Transplant Jokes
117 transplant jokes and hilarious transplant puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about transplant that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Get ready for a laugh with these transplant jokes! Whether you're a patient considering a transplant, a family of someone going through the procedure, or a medical professional, these transplant jokes will provide some much needed humor. From hair transplant to kidney, liver, heart, lung, and bone marrow transplants, these jokes will make you smile! Read on for a light hearted take on complex surgeries and procedures!
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Funniest Transplant Short Jokes
Short transplant jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The transplant humour may include short graft jokes also.
- A man has undergone the first successful hand transplant in the UK. Doctors say he can move his fingers, but still doesn't have any feeling. Also, he won't come out of the bathroom for some reason.
- I'm looking for someone with a good heart, not someone with good looks. Please I really need that heart transplant
- The guy who received the first pig heart transplant gave a radio interview yesterday I tried to listen, but I could only hear crackling
- I heard they can do brain transplants now! I was all set to do it.... ...but my local doctor changed my mind.
- People these days recoil at the idea of brain transplants becoming possible in the near future. Just wait until we develop the technology. They'll change their minds.
- Did you hear about the brain surgeon who was thinking of performing a brain transplant on himself? He ended up having a change of mind.
- We have a first successful pig heart transplant. Bacon is now both the cause and the solution of our heart problems.
- I used to think that cardiac transplant surgery wasn't for me But then I had a change of heart
- My American girlfriend recently had a knee transplant here in London which is ironic as her name is Britney
- If I ever need a brain transplant, I'd choose yours because I'd want a brain that had never been used.
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Transplant One Liners
Which transplant one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with transplant? I can suggest the ones about transfusion and blood transfusion.
- At first, my girlfriend didn't want to get a brain transplant then I changed her mind
- I didn't plan on getting a brain transplant... But then I changed my mind.
- I wasn't originally going to get a brain transplant but then I changed my mind
- Brain transplants will never be possible. Change my mind.
- If I ever need a heart transplant.. I'd want my ex's. It's never been used.
- What do you call a tomato that self-identifies as a carrot? A transplant.
- What do you call a human that's now a cactus? A transplant.
- I always thought a brain transplant was far too risky. Then I changed my mind...
- What is another term for a lung transplant? Breath Implants
- What's the worst thing about a lung transplant? Coughing up someone else's phlegm
- This one's sappy… I named the new tree in my yard Spruce Jenner. It's a transplant.
- Did you hear about the dandelion that's saying it's a rose? Turns out, it's a transplant
- I went in to get a brain transplant.. ..thankfully the surgeon managed to change my mind.
- My cousin was going to get a heart transplant But then he had a change of heart.
- How do you tell if a ball transplant has been successful? You give it a test tickle.
Heart Transplant Jokes
Here is a list of funny heart transplant jokes and even better heart transplant puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- Last Christmas, I gave you my heart But the very next day, your body rejected the transplant
- I gave her my heart but what she really needed was kidney transplant...
- Losing my virginity was alot like performing a heart transplant operation. Someone had to die for it to happen.
- After my heart transplant I've really had a change of heart.
- Something went wrong with my heart transplant The Surgeon said his heart wasn't in the right place.
That makes two of us. - I was working hard in the operating room during a heart transplant when the nurse asks me "What are you doing?" I just keep chanting "Kali Ma! Kali Ma!"
- Cardiac transplant surgeons Really have a heart for their patients.
- My father asked how my transplant went. Didn't have the heart to tell him.
- People who have undergone a heart transplant are generally quite indecisive after the procedure. They will always have a change of heart.
- What does the wife of a suicidal man say to him after his succesful heart transplant? "Why the sudden change of heart?"
Kidney Transplant Jokes
Here is a list of funny kidney transplant jokes and even better kidney transplant puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- The shortage of transplant kidneys in Britain is pretty bad But at least they have a liver pool.
- A DIY kidney transplant... ...is a home renalvation.
- What do you call a plant getting kidney surgery? A transplant
- What did the man who is in dire need of a kidney transplant say to the young man with a broken knee cap? I don't need your bad kid knees.
- The planted wanted to be a kidney... so it became a transplant.
Liver Transplant Jokes
Here is a list of funny liver transplant jokes and even better liver transplant puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- What type of fish can perform a liver transplant? A sturgeon.
- I just had a successful liver transplant operation. That surgeon really de-livered!
- If I had a dollar for each booze... ... I could now afford the liver transplant.
- What do you call a liver transplant? A delivery.
Transplant Donor Jokes
Here is a list of funny transplant donor jokes and even better transplant donor puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- My mate needed a bone marrow transplant We found a match in Argentina
The operation was a success
Our thanks go out to Diego Marrow Donor.
Hair Transplant Jokes
Here is a list of funny hair transplant jokes and even better hair transplant puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- My doctor was really impressed with the amount of hair I had on the scalp for my hair transplant However, he was a *bit* concerned that the scalp was not mine

Share Hilarious Transplant Jokes and Enjoy Unforgettable Laughter
What funny jokes about transplant you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean transit jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make transplant pranks.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
If I ever find the surgeon who s**... up my transplant I'll kill him...
With my bear hands
A man is in urgent need for transplant buttocks after an accident.
Doctors report no end in sight.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Eating Chinese food is like getting an o**... transplant
There's always a chance your body will reject it.
A man who recently lost his eye goes into the doctor...
Patient: "Doctor, is there anything we can do to replace my eye?"
Doctor: "Well, we could transplant a donor eye.."
Patient: "Really? Would I be able to see again?!"
Doctor: "No, but it's just for looks anyway!"
John regrets getting a brain transplant.
I guess he changed his mind.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
My patient was refused his o**... transplant.
But I didn't have the heart to tell him.
A neurosurgeon is preparing his patient for a brain transplant...
He tells the patient: "Would you like a woman's brain or a man's brain?"
"Why are there options?" the patient asks.
"Well," replies the Surgeon, "the woman's brain is half the price of the man's!
"Why is it half price?" asks the man.
"Because it's used!"
What did the tree say while it was being transplanted?
Wheeeeeeeee!!!!!
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What does a r**... garden gnome hate more than anything?
Transplants
What do you call Jay-Z having a leg transplant?
A hip-hop hip op.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
My heart is like an onion...
I'm never getting a discount o**... transplant again
What's the worst part about getting a lung transplant?
The first cough is not your phlegm.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Did you hear about the man who was taken off the o**... transplant list?
He was so disheartened
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Never perform an o**... transplant on a frog.
It's very disheartening and they usually croak.
A man gets hit by a train and loses his legs
A man loses his legs in a train accident
and when hes rushed to hospital
the only available transplant are a child's
so he gets the surgery
and when he wakes up he falls to the floor in pain
the nurse runs up and says
'sir is it your legs'
and the man goes
'no'
'its my kidneys'
Two Puns
Man, I was going to eat a clock, but then I thought, that's to time consuming.
Man, I was ganna get a brain transplant, but I changed my mind.
You guys might aswell call me re"pun"sul. I'm way to punny.
(Sorry if I make you cringe)
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
When I promise to come up with an o**... transplant pun...
I de-liver.
An Irishman and Donald Trump are reading an article about brain transplants
It says you can get you can a brain transplant from a Irish man for €5000 cheaper than an american.
Trump says "This proves that America is the greatest country ever and Americans are the smartest people ever"
"No it doesnt" says the Irishman "It just means an Americans Brain hasnt been used as much"
What do you call a guy who dresses up like a flower child?
A transplant
What do you call an uprooted tree?
A transplant.
My teacher told a joke today in class, and I thought I would share it here
He said, "When brain transplants are possible, I would get a brain of a racist. You know why? Because they have never been used before".
I'm convinced I need a retina transplant.
My dad insists I get another pair of eyes before I commit.
Did you hear about the guy whose vocal cords were damaged in an accident, so they had to do a transplant from a puppy?
He's doing okay but his voice is a little husky now.
Why does moving a plant from one place to another change it's gender?
Because it's a trans-plant.
What do German girls call getting divorced and remarried?
A Herr transplant.
I need a brain transplant
Change my mind.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
My sister recently had a transplant...
... but then she traded it in for a b**... fern.
What do you call a limb that has been transplanted?
A hand-me-down.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A man goes to the doctors to get his first son circumcised...
A man goes to the doctors to get his first son circumcised. He meets with a pediatrician who says "ya know we used to use the f**... from the circumcision to do skin transplants for kids born without eyelids... But we had to stop because they started coming out cockeyed"
Bill: "Did you hear about Zack having a brain transplant?"
John: "Yes, but didn't he change his mind in the end?"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
My wife came home after a long day in the operating room and told me about a patient she had that required eyelid transplants. With no other options they were forced to use skin from the man's f**... to complete the transplant...
Apparently he came out a little c**...-eyed
At our world famous clinic, many worried, afflicted and mentally unstable people come for assistance. I know it may sound ridiculous, but we start by suggesting they try one of our brain transplant procedures.
They always reject the offer at first, but eventually we change their minds.
A jewish woman goes to the hospital to give birth to her son.
Unfortunately the baby boy is born without eyelids.
The jewish woman is hysterical and says: Doctor, doctor what am i going to do? My baby boy has no eyelids!
The doctor calmly replies: Missus Levine, don't worry your son is going to be circumcised so we can do a transplant and give him eyelids.
Missus Levine says: Doctor, doctor but I don't want a son that's gonna be cockeyed!
Doctor replies: But Missus Levine imagine what foresight he'll have!
They say "Be the change you want to see in others"
So I've decided to get big breast transplant tomorrow
A Patient Needs a Heart Transplant
The surgeon tells the patient, "You are in luck; we have two matching donors! A twenty-year-old athlete and an eighty-year-old lawyer. Which heart do you want?"
The patient answers, "Give me the lawyer's heart. That one hasn't been used yet."
I was in quite a severe accident when I was younger, it damaged my legs really bad.
I had to get a double kid knee transplant.
A surgeon offers a patient his choice of two hearts for transplant.
The 1st heart belonged to a 22 year old Olympian in peak physical condition who died tragically.
The 2nd heart belonged to an 80 year old obese sedentary politician.
Without thinking twice, the patient chooses the 2nd heart.
Shocked by his choice, the surgeon asks Why did you choose that heart?
The patient responds Because I know that heart has never been used.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
My wife was showing me a really unique houseplant she was growing. When she first planted it, it was a male, and it produced pollen.
After a while, it stopped producing pollen and started making seeds. It had outgrown its p**..., so my wife wanted me to help her put it in a larger one. I said, Sure, I can help you transplant the transplant.
Why did the rich transplant surgeon go to jail?
He got caught red-handed, inside her trading.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
In London, British scientists created a frog embryo without a head, a breakthrough that could lead to the production of headless human clones to provide organs and tissue for transplant, as well as horrific nightmares for the rest of my life.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What's the medical term for an a**... transplant?
An election.
Today, David received the first-ever pig-to-human heart transplant...
When he came home, his wife had some bad news.
But before she could say anything, he pleaded, don't go bacon my heart!
(
Did you hear for the first time they successfully turned a pistil into a stamen?
It was the world's first TRANS-plant.
A surgeon told me I was in grave need of a brain transplant.
I refused, telling her she wouldn't change my mind.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
My wife is currently giving away 30% of her liver (living liver donor transplant)….
We met with the surgeon right before she went back to the operating room and I told him I really hope you De-Liver
True story! (yes he thought I was s**... 😂)
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I used to disapprove of o**... transplants…
But I've had a change of heart
Hospital statistics
A recent study has identified the hospital operations with highest rate of mortality.
In the United States it's open heart surgery.
In Australia it's liver transplants.
And in Russia it's opening a window…

