Trans Jokes

Following is our collection of transparent humor and transgendered one-liner funnies working better than reddit jokes. They include Trans puns for adults, dirty dysphoria jokes or clean transphobic gags for kids.

There is an abundance of tranny jokes out there. You're fortunate to read a set of the 84 funniest jokes on trans. Full with funny wisecracks it is even funnier than any kendall witze you can hear about trans.

The Best jokes about Trans

I want to try translating an Iraqi joke to English and see if it works. A man is sitting in a cafe...

A man is sitting in a cafe when suddenly someone he knows comes running to him in panic shouting "Quick, your wife is cheating on you with your best friend in the forest". The man runs out of the cafe angry and furious to see for himself and returns after a short while and sits back down on his chair. The people in the cafe and the guy that told him are confused and ask what happened. The man says "this son of a bitch was just exaggerating, firstly, it was just a couple of trees he made it out like it was a forest, secondly, best friend he says?! It turns out I don't even know the guy". Thank you

A transgender person cut me in line at the supermarket.

You're LGBT, right? I asked.

You forgot about the 'Q', they replied bluntly.

No, I said, you did.

What does Tumblr and KFC's chicken have in common?

They both contain high amounts of trans fats.

Why are there no transvestites in space?

Because there is zero drag.

 

 

^^I ^^literally ^^came ^^up ^^with ^^this ^^one ^^2 ^^hours ^^ago.

 

 

 

For health reasons, my doctor says I should avoid trans fats

I'm gonna miss tumblr


Raising children is hard as a trans parent

They see right through me

Do Transformers get car insurance or life insurance?

Neither because they live in America.

I COMPLETELY disagree with Trump's military trans ban...

I mean, wouldn't all those attack helicopters be useful??

Why cant transvestites be pilots?

There's too much drag.

My doctor advised me to stay away from trans fats.

I guess I should really get off Tumblr

My doctor told me to stay away from trans fats.

Guess I can't go on tumblr anymore.


Why did EA remove gender restrictions in The Sims 4?

They're just doing their small part, because EA loves micro trans actions.

My doctor told me to stay away from trans fats...

But it's 2017 and I'll date who I want

Bruce Jenner should legally change his name to Trans

I tried to translate my German grandfathers' favorite joke

A woman walks past a pet shop. In front of the store there is a cage with a parrot, that suddenly starts talking to the woman: "You're ugly"
The woman quickly walks away.

At the next day the woman again walks past the shop and the parrot again says "You're ugly".
This time the woman goes in the shop and complains to the salesman.

The salesman apologizes and tells the parrot to not say this ever again.
The next day the woman again walks past the pet shop and is happy to see the parrot turned completely silent. Provokingly she slows down. Suddenly the parrot starts screeching:
"I'm not saying anything but you know it!"

My doctor told me I should avoid trans fats

So I've just deleted my Tumblr.

Why is Tumblr so unhealthy?

It's full of trans fats.

According to my doctor it would be best for my health to stay away from trans fats

I'm really gonna miss Tumblr.

What has caused Caitlyn Jenner to put on weight?

Trans fats.


My doctor says I need to avoid trans fats

I'm really going to miss Tumblr

My doctor told me to avoid trans fats.

I'm really gonna miss tumblr.

My doctor told me I need fewer trans fats in my life...

Looks like it's time to delete Tumblr.

Why is Caitlyn Jenner so skinny?

Because the FDA just banned trans fats.

My transgender uncle is a superhero...

We call him Aunt-Man.

Will transparent coffins be a success?

Remains to be seen.

I made a robot who changes people into the opposite sex.

I guess he's a trans former

What do you call a skinny person that identifies as obese?

A trans fat

Why are transgender people rarely seen with their children?

Because they're transparent.

I really identify with the trans movement...

For the first 9 months of my life, I was a man trapped in a woman's body!

2 Transformers got married

Soon thereafter, they had a baby Transformer. But at that moment when they had a baby, they suddenly could not be seen anymore.

They had become Transparents.

Why does Caitlyn Jenner feel like her kids see though her?

I guess she is trans parent now

Tried translating a joke from Latvian.

John, a rural farmer, decided to visit the zoo in the capital with his family. He has a lot of fun, and comes back ecstatic. His neighbor
Tolya asks him what he saw there.

"Well, I saw a giraffe."

"What's a giraffe?"

"Well, you know horses?"

"Yeah."

"It's like a horse, but really tall and with a long neck."

"Okay, what else?"

"Zebra."

"Zebra?"

"Well, you know horses?"

"Yeah."

"It's like a horse, but with stripes."

"Okay, what else then?"

"I saw a hippo. "

"What's that?"

"You know horses?"

"Yeah?"

"Like a horse, but big and fat."

"Hm. Okay. Anything else?"

"Yes... a crocodile."

"What's a crocodile?"

"You know horses?"

"Yeah?"

"Nothing like one."

Transgender folks are the best at banking

Everything they do is a transaction.

What do you call an obese transgender?

Trans fat

Translated Chinese joke

Good news: Today is the little Johnny's first time flying!

Bad news: The engine caught fire as soon as he took off

Good news: He took a parachute with him so he could bail out

Bad news: The parachute failed midair

Good news: He saw a huge stack of hay right beneath him

Bad news: The top of the haystack is smeared with sh!t

Good news: He didn't land on the sh!t

Bad news: He didn't land on the haystack either

To the people comparing Rachel Dolezal pretending to be black to Caitlyn Jenner being trans...

Transrachel isn't the same as transjenner.

Can somebody help me translate 'orbis terrarum ad mihi' from Latin?

It would mean the world to me.

My doctor said I should avoid trans fats

So I stopped going on tumblr

Why are there no transvestites in space ?

Because there is zero drag.

Why do you never see transgender people with kids?

Because they're transparent

I translated a German joke and hope it's still funny

A man is treated by a psychiatrist because he thinks that he is a mouse. After some weeks of psychiatric counseling he is finally healed and has learned, that he isn't a mouse.

As the man in walks out of the psychiatrists office he sees a cat on the street and runs back to the psychiatrist and screams: "I'm scared! There's a cat on the street!"

The psychiatrist replies "I thought you know now, that you are not a mouse."

The man answers "Yes, I know that, but does the cat know this too?"

My doctor recommended that I stay away from trans fats

I should stop using recipes from tumblr.

I've never tried to hide my sex change from my kids.

I'm very trans parent about it.

The murder rate among trans women of color is so high

You'd think they were black guys.

How do you restrain a straight person?

Give them a straight jacket.

How do you restrain a trans person?

Make the trans' vest tight.

What did the Transgender Brontosaurus that formerly ate meat say, when visiting his old place?

"I've been herbivore."

If Tumblr was edible

It would have alot of trans fat

Why do cannibals hate Transgender people?

Too much trans fat

I was going to make a game where you play a death-defying, cross-dressing little person.

But I see you guys hate micro trans action.

A transgender four year old is like a vegan cat.

We all know who's making the lifestyle choices.

I am transfinancial

I am a rich guy trapped in the body of a poor guy

Saw others translating Russian and Romanian jokes and thought I'd share two Hungarian ones (but be warned, Hungarian humor is terrible)

GyΓΆrgy had a headache and asked his friend for advice, and his friend said he could cure the headache by hammering a nail into the place it hurt. So he lined up the nail and was getting ready to hit when he saw GyΓΆrgy cringing. "What are you scared of?" the friend asked, and GyΓΆrgy replied, "I'm scared that you'll miss!"

---------------

A man says to a woman, "I wish you would bring your smile over to my place."

The woman replies, "Aren't you a ladies' man!"

And the man replies, "No, I'm a dentist."

---------------

Still reading? You're crazy! Okay, here's a "bonus" one.

An electrician enters the room in the hospital where they keep the patients on life support and he calls out, "Take a deep breath, everyone! I need to change a fuse!"

Hopefully this translates well into English..

A man is sitting on a park bench reading a book called "Logic" and another man walking past sits down beside him and asks what logic means..
The man reading the book asks, "Well, do you have an aquarium at home?"
"Yes! I do!"
"So I'm guessing you have fish in your aquarium?"
"I do!"
"And if you have fish in your aquarium, I'm guessing you like animals..?"
"Yes, I like animals!"
"And if you like animals, I would say you like people as well?"
"Yes, I like I people.."
"And if you like people, I guess you like women too?"
"Oh yes, I LOVE women!"
"Well there you go, that's what logic is!"
The man contemplates the answer he received and is satisfied with it and is about to get up to leave, when he asks: "What would've happened if I said that I didn't have an aquarium at home?"
The man on the bench thinks to himself for a minute and answers, "Well, you would've obviously been gay then".

What do you call a group of chubby transgender people?

Trans fats.

What do transvestites do at Christmas?

Eat, drink and be Mary.

Why don't you ever see any Transgender parents?

Because they're Trans-Parent.

I'm an auto mechanic...

So I can safely say I don't understand the gay agenda.

But I do understand the Trans mission.

I saw a transvestite in a mini skirt

I thought.. that shows a lot of balls.

Translated from danish: 2 drunk sits in a bar.

One says: My dog keeps chasing people on a bicycle.....



The other guy things for a bit then replies: Then why don't you take the bicycle from it?.... (c:

Apparently Canada banned trans fats today...

I don't really mind, but I wonder what my Aunt John is gonna do...

A transgender walks into a bar

A man is sitting in his usual bar, enjoying a drink, when another man enters and takes a seat next to him. After a few uncertain glances, he realizes the man is actually a woman he used to know. He reintroduces himself, and they get to catching up. The man is quite intrigued with the concept of transsexual procedures and they have a long, engaging conversation about how different life must now be for the transgender man. After nearly an hour, he bids his farewell, and leaves the cisgender man back to himself. At this point, the bartender mentions how nice it can be to run into old friends, and then asks if they had just disconnected or if he had been on a trip. The man replies, "something like that, he was a broad for a while"

Why can't you see a transgender who's a dad?

Because he's a transparent.

Apologies if I could've worded it different.

What do you use to transport pittas?

A flatbread truck

I've decided to put off my gender transition surgery until after I've gotten my linguistics degree

I'm a trans later

Why did the transgender couple break up?

One cheated on the other while they were abroad.

My doctor told me to remove trans fats...

Who knew removing my tumblr app would get me back to proper health?

What does a Transvestite do on Xmas day?

Eat, drink and be Mary.

You can't be trans and say that you're ugly

You're a customisable character

How do you transfer money in the Vatican?

You use Papal.

Joe Rogan trans joke

Maybe if you live with crazy bi.... long enough they f..... turn you into one, Rogan said, referring to the Kardashian-Jenner women.Maybe you go crazy. Maybe that too. Especially those ones.

Translating the German joke Germans only tell Germans.

I don't like to talk about the Holocaust either. My grandfather died in a concentration camp.

He got drunk and fell off the guard tower.

Why do trans-people go invisible when they have kids?

They become trans-parent.

Some translated jokes

A man is accused of killing his mother in law and he is in court. The judge asks why he killed her. The man says "I didn't kill her. She died because she ate a poisonous apple." "Then why are her eyes black?" asks the judge. "She said she won't eat it."

***

Another man is accused of killing his friend by stabbing him 48 times. In court the judge asks why he killed his friend. The man says "I did not kill him Your Honor. I was peeling potatoes at home when my friend came to visit me. I dropped the knife when I tried to get up to greet him, but unfortunately he slipped and fell on the knife by his chest 48 times."

***

An officer becomes a platoon leader. He lined up his troops and holding a paper with the names of the soldiers he called their names to see who is who. He calls "John" and a soldier goes "Here!". "Smith", "Here!". And as he progressed down the list calling their names one name came up. Not thinking much the officer calls "Cat" and a soldier goes "Here!". Funny name, he thinks to himself and sees the next name. Confused the officer calls "Get your foot off the fence." and a soldier goes "Here!" After a few odd and strange names the officer says "You people have some strange names." and a soldier goes "Here!"

A transgender person has a child

Now he's transparent.

A transphobe, a racist, a homophobe and an anti-Semite walk into a bar.

The bartender says Hey, didn't you write those Harry Potter books?

What do nutrition labels and tumblr have in common?

They're both full of trans fats

Even though I'm pretty skinny, I identify as an obese person...

I'm trans fat.

What do you call a sexual interaction between two trans individuals?

A transaction.

This is the only good original joke I've made in my entire life, and that's not a joke!
Haven't seen this posted elsewhere before.

If I'm fat but identify as slim

Does that mean I am trans slender?

What do you call it when you have sex with a dwarf who has gender dysmorphia?

micro trans action

As per the doctor's recommendation, I have decided to rid my diet of trans fat.

Goodbye Tumblr!

What do you call it when a very small transgender EA employee does something?

A micro trans action.

Translated Brazilian Joke - A broken car in the desert

** In Brazil it is common making jokes about our colonizers, the Portuguese. I hope they do the same about us in Portugal, so... **

A Portuguese, a Brazilian and an Argentinian are driving through the desert when their car suddenly breaks.
JoΓ£o, the Brazilian suggests each one takes a piece of the car to help their journey walking back to the town.

Santiago, the Argentinian says: - I'll take the seat, so if I'm tired I can sit on it and rest.

JoΓ£o, the Brazilian says: - I'll take the radiator, so if I'm thirsty I can drink the water.

And Manuel, the Portuguese says: - Well, I'll take the door.

And both JoΓ£o and Santiago question Manuel: - The door?

Manuel says: - Yes, the door!!! So if it's too warm I can open the window.

:)

They say dad's a transvestite.

-Mommy, mommy! The kids in school say that dad's a transvestite!

-Son, your mom's in the kitchen.

Use only working piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Note that dirty and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. You can seriously offend people by saying creepy dark humor words to them.

Joko Jokes