Transplant Jokes

121 transplant jokes and hilarious transplant puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about transplant that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

Get ready for a laugh with these transplant jokes! Whether you're a patient considering a transplant, a family of someone going through the procedure, or a medical professional, these transplant jokes will provide some much needed humor. From hair transplant to kidney, liver, heart, lung, and bone marrow transplants, these jokes will make you smile! Read on for a light hearted take on complex surgeries and procedures!

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jokes about transplant

Best Short Transplant Jokes

Short transplant puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The transplant humour may include short graft jokes also.

  1. If I ever find the guy who messed up my limb transplants, I'm going to kill him with my bear hands.
  2. A man has undergone the first successful hand transplant in the UK. Doctors say he can move his fingers, but still doesn't have any feeling. Also, he won't come out of the bathroom for some reason.
  3. I'm looking for someone with a good heart, not someone with good looks. Please I really need that heart transplant
  4. The guy who received the first pig heart transplant gave a radio interview yesterday I tried to listen, but I could only hear crackling
  5. I heard they can do brain transplants now! I was all set to do it.... ...but my local doctor changed my mind.
  6. People these days recoil at the idea of brain transplants becoming possible in the near future. Just wait until we develop the technology. They'll change their minds.
  7. Did you hear about the brain surgeon who was thinking of performing a brain transplant on himself? He ended up having a change of mind.
  8. We have a first successful pig heart transplant. Bacon is now both the cause and the solution of our heart problems.
  9. I used to think that cardiac transplant surgery wasn't for me But then I had a change of heart
  10. My American girlfriend recently had a knee transplant here in London which is ironic as her name is Britney
Transplant joke, My American girlfriend recently had a knee transplant here in London

Make fun with this list of one liners, jokes and riddles. Each joke is crafted with thought and creativity, delivering punchlines that are unexpected and witty. The humor about transplant can easily lighten the mood and bring smiles to people's faces. This compilation of transplant puns is not just entertaining but also a testament to the art of joke-telling. The jokes in this list are designed to display different humor styles, ensuring that every reader at any age finds something entertaining. Constantly updated, they offer a source of fun that ensures one is always smiling !

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Transplant One Liners

Which transplant one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with transplant? I can suggest the ones about transfusion and blood transfusion.

  1. At first, my girlfriend didn't want to get a brain transplant then I changed her mind
  2. I didn't plan on getting a brain transplant... But then I changed my mind.
  3. I wasn't originally going to get a brain transplant but then I changed my mind
  4. Brain transplants will never be possible. Change my mind.
  5. I thought about getting a brain transplant But then i changed my mind
  6. If I ever need a heart transplant.. I'd want my ex's. It's never been used.
  7. I tried to tell the doctor that I didn't want a brain transplant. But he changed my mind.
  8. What do you call a tomato that self-identifies as a carrot? A transplant.
  9. What do you call a human that's now a cactus? A transplant.
  10. I told my doctor I didn't want a brain transplant. But he changed my mind.
  11. I always thought a brain transplant was far too risky. Then I changed my mind...
  12. I decided that I wasn't going to get a brain transplant... But then I changed my mind
  13. Initially I didn't want to have the brain transplant... But then I changed my mind.
  14. I was going to get a brain transplant But I changed my mind.
  15. I didn't want a brain Transplant But then they changed my mind

Heart Transplant Jokes

Here is a list of funny heart transplant jokes and even better heart transplant puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • A man waiting for a heart transplant... ... says "I only want the heart of a dead lawyer." "Why?" asks the doctor.
    "I want one that's never been used."
  • The hospital told me I needed a cardiac transplant, and initially I agreed to it. But then I had a change of heart.
  • Last Christmas, I gave you my heart But the very next day, your body rejected the transplant
  • My cousin was going to get a heart transplant But then he had a change of heart.
  • I gave her my heart but what she really needed was kidney transplant...
  • Losing my virginity was alot like performing a heart transplant operation. Someone had to die for it to happen.
  • After my heart transplant I've really had a change of heart.
  • Something went wrong with my heart transplant The Surgeon said his heart wasn't in the right place.
    That makes two of us.
  • I was working hard in the operating room during a heart transplant when the nurse asks me "What are you doing?" I just keep chanting "Kali Ma! Kali Ma!"
  • Cardiac transplant surgeons Really have a heart for their patients.

Kidney Transplant Jokes

Here is a list of funny kidney transplant jokes and even better kidney transplant puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • The shortage of transplant kidneys in Britain is pretty bad But at least they have a liver pool.
  • A DIY kidney transplant... a home renalvation.
  • What do you call a plant getting kidney surgery? A transplant
  • Did you hear about the man who got a brain transplant? He thought he needed a kidney transplant but he changed his mind.
  • What did the man who is in dire need of a kidney transplant say to the young man with a broken knee cap? I don't need your bad kid knees.
  • The planted wanted to be a kidney... so it became a transplant.

Transplant Donor Jokes

Here is a list of funny transplant donor jokes and even better transplant donor puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • My mate needed a bone marrow transplant We found a match in Argentina
    The operation was a success
    Our thanks go out to Diego Marrow Donor.
  • "Our hearts go out to everybody in need of a transplant." - Every o**... donor ever

Liver Transplant Jokes

Here is a list of funny liver transplant jokes and even better liver transplant puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • What type of fish can perform a liver transplant? A sturgeon.
  • I just had a successful liver transplant operation. That surgeon really de-livered!
  • If I had a dollar for each booze... ... I could now afford the liver transplant.
  • What do you call a liver transplant? A delivery.
  • When I promise to come up with an o**... transplant pun... I de-liver.
  • What do you call an o**... transplant? A de-liver-y

Hair Transplant Jokes

Here is a list of funny hair transplant jokes and even better hair transplant puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • My doctor was really impressed with the amount of hair I had on the scalp for my hair transplant However, he was a *bit* concerned that the scalp was not mine
Transplant joke, My doctor was really impressed with the amount of hair I had on the scalp for my hair transplant

Share Hilarious Transplant Jokes and Enjoy Unforgettable Laughter

What funny jokes about transplant you can tell and make people laugh? One example I can give are clean transit jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help make transplant prank.

If I ever need a brain transplant, I'd choose yours because I'd want a brain that had never been used.

If I ever find the surgeon who s**... up my transplant I'll kill him...

With my bear hands

A man is in urgent need for transplant buttocks after an accident.

Doctors report no end in sight.

What's the worst part about getting a lung transplant?

The first couple of times you cough, the loogeys aren't yours!

A man who recently lost his eye goes into the doctor...

Patient: "Doctor, is there anything we can do to replace my eye?"
Doctor: "Well, we could transplant a donor eye.."
Patient: "Really? Would I be able to see again?!"
Doctor: "No, but it's just for looks anyway!"

John regrets getting a brain transplant.

I guess he changed his mind.

My patient was refused his o**... transplant.

But I didn't have the heart to tell him.

A neurosurgeon is preparing his patient for a brain transplant...

He tells the patient: "Would you like a woman's brain or a man's brain?"
"Why are there options?" the patient asks.
"Well," replies the Surgeon, "the woman's brain is half the price of the man's!
"Why is it half price?" asks the man.
"Because it's used!"

What's the worst thing about a lung transplant?

Coughing up someone else's phlegm

What does a r**... garden gnome hate more than anything?


What do you call a flower that had a s**... change?

A transplant.

What's the worst part about getting a lung transplant?

The first cough is not your phlegm.

Did you hear about the man who was taken off the o**... transplant list?

He was so disheartened

How do you tell if a ball transplant has been successful?

You give it a test tickle.

Never perform an o**... transplant on a frog.

It's very disheartening and they usually croak.

A man gets hit by a train and loses his legs

A man loses his legs in a train accident
and when hes rushed to hospital
the only available transplant are a child's
so he gets the surgery
and when he wakes up he falls to the floor in pain
the nurse runs up and says
'sir is it your legs'
and the man goes
'its my kidneys'

I was thinking of getting a brain transplant

I changed my mind

An Irishman and Donald Trump are reading an article about brain transplants

It says you can get you can a brain transplant from a Irish man for €5000 cheaper than an american.
Trump says "This proves that America is the greatest country ever and Americans are the smartest people ever"
"No it doesnt" says the Irishman "It just means an Americans Brain hasnt been used as much"

An elderly patient needs a heart transplant and discusses his options with his doctor.

The doctor says, 'We have three possible donors.
One is a young, healthy athlete.
The second is a middleaged businessman who never drank or smoked, and the third is an attorney who just died after practising law for 30 years.'
'I'll take the lawyer's heart,' says the patient.
'Why?' asks the doctor.
The patient replies, 'It's never been used.'

I used to be against o**... transplants,

then I had a change of heart

What's the worst thing about having a lung transplant?

Realising that the first time you cough, the phlegm isn't yours.

My teacher told a joke today in class, and I thought I would share it here

He said, "When brain transplants are possible, I would get a brain of a racist. You know why? Because they have never been used before".

Did you hear about the guy whose vocal cords were damaged in an accident, so they had to do a transplant from a puppy?

He's doing okay but his voice is a little husky now.

Why does moving a plant from one place to another change it's gender?

Because it's a trans-plant.

My sister recently had a transplant...

... but then she traded it in for a b**... fern.

What do you call a limb that has been transplanted?

A hand-me-down.

A man goes to the doctors to get his first son circumcised...

A man goes to the doctors to get his first son circumcised. He meets with a pediatrician who says "ya know we used to use the f**... from the circumcision to do skin transplants for kids born without eyelids... But we had to stop because they started coming out cockeyed"

Did you hear about the guy who was scheduled to get a brain transplant?

He changed his mind.

Did you hear about the dandelion that's saying it's a rose?

Turns out, it's a transplant

I went in to get a brain transplant..

..thankfully the surgeon managed to change my mind.

What do you call a flower getting a s**... change?

A Transplant

A jewish woman goes to the hospital to give birth to her son.

Unfortunately the baby boy is born without eyelids.
The jewish woman is hysterical and says: Doctor, doctor what am i going to do? My baby boy has no eyelids!
The doctor calmly replies: Missus Levine, don't worry your son is going to be circumcised so we can do a transplant and give him eyelids.
Missus Levine says: Doctor, doctor but I don't want a son that's gonna be cockeyed!
Doctor replies: But Missus Levine imagine what foresight he'll have!

They say "Be the change you want to see in others"

So I've decided to get big breast transplant tomorrow

A Patient Needs a Heart Transplant

The surgeon tells the patient, "You are in luck; we have two matching donors! A twenty-year-old athlete and an eighty-year-old lawyer. Which heart do you want?"
The patient answers, "Give me the lawyer's heart. That one hasn't been used yet."

I was in quite a severe accident when I was younger, it damaged my legs really bad.

I had to get a double kid knee transplant.

What is another term for a lung transplant?

Breath Implants

A surgeon offers a patient his choice of two hearts for transplant.

The 1st heart belonged to a 22 year old Olympian in peak physical condition who died tragically.
The 2nd heart belonged to an 80 year old obese sedentary politician.
Without thinking twice, the patient chooses the 2nd heart.
Shocked by his choice, the surgeon asks Why did you choose that heart?
The patient responds Because I know that heart has never been used.

My wife was showing me a really unique houseplant she was growing. When she first planted it, it was a male, and it produced pollen.

After a while, it stopped producing pollen and started making seeds. It had outgrown its p**..., so my wife wanted me to help her put it in a larger one. I said, Sure, I can help you transplant the transplant.

Why did the rich transplant surgeon go to jail?

He got caught red-handed, inside her trading.

A Husband and Wife were messaging each other.

Husband: You are negative
Wife: And you are stubborn, arrogant, a low life, care about no one but yourself and your friends, all you are interested in is your own self, and in all your life you've not fulfilled even one of your promises. I'm the only one that has to put up with such a miserly and insensitive man. You good for nothing, fat, ugly man. Even your hair transplant failed.
Husband: I was just letting you know that your Covid test was negative.

The doctor too me…

The doctor told me I needed a brain transplant.
I don't want it.
But he changed my mind.

In London, British scientists created a frog embryo without a head, a breakthrough that could lead to the production of headless human clones to provide organs and tissue for transplant, as well as horrific nightmares for the rest of my life.

What's the medical term for an a**... transplant?

An election.

Today, David received the first-ever pig-to-human heart transplant...

When he came home, his wife had some bad news.
But before she could say anything, he pleaded, don't go bacon my heart!


Did you hear for the first time they successfully turned a pistil into a stamen?

It was the world's first TRANS-plant.

This one's sappy…

I named the new tree in my yard Spruce Jenner. It's a transplant.

A surgeon told me I was in grave need of a brain transplant.

I refused, telling her she wouldn't change my mind.

My wife is currently giving away 30% of her liver (living liver donor transplant)….

We met with the surgeon right before she went back to the operating room and I told him I really hope you De-Liver
True story! (yes he thought I was s**... 😂)

I used to disapprove of o**... transplants…

But I've had a change of heart

Hospital statistics

A recent study has identified the hospital operations with highest rate of mortality.
In the United States it's open heart surgery.
In Australia it's liver transplants.
And in Russia it's opening a window…

Transplant joke, Hospital statistics

Jokes are a form of humor that often involves clever wordplay, puns or unexpected twists in a story. These are usually short narratives or anecdotes crafted with the intent of amusing its audience by ending in an unexpected or humorous punchline. Jokes are a universal form of entertainment that people of all ages like adults, teens, kids and toddlers can enjoy. JokoJokes' FAQ section has answers to questions you may have!

The impact of these transplant jokes can be both social and psychological. They can help to ease tensions, create bonds between people, and even improve overall mental health. The success of a joke often relies on the delivery, timing, and audience. Jokes can be used in various settings, from social gatherings to professional presentations, and are often employed to lighten the mood or enhance a story.