Train Set Jokes
36 train set jokes and hilarious train set puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about train set that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Funniest Train Set Short Jokes
Short train set jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The train set humour may include short train tracks jokes also.
- I was so embarrassed that my wife caught me playing with my son's train set that I threw the bedsheet over it. I think I managed to cover my tracks.
- I was so embarrassed when my wife found me playing with my son's train set that I threw a blanket over it. I think I managed to cover my tracks.
- The thought of one of my friends catching me playing with my train set is so embarrassing. So I covered the set up with bedsheets. Nobody will find out now, my tracks are covered
- Action films set unrealistic expectations. I just tried to jump onto a moving train but I destroyed my son's Scalextric.
- What do train sets and b**... have in common? They're intended for children, but it's usually the adults who end up playing with them
- What do train sets and b**... have in common? They're both meant for children but grown-ups love them.
- The baby is great. My wife and I just started p**... training. Which I think is important because when we want to p**... train the baby, we should set an example.
- Who sang at the f**... of those who died in a railroads arson? Adele.
Some one set fire to the train
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Train Set One Liners
Which train set one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with train set? I can suggest the ones about steam train and railroad train.
- What do you call a group of variables that go to the gym ? A training set.
Train Set Funny Jokes And Hilarious Puns.
What funny jokes about train set you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean train ride jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make train set pranks.
3 blondes are walking in the woods.
3 blonde girls are walking in the woods when they stumble across a set of tracks, the first girl having went to a zoo last week claims that the tracks are deer tracks, the second blonde laughs,
"Caitlyn you dumb b**... those are bear tracks!"
The third blonde chimes in,
"Oh my god no you're both wrong those are rabbit tracks."
They were still arguing when the train hit them.
Three blondes are walking through the forest when they come across a set of tracks.
The first blonde says, "Hey, look at that, deer tracks!"
The second blonde chimes in and responds, "No, Becky, those are moose tracks!"
The third blonde steps in and says, "You two are both wrong, those are obviously elk tracks!"
The three blondes kept arguing about what animal left the tracks until they were eventually hit by a train.
Two blondes were taking a walk through a bush when they came across a set of tracks.
'I'm sure they're bear tracks!', said the first blonde.
'No, they're deer tracks', said the second blonde, confidently.
They were still arguing when the train hit them.
Three Blondes
Three blondes were walking in the woods when they came across a set of tracks. The first blonde said, "Hey guys, look at the bear tracks." The second blonde said, "Are you s**...? Those are wolf tracks." The third blonde said, "You're both wrong! Those are fox tracks!" They were all still arguing when the train hit them.
Two blondes are in the woods looking at a set of tracks.
"They're wolf tracks," says the first.
"No way! Those are fox tracks!" Exclaims the second.
The two fight back and forth so loud they didn't hear the train coming.
A guy walks in to his backyard and sees a gorilla in his tree
He gets online and finds a man who specializes in gorilla removal. When he arrives at the house he has a stick, a set of handcuffs, a chihuahua, and a shotgun.
He tells the homeowner "I'm going to climb up in the tree and use the stick to hit the gorilla until he falls out of the tree. Upon landing, the trained chihuahua will viciously lunge for the gorillas g**... and when he attempts to protect himself we will slap on the handcuffs."
The homeowner, a little bewildered, says "that's crazy enough it just might work, but what is the shotgun for?"
"If I fall out of the tree first....shoot the chihuahua."
Three blondes are on a walk
While on this walk, they come across an interesting set of tracks. Taking interest in it, each of the girls have a guess as to what animal it could be.
The first blond said "I bet those are bear tracks", to which the other two scoff and say there were no bears around.
The second blond says "they might be raccoon tracks", but the others point out they have never seen raccoon tracks that big before.
The third one, joking, says "I bet those are elephant footprints" and they have a good laugh about it.
Then the train hit them.
Two blondes are walking in the park and come up on a set of tracks
One blonde says "I think these are bear tracks", the other blonde argues they are deer tracks. They were still arguing when the train hit them.
Tennessee Joke
Two guys are hunting in the woods one day and they get to arguing about a set of tracks they had spotted, "Them is deer tracks," one says. The other, "No them's bear tracks!" Back and forth for about an hour... Then they get hit by the train.
Train Tracks
A blonde, a brunette, and a red head were walking through a forest when they come upon a set of tracks.
"They must be a set of polar bear tracks," says the blonde.
"No, no, they are a set of deer tracks," says the brunette.
The red head then exclaimed, "Are you kidding me? Polar bear! This is a forest not the North Pole! A deer is understandable, but these are train tracks!"
They were still arguing when they were mauled by a polar bear.
A mathematician wants more excitement and wants to become a volunteer fireman on the weekends
He goes through the training, and proceeds to take the written final exam.
Question 1: You come across a car that is flipped upside down and on fire with the driver still in it. What do you do?
The mathematician answers with the steps he was taught in training.
Question 2: You come across a car that is flipped upside down with the driver still in it. What do you do?
The mathematician answers, Set the car on fire. Now it is a solved problem.
Three blondes are walking through the forest
when they come upon a set of tracks. The first says "These are obviously wolf tracks." The second says "You must be high! they're cougar tracks." The third replies "You're both r**.... They are definitely bear tracks!" They're still arguing when the train hits.
Three blondes are taking a walk
Three blondes are taking a walk in the woods when they come across a set of tracks.
The first girl says "Look! Deer tracks!"
The second one is like "No, those are moose tracks."
The third goes "What are you two thinking? Those are positively elk tracks.
So they continue to argue about it until the train hits them.
I tried to sell my Thomas the Tank Engine train set at an antiques store today.
"You would have got more for it if the fat controller wasn't missing." Said the assistant.
"Yeah, you're probably right." I replied. "She's good at haggling."
Three hunters
Three hunters went into a forest and came upon three sets of tracks. The first hunter examined the first set and said "These are deer tracks", the second hunter examined the second set and said "These are bear tracks", the third hunter didn't say anything because he was hit by a train.
Two people are walking in the woods
Suddenly, they come across a set of tracks. One of the tells the other that they're rabbit tracks. The other insists that they are fox tracks.
They were still arguing when the train hit them.
While I was working as a store Santa, a boy asked me for an electric train set.
If you get your train, I told him, your dad is going to want to play with it too. Is that all right?
The boy became very quiet. So, moving the conversation along, I asked, What else would you like Santa to bring you?
He promptly replied, Another train.
A dog comes upon a set of train tracks
As the pup crosses the tracks a train comes by and runs over the dogs tail, causing the tip of his tail to fall off.
Saddened by his loss, the dog turn around to sniff his lost appendage.
As he is sniffing his tail another train comes by and cuts his head off.
The end.
The moral of the story:
Don't lose your head over a little piece of tail!
Three hunters find a set of tracks in the woods
The first hunter says, Hey guys, I think these are moose tracks!
The second one says, No, I'm pretty sure these are wolf tracks.
The third one didn't say anything, because they all got hit by a train.
So three blonds were walking in th woods...
When they come across a set of tracks.
"Look at these deer tracks," said the first.
"These are clearly elk tracks," corrected the second.
"You're both wrong, these are moose tracks," replied the third.
They were all still arguing when the train hit them.
Three blondes are taking a walk through the woods
Suddenly, the blondes come across a set of tracks. They were intrigued.
The first blonde looked down at the tracks and said, "I think these might be bird tracks."
The second blonde went to look and said,
"No way, these have to be deer tracks."
They stepped aside and the third blonde went over to the tracks.
"Wait a minute.... These are—"
And then they were all hit by a train.
Three blondes were walking through a field when they came across a set of tracks.
The first blonde looked down at the tracks and said, "I think they could be bird tracks."
The second blonde went to look and said, "No, I think these are deer tracks."
They stepped aside and the third blonde went over to the tracks.
She looked down, then got run over by the train!
Monkey in a Tree
A man notices a monkey is up in his backyard tree.
He goes online and finds a man who specializes in monkey capture and removal.
When the trapper arrives at the house he shows up with a stick, a set of handcuffs, a Chihuahua, and a shotgun.
He tells the homeowner "I'm going to climb up in the tree and use this stick to hit the monkey until it falls out of the tree. When it lands, the trained Chihuahua will viciously lunge for the monkey's g**... and when it attempts to protect himself I will slap on the handcuffs."
The homeowner, a little bewildered, says "that's crazy enough it just might work, but what's the shotgun for?"
"In case I fall out of the tree first....you must shoot the Chihuahua."
My Drink With My Girl Friends and Rainy Night:
The day starts with rain, and whole the day i have not seen even a single train. At night she come to me o yeaah! She holds a v**... Bottle. Asked me for enjoying the full night with continuously sips of packs. I opened the bottle take a pack, she watched. Again i make a pack and take it. She looked at me and waiting for her pack. Again i make a pack and take it. She stands up. I request her to set down. Again i make a pack and take it. She stands and went off. Again I make a Pack and Tack it :D
A blond is hiking through the woods when she hears someone counting up ahead.
She emerges from the tree line to find a brunette doing jumping jacks on a set of train tracks repeating, "10, 10, 10..." upon every jump.
The blonde says to the brunette, "Excuse me for wondering, but what exactly are you doing?"
The brunette replies, "It's a great game I just learned called '10' but I have no one to play with. Want to join me?"
"You bet!" So the blonde jumps onto the train tracks with glee and they both do jumping jacks and count together for a several minutes.
As you suspect, it wasn't long before the a train comes barreling around the bend striking the blonde but missing the brunette who jumps off in the nick of time.
The brunette, completely unphased, gets back on the tracks and begins jumping and counting again.
"11, 11, 11..."
Santa's Jokes
Question: What's red and white and gives presents to good little fish on Christmas?
Answer: Sandy Claws.
Question: Why does Santa have 3 gardens?
So he can h**...-h**...-h**....
Question: What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire?
Answer: Frostbite.
Question: Why was Santa's little helper depressed?
Because he had low elf esteem.
Question: What do you get when you cross an archer with a gift-wrapper?
Answer: Ribbon hood.
Question: What do you call people who are afraid of Santa Claus?
Answer: Claustrophobic.
Question: What do snowmen eat for breakfast?
Answer: Snowflakes.
Question: Why did the little girl change her mind about buying her grandmother a packet od handkerchiefs for Christmas?
Answer: She said "I could not work out what size her nose was!
Question: What was so good about he neurotic doll the girl was given for Christmas?
Answer: It was wound up already.
Question: What was wrong with the boy's brand new toy electric train set he received for Christmas?
Answer: Forty feet of track - all straight!
I wanna tell you what kind of luck I've got. If this year I cornered the mistletoe market, they'd postpone Christmas.
Christmas: When you exchange hellos with strangers and good buys with friends.
Christmas is the time when people put so many bulbs on the outside of their houses, you don't know if they're celebrating the birth of Jesus or General Electric.
Do you know what it is like to put up fifteen hundred Christmas lights on the roof of a house? The kids are giving two to one I'm gonna come down the chimney before Santa Claus does.
Christmas in Los Angeles is always interesting. Seeing carolers dressed in Bermuda shorts...groping their way through the smog singing: "It came upon a midnight clear."
Every Christmas pageant throughout the world has a scene showing Joseph leading Mary into Bethlehem on a donkey. Do you realize what would happen if the Republicans asked for equal time?
Did you hear about the Beverly Hills school Christmas pageant? Two kids dressed as Mary and Joseph and they are on their way to the inn in Bethlehem. On the other side of the stage, a boy in a shepherd's outfit is on a mobile/ cellular phone, calling for reservations.
Sometimes I get the feelin that if Christmas, Father's Day and birthdays did not exist, then aftershave too, would not exist.