Tran Jokes

They say dad's a t**....

-Mommy, mommy! The kids in school say that dad's a t**...!
-Son, your mom's in the kitchen.

What do transvestites do at Christmas?

Eat, drink and be Mary.

Why can't you see a transgender who's a dad?

Because he's a transparent.
Apologies if I could've worded it different.

What does a t**... do on Xmas day?

Eat, drink and be Mary.

2 Transformers got married

Soon thereafter, they had a baby Transformer. But at that moment when they had a baby, they suddenly could not be seen anymore.
They had become Transparents.

I translated a German joke and hope it's still funny

A man is treated by a psychiatrist because he thinks that he is a mouse. After some weeks of psychiatric counseling he is finally healed and has learned, that he isn't a mouse.
As the man in walks out of the psychiatrists office he sees a cat on the street and runs back to the psychiatrist and screams: "I'm scared! There's a cat on the street!"
The psychiatrist replies "I thought you know now, that you are not a mouse."
The man answers "Yes, I know that, but does the cat know this too?"

Translating the German joke Germans only tell Germans.

I don't like to talk about the holocaust either. My grandfather died in a concentration camp.
He got drunk and fell off the guard tower.

Another translated joke

A homeless man is very hungry and looking for food. He knocked on a door and a woman opens it.
"Do you have any food?" He asks.
"Would you like yesterday's borsch?"
"Yes please".
"Then come again tomorrow"

Translated from danish: 2 drunk sits in a bar.

One says: My dog keeps chasing people on a bicycle.....
The other guy things for a bit then replies: Then why don't you take the bicycle from it?.... (c:

what did the t**... say after the botched operation?

Aww nuts.

When Transformers was filmed in Detroit

Michael Bay had to use CGI to repair buildings

Transsexuals just aren't what they used to be

What do you use to transport pittas?

A flatbread truck

A transgender person has a child

Now he's transparent.

If you used to be transgender but aren't anymore..

would that make you a transformer?

My transgender uncle is a superhero...

We call him Aunt-Man.

How do you tell a transgender from a real woman?

The quality of the sandwich.

Have you ever heard of the similarities between a choo choo tran and a brthday?

Neither have i

What did the trans-gender, pan-s**..., gender-fluid ogre say to the heterosexual male ogre?

Shrek your privilege!

What do transgender cannibals call the blood of Christ?

Cross dressing.

The transcriber of the book of Revelations misheard the Angel Gabriel

The world isn't going to end with trumpets.
It's going to end with Trump/Pence.

Why do trans-people go invisible when they have kids?

They become trans-parent.

I translated an Ewokese joke into English

An Ewok marches into a cantina and says to the bartender, I'll have a Jawa Juice and …… Bantha milk.
The bartender says, Sure thing—but why the little pause?
Not sure, says the Ewok. I've had them all my life.
*Yub Nub!*

Why can't transvestites fly planes?

Theres too much drag.

Do Transformers get car insurance or life insurance?

Neither because they live in America.

Why cant transvestites be pilots?

There's too much drag.

How do you transfer money in the Vatican?

You use Papal.

What do transgenders put on their salad?

Crossdressing

A transgender person with kids would be invisible

Because they'd be transparent

Did you know that you can transfer into a much higher paying job in IT with almost no training?

Apparently its all about networking...

What's the name of the Transformer that likes to shop?

Amazon Prime

I got transferred from work three times this year for letting my clients give me o**... during checkups.

I'm starting to think that maybe a veterinarian career isn't for me.

Can somebody help me translate 'orbis terrarum ad mihi' from Latin?

It would mean the world to me.

How do you transport a multi-celled organism?

Eukaryote

What did the trans-textual book say to the librarian?

"Did you just assume my genre?"

Why don't you ever see any Transgender parents?

Because they're Trans-Parent.

Why are transgender people rarely seen with their children?

Because they're transparent.

I am transfinancial

I am a rich guy trapped in the body of a poor guy

What did the Transgender Brontosaurus that formerly ate meat say, when visiting his old place?

"I've been herbivore."

Why are there no transvestites in space ?

Because there is zero drag.

All those transgender "males" offended by my quotations....

Really need to grow a pair.

Being Trans is ok

As long as you're not fat

Why do you never see transgender people with kids?

Because they're transparent

A transgender four year old is like a vegan cat.

We all know who's making the lifestyle choices.

Will transparent coffins be a success?

Remains to be seen.

I'm a transfat...

I'm fat, but identify as skinny.

Why can't trans men enjoy chocolate?

It uses Hershey pronouns.

If a transgender gets surgery to be turned back to their natural-born s**......

Then does that make them a trans-former?

Why did the transgender couple break up?

One cheated on the other while they were abroad.

All transactions should be rounded down if you ask me...

But that's just my 0 cents.

The Transformer formerly known as RoboCop...

Stoptimus Crime

Where does a transformer get his glasses from?

Optometrist Prime

Why are all transwoman superheroes?

Because they are all ex-men

I want to try translating an Iraqi joke to English and see if it works. A man is sitting in a cafe...

A man is sitting in a cafe when suddenly someone he knows comes running to him in panic shouting "Quick, your wife is cheating on you with your best friend in the forest". The man runs out of the cafe angry and furious to see for himself and returns after a short while and sits back down on his chair. The people in the cafe and the guy that told him are confused and ask what happened. The man says "this son of a b**... was just exaggerating, firstly, it was just a couple of trees he made it out like it was a forest, secondly, best friend he says?! It turns out I don't even know the guy". Thank you

I saw a t**... in a mini skirt

I thought.. that shows a lot of b**....

I'll try to translate this joke from Spanish

A man is walking down the road carrying a shovel when his friend sees him.
Friend: Hey Pablo, you sure do look tired. What have you been up to?
Pablo: I come from burying my mother in law.
Friend: And you're that tired? Even with how strong you are?
Pablo: The massive b**... wouldn't let me!

I tried to translate a German joke

Jokes on you, we don't do jokes.

I tried to translate a german joke. Lets see if it worked

There are no jokes in germany. Go back to work.

I tried to translate a joke from Canadian

Did you hear about the war between Nova Scotia and Newfoundland?. ? The newfies were throwing grenades the Nova Scotians were pulling the pins and throwing them back

(Translated from Estonian) A man walks into a bar and orders a beer. After he had found a place to sit down, he suddenly feels an urge to pee.

But he just can't leave the beer on the table, somebody would drink it. He also can't take the beer to the toilet, that would just be weird.
So, he suddenly had an idea to leave a sign next to the beer. The sign said: "I spit in here".
When he got back from the toilet, he found another sign: "Me too".

I want to try translating a Finnish joke to English and see if it works.

What is the animal that steals license plates?
- A turtle.

I tried to translate a joke

General ordered soldier to catch a rabbit and make a soup while he is taking a nap. When he woke up he see a bowl of soup on table. Amused General asked soldier how did you catch rabbit in that short time?
Soldier replied I saw a rabbit running around and shot it immediately, it didn't even have a chance to meow

I tried to translate my German grandfathers' favorite joke

A woman walks past a pet shop. In front of the store there is a cage with a parrot, that suddenly starts talking to the woman: "You're ugly"
The woman quickly walks away.
At the next day the woman again walks past the shop and the parrot again says "You're ugly".
This time the woman goes in the shop and complains to the salesman.
The salesman apologizes and tells the parrot to not say this ever again.
The next day the woman again walks past the pet shop and is happy to see the parrot turned completely silent. Provokingly she slows down. Suddenly the parrot starts screeching:
"I'm not saying anything but you know it!"

I translated this joke into English from my native language

Woman goes to the witch and asks what will she accomplish in her life the witch says: You will cause death of 60 million people,, Woman runs through whole city and when she gets to her house she sees a small boy sitting in the middle of the road and big truck coming towards him she grabs him takes him off the road sits on a bench next to him and asks: whats your name little boy?,,
The boy answers: Adolf h**...,,

Looks like translating jokes is cool now

Bobby is sitting in his living room in his underwear, and wearing a blazer, when his wife comes in.
 
 
"Bobby why the h**... are you wearing a blazer?"
"Well, maybe we'll have guests..."
"Then why don't you have any pants on?"
"Well, maybe we won't."

Translated from german: What's red, triangular and flies over the lawn?

A red triangle.
What's black, triangular and flies over the lawn?
...
The shadow of the red triangle.

How do you tell a t**... is from Lancashire?

They have a Wigan Address

Tried to tranlate a joke

After bridge collapsed man decided to cross the river. While he cross something grabbed his b**... and voice came out from underneath plus two or minus two? Man had no idea what was going on and said plus two . After he passed he realized he has four b**... now. When he was coming back he thought if that b**... asks me again I will say minus two , and started crossing. That thing grabbed his b**... again and voice came out plus four or minus four? .

Why did the trans man only eat salad?

Because he was a herbefore.

Joe Rogan trans joke

Maybe if you live with crazy bi.... long enough they f..... turn you into one, Rogan said, referring to the Kardashian-Jenner women.Maybe you go crazy. Maybe that too. Especially those ones.

Transgender folks are the best at banking

Everything they do is a transaction.

Did you know the first trans people came from Egypt?

It was when daddy's became mummy's

A transgender person cut me in line at the supermarket.

You're LGBT, right? I asked.
You forgot about the 'Q', they replied bluntly.
No, I said, you did.

You can't be trans and say that you're ugly

You're a customisable character

Tried translating a joke from Latvian.

John, a rural farmer, decided to visit the zoo in the capital with his family. He has a lot of fun, and comes back ecstatic. His neighbor
Tolya asks him what he saw there.
"Well, I saw a giraffe."
"What's a giraffe?"
"Well, you know horses?"
"Yeah."
"It's like a horse, but really tall and with a long neck."
"Okay, what else?"
"Zebra."
"Zebra?"
"Well, you know horses?"
"Yeah."
"It's like a horse, but with stripes."
"Okay, what else then?"
"I saw a hippo. "
"What's that?"
"You know horses?"
"Yeah?"
"Like a horse, but big and fat."
"Hm. Okay. Anything else?"
"Yes... a crocodile."
"What's a crocodile?"
"You know horses?"
"Yeah?"
"Nothing like one."

A transphobe, a racist, a homophobe and an anti-Semite walk into a bar.

The bartender says Hey, didn't you write those Harry Potter books?

Having a trans parent is really difficult for kids.

It feels like they are never there.

Will transparent coffins ever catch on?

Remains to be seen