Transfusion Jokes
19 transfusion jokes and hilarious transfusion puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about transfusion that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Funniest Transfusion Short Jokes
Short transfusion jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The transfusion humour may include short blood donation jokes also.
- My son made it through a blood transfusion, so I bought him a 50″ HDTV... He loves his new plasma...
- My parents are perfectionists. They won't let me get away with anything less than an A+. I'm currently at the hospital getting a blood transfusion.
- Husband: "Honey, at work I fainted, and Natalie took me to the doctor. He says I need a brain surgery in 72 hours and blood transfusion also." Wife: "Who is Natalie?"
- My grandfather was such a brave man. Even while dying for want of a blood transfusion when nobody knew his blood type with his last few words he kept telling us all to be positive.
- I lost my grandfather to a blood transfusion My friend ask what was his last words:
Be positive - What medical procedure involves transgender gang members uniting as one? A blood transfusion
- My dad died last year when my family couldn't remember his blood type in time for the paramedics to give him a blood transfusion.
- Over the years, I've poured countless hours into developing a simpler, more efficient form of blood transfusion. So far, all my efforts have been in vein.
- My dad died after no one could remember his blood type for a transfusion As he waa dying he kept telling us "be positive, be positive!" But it's gonna be really hard without him.
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Transfusion One Liners
Which transfusion one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with transfusion? I can suggest the ones about blood drive and giving blood.
- A doctors patient dies after a type B blood transfusion Musta been a type-O
Comical & Quirky Transfusion Jokes for a Roaring Good Time
What funny jokes about transfusion you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean transplant jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make transfusion pranks.
I asked old Maud how she lost her husband. She told me her sad story…
"Well, he needed a blood transfusion, but his blood type was not on record, so the doctors asked me if I knew what it was, as they urgently needed to know, in order to save my Norman's life.
Tragically, I've never known his blood type, so I only had time to sit and say goodbye.
I'll never forget how supportive my Norman was.
Even as he was fading away, he kept on whispering to me, "Be positive, be positive!"
That was my Norman! Always thinking of others."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Man
A man died with an e**.... the three nurses in the morgue saw this the first nurse climbs on and rides him. the second nurse dose the same the third hesitates saying i'm on my period. the others say its ok hes dead so she rides him to. when she's done he sits up and all the nurses ask how hes alive he replies i'm good to go after the two jumpstarts and blood transfusion!
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Your mother is so n**...
If she brushed her teeth she would have to call 911 to get a blood transfusion.
A rich man needs a blood transfusion...
So he asks his Jewish friend if he would do a transfusion for $1 million.
The Jewish person is good friends with the man, so happily agrees.
A few years later, the man needs another transfusion, so asks the Jew again if he will do it for $10,00.
The Jew is still good friends with the man, so happily agrees again.
A few years later, the man needs another transfusion, so asks the Jewish man again if he will do one for $10.
The Jew is confused, and asks: "Why was it $1 million the first time, then $10,000, and now only $10?"
The rich man then says: "It must be all the Jewish blood in me!"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A billionaire is in a hospital and needs a blood transfusion.
He turns to his Jewish friend and says. "I'll pay you 100,000 dollars for a blood transfusion. The Jew happily agrees? Excited for the money.
Then a month later the man needs a another transfusion and offers the Jew 10000 dollars for the blood. The Jew happily agrees.
Then a month later the man needs another blood transfusion. He offers the Jew 10 dollars. The Jew says "first 100000 then, 10000 now a ten? What's wrong?"
The man then says "must be all the Jewish blood in me."
An Arab sheikh is dying
... and the only thing that could save him a blood transfusion. But there is a problem - the sheikh has a very rare blood type. After very intensive searches sheik's servants finally find a donor. This happens to be an old Jewish guy who agrees to donate blood in exchange for a substantial reward. The sheikh's life is saved, and he generously rewards the donor with a luxury car and a huge mansion.
Couple of years later, the same story happens. The donor rushes to donate the blood and comes to pick up his reward. Surprisingly for him, he is handed a box of cookies.
"But last time you gave me a car and a mansion"
"Well, last time I had no Jewish blood flowing in me".
An Arab and a Jew
There was an Arab oil Sheikh that was in a coma and needed a blood transfusion to survive. Being AB+ it was hard for him to get a donor with the same rare blood type. Finally they found an old Jewish farmer that was listed as a blood donor with the same blood type. However he was very reluctant to give his blood to save an Arab guy. Finally after lots of discussions and pestering by doctors he agreed to donate only enough blood to help make sure the Arab guy was stabilized. After the blood transfusion and when the Arab guy is healthier, he sends the Jewish farmer a brand new John Deere tractor and a Cartier watch and $100000 as a token of appreciation. After a year, the Arab is requires another transfusion. The old Jewish farmer is contacted and this time is willing to give more blood. After the transfusion the Arab send the Jewish guy a box of chocolates and a bouquet of flowers. When the Jewish guy gets this he is furious as he is expecting much more since he gave more of his rare blood type. He contacts the Arab sheikh and asks him why he only gave him such a paltry gift? The Arab says, ya Akhie (brother) I have Jewish blood in me now….
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
At the scene of a terrible road accident, a guy is laying sprawled out on the road, seemingly stone dead.
The rescue workers are all around him, but can do nothing to resuscitate him.
Suddenly, a young woman in a short miniskirt forces her way through the crowd.
"Let me at him, I can help him," she says.
"What can you do?" ask the rescue people.
"We've tried everything to revive him, and it's too late."
"I can," says the woman. "Stand back!"
And she promptly takes off her p**..., and crouches with her c**... over the man's face.
Suddenly, the man coughs, splutters, and sits up.
"What did you do?" ask the rescue people, amazed.
The woman says, "Blood Transfusion."
