Transfer Jokes
56 transfer jokes and hilarious transfer puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about transfer that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
This article explores the different kinds of transfer jokes that make fun of topics like transfer pricing, transfer deadline day, transfer portal, heat transfer, football transfer, money transfer, bank transfer, energy transfer, Man Utd transfer, communications, colonization, and neutrality. Discover how people are using these transfer jokes to their advantage with this hilariously insightful article.
Quick Jump To
- Short Transfer Jokes
- Transfer One Liners
- Money Transfer Jokes
- Football Transfer Jokes
- More Transfer Jokes
Funniest Transfer Short Jokes
Short transfer jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The transfer humour may include short transport jokes also.
- Just been diagnosed with the dreaded 'Peek-a-Boo virus'...
I'm being transferred to ICU. - 5 second rule. If it hasnt been 5 seconds no bacteria has been transferred. So stop complaining ladies you could have gotten chlamydia.
- What's the most embarrassing part about Hillary Clinton's emails? The Nigerian Prince actually came through with the money transfer.
- Did you hear about the science experiment where they successfully transferred human DNA into a dog? They say the scientist spent too much time in the lab.
- TIL there's one country that still doesn't use ANY form of electronic money transfer. It's the Cheque Republic
- Did you know that you can transfer into a much higher paying job in IT with almost no training? Apparently its all about networking...
- The phone rings at Crayola Headquarters {green-green-green}
"Yellow?"
"May I speak to Mr. Brown?"
"Please white while I transfer you."
{pink} - My girlfriend said she was leaving me because of my obsession with soccer So I said "On loan or permanent transfer?"
- [OC] I was bowled over by the news that the Vatican was starting a check cashing and money transfer operation They're going to name it Papal.
- A buddy of mine asked me to borrow my DVD box set of one of HBO's best shows... ...he came over and The Wire transfer was successful.
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Transfer One Liners
Which transfer one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with transfer? I can suggest the ones about transition and swap.
- What do you call it when two Frenchmen share files? Pierre-to-Pierre transfer.
- How do you transfer money in the Vatican? You use Papal.
- Perfume and cologne can now be transferred via email. They go into your scent folder.
- What do you call a package of documents sent via boat? Pier to pier file transfer!
- What is a quicker way to transfer money than electronic banking? Marriage
- "A monkey once worked in this office, but he transferred to another branch."
- What word was never transferred over to Indian English? No.
- I was going to do a brain transfer But then I changed my mind
- Another TSA groping scandal? Where will they transfer those Catholic priests next?
- What is it called when The Zucc gives you the Succ? A data transfer
- What is the fastest way to transfer all your money? Get married.
- How does a recently transferred prisoner greet his new inmate? New cell, hu dis?
- Official: The Nashville Predator's are transferring to Hollywood, CA. Hockey.
- What did the cow say when he was transferred to a much better farm? Moooooovin' on up!
- What do you call twenty black men on a bus? Prison transfer.
Money Transfer Jokes
Here is a list of funny money transfer jokes and even better money transfer puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- Foreign Aid: The transfer of money from poor people in rich countries to rich people in poor countries.
- Girls are like an internet virus:
they enter your life, scan your pockets, transfer money, edit your mind, download their problems and delete your smile...
Football Transfer Jokes
Here is a list of funny football transfer jokes and even better football transfer puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- My girlfriend said she wants to break up with me because I watch too much football So I asked her if she was going to leave on loan or full transfer
Ridiculous Transfer Jokes to Spark Fun and Laughter
What funny jokes about transfer you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean transform jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make transfer pranks.
A woman goes into labor with her child.
The doctor says that they have invented a new device to transfer the pain of child birth to the father. He asks if it is ok to use the new device. The couple agrees and so he turns the pain to the father to 10%. The man feels nothing. They then bump it up to 20%. He still feels nothing. They keep doing this until they have the machine up to 100%. The man still felt nothing so they go home happy, until they find the milkman dead on the porch.
A married couple went to the hospital to have their baby delivered.
Upon their arrival, the doctor said he had invented a new machine that would transfer a portion of the mother's labor pain to the father. He asked if they were willing to try it out. They were both very much in favor of it.
The doctor set the pain transfer to 10% for starters, explaining that even 10% was probably more pain than the father had ever experienced before. But as the labor progressed, the husband felt fine and asked the doctor to go ahead and kick it up a notch. The doctor then adjusted the machine to 20% pain transfer. The husband was still feeling fine.
The doctor checked the husband's blood pressure and was amazed at how well he was doing. At this point they decided to try for 50%. The husband continued to feel quite well. Since the pain transfer was obviously helping out the wife considerably, the husband encouraged the doctor to transfer ALL the pain to him. The wife delivered a healthy baby with virtually no pain. She and her husband were ecstatic.
When they got home, the mailman was dead on the porch.
I got chatting to a bird down the pub last night.
She said, "So what do you work as?"
"It's a very important job," I said. "I have to finalise deals in the transfer window."
"Wow, a football agent?" she asked.
"No," I replied. "I work in the drive thru at McDonald's."
Other students come by train
A student to his father:
Dear father,
Berlin is a fantastic city, people are nice and I really like that city. But, I am a bit ashamed to come to school with my golden plated Ferrari whereas professors and other students come by train.
Love,
Your son
Next day, an answer comes:
My dear son,
I transferred 20M€ to your bank account. Please buy your train quickly.
Your loving father.
Mental health hotline.
Hello, welcome to the mental health hotline.
If you have obsessive compulsive disorder, press 1 repeatedly.
If you are co-dependent, please ask someone to press 2 for you.
If you have multiple personality syndrome, press 3, 4, 5, and 6.
If you suffer from paranoid schizophrenia, we know who you are and what you want. Stay on the line so we can trace your call.
If you are delusional, press 7 and your call will be transfered to the mothership.
If you are hearing voices, listen carefully and a small voice will tell you which number to press.
If you are manic depressive, it doesn't matter which button you press. No one will answer anyway.
If you are dyslexic, press 96969696969696.
If you have a nervous disorder, please fidget with the pound button until a representative comes on the line.
If you have amnesia, press 8 and state your name, address, phone number, date of birth, social security number, and your mother's and grandmother's maiden names.
If you have post traumatic stress disorder, slowly and carefully press 911.
If you have bi-polar disorder, please leave a message after the beep. Or before the beep. Or after the beep. Please wait for the beep.
If you have short term memory loss, please try you call again in a few minutes.
If you have low self esteem, please hang up. All our representatives are busy.
An Irish priest was transferred to Texas.
Father O'Malley rose from his bed one morning. It was a fine spring day in his new west Texas mission parish. He walked to the window of his bedroom to get a deep breath of the beautiful day outside. He then noticed there was a j**... lying dead in the middle of his front lawn. He promptly called the local police station.
The conversation went like this:
"Good morning. This is Sergeant Jones. How might I help you?"
"And the best of the day te yerself. This is Father O'Malley at St. Ann 's Catholic Church. There's a j**... lying dead in me front lawn and would ye be so kind as to send a couple o'yer lads to take care of the matter?"
Sergeant Jones, considering himself to be quite a wit and recognizing the foreign accent, thought he would have a little fun with the good father, replied, "Well now Father, it was always my impression that you people took care of the last rites!"
There was dead silence on the line for a long moment.......
Father O'Malley then replied: "Aye,'tis certainly true; but we are also obliged to notify the next of kin first, which is the reason for me call.
BLONDES BLOW IT
Q: What's it called when a blonde blows in another blonde's ear?
A: Data transfer.
An Arab student e-mails his dad
Dear Dad,
Berlin is wonderful, people are nice and I really like it here,
but Dad, I am a bit ashamed to arrive at my college with my pure-gold Ferrari 599GTB when all my teachers and many fellow students travel by train.
Your son, Nasser.
The next day, Nasser gets a reply to his e-mail from his dad:
My dear loving son,
Twenty million US Dollar has just been transferred to your account. Please stop embarrassing us. Go and get yourself a train too.
Love,
your Dad
A Saudi Arabian prince is going to college in England
He texts his father,
"Dad, I feel weird driving my Lamborghini to school when all my classmates take a train"
His father replies;
"Son, I have transferred 500 million dollars into your account. Go out and buy a train and stop embarrassing this family"
Two electrons were talking...
The first electron said: "I remember when I transferred to the ground state, good times"
The second electron, knowing the first was making the story up replied: "You've never been down there, there's no need to Lyman!"
How many tech support reps does it take to change a light bulb?
I'm sorry, this isn't the right department to give you the answer to that question. Let me transfer you to another sub, hold please....
I got transferred from work three times this year for letting my clients give me o**... during checkups.
I'm starting to think that maybe a veterinarian career isn't for me.
In the old days, when you illegally downloaded music it would transfer everything but the drum tracks, so you'd have to duplicate those on your own.
That's why they say you can't steal music without repercussion.
The Nigerian football team were so disappointed with Saturday's performance that they have said they will personally refund all expenses to fans who travelled to support them.
All they need to do is send bank details, sort codes & PINs, and they will transfer the money directly …
The son of a rich Saudi sheikh arrives in Germany for his University studies.
He soon writes home to his father. "Dear Dad, Berlin is wonderful, the people are nice and I really like it here, but Dad I am a little ashamed to be riding to class every day in my 24k gold Ferrari 599GTB when my professors, friends and many fellow students all travel by train. Your son, Ahmed"
Promptly, his father writes back. "My Dear son Ahmed, $20 Million has just been transferred to your account. Please stop embarrassing our family. Go and get yourself a train too. Love, your dad"
did i ever tell you about the time that i was contacted by a former partner who was working in italy via the money transfer service i was using?
I was not ready when my ex communicated by the paypal authority
A woman goes into labor with her child
The doctor says that they have invented a new device to transfer the pain of child birth to the father.
He asks if it is ok to use the new device.
The couple agrees and so he turns the pain to the father to 10%.
The man feels nothing.
They then bump it up to 20%.
He still feels nothing.
They keep doing this until they have the machine up to 100%.
The man still felt nothing so they go home happy, until they find the milkman dead on the porch.
A mans wife was in labor when the doctor said...
You know, there is an experimental technology that can transfer your pain to the father, but he will feel the pain 10 times as much
The husband, seeing his wife in pain hurt him too much and said, Do it. I'm strong enough
The doctor then did it, and the man didn't feel a thing, which the doctor found odd.
Later, the couple came home, and found their mailman, on their driveway, dead.
An Arab student emails his dad:
*An arab student emails his dad:*
Dear Dad,
Berlin is wonderful, people are nice and I really like it here,
but Dad, I am a bit ashamed to arrive at my college with my pure-gold Ferrari when all my teachers and many fellow students travel by train.
Your son, Nasser.
*The next day, Nasser gets a reply to his e-mail from his dad:*
My dear loving son,
Twenty million USD have just been transferred to your account. Please stop embarrassing us. Go and get yourself a train too.
Love,
your Dad
[Classic Old Joke] The son of an Arab oil tycoon joined a university in Berlin, after a month he sent an email to his dad.
'Dear Dad,
Germany is fine and the college is great. But I feel embarrassed to drive my gold plated Lamborghini to college when most of the students and even professors arrive by train'
Few hours later, he gets an email from his dad.
'Dear son ,
I just transferred $200 million to your bank account. Stop embarassing our family and buy a train for yourself'.
A father and his son were standing the the farm, looking out into the fields
"One day, this will all be yours" the father said.
Next day the father died of natural causes and the ownership of the farm was transfered to the son.
24 hours later the bank came and took over, due to the fathers very high debt.
"I guess my father wasn't lying when he said this would all be mine for one day" the son then thought.
So, I had a commanding officer from Australia
Of course I used this fact to make stereotypical jokes and stuff.
He seemed rather calm towards it.
But two weeks later I realised I'm only one who was transfered between different squads.
And they were:
Charlie;
Uniform;
November;
Tango.
The plastic surgeon
A plastic surgeon walks into a bar and orders a beer. "I've been wondering... Can you successfully transfer a skin graft off one person's b**... to another person who isn't related to the donor?" the bartender asks. "a**... skin for a friend."
A doctor comes to check up on a hospice patient who's taken a turn for the worse.
They do some tests and look at some charts, then unlock the wheels on the bed and roll it into the hallway. "We're transferring you to the East Wing."
"What's the East Wing?" asks the patient.
"The morgue." replies the doctor. The patient exclaims, "The morgue?! .. but I'm not dead yet!"
"It's a long hallway."
