Trail Jokes
126 trail jokes and hilarious trail puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about trail that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Explore the historic trails of America with these hilarious jokes! Laugh your way through the Oregon Trail, Appalachian Trail, Snail Trail and more. Find out what trail mix has to do with Tonto, what route they paved, and more!
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Funniest Trail Short Jokes
Short trail jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The trail humour may include short trip jokes also.
- Playing Oregon Trail. You meet a man on the Oregon Trail. He tells you his name is Terry. You laugh and tell him, That's a girl's name! Terry shoots you. You have died of dissin' Terry.
- I have a Spotify playlist that has songs from The Peanuts Movie, Eminem, and The Cranberries I call it my trail mix.
- A cowboy ran out of food on the trail so he had to boil and eat his leather chaps. The next day he pooped his pants.
- I was playing an updated version of Oregon Trail voiced by Terry Crews. I made the comment that he wasn't a good voice actor, and the game abruptly ended. Apparently, I died of dissin' Terry.
- My boss went deer hunting. He winged a buck but ended up losing the trail. I messaged him oh deer, that must have been stag-gering when you fawned out you didnt get it .
- Recent studies have shown that Apple is trailing behind Samsung in innovation Experts predict that it will take at least another two years for iPhones to bring explosive features to the market.
- No one wanted to join me on the difficult mountain trail. They all said it was a hard pass.
- After tonight's World Series game... It looks like the Indians are going to have a different type of trail of tears.
- A man is walking down the street with a length of string trailing behind him ... Why are you pulling that string along ? asked a nosey cop. The mans answer? You try pushing it !
- I'm training for a marathon with my friend. Every day when we hit the trails he tells me the same thing, and it always makes me laugh. It's a running joke.
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Trail One Liners
Which trail one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with trail? I can suggest the ones about railroad and track.
- Gawker must have been playing The Oregon Trail 'cause they just died of dissin' Terry.
- What kind of trails does a crazy person travel? Psychopaths. (I hate myself)
- Do you know what I call my hiking playlist? My trail mix
- I'm Cherokee and German... I can walk a trail but I can't finish a race.
- What do you call a gathering of single hikers? A Trail Mixer.
- How do you find a girl with no legs? Follow the slime trail.
- Why was the sacajawea coin made? because the Trail Of Tears had a toll booth.
- Why did the peanuts and m&ms decide to eat some trail mix? Oh, they had their raisins.
- Life is the most expensive subscription ever And 18 is when the free trail ends
- Have you guys had the new Lance Armstrong Trail Mix? There's only one nut in the bag.
- What does a hiker love to listen to? A trail mix!
- I said hi to a feminist yesterday My trail starts at next Sunday.
- How did Hansel and Gretel get lost in das woods? the trail was crumby.
- Did you hear about the CRAZY paved trail?... It's a "Cycle-Path"
- What Happens when the Cubs win the World Series? ...They Leave a Trail of Tears
Oregon Trail Jokes
Here is a list of funny oregon trail jokes and even better oregon trail puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- Why couldn't the ghostbusters ever finish Oregon Trail? Because they couldn't cross the streams.
- Some guy on the Oregon Trail makes a joke at the expense of Terence, a known outlaw. He died of dissin' Terry.
- Why wasn't drinking permitted on the Oregon trail? It was important not to fall off the wagon.
- Did you know the original programmer of Oregon Trail was beaten to death by mentally ill Discworld fan? He died of dissin' Terry.
- A food truck rodeo is a lot like the game The Oregon Trail You circle your wagons.
You trade money for food.
And it usually ends with dysentery. - A friend of mine died on the Oregon trail. He insulted Terry's mother. He died of dissing Terry.
- I never try to make fun of a guy named Terry. Because just like the people on Oregon trail I don't want to die of disen Terry.
- How come the Ghostbusters never made it very far in Oregon Trail? They refused to cross streams.
- My uncle died on the oregon trail We buried him in cholerado
Trail Mix Jokes
Here is a list of funny trail mix jokes and even better trail mix puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- What do you put in your interstellar trail mix? Astro-nuts
- What does trail mix have in common with a nursing home? They're both filled with nuts
- When you try to kill your friend by putting angry wasps in his snack pack... Bee trail mix.
- What do you eat when you go hiking? Trail mix
Hiking Trail Jokes
Here is a list of funny hiking trail jokes and even better hiking trail puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- My friend has the ability to hike the most complex of trails without getting lost. It's pathological.
- How do hiking trails make babies? They fork!
Trail Of Tears Jokes
Here is a list of funny trail of tears jokes and even better trail of tears puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- Did you hear about the Native American with a habit of ripping things up? They left a trail of tears
- Andrew Jackson being on the $20 bill makes sense It foreshadowed how 2020 would be a trail of tears.
- What's wrong with Andrew Jackson? He had an Underground Rail Road too, called the Trail of Tears.
- Do you know which route the Indians took to get home after the World Series loss? The Trail of Tears.
- What's the opposite of my happy trail? Trail of Tears.
Appalachian Trail Jokes
Here is a list of funny appalachian trail jokes and even better appalachian trail puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- Rarely, hikers of the Appalachian trail report seeing psychic grizzlies take control of their friends, who start foraging and looking for honey... Bear in mind, that doesn't happen very often.
Laughter Trail Jokes for Everyone for Fun and Frivolity
What funny jokes about trail you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean tram jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make trail pranks.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A pilgrim is walking through the woods when he comes across a hungry bear....
...the pilgrim then drops to his knees on the trail and claspes his hands together to pray for salvation. To his surprise . . . so did the bear! Greatly heartened by this, the pilgrim then began to pray.
"Oh, Heavenly Father, please let this be a Christian bear! I don't want to be eaten by those evil n**... devil bears!
And the bear, to the great shock of the pilgrim, began to pray, too!
Kneeling there on the side of the road across from the pilgrim, paws clasped together, the bear prayed, "Oh, Heavenly Father! For this meal, which we are about to receive . . . we give thanks.
A fine wine
The Navajo woman accepted my offer of a lift to the reservation, but didn't seem inclined to say much more. I noticed a look of ill-disguised disapproval as she got in the car, lingering for a moment on my exposed cleavage, but that was all – she gazed stonily ahead while the car pulled away, leaving a trail of hot Nevada dust in the rear view mirror.
After a few failed attempts at small talk, and my knowledge of her culture exhausted, I kept quiet, and concentrated instead on the evening ahead: a quick bath before Jim returned from work, followed by a dinner with Michael, his boss, at Bon Vivant, the new French restaurant.
The Navajo woman eyed the silk-wrapped bottle of expensive Cabernet Sauvignon I'd bought, as it rattled gently on the dashboard, and said, 'What is in parcel?'
Though a bit surprised by her directness, I was pleased at the conversation, and I replied, 'A bottle of wine – I got it for my husband.'
She nodded thoughtfully, seeming to approve, and then replied, 'A good trade.'
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Tomato Family
A Papa Tomato, a Mama Tomato, and a Baby Tomato are all walking down the street. The Baby Tomato starts to trail behind. The Papa Tomato turns around and walks over to the Baby Tomato, SMASHES him, and says "Ketchup!"
What do you call a trail that's been punched a lot?
The beaten path
Tribal Wisdom
So a cowboy is riding along a trail in the old west and sees an Indian lying on his stomach with his ear to the ground. As he gets closer he hears the Indian saying to himself "Wagon...two gray horses...two passengers, man and woman...man driving" The cowboy goes "Wow! you can tell all that by just putting your ear to the ground?" The Indian replies "No. Wagon pass half hour ago, run me over."
What is a trailer park's favorite game?
Twister
What do you call a thief that leaves a trail?
A crummy thief!
A man goes to the dentist for a root canal
The dentist asked him if he wanted has or novocaine to numb it.
The man says "Neither. I've only said ouch twice in my life."
Intrigued, the dentist asks him about it.
"Well," days the man, "Once I was out hiking and nature called. So I stepped off the trail and squatted over a log to do my business and set my nuts square in the middle of a bear trap. That was the first time I ever said ouch."
"Sounds horrible," the dentist exclaimed. "When was the second time?"
"As soon as I reached the end of the chain."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Politicians
A bus filled with politicians was driving through the countryside one day, on the campaign trail. The bus driver, caught up in the beautiful scenery, loses control and crashes into the ditch. A farmer living nearby hears the horrible c**... and rushes out to discover the wreckage. Finding the politicians he buries them. The next day, the police come to the farm to question the man. "So you buried all the politicians? " asked the police officer. "Were they all dead? " The farmer answered, "Some said they weren't, but you know how politicians lie. "
Why do women have legs?
So they don't leave a snail trail
Why do women have legs?
To not leave a slime trail.
What do you call it when you keep wiping but brown still shows?
The Trail of Smears
Where do trailer park miscarriages go?
Out of the trash and into the garbage
A woman calls 911...
A woman calls 911:
‒ Please help, a skunk got into my house and I can't seem to shoo it out.
‒ Ma'm, just make a trail of breadcrumbs out of the door, the skunk will follow them out.
A little while later, the same woman calls back:
‒ Yes, hi. I followed your advice with the breadcrumbs... now I have two skunks.
Father & Son
A father and son are going for a walk.
The son turns to the father, and asks "did you know cows can give milk?"
The father replies "so do some sheep."
They walk a bit more, and the son asks "did you know trees can grow fruit?"
The father replies "so do some bushes."
They walk a little further down the trail and the son asks "did you know pickles come from cucumbers?"
The father replies "so do some girls!"
why couldn't the imperial guard sniff out the money trail in skyrim?
because of a deviated septim
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
m**... at The Grand Canyon!
Investigators, hot on the trail.
If you think your girlfriend has a great sense if humor...
try leaving a trail of rose petals leading to a sink full of dirty dishes.
Why did god give women legs?
Have you ever seen that trail a slug leaves behind?
Hillary Meets with Satan
Hillary was finishing up a day on the campaign trail when the Devil suddenly appeared in her and made her an offer...
"I am here to offer you a deal," the Devil said. "I will give you unlimited wealth, even more power, and a media that will pander to your every whim. In return, all I ask for is your soul, the souls of every member of your family, and the souls of all your constituents."
Hillary pondered for a moment and then asked, "Unlimited wealth and power?"
"Absolutely unlimited," the Devil asserted.
"A pandering media?" she asked.
"They'll fall over themselves to support you, no matter what you say or do," the Devil assured.
"And you want my soul, my family's souls, and the souls of my constituents?" she asked.
"Yes. All of them," the Devil answered.
Hillary was deep in thought for a moment, then finally spoke:
"So...what's the catch?"
I gave 3 berries to my friend in a trail and got shot immediately...
The sign never said they would shoot for trespassing!
Found a dead box turtle on the trail. You know how I knew it was dead?
It had rigor-tortoise
Even though the trailer said Switch
I still came
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
It's 2004 and George W Bush is on the campaign trail...
He stops at a small-town midwest diner for breakfast. After taking a seat he is greeted by a pretty young waitress.
"Mr president, what an honor it is to be serving you. So what will you be having this morning?"
Dubya looks up from his menu, smiles, and says "How about a q**...?"
The waitress is appalled. "Mr president! I voted for you because I thought you stood for morals! And family values! I guess you're no better than Clinton."
After she storms off, one of the president's advisors leans over and says "Hey, uh, George, it's pronounced *keesh*."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Three vampires make a bet about how many people they can eat in one night...
They agree to meet in the clearing late at night and show off what they did.
The first one comes up and he has blood all over his mouth. He says "you see that tree over there? Behind it is a trail that leads to a giant house with a family... I ate them all"
The second one comes up and he has blood all over his face. He says "you see that tree there? Behind it is a trail that leads to a village... I ate everybody in the village"
The third one impressed his friends, he had blood all over his face and neck and covering his shirt. "What happened?" They asked him.
"You see that tree right there?" He said, "cause I did not".
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What's a zombie child's favorite game?
The o**... Trail.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A bus filled with politicians was driving on ....
.... The country road on campaign trail. Suddenly on a turn the bus veered off and hit a tree with great force. A farmer nearby rushed in, and seeing the scattered bodies proceeded to bury them with dignity.
Police arrived in few hours and proceeded to question the farmer.
Police: "Good deed you did there. So all of them died huh?"
Farmer: " You know how these politicians are. Some of them kept lying that they were alive but I'll be d**... if I believed them again"
My girlfriend "Dad joked" me on a hike.
I asked my girlfriend what she thought trees would sound like if they talked while on a hike.
She said "I bet we couldn't understand them"
I said "why do you think that?"
She said "because they probably only bark"
She then laughed the next half mile down the trail barking occasionally and saying "shh, shh, do you hear that? Thats a tree talking in the distance"
The Cosby trail will be the first time
The saying "the proof is in the pudding" will be accepted in court
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What do you call a pioneer smoking w**...?
A trail blazer.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Did you also hear...
... about the cowboy who bought a dachshund. He heard the trail boss say to Get along little d**... .
Why should you avoid paying for a cat with your credit card?
So you don't leave a pay purr trail
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I'm off for a walk tomorrow, so decided to make my own trail mix.
It's mostly Spiced r**... and Coke in a flask...
How I know the World is NOT flat
You can see the curve in a plane's chem trail as it approaches the horizon.
Why didn't the Trailer have any friends?
Because it was always pulling the race car.
We need trails in mental hospitals
Just add some psycho-paths
A blind man, paraplegic, and deaf man visit a healer on a mountain.
The blind man goes up the trail using his white cane. Arriving at the top he asks to be healed and so it is. He throws his cane off the mountain and comes back down.
The paraplegic goes up the mountain with great difficult and asks to be healed and so it is. He throws his wheelchair off the mountain and comes back down.
The deaf man ponders the situation. He's gonna need an interpreter to help him at the top and so the two of them sets off to the top. At the top he asks to be healed and so it is. He throws the interpreter off the mountain and comes back down.
Today I learned that all hikers on the AT are given nicknames. This confused me at first, but then it all made sense!
It is the Appellation Trail after all.
A man was walking through the park..
As he is walking down the trail, he notices a tennis ball in the grass. He looks around, doesn't see anybody it might belong to, so he picks it up and puts it in his pocket to take home, thinking the neighbor's dog might enjoy it. After leaving the park to walk home, he comes to a crosswalk. While waiting to cross he see's a gorgeous blonde waiting to cross as well. Out of the corner of his eye, he notices that she is checking him out. Finally, they make eye contact and with a curious look on her face she asks, "What is that bulge in your pants?" "Tennis ball," he replied. "Oh my gosh, that has GOT to hurt" she said "I had tennis elbow once."
There was this one bike trail I took and I swear, at every turn it tried to kill me.
I hope I never see that crazy cycle path ever again.
My trailer park party went off without a hitch
No one showed up
What's the difference between buttered bread and bread with margarine?
One's a buttery trail while the other one's utter betrayal.
I left a trail of rose petals from the front door, up the stairs, and to the bedroom.
I sprinkled some more over the bed.
I sat in the corner wearing nothing but her beautiful silk robe with a bottle of vintage wine on ice on the end table.
I heard the door open and her walking up the stairs, I wanted this to be the most romantic evening she's ever had, I was slightly nervous.
Now all I need is the perfect line to introduce myself.
If you see a trail of clothes leading to the bedroom, you know what that means...
I dropped them trying to carry all my laundry in one load
I was by my friends side when he died on a trail in the woods. With his last ounce of strength he reached out and put the necklace he wore everywhere in my hands. The look on his face was desperate and serious, he really wanted me to have it...
And that's why I wear this epipen around my neck.
Two old men are sitting around telling stories...
Did I ever tell you about my run-in with a grizzly bear?
If you did, I don't remember
Well, I was walking along this trail when out of nowhere a grizzly bear jumped out at me! RAWRRRRRRR!
Oh my god! What happened?
I crapped my pants
Well, that's understandable. That sounds horrifying
No! Just now, when I went 'RAWRRRR!' I crapped my pants
You meet a man on the Oregon Trail. He tells you his name is Terry. Terry?! you say laughing, Terry's a girls name! Without any hesitation, Terry pulls out a gun and shoots you dead.
You have died of dissin' Terry :(
