'm sorry," the brit replies. "No, I don't. I didn't realise we still needed one of those"
Vladimir Putin Travels to an Eastern European Country
He walks up to the customs agent and the agent asks, Name?
Vladimir Putin
Country of Origin?
Russia
Occupation?
No, no. Just visiting.
So, the God decides he needs a vacation...
He goes to meet his travel agent:
"We have a special on Andromeda, Cthulu resort." - Nah it's way too hot...
"How'bout skiing in Pillars Of Creation?" - Maybe something cheaper, this time?
"Well, You may try the Earth, Solar System new Spa, great price".
- ... Been there like 2000 years ago, mate, made one chick pregnant.
They still keep talking about this...
A German in France
A German is traveling to France and is going through passport control. The agent asks the German "reason for travel ?"
"For work", replies the German.
Occupation ? Asks the agent.
"Not this time"
A German is traveling to France
A German is traveling to France and is going through passport control. The agent asks the German, Reason for travel?
For work, replies the German.
Occupation? asks the agent.
No, I'll just be here a few days.
Two gay men walk into a travel agent's office...
As they were flipping through the brochures, one suddenly says, "Hey, how about Greece this time?"
The other looks up confused and says, "Why, what's wrong with the Vaseline?"
d**...
A guy was planning his holiday with his travel agent...
Last year you suggested The Maldives and when I returned my wife was pregnant. The year before that you suggested a safari in Africa and when I returned my wife was pregnant. And before that you suggested Bali and when I returned my wife was pregnant. Can you suggest somewhere cheaper this year so that I can take her with me!
It was the standard series of check-in questions that every traveler gets at the airlines counter, including, "Has anyone put anything in your baggage without your knowledge?"
"If it was put there without my knowledge," I asked, "how would I know?"
The agent behind the counter smiled smugly. "That's why we ask."
A passenger piled his luggage on the scale at an airline counter in New York and said to the ticket agent:
"I'm flying to Los Angeles. I want the large bag sent to Denver and the two small ones to Cincinnati."
"I'm sorry sir, but we can't do that," said the ticket agent.
"That's good to hear because that's where they ended up the last time I flew this route."
An act of Kindness....
A travel agent looked up from his desk to see an older lady and an older gentleman peering in the shop window at the posters showing the glamorous destinations around the world.
The agent had had a good week and the dejected couple looking in the window gave him a rare feeling of generosity.
He called them into his shop and said, "I know that on your pension you could never hope to have a holiday, so I am sending you off to a fabulous resort at my expense, and I won't take no for an answer."
He took them inside and asked his secretary to write two flight tickets and book a room in a five star hotel.
They, as expected, gladly accepted the offer, and were on their way.
About a month later the little lady came in to his shop."And how did you like your holiday?" he asked eagerly.
"The flight was exciting and the room was lovely," she said. "I've come to thank you.
But, one thing puzzled me.
"Who was that old guy I had to share the room with?"