Traffic Accidents Jokes
20 traffic accidents jokes and hilarious traffic accidents puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about traffic accidents that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Funniest Traffic Accidents Short Jokes
Short traffic accidents jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The traffic accidents humour may include short car accidents jokes also.
- I asked my wife what she wanted for Valentine's Day and she said 'treat me like a princess!' I'm having her killed in a traffic accident in Paris.
- BREAKING NEWS The inventor of predictive text was injured in a traffic accident.
He's been bacon by ambience to the horse piddle. - 90% of all traffic accidents are due to men. Do you know why? Because they gave their wife the car key.
- A small traffic accident occurs at a busy intersection in Hong Kong. l guess two Wongs don't make a right
- TIL the musical group Ace of Base was killed in a horrific traffic accident after they missed their exit on the highway and crashed... Police later said, "they didn't see the sign..."
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Traffic Accidents One Liners
Which traffic accidents one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with traffic accidents? I can suggest the ones about car crash and car collision.
- 20 years ago my parents had a traffic accident... and that was the day I was born
- Did you hear about the librarian who was in a traffic accident? He was hit by an omnibus.
- What do you call a group of Rhode Islanders? A traffic accident.
- A traffic jam is like a bad marriage... ...you're stuck in it because of an accident.
The Funniest Traffic Accidents Jokes for a Bone-Shaking Laugh
What funny jokes about traffic accidents you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean traffic jam jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make traffic accidents pranks.
A joke I've picked up from working in Higher Education.
At a small university there is the director of the Sociology program, the director of the Religious Studies program, the director of the Anthropology program and the university president. All four of them are heading to a conference in the next town over. The directors all decide to carpool, and the president is driving his Porsche behind them. On the way to the conference the directors loose control of their vehicle and c**... into oncoming traffic. It's a horrific accident. The university president manages to stop his car, gets out, witnesses the accident and exclaims...
"Oh the Humanities!"
A couple who were making wedding preparations die in a traffic accident.
When they arrive at heaven, the man finds an angel and explains the situation, asking if they could arrange a wedding in heaven or not.
-Let me have a look, the angel says.
After a few months, it comes back to the couple and tells them:
-Everything's set, you guys can marry.
The bride asks:
-What if we cannot get along and want to divorce, can you arrange that too?
The angel roars in rage:
-IT TOOK ME 4 MONTHS TO FIND A PRIEST IN HERE, HOW MANY MORE DO I NEED TO FIND A LAWYER DO YOU THINK?
A nurse, who works in the ER, arrives for her shift
she spots a little boy, who is sitting in the hallway, crying his eyes out.
She asks him: "What happend? Can I help you?"
Boy: "My mother just died from a traffic accident."
Nurse: " Iam so sorry, shall I get you a priest?"
Boy: "No, thank you, Iam not in the mood for s**...."
Tom lost a foot in a traffic accident.
Years later, he fell in love with Mary. Tom didn't tell Mary his disability, worrying that she might leave him.
Tom loved Mary so much that he proposed to her and she said yes.
The next day after the wedding, Mary called her mother angrily : " My husband has only one foot "
Her mother calmly replied :" Your father has only 6 inches ."
There were two Qanon believers who were absolutely convinced that Trump won the 2020 election
They were traveling together and were killed in a traffic accident. When they got to heaven, God met them and told them that he'd reveal anything about Earthly life they'd always wanted to know. They asked him how Biden stole the 2020 election. God looked kindly upon them and said, Biden didn't steal the 2020 election. He won fairly.
The first one looked at the second and said, This goes higher than we thought!
Traffic accidents
A Frenchman and an Englishman are talking at a bar:
Frenchman: "Did you hear, in France they lowered the the amount of alcohol you can drink before driving. But now car accidents have significantly increased"
Englishman: " Wow, how can that be?"
Frenchman: " Well its because if a man drinks wine with a meal at a restaurant, his wife has to drive him home"
Lawyer joke
A local United Way office realized that the organization had never received a donation from the town's most successful lawyer. The person in charge of contributions called him to persuade him to contribute.
"Our research shows that out of a yearly income of at least $500,000, you give not a penny to charity. Wouldn't you like to give back to the community in some way?"
The lawyer mulled this over for a moment and replied, "First, did your research also show that my mother is dying after a long illness, and has medical bills that are several times her annual income?"
Embarrassed, the United Way rep mumbled, "Um ... no."
The lawyer interrupts, "or that my brother, a disabled veteran, is blind and confined to a wheelchair?"
The stricken United Way rep began to stammer out an apology, but was interrupted again.
"or that my sister's husband died in a traffic accident," the lawyer's voice rising in indignation, "leaving her penniless with three children?!"
The humiliated United Way rep, completely beaten, said simply, "I had no idea..."
On a roll, the lawyer cut him off once again, "So if I don't give any money to them, why should I give any to you?"