Translating Jokes

Humoristic puns and funny pick up lines

I'd like to thank my boyfriend for translating "mucho" for me

It means a lot

Saw others translating Russian and Romanian jokes and thought I'd share two Hungarian ones (but be warned, Hungarian humor is terrible)

GyΓΆrgy had a headache and asked his friend for advice, and his friend said he could cure the headache by hammering a nail into the place it hurt. So he lined up the nail and was getting ready to hit when he saw GyΓΆrgy cringing. "What are you scared of?" the friend asked, and GyΓΆrgy replied, "I'm scared that you'll miss!"


A man says to a woman, "I wish you would bring your smile over to my place."

The woman replies, "Aren't you a ladies' man!"

And the man replies, "No, I'm a dentist."


Still reading? You're crazy! Okay, here's a "bonus" one.

An electrician enters the room in the hospital where they keep the patients on life support and he calls out, "Take a deep breath, everyone! I need to change a fuse!"

Only men who wear the pants go to heaven.

I am translating this joke from Spanish so pardon any errors.

There is a terrible accident and 100 couples were killed. They find themselves in front of St. Peter and the Pearly Gates. St. Peter decides to divide the group into two and declares: "Every man who wore the pants in the relationship stand on the left line, and all the men who let their women boss you around stand on the right." Much to his surprise, 99 men stand on the right. St. Peter is very stunned and curious about the sole man standing on the left. He goes up to him and asks, "okay son, why are you in this line?" The man looks very frightened and he caves in, "I'm sorry, my wife told me to stand here."

The fly and me

I'm translating this joke from my native language so I'm hoping its just as funny in English.

The other night I saw a mosquito in my room. I kept trying to catch it till I caught it in a corner, ready to end its life, when all of a sudden it turned around and said "Wait! Surely you won't kill your own family!", I stopped in my tracks and stared at the mosquito thinking what it meant. Then I realised the mosquito wasn't lying... My blood was coursing through its veins

Translating the German joke Germans only tell Germans.

I don't like to talk about the Holocaust either. My grandfather died in a concentration camp.

He got drunk and fell off the guard tower.

The trouble with translating jokes is...

Many jokes rely on clever wordplay, which can get lost in translation!

(What? That always gets a laugh when I tell it in Basque.)

I'm at the ear clinic.

My name might've been called out. I have no idea.

PSA: The joke is originally in Swedish, tried my best translating it.

How many economists does it take to change a light bulb?

It depends on the economist:

How many right-wing economists does it take to change a light bulb?
None, the invisible hand will take care of it.

How many keynesian economists does it take to change a lightbulb?
All of them, in order to shift tha aggregate demand to the right and generate more employment and consumption.

How many marxist economists does it take to change the lightbulb?
None. The lightbulb contains the seeds of its own revolution.

I'm translating it from portuguese, hopefully it's right spelled and not a repost.

My chemistry teacher pulled this on us today.

We were reviewing balancing chemical equations and got onto the topic of changing the names of compounds into their symbols so we could start balancing them. My teacher starts, "Changing names into symbols, is very much like translating Spanish into English. Maria estudia. Maria studies. Carlos va a la biblioteca. Carlos goes to the library. Now I would have said prison but I don't know how to say that in Spanish."

What do you call the process of switching genders?


Since we're translating Russian jokes...

A tiny little car, made out of a beer can, pulls up at a gas station.

A tiny little man inside the car honks his high-pitched horn to call over the attendant.

The attendant arrives and asks what he can do for the little man.

The little man asks for 5 drops of gasoline. The attendant carefully pumps 5 drops of fuel into the little car using an eye-dropper and asks if there's anything else.

The little man asks for 2 drop of radiator coolant. The attendant is getting aggravated but complies, and adds coolant using a teaspoon and asks if there will be anything else.

The little man asks to have the pressure in one of his tires checked. The attendant very agitated at this point replies, how should I fill that, with a fart?

Years ago, I had a job translating pre-classical Greek texts into Braille.

It feels like ancient history.

What are the funniest translating jokes of all time?

Did you ever wanted to stand out with a good sense of humour joking about Translating? Well, here are the best Translating puns to laugh out loud. Crazy and funny Translating pick up lines to share with friends.

Joko Jokes