JokoJokes

Train Jokes

176 train jokes and hilarious train puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about train that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

From funny jokes about passenger trains to silly puns about locomotives, this article has it all! Read on for jokes about trains, tunnels, and buses, and get ready to laugh.

Funniest Train Short Jokes

Short train jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The train humour may include short rail jokes also.

  1. My boss said to me, "you're the worst train driver ever. How many have you derailed this year?" I said, "I'm not sure; it's hard to keep track."
  2. You know there's no official training for garbage men? They just pick it up as they go along.
  3. To whoever lost an iPhone 14 Pro Max outside the train station yesterday Can you please stop calling my new phone?
  4. I was so embarrassed that my wife caught me playing with my son's train set that I threw the bedsheet over it. I think I managed to cover my tracks.
  5. On my first day at astronaut training, I vomited and asked the instructor, Is this normal? He said, Not during a written exam, no.
  6. I absolutely refuse to vaccinate my kids. I'll have the doctor do it instead; he's trained for it.
  7. A PESSIMIST sees a dark tunnel An OPTIMIST sees light at the end of the tunnel
    A REALIST sees a freight train
    The TRAIN driver sees 3 idiots standing on the tracks
  8. My Mum used to feed my brother and I by saying 'Here comes the train', and we always ate the food straight away. Otherwise she wouldn't untie us from the tracks.
  9. A bus station is where a bus stops. A train station is where a train stops. At work, I have a workstation.
  10. My boss said to me, You're the worst train conductor we have ever had. How many derailments have you had this year? I said, I'm not sure; it's hard to keep track.

Share These Train Jokes With Friends




Train One Liners

Which train one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with train? I can suggest the ones about track and plane.

  1. Did you ever hear about the mexican train killer? He had locomotives
  2. Did you hear about the Mexican train bomber? He had locomotives.
  3. Don't vaccinate your children! Let a trained medical professional do it!
  4. I just got my prostate examined. That's the last time I fall asleep on the train.
  5. Why is Jesus always shown having a 6 pack? Because of all his cross training
  6. Ohio is stealing my life story A series of train wrecks in an already depressed area
  7. Have you ever heard of the mexican train killer? He had loco motives
  8. my dog is training to be a blacksmith every now and then he'll make a bolt for the door
  9. What's the best thing about going to auschwitz? Plenty of seats on the train ride home.
  10. Did you hear about that Mexican train thief? They say he had loco motives.
  11. How does a train eat? It goes chew chew
  12. I do resistance training every day It's called refusing to go to the gym
  13. The cure for my depression is right around the corner. Yes, here comes my train now.
  14. Hello, this is Seaworld... your call may be recorded for training porpoises
  15. How do trains hear? With their engineers

Train Tracks Jokes

Here is a list of funny train tracks jokes and even better train tracks puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • My mom used to feed me by saying: Here comes the train! I always ate everything. Otherwise she wouldn't untie me from the tracks.
  • Deep. Pessimist sees nothing but dark in the tunnel.
    Optimist sees light in the end of the tunnel.
    Realist sees light from incoming train.
    Engine-driver sees three idiots standing on the track.
  • I was so embarrassed when my wife found me playing with my son's train set that I threw a blanket over it. I think I managed to cover my tracks.
  • The thought of one of my friends catching me playing with my train set is so embarrassing. So I covered the set up with bedsheets. Nobody will find out now, my tracks are covered
  • I asked a train engineer how many times he had derailed. He said
    "I don't know it's hard to keep track."
  • I'm such a bad train operator, I can't even remember how many trains I've derailed. It's hard to keep track.
  • Dad says to his son, "A train just passed through not too long ago." Son ask, "How do you know?"
    Dad replies, "It left tracks."
  • A friend pushed me on to some train tracks and said it was a joke. I didn't get it, but then it hit me.
  • So Two Blondes are stand on a pair of Tracks So two blondes are standing on a pair of tracks arguing, They're deer tracks , No They're Bear Tracks
    Half a Hour a later they get hit by a train
  • My mom always used the "here comes the train~" trick to get me to finish my food and it was very effective... because otherwise she wouldn't untie me from the tracks.

Train Day Jokes

Here is a list of funny train day jokes and even better train day puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • Got the best compliment from my doctor today He said I had athlete's foot. I've only been training for 3 days so didn't think anyone would notice
  • Why are the majority of firefighters men? They've been training with fluid launching cannons since the day they were born.
    I'll show myself out.
  • My favourite thing to do after a long day at work is sit down and take off all my clothes. It makes my train journey more entertaining.
  • The personal trainer at the gym advised me to try some resistance training. So far it's going really well. I've resisted going to the gym for six days now.
  • I'm training for a marathon with my friend. Every day when we hit the trails he tells me the same thing, and it always makes me laugh. It's a running joke.
  • I rang Seaworld the other day. A lady answered the phone and said "This call may be recorded for training porpoises"
  • I took my orchestra onto a train one day The conductor was rubbish
  • I was sat across from a screaming child on the train the other day... ... He was so loud I could hear him through my wolf mask.
  • Crossfit died out The other day n the train:
    Girl : *sneezes
    me: "Bless You!"
    Girl : I Have a Boyfriend
    a few rows behind us: "I'm vegan"
  • I might not go to the gym because I don't like training abs and the weather doesn't look promising. It's oblique day.
Train joke, I might not go to the gym because I don't like training abs and the weather doesn't look promising.

Train Conductor Jokes

Here is a list of funny train conductor jokes and even better train conductor puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • What does a Muslim train conductor say before he starts his train? ALLAH BOARD!
  • There is a Hispanic train conductor going around committing horrible crimes.. No one knows why, but it's clear he has a loco motive.
  • What's the key to becoming a good conductor ? Train
  • A man steals and crashes a train and is then given the electric chair, but nothing happens. guess he was a bad conductor
  • A train conductor was struck by lightning 15 times and miraculously survived It turns out he was a bad conductor
  • Why did the Mexican train conductor get arrested? He had Loco motives
  • Why are trains so energetic? They have Conductors.
  • Did you hear about the Mexican train conductor who killed everyone? He had locomotives.
  • I was thinking of becoming a railway conductor... Then I thought of all the training.
  • TIL that people who've crashed a train before are impervious to being struck by lightning. Because they're bad conductors.

Train Station Jokes

Here is a list of funny train station jokes and even better train station puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • My friend told me that I don't understand the meaning of irony... ...which was ironic because we were at a train station
  • Gaming: What's the difference between a train and SONY? When the train announces an arriving "Station", you can see it.
  • What don't they name train stations after astrology signs? No passenger would ever make it past the terminal Cancer!
  • A bus station is where a bus stops, a train station is where a train stops. In my office I have a workstation. What more can I say.
  • Why did the crazy Mexican train driver run over the station master? Because he had a locomotive
  • So I met this guy at the train station... who was trying to kill himself. But I knew he was just looking for help, so I put him on the right track.
  • Two old men are riding on a train in north London, when it stops at a station. First Old Man: Is this Wembley?
    Second Old Man: No, it's Thursday.
    First Old Man: So am I. Let's go get a beer!
  • I was at the train station. The woman next to me said, "Is the next train from London to Edinburgh?"
    I said, "I doubt it. I don't think trains are that long."
  • What mythical creature keeps time for trains at the station? A metro-gnome
  • I unexpectedly had a good time today. I was sitting next to a blonde on the train and as my station was coming up I said;
    "Please excuse me, I'd like to get off".
Train joke, I unexpectedly had a good time today.

Laughter Train Jokes for Everyone for Fun and Frivolity

What funny jokes about train you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean tram jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make train pranks.

The guy sat next to me on the train pulled out a photo of his wife and said, She's beautiful, isn't she? I said, If you think she's beautiful, you should see my girlfriend mate.

He said, Why? Is she a stunner? I said, No, she's an optician.

A Frenchman, A Mexican, And an American are sitting in a train car together

The Mexican is eating a taco, Stops, And throws it out the window;The Frenchman asks, "Why did you do that?" The Mexican responds, "We have so many in my country, I just wanted to." So the Frenchman takes a croissant and throws it out the window, Saying, "We have too many of these." He then turns to the American and asks, "What do you have too many of in your country?" The American then throws the Mexican out the window.

Stalin, Kruschev, and Brezhnev are riding a train when it suddenly grinds to a halt.

Stalin says, "I know what to do. We shoot the conductor, the ticket collector, and ten passengers at random. Then the train will run again."
"No, I have a better idea," says Kruchev. "We tell everyone on the train that true communism is just around the corner! Then the train will run again."
"Tovarishi, you're trying too hard," Brezhnev cuts in. "We simply close the curtains, lean back and have a v**..., and *pretend* the train is running!"

A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead are lost in the wilderness...

...and they become very excited when they come across tracks. As they are following the tracks, the three of them take a guess on what animal could have possibly left them.
"Obviously, it must have been a horse," said the Blonde.
"No no no, we're in the forest, it must have been a deer," said the Brunette.
"You're both idiots. Obviously it's a dog!" said the Redhead.
They debated until the train came and hit them.

Lawyers and Engineers

Three lawyers and three engineers are at a train station on their way to a conference. The lawyers line up and buy three tickets, but the engineers only buy one ticket between the three of them. The lawyers are confused, and ask how the engineers plan on taking the train with only one ticket. The engineers just tell them to wait and see.
So they all board the train. The lawyers each take a seat, but the engineers all crowd in to a bathroom. The train starts moving and the conductor comes around punching tickets. He punches each of the lawyers' tickets, and then knocks on the bathroom door and says "Ticket please!" The engineers crack open the door and slide out the one ticket, which the conductor punches and then slides back through the door.
The lawyers think this is pretty clever, so on the return trip, they buy one ticket for the three of them, but then the engineers don't buy any tickets at all. The lawyers ask how the engineers plan on taking the train without any tickets, and the engineers just tell them to wait and see.
So once again they board the train. The three lawyers crowd into one bathroom, and the three engineers crowd into another bathroom. Once the train starts moving, one of the engineers exits the bathroom, knocks on the door of the lawyers' bathroom, and says "Ticket please!"

Other students come by train

A student to his father:
Dear father,
Berlin is a fantastic city, people are nice and I really like that city. But, I am a bit ashamed to come to school with my golden plated Ferrari whereas professors and other students come by train.
Love,
Your son
Next day, an answer comes:
My dear son,
I transferred 20M€ to your bank account. Please buy your train quickly.
Your loving father.

Three Blondes

Three blondes were walking in the woods when they came across a set of tracks. The first blonde said, "Hey guys, look at the bear tracks." The second blonde said, "Are you s**...? Those are wolf tracks." The third blonde said, "You're both wrong! Those are fox tracks!" They were all still arguing when the train hit them.

Saw a beautiful Thai woman on the train today...

kept thinking, don't get an e**..., don't get an e**..., don't get an e**..., but then she did.

My favorite blond joke of all time...

So two blondes were analyzing some tracks. The first one insisted they were rabbit prints, while the second blond was certain they were made by a raccoon. Back and forth they argued, rabbit tracks, raccoon tracks, rabbit tracks. Then they got hit by a train.

A man is sitting at home and a police officer knocks on his door.

The officer asks him if he is married and the man replies, "Yes I am."
He then asks him if he has a recent picture of his wife. "Sure hold on a second."
The officer looks at the picture, and in a sad voice says, "I'm sorry, but it looks like your wife has been hit by a train."
The man says, "I know, but she has a good personality and is an excellent cook."

Two blondes are in the woods looking at a set of tracks.

"They're wolf tracks," says the first.
"No way! Those are fox tracks!" Exclaims the second.
The two fight back and forth so loud they didn't hear the train coming.

Two Blondes are out on a hike....

....when one looks down and sees some tracks. "Hey look, deer tracks!" she exclaims. The other blond looks over and says, "Those aren't deer tracks! Those are rabbit tracks!" After about 10 minutes of bickering about what type of tracks they are, they get hit by a train.

Lenin, Stalin, Khrushchev, Brezhnev and Gorbachev are sitting together on a train...

The train breaks down. Lenin tries to rally the workers to work together and get the train running again. When that fails, Stalin lines up all the workers and shoots them. When that doesn't help, Khrushchev tries to reform the workers back to life. When that also fails, Brezhnev pulls down all the curtains in the rail car and says "let's just pretend the train is moving."
After sitting in the dark for a while, Gorbachev breaks the silence and says "Hey, any of you guys wanna pick up some McDonalds?"

A police officer knocks on a man's door.

The officer asks, "Is this the Sorkin residence?" The man nods.
"May I see a picture of your wife?" The man hands the officer a picture off a shelf.
The officer sighs, "It looks like she was hit by a train."
" I know, but she's such a nice lady and an excellent cook!"

When i was young my mom used to put food on the spoon.. and sing "train is coming, train is coming"...

I'd always eat cause i knew if i didn't, she wouldn't untie me from the railway line.

I was on the train this afternoon...

when I sat across from a very attractive babe from Thailand.
I spent the next 10 minutes thinking to myself, "don't get an e**..., please don't get an e**...". But she did.

Three blondes are walking through the woods...

They come across a pair of tracks.
The first blonde says, "I think these are bear tracks!"
"No", the second blondes goes, "these are definitely deer tracks!"
The third blonde says, "I think they're rabbit tracks!!"
Then the train hit them...
This is my favorite clean joke by far.

An Arab student e-mails his dad

Dear Dad,
Berlin is wonderful, people are nice and I really like it here,
but Dad, I am a bit ashamed to arrive at my college with my pure-gold Ferrari 599GTB when all my teachers and many fellow students travel by train.
Your son, Nasser.


The next day, Nasser gets a reply to his e-mail from his dad:

My dear loving son,
Twenty million US Dollar has just been transferred to your account. Please stop embarrassing us. Go and get yourself a train too.
Love,
your Dad

Pregnant Lady on the Train

A young boy ride's the train every morning to and from school. One day as we was getting off the train he saw how much of a rush this one pregnant women was in, so he stepped aside and said "after you ma'am," as he stepped aside and let her step off the train. From that day on they began to sit next to each other every single day, twice a day. They told each other about their days, their families, their problems, and their goals. They eventually got so close that the young boy was invited to the hospital just after the birth of her first child. at this moment she turned to the young boy and said, with a smile, "I'm going to name him after you"
Excited but a little bit confused the boy responded:
"I really appreciated that, but he's your child, I think you should name him first"

I told my girlfriend to roleplay as a a Lvl 100 Charizard while we were having s**....

She scratched me and told me that I didn't have enough badges to train her.

Three Blondes

Three blondes are hiking in the woods when they see some tracks.
1st blonde: Look guys, deer tracks!
2nd blonde: No, s**..., they're wolf tracks!
3rd blonde: You guys are both dumb, they're clearly bear tracks!
Then they got hit by a train.

*Teacher to Student* T: "Use the word 'centimeter' in a sentence"

S: "My grandma was arriving at the train station so i was centimeter"
T: "No, no, that's 'Sent to meet her'. Okay, try another one. Use 'contagious' in a sentence please"
S: "I had to wait at the train station for hours because it took that contagious!"

A dog lays by the railroad tracks..

And falls asleep with his tail hanging over them a little. A train comes by eventually and cuts off the tip of his tail. The dog whips around to see what happened and the train cuts off his head, too.
Moral of the story? Don't lose your head over a little piece of tail.
This is my grandpa's favorite joke. He has Alzheimers and can't remember much, but this joke is on constant replay and you can see the old twinkle in his eye when he tells it.

An Emergency Call Centre operator has been fired...

An Emergency Call Centre operator has been fired in Bradford
It seems that a caller dialed 999 from a mobile phone stating, "I am depressed and lying on a railway line so that when the train comes I can finally meet my maker."
To which the call centre employee replied, "Remain calm and stay on the line."

They say that trains are full of weird people...

...but I don't think that's true. I've never met a weird person on a train, and I talk to *everyone.*

Why did the crazy mexican c**... a train?

He had loco motives...
I'll show myself out

Two men and two women are on a train.

There is a mother and daughter on their way to have a holiday, and there is an old general and his valet, a young sergeant. The train goes through a tunnel, and everything is dark. There is a *mwsshk!* and a *s**...!* and the train leaves the tunnel.
The mother thinks, "that young man stole a kiss from my daughter and got slapped for it!"
The daughter thinks, "that young man tried to kiss me, and kissed my mother by mistake!"
The general thinks, "that upstart pup steals a kiss and I get slapped for it."
The sergeant thinks, "not bad! I just kiss my hand and get to slap the general, and here comes another tunnel!"

What do you call it when Oxygen and Nitrogen train at the gym together?

Air conditioning

A Saudi Arabian prince is going to college in England

He texts his father,
"Dad, I feel weird driving my Lamborghini to school when all my classmates take a train"
His father replies;
"Son, I have transferred 500 million dollars into your account. Go out and buy a train and stop embarrassing this family"

When I was young, my mum used to put food on a spoon

When I was young, my mum used to put food on a spoon and say, "There's a train coming. There's a train coming." We'd always eat it because we knew that if we didn't she wouldn't untie us from the railway line.

Overheard this in the train, not a joke per se, but I found it funny

>Two dudes were talking about moving to US so the first dude's child will have an American education.
Dude1: My wife and I were thinking that we should move to the US so our kid will have an American education?
Dude2: You dont want to do that.
Dude1: Why?
Dude2: You are telling me you want to send your child to a place where people cant tell the difference between a clock and a bomb?

Why did the Mexican train driver kill all of his passengers?

I'm not sure, but he must have had a loco motive.

Frustrated p**....

There was this hard working p**... who had been working 18 hours a day for more than a decade.She had a quite a bit of money but money wasn't what she wanted anymore, she was sick of her job,her life ,EVERYTHING.One day she decided to end her miserable life and she lied down on a train track with her legs spread apart. The next day it was all over the news "Local Train Missing".

A man asks a farmer near a field,

A man asks a farmer near a field, Sorry sir, would you mind if I crossed your field instead of going around it? You see, I have to catch the 4:23 train.
The farmer says, Sure, go right ahead. And if my bull sees you, you'll even catch the 4:11 one.

I'm upset. I'm two years into engineering school and...

I haven't even started learning how to drive a train

What's the difference between a teacher and a train?

One says, "Spit out your gum!"
The other goes, "Choo Choo Choo"

While I was living in Japan a woman approached me on the train...

She said to me, "What's black and white and red all over?"
"Wow," I said, "You can speak English?"
"Just a riddle," she said.

An American, a Chinese, a Russian, a German and a Syrian passenger are on a train...

The American starts to toss legal documents out the train's window.
The German asks, "Vy are you doing zat?"
The American replies, "We have too much of these."
---
Then the Chinese begins throwing rice out the window.
The German asks, "Vy are you doing zat now?"
The Chinese replies, "We got lay too much of that lice."
---
The Russian then flicks dashcams and v**... out his window.
The German asks, "Vat's the matter vith those?"
The Russian replies, "They're too common where I'm from, comrade."
---
The German looks at the Syrian guy.
#The Syrian guy, nervous, exclaims, "Don't you fooking dare!"

Woke up to a b**... earlier.

That's the last time I fall asleep on the train with my mouth open..

Three blondes found some tracks...

The first blonde said, "Those are bear tracks!"
The second blonde said, "No, those are deer tracks!"
The third blonde said, "No those are dog tracks!"
And that was when the train hit them.

The police officer holds up a photo and asks a man; "is this your wife?"

The man looks at the photo and answers; "Yes that is her."
The police officer looks the man in the eyes and calmly exclaims; "I am afraid it looks as though your wife has been hit by a train."
The man replies; "Yes, officer, but she is kind and makes great food for me."

The pessimist only sees darkness into the tunnel...

The optimist sees the light at the end of the tunnel
The realist sees a light approaching into the tunnel
The train driver sees 3 arseholes walking over the railway

An optimist sees the light in the tunnel

An optimist sees the light in the tunnel.
A pessimist sees the darkness in the tunnel.
A realist sees the train in the tunnel and the conductor sees 3 idiots on the rails.

How did the train conductor use the insanity defense when she was accused of m**...?

She claimed she had locomotives.
(I'm sorry.)

The pregnant woman sitting across from me on the train laughed.

I asked her
"What's so funny?"
She smiled and replied.
"My baby just told me something."
I was shocked!
"Really? What did he say!"
She grins.
"Oh you wont get it, it's an inside joke."

A man gets hit by a train and loses his legs

A man loses his legs in a train accident
and when hes rushed to hospital
the only available transplant are a child's
so he gets the surgery
and when he wakes up he falls to the floor in pain
the nurse runs up and says
'sir is it your legs'
and the man goes
'no'
'its my kidneys'

The hottest girl sat next to me on the train today...

I kept thinking to myself "Please don't get an e**..., please don't get an e**...".
But she did.

What is the difference between a teacher and a train?

A teacher says "Spit out the gum!"
A train says "Chew! Chew!"
Ye, courtesy of my 8 year old daughter.

Three blondes are walking through the forest when they come across a set of tracks.

The first blonde says, "Hey, look at that, deer tracks!"
The second blonde chimes in and responds, "No, Becky, those are moose tracks!"
The third blonde steps in and says, "You two are both wrong, those are obviously elk tracks!"
The three blondes kept arguing about what animal left the tracks until they were eventually hit by a train.

Hot Thai girl

I was sitting opposite a really hot Thai g**... the train this morning.
I thought to myself, "Please don't get an e**..., Please don't get an e**...."
But she did.

I was being trained as a caller in a s**... prevention hotline...

...On my first day of training, my manager said;
"Let me show you the ropes!"

Einstein is on a train leaving New York.

He leans over to another passenger and asks, "excuse me, do you know if Boston stops at this train?"

I was sitting on a train next to a hot Thai girl.

I thought to myself "Please don't get an e**..., please don't get an e**...."
But.....she did.

A school teacher in Hyderabad was once asked, "Can you make a sentence without using 'E'?"

"I doubt I can. It's a major part of many many words. Omitting it is as hard as making muffins without flour. It's as hard as spitting without saliva, napping without a pillow, driving a train without tracks, sailing to Russia without a boat, washing your hands without soap. And, anyway, what would I gain? An award? A cash bonus? Bragging rights? Why should I strain my brain? It's not worth it."

I was sitting on a train yesterday and saw this stunningly beautiful Thai girl.

I thought to myself, Please don't get an e**..., Please don't get an e**... . But she did.

What must you have if you want to c**... a train?

A loco motive.
I made this one up several years ago and have never posted here 🙃

Two men on a train both have black eyes.

Man 1: "how did you get that black eye?"
Man 2: "I was buying my ticket from this beautiful b**... girl and instead of saying 'a ticket to Pittsburgh' I accidentally said I wanted 'a picket to Tittsburgh' so she hit me. How about you?"
Man 1: "Yeah, something similar happened to me. I was sitting around having breakfast with my wife and I meant to say 'pass the wheaties' and I accidentally said 'you ruined my life you s**... b**...'."

Two cowboys are riding out when the spot an Indian laying down with his ear to the ground.

Approaching him, one Cowboy says Look here. These Indians can track wagons from miles away. You there, what can you tell about the closest wagon train?
The Indian says Large Conestoga wagon, father, mother, three daughters, headed due west at around two miles per hour .
Wow! Exclaimed the cowboys in unison. You can tell all that by listening to the ground?
Nuh-uh. Ran over me half an hour ago .

A woman opens up a stand near the train station selling apples for 1$

Each day, the same man walks over to the stand, leaves a 1$, but doesnt take any apples. This went on for an entire year, until one day, the man left a dollar and was about to leave but the woman grabbed him by the hand. The man says: "I see you are finally interested why I keep leaving a dollar but not buying any apples well-" The woman cuts him off: "No I am not the least bit interested, apples now cost 2$ instead of one".

What do you call a train full of prostitutes?

A train of Thot.

A guy sits next to me on the train.

He pulls out a photo of his wife, and says, "Isn't she beautiful?!"
I replied, "Of course, but maybe you should see my girlfriend.
"Really? Is she a stunner?" he asked.
"No, she's an optician."

There isn't much training involved in being a garbage man

You just pick it up as you go along

A detective is investigating a crime scene in Mexico.

A cop fills him in on what happened.
Apparently the killer is riddled with dementia and considers the train his lover, so he killed the train operator out of jealousy
Wow says the detective, looking up at the train in question.
That's some locomotive

A man sits next to another man on the train and pulls out a photo of his wife isn't she beautiful?

Other man: If you think she's beautiful you should see my wife
First man: Why? Is she a stunner?
Other man: No, she's an ophthalmologist

ME: I trained this chicken to talk.

HER: Let's hear then.
ME: What's a male deer called?
CHICKEN: Buck
ME: How much is 200 pennies worth?
CHICKEN: Buck Buck
HER: This is dumb.
CHICKEN: It gets way better, Susan.

Train joke, ME: I trained this chicken to talk.

jokes about train