Tragic Jokes
85 tragic jokes and hilarious tragic puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about tragic that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Funniest Tragic Short Jokes
Short tragic jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The tragic humour may include short tragedy jokes also.
- Did you ever hear about the Lucky Charms leprechaun's evil twin? He was tragically malicious.
- Bears think if you're lying down motionless, you're dead. So everyday, the first bear to wake up thinks its entire family is dead. Tragic..
- I lost a good friend and long time drinking buddy a few days ago in a tragic accident he got his finger caught in a wedding ring
- In a tragic accident, the circus' human cannonball was killed today. When asked if he will find a replacement, the Ringmaster responded, "Where will I ever find another man of his caliber?"
- 264 students died in a school fire... in Beijing earlier today. The most tragic thing was they all got out safely, ran around the building, and then ran back inside.
- Police have confirmed that the man who tragically fell from the roof of an 18th floor Nightclub... He was not a bouncer.
- I tragically lost my body in an accident, from the neck down I had grand plans for my life, but I should probably quit while I'm a head
- What is the most tragic olympics story ? A gymnast walks into a bar.
P.s. Pls dont kill me - A bunch of us in a car just ran over a clown... ... tragic sure but soon we can look back and laugh.
- The world tongue twister champion was killed today in a tragic accident. He was run over by a red lorry. Then a yellow lorry, then a red lorry, then a yellow lorry
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Tragic One Liners
Which tragic one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with tragic? I can suggest the ones about heartbreaking and dramatic.
- A man died in a tragic skydiving accident. Some say he left an impact on the world.
- My friend had a tragic accident. He got his finger stuck in a wedding ring.
- My dad was an illiterate pirate Tragically, he was lost at C.
- Did you hear the tragic story about the man who sat in food coloring? He dyes in the end.
- There was a tragic fire at a Nike factory recently... 800 soles were lost.
- Tragic: In the world every 60 seconds... ...One minute passes.
- What tragic fruit resembles Romeo and Juliet? Cantaloupe
- Tragic sewing accident kills woman and three children... Whoops, wrong thread.
- Which disease is most tragic for a mime? Gesticular cancer.
- What's the most tragic case of flightless bird? Joaquin Phoenix.
- In a tragic mix up at birth... the doctor removed my foresight.
- If next to all things tragic sat comedy ... Then next to all things political sat ire.
- A tragic haiku hipsters panicking
need a new pretentious food
quinoa's too mainstream - What triggered the feminist when she was changing a lightbulb? The switch, tragically.
- When Bruce's parents were tragically shot, who taught him how to love? Lil' Wayne
Howlingly Hilarious Tragic Jokes for an Unforgettable Evening
What funny jokes about tragic you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean devastating jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make tragic pranks.
Italian cruise ship captain caught fleeing
The Italian captain of the tragic cruise ship incident was caught at customs trying leave the country. He disguised himself as an Italian women dressed in high heels, a red polkadot dress complete with a wig and red liptick. He was busted because he forgot to add the mustache!!
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I'm immortal
Have you ever noticed that it's only 'perfect' people who are murdered or killed in horrific accidents?
"He was the perfect son" or "She was the perfect daughter."
"Such a tragic accident they were the perfect family."
"They died together, the perfect couple till the end."
Makes me glad I a**... my kids and beat up my wife.
Kind of makes me immortal.
Read the punchline out loud. I first heard this in high school, not sure how well it translates to print.
Poor Tom.
When he was seven, he lost his left eye in a tragic accident. Being from a poor family, the only replacement they could afford was a wooden eye.
When he was seventeen, three weeks before the prom, he was still dateless. He decided to work up the courage to ask someone, but he knew he has limits. He set his eye of Amy, a girl in his class, who spoke with a lisp.
He walked up to her at lunch, while she was surrounded by her friends, and he managed to stammer out a quiet "willyougotothepromwithme?"
"Whath that? I can't hear what you're thaying."
"Will you go to the prom? With me?" he answered, a little louder.
Amy smiled. She never thought anyone would ask her!
"Go with you? Would I? Would I?"
"LISP LISP LISP!"
Bob died...
Harry, Jim and Bob are all building a huge skyscraper. They're sat on one of the high up girders, when Bob has a tragic accident and falls to his death. When Jim and Harry get back down to ground level, they try to decide who should tell Bobs wife. Then Jim has an idea.
"How about, we just do rock, paper, scissors, and whoever loses tells his wife?"
Harry agrees, and loses the game. An hour later, Harry comes back to the building site with a 6 pack of beer beneath his arm.
"How'd you get that" Jim asks, bewildered.
"Bobs wife gave them to me!" Harry replies.
"Why?"
"Well I thought it was best to just tell her it straight. I knocked on the door and said, Mrs. Geldof, I'm afraid you're a widow. She said she wasn't, so I said, care to bet me a six pack?"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
There was a cruise ship that ended up sinking just off the coast of a small deserted island.....
There where only 3 survivors: 2 guys and a girl. They lived there for a couple of years doing what was natural for men and women.
After several years of casual s**... all the time, the girl felt really bad about what she had been doing. She felt having s**... with both guys was so bad that she killed herself.
It was very tragic but the two guys managed to get through it and after a while nature once more took it's inevitable course.
Well, a couple more years went by and the guys began to feel absolutely horrible about what they were doing. So...
They buried her.
I believe in the Zodiac
I'm a Pisces, by far my favorite type of fairy. Something a bit tragic, my grandmother was a Cancer, and she was actually killed by a giant tumor.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Did you hear about the l**... whose wife died in a tragic car accident?
He fell to pieces.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
The Woman in a Coma
A woman has been on a coma for almost 3 years following a tragic accident. Her husband couldn't let go so he decided to just keep her on life support. One day, as the nurse on duty was giving her a bed bath, she noticed a slight response from the monitors hooked onto the woman everytime she wipes her privates. She immediately informed the attending physician who in turn called the husband. When the husband arrived the doctor told him that there may still be hope, and o**... s**... might revive his wife. The doctor led the husband to his wife's room and left him to do the job in private. After 20 minutes the alarms sounded and the doctor and the nurses quickly rushed into the woman's room. What they found was a flat line, her husband zipping up his pants saying:"I think she choked.."
Did you guys hear about the Italian Chef that died recently?
>He pasta way.
>>We cannoli do so much.
>>>His legacy will become a pizza history.
>>>>Here today, gone tomato.
>>>>>How sad that he ran out of thyme.
>>>>>>Sending olive my prayers to the family.
>>>>>>>His wife is really upset. Cheese still not over it.
>>>>>>>>You never sausage a tragic thing.
>>>>>>>>>I hope he wasn't Alfredo the end.
>>>>>>>>>>Did he die on the job? His family might be entitled to some compennesation.
>>>>>>>>>>>I doubt he'll see a penne of it.
Tragic reports as customers find themselves trapped inside a burning Apple store
There were no windows.
10 dead in cowboys stadium
10 people were found dead in cowboys stadium after an f5 tornado swept through on Sunday. Witnesses say the group felt assured there could be no touchdowns in that building.
The most tragic news from this story is that they would have been safe had they chosen not to stand in the away teams endzone.
9/11 would have been more tragic 2 months earlier...
I could never have a Slurpee ever again.
Did you hear about the casino croupier whose hand, through a tragic accident, was reduced to a stub?
Don't worry, he's dealing with it.
Local Drowning
A hippie drowned at the local beach last night. When asked why the free spirit was unable to be save before his tragic death, a lifeguard commented "He was too far out, man."
A boy's dad died in a tragic accident
Boy is sitting in his room crying his eyes out and weeps to himself
-I'm so devastated...
Then an otherworldly ghostly voice replies
-Hi devastated, I'm dead
"Coming up on tonight's news, hear about the tragic case of 10 people who lost their lives trying to escape a fire at the nightclub everyone's been dying to get into."
*Disclaimer: No pun in ten dead.
So I wrote a Musical
It was about a tragic coal mining operation ,unfortunately, the cave collapsed and the workers inside were killed.
I decided to write it in A flat minor.
Why was 6 afraid of 7?
Because 8 and 9 died a horrible and tragic death, and 7 is the prime suspect.
Did you hear about that tragic Spanish insurance scam?
There were tons of Sevilian casualties
Diana Ross' husband has died in a tragic mountain climbing accident.
Apparently there was a mountain high enough.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Went to my old tennis coach's f**... last week.
His death was tragic but the service was lovely.
Did you know that the number of legs in the air of a horse statue indicate how its rider died?
If there are no legs in the air, the rider survived the war.
If there is one leg in the air, the rider was mortally wounded and died after a battle.
If there are two legs in the air, the rider was killed in battle.
If there are three legs in the air, the rider died in a tragic circus accident.
If there are four legs in the air, the rider was abducted by aliens and died in space.
After a tragic fire in a Catholic school, three young ladies arrived in Heaven
They were met by St. Peter, who told them that all each
of them had to do to be admitted beyond the pearly gates was to answer a question about the Bible.
The first young woman faced St. Peter "What," he asked, "was the name of the first man?"
"Adam" she answered, and was admitted.
The second young woman approached St Peter. "What," he asked," was the name the first woman?"
"Eve," she said, and the gates swung wide for her.
The third young woman approached St. Peter. "What," he asked, "was the first thing Eve said to Adam?"
The young woman wrung her hands.
"Gee sir, that's hard."
St. Peter stepped aside and admitted her.
Did you hear about the Italian chef who died?
He pasta way.
I never sausage a tragic thing.
He is now a pizza history.
Sending olive my support to his family.
We cannoli do so much though.
I feel for his wife. Cheese still not over it.
I guess he just ran out of thyme.
Mary Pennington, the oldest survivor of the Titanic, died this week at the age of 106.
Sad in any case, but what really made it tragic is that she was only a quarter mile from shore.
The world's fattest woman died today after a tragic skydiving accident.
Her family say she'll leave a huge hole.
Did you hear about the school that burned down in Beijing, China?
25 children died. It was truly tragic.
And the worst part is, they all got out of the building fine, but they just ran around it and then darted back inside.
After hearing about how her son was involved in a tragic accident, the mother rushes to the hospital
There she sees her son lying in a coma in bed with a doctor watching over him.
Completely disheartened, she asks the doctor:
"What state is my son in?"
To which the doctor replies:
"Err, Oregon?"
A teenager and his friend are sitting together, playing a game
The teenager asked his friend, "why do people type 'f' whenever something tragic happens on the internet?" His friend says, "people sometimes press 'f' to show respect." The teenager says, "well then, f you." His friend smiles and says, "f you too, man."
The greatest works of any painter are inspired by the most tragic events of their life
That's why they call them *pain*tings
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Beer battered fish is just so tragic.
That's alcohol a**...!
I accidentally ran over my neighbor's cat the other day.
So, immediately, I went and knocked on her door, and I said, "I'm terribly sorry, ma'am; I think I've killed your cat. To make amends for this tragic mistake, I'll replace him if you'd like."
She said, "That's very noble of you, but how are you at catching mice?"
My friend asked if I wanted to see something tragic.
I told her it's OK and that I have a mirror at home.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What do you call a bunch of nerds at a f**...?
Tragic the Gathering
The earthquake in Japan brought back a lot of tragic memories for everyone....
Like that time your mama fell over
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What did the man say to his brother?
Nothing, because he just died in a tragic car c**....
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
My death will be tragic, I already know. No seriously, not a single person will be happy. Mostly because...
I am not an o**... donor.
They're taking Baby It's Cold Outside off off of the radio for being offensive?
But I can't help to think about all those poor children that lost their grandmothers in tragic reindeer accidents.
Sorry it's a 9/11 joke but I thought it was funny.
Why was the 9/11 attack so tragic? Because they ordered a peperoni pizza, but they got a plane instead.
Just heard a man was shot 200 times with an upholstery gun - Tragic!
It's ok, the Surgeon said he is fully recovered..
I conducted a COVID-19 survey by checking in on all the tinder matches I accumulated over the years.
Although my sample size may be insufficient, the results of the survey are devastating and tragic.
May they all rest in peace.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
So sad to hear about Ghislaine Maxwell's tragic s**... ...
Oh wait, that's tomorrow, right?
A friend of mine had a tragic accident last year and lost the entire left side of his body
It's okay tho, he's all right now
A Tragic Story...
Every loaf of bread is a tragic story of a bushel of grains that could have become whiskey, but didn't.
In tragic news, Donald Trump's personal library has burned down
Now he will never find out if the caterpillar ever got a good meal
England cricket team visited an orphanage in Chennai today
It is so tragic and heartbreaking to see their little faces with no hope! I wish we could do something to help them!
Said 6 year old Venkatswamy after the crushing defeat of English cricket team
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
m**... Jagger and Keith Richards were cruising down the coast.
Coming around a bend they saw a magnificent bald eagle in the middle of the road. When m**... swerved to miss it he lost control of the car and they plummeted off a cliff to their death.
A tragic case of killing two Stones with one bird.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Mother in law and stairs
Two old friends meet each other after a long time:
A: Oh hey, what's new?
B: Nothing much, my mother in law died.
A: Oh really, d**..., how?
B: She went downstairs to the basement to get some potatoes for lunch, fell and broke her neck.
A: That's tragic, what did you do then?
B: We ordered pizza.
A woman announces to her friend that she is getting married for the fourth time
"How wonderful! I hope you don't mind me asking, but what happened to your first husband?"
"He ate poisonous mushrooms and died."
"Oh, how tragic! What about your second husband?"
"He ate poisonous mushrooms too, and died."
"Oh, how terrible!
I'm almost afraid to ask you about your third husband."
"He died of a broken neck."
"A broken neck?"
"He wouldn't eat the mushrooms."
I had a cousin called Marco. Tragic story. He got lost in a crowded shopping mall. My aunt called and called for him
but of course she hadn't a hope of hearing him calling back.
