Tradition Jokes
81 tradition jokes and hilarious tradition puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about tradition that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Funniest Tradition Short Jokes
Short tradition jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The tradition humour may include short religion jokes also.
- The show COPS has been dropped from broadcast honoring the longstanding tradition of police turning off their cameras.
- The show "COPS" is no longer filmed honoring the longstanding tradition of police turning off their cameras
- A shout out to Jussie Smollette On hiring black actors for what has been a traditionally white role.
- My girlfriend got a boob job, but I don't know how to break it to her that I find it makes her less attractive Traditionally women tend to get both done
- Modern technology has never matched the simplicity and grace of the traditional pen. In fact, you could say that there is still no e-quill.
- Gay Marriage Licenses So, 22 counties in Alabama are refusing to issue gay marriage licenses on the grounds that they believe in the traditional marriage of a man and his sister.
- Robert Khardasian was OJ Simpson's lawyer And thus began the family tradition of getting black men off.
- An Asian woman brings her large Irish boyfriend to meet her traditional parents Her mother says:
"You bring great Shamus to this family." - Trump, Pence, Bannon, Sessions, Pompeo, Flynn, Priebus, Tillerson. Not sure Trump knows this but traditionally, you only need 4 horsemen.
- I was forcibly held underwater, made to consume human flesh, and drank human blood all before puberty. man Christianity has some weird traditions.
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Tradition One Liners
Which tradition one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with tradition? I can suggest the ones about heritage and old fashioned.
- Traditionally, orthopedic surgeons were strong and dumb. But now they have power tools.
- I heard Lincoln is doing well in theaters Traditionally, this has not been true.
- Why do melons always have traditional weddings? Because they cantaloupe
- Why were the melons forced into a traditional marriage? Because they canteloupe
- My auntie has a traditional remedy for Tourette's. She swears by it.
- Le Pen honored an age old French tradition. Losing.
- This is traditional food in my country! "But Abdul, this plate is empty."
"__I know!__" - Why was the tea so obstinate? Because it was steeped in tradition.
- What's the name of a traditional Ethiopian dish? "The Empty Bowl"
- Why are cornfield mazes part of our Halloween tradition? They are exceptionally ear-ie.
- Nice to see America keeping its tradition Of launching a coup in a third world country.
- My girlfriend wanted a traditional wedding; Guess I didn't offer her father enough goats.
- I once went to a Japanese Tea ceremony... It was steeped in tradition.
- Trump says he believes in traditional marriages He has had 3 of them so far
- There's only one Japanese tradition that Logan Paul should explore. Seppuku.
Christmas Tradition Jokes
Here is a list of funny christmas tradition jokes and even better christmas tradition puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- So last year I started a tradition, I carry a pebble and throw it at anyone who sings Christmas songs before December.... I call it my Jingle Bell Rock.
- I made a traditional German dessert for this years' Christmas dinner. Unfortunately, it was stollen.
- We are thinking about making chili for Christmas Eve. We're starting a new tradition called 'silent but deadly night'.
- Christmas traditions Guy 1: hey what are you going to do on the Christmas holidays?
Guy2: family dinner, you?
Guy2 1: the same... Gets less every year... - My daughter wants a pony for Christmas I think a traditional turkey would taste better but it's her choice.
- Traditionally, we always have a family christmas jumper... ...It's always my job to talk him down :/
- I'm so disappointed. I bought dessert for a traditional German Christmas dinner. But it was stollen.
- Why are tamales a Christmas tradition? So Mexicans have something to open on Christmas
Amusing Tradition Jokes to Make You Laugh with Friends
What funny jokes about tradition you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean convention jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make tradition pranks.
The year is 2192. The British Prime Minister visits Brussels to ask for an extension of the Brexit deadline.
No one remembers where this tradition originated, but every year it attracts many tourists from all over the world.
Wishes
A woman was walking on the beach when she spotted a lamp almost buried in the sand. She picked it up, dusted it off, and to her surprise a genie popped out.
"Thank you for releasing me from my thousand-year imprisonment! I will grant you the traditional three wishes as a reward. And since you are married, your husband will get double of whatever you wish for."
"But I hate my husband," the woman protested. "He cheated on me and spent all our money -- I've already filed for divorce."
The genie shrugged and told her it was genie law. "OK, whatever," she said, "Give me a hundred million dollars." *p**...!* There were stacks and stacks of newly minted $100 bills piled in front of her. "So, does that mean my husband has *two* hundred million now?"
"Yep," the genie said.
"OK... for my second wish, I want a 100,000 square foot mansion." *p**...!* There was a huge mansion right up on the bluff, and the deed was in her pocket. "So, does that mean my husband gets *two* mansions?"
"Yes indeed. Now, what would you like for your final wish?"
She thought about it for a minute, then snapped her fingers and said, "Genie -- scare me half to death!"
At my school, the cafeteria has "World Cuisine" day once a week, in which one foreign nation's traditional cuisine is on the menu. Last week, the country was Ethiopia...
...they served us nothing.
There's an old Italian man
There's an old Italian man, and every year, he and his son plant a tomato garden together. This particular year, however, the son is in jail, and so the old man writes him a letter.
"My son, it is regrettable that you can't be here to plant the tomato garden with me this year. The soil is too hard for me to dig myself. I look forward to the day you come home so we can continue this tradition together."
The son writes back, "Father, don't dig up the tomato garden, that's where the bodies are buried."
That night around 2 AM, the police show up at the old man's house with a warrant to search the ground for bodies. After several hours of digging around, they find nothing, apologize to the man, and go on their way.
The next day, the man receives another letter from his son, "Father, given the circumstances, this was the best I could do. You should be able to plant the tomatoes now."
A Foot And A Half
Maria had just got married and being a traditional Italian, she was still a v**.... So, on her wedding night, staying at her mother's house, she was nervous. But her mother reassured her. Don't worry, Maria. Tony's a good man. Go upstairs and he'll take care of you.
So up she went. When she got upstairs, Tony took off his shirt and exposed his hairy chest. Maria ran downstairs to her mother and says, Mama, Mama, Tony's got a big hairy chest.
Don't worry, Maria, says the mother, all good men have hairy chests. Go upstairs. He'll take good care of you.
So, up she went again. When she got up in the bedroom, Tony took off his pants exposing his hairy legs. Again, Maria ran downstairs to her mother. Mama, Mama, Tony took off his pants and he's got hairy legs!
Don't worry. All good men have hairy legs. Tony's a good man. Go upstairs and he'll take good care of you.
So up she went again. When she got up there, Tony took off his socks and on his left foot he was missing three toes. When Maria saw this, she ran downstairs. Mama, Mama, Tony's got a foot and a half!
Stay here and stir the pasta, says the mother.
This is a job for Mama.
There were 3 Chinese men...
Han, Chan and Fan were planning on migrating to the USA.
They all wanted to assimilate as quickly as possible, so they decided to adopt more traditional American sounding names.
Han decided that he would be Huck.
Chan decided that he would be Chuck.
And Fan...well Fan decided that he`d stay in China.
A man walks into a bar with a pork pie on his head.
The barman asks, "Why are you wearing a pork pie on your head?"
The man replies, "It's a family tradition. We always wear pork pies on our heads on Tuesday."
The barman remarks, "But it's Wednesday."
Sheepishly, the man says, "Man, I must look like a real fool."
Doctor joke
Two doctors mortally offend each other and resolve to fight a duel. But they have no clue about the traditional dueling weapons -- swords, pistols, etc. After some thought, they decide to use the most deadly weapon of which each is an undoubted expert: They exchange prescriptions.
Three men shipwreck on an island known for cannibals.
As they wander the jungle they are captured by these cannibals and put in a cage. The biggest and ugliest cannibal approaches the cage and says
"Now we're fun loving cannibals and we like to play games. We'll give you a chance to escape for our amusement, with one item of your choice. If you get to the beach, then you'll be taken back to society. If you fail we shall kill you, skin you, eat you, and turn you into a canoe. Good luck."
The first man wants to go the traditional route and chooses a gun. As he runs to the beach, he runs out of ammo and the cannibals catch him, skin him, eat him, and turn him into a canoe.
The second man asks for a horse. They begrudgingly give him their only horse, and he rides towards the beach, but the cannibals spear him off the horse and skin him, eat him, and turn him into a canoe.
The third man asks for a fork. The cannibals give him a funny look and fetch him a fork. The man begins to stab himself all over. The cannibals ask him why he's making their job easier and he yells
"Try and make a canoe out of me now!"
A traditional Indian woman walks into a bar for the first time...
She sits down between two men.
She hears the first man says to the bartender "Johnny Walker, single."
Then second man says to the bartender "Jack Daniels, single."
The bartender turns to the Indian woman... She says "Pushpaben Patel, Married."
I want to handle the topic of traditional homosexual polygamy
Just like my four fathers did
TIL that for release in Finland, the original Mortal Kombat had to be censored in an unusual way. Censors were fine with the gore, but insisted the music be replaced with traditional Christian songs.
FINNISH HYMN!!!
Man walks into a bar and orders 4 beers.
Drinks them, and leaves.
Next week same time does the same thing: orders 4 beers, drinks them, and leaves.
The third week; same thing. The bartender is curious so he asks. "well, I moved here few weeks ago. Back home my 3 brothers and I met every Thursday after work for a beer. Since I was feeling homesick I figured I would keep up the tradition even if I had to do it alone."
This goes on for several weeks until one week the man comes in and orders three beers and a coke. Bartender says, "I hate to pry but what happened? Did one of your brothers pass away?"
The man chuckles and says, "No nothing like that. I decided to quit drinking."
A traditional Iranian joke
A man has a very bad case of worms so he goes to very famous doctor. the doctor assesses his case and says go to the market buy the biggest juicy watermelon you can find, cut off one end drop your pants and sit on it. The worms will go into it and leave your body. So the guy does just that and when he sits down the king worm comes out tastes the watermelon and says " bring it in boys"!
We're having a traditional thanksgiving this year.
We're going to invite the neighbors to dinner, m**... them, and take their land.
Looking forward to my traditional 7-course Irish Thanksgiving meal
A six pack and a potato
A man goes to jail.
A man was sentenced to death. By tradition, the man can request one last meal
"So what will it Be?" the executioner asked
"Instead of food, can I request to sing one last song? But you must let me finish the song"
Confused by this, the executioner agreed to let the man sing
The man begins "1,000,000 bottles of beer on the wall..."
I noticed that youtube video thumbnails now play an animated gif when you hover over them.
When i noticed this, i was laying in bed with my conservative, traditional girlfriend, but without thinking, i say out-loud, "Oh, youtube finally caught up to pornhub with that awesome feature."
My girlfriend: What?
Me: What?
Jewish man calls his mom. "Mama, I have good news and bad news..."
Mother, ever the optimist: "Give me the bad news."
Man: "I can't live a lie anymore. I'm gay."
Mother, a traditional conservative woman, after the wailing and the gnashing of teeth that was expected of her by her son, regains her composure and asks: "Well, what's the good news?"
Man: "So I met this nice Jewish doctor..."
The Inca people were one of the few who ever mastered hunting with owls, much like traditional falconry.
Legend says they learned calls to communicate with the intelligent birds, even to the point of planning attack strategies ahead of time.
And that's where we get the term Inca-hoots.
There was a guy who was terrible at naming thing ...
His dog was named dog, his cat was named cat and so on. One day, the man's sister was having twins and in a long family tradition, the babies uncle had to chose the names. Absolutely mortified, the twin girl and boy were born and it was time;
What did you choose for the girl?
Denise
Oh man, that's not so bad. What did you choose for the boy?
Denephew
High aunt
My family have a tradition of placing bets on how high they can hoist my mother's sister. I keep telling them to stop as it will end in disaster but they just keep upping the ante each year...
Sorry
The Mayor's meal
In Spain, there is a tradition after a bullfight to serve the mayor the bull's t**....
One day after a bullfight, the mayor asks the waiter: Funny, why are they so small today?
The waiter: Today, sir, the bull won.
A Jewish man on his deathbed is talking to his daughter.
The man smells noodle kugel (a traditional Jewish food) coming from the kitchen downstairs and reminds his daughter that it's his favorite food. He asks her to go get him some for his last meal- he knows he will die very soon. The man's daughter goes downstairs, and comes back with no kugel. The man asks why she didn't bring any. The daughter says:
Mom said it's for after.
A potato dad is talking to his potato daughters about who they want to marry.
The first daughter says, "Dad, I want to marry a Yukon Gold!" The dad replies "Honey, that's a great idea. Yukon Golds are renowned for their versatility and will make you very happy.
The second daughter says, "Dad, I want to marry a russet." Dad approves of this choice too, since russet potatoes are well-known for being good, traditional potatoes.
The third daughter then says "Dad, I want to marry Bill Maher!" Dad is flabbergasted, and exclaims, "But honey! He's just a common-tater!"
A guy falls in love with a very traditional and conservative girl...
…that means no s**... before marriage. But he does not care, he loves her. After a year of dating he decides its time to propose to her. So he heads to her father's house to ask for his blessing.
‟Hello, sir, I am here to ask for your daughter's hand
A bit skeptical and looking to see if he really does love her, the father asks ‟And why is that?
The guy lets out a long drawn out sigh… ‟Well, its just that mine have gotten tired.
Our clan has a tradition of naming our children after deceased family members.
We named our son "Grandpa."
The Scotsman
A Scotsman was walking down the street in his traditional Scottish attire when he saw a couple of women talking and giggling,
As he approached one of the women asked " is it true the you dont wear anything under your kilt?"
"Aye, why dont you have a peek and find out for yourself"
So the woman lifted his kilt just enough to see his "business" and said "oh thats gruesome"
The Scotsman replied "I think if you'll check again, you'll see its grew some more"
First post, heard this in a song recently, got a good chuckle from it personally
I think it helps to read with a Scottish accent
What's the traditional greeting among p**...-accountants?
Tally h**...!
Made some Indian food for dinner the other night. While telling my wife what was in it, I said I'd used butter in one part, but wished I'd had some ghee instead. She looked at me quizzically, and I continued "Because it's more traditionally Indian."
"Ah," she replied. "Thanks for clarifying."
Note: this actually happened! She's a gem and I'm keeping her.
A c**... joke I thought up.
What do you get if you purchase a quad pack of traditional mature Japanese wine?
Four old times sake.
Traditional joke from my childhood... I am the first person to translate this to English LoL
There was a young boy that always struggled to cross the road, every time he tried to cross the road he got hit by a car...
One time he was crossing the road and he made it to the other side!
He jumped for joy!
...He got hit by a plane midair.
Traditional jokes from my childhood #3
A group of friends were hiking a mountain and were planning on having a picnic up there..
One of the friends stutters a lot on the starts of sentences... On the way up he kept saying "w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-" until they made it to the top of the mountain he was finally able to say "We forgot our food", everyone got mad and sad and started their way back down.
The joke doesn't end here... on the way down he kept saying "J-j-j-j-j-j-j-j-j-j..." until they made it to where they had parked their car he was finally able to say "Just kidding".
A close friend of a doctor, a dentist, and a lawyer dies
At the f**..., the doctor says to his two friends, Where I come from it is traditional to honor the deceased by placing money on him to take to the grave with his burial. So the other two agree to do this.
The doctor goes up to the coffin and after paying his last respects, places a $100 bill on the body. Next the dentist does the same thing.
Lastly, the lawyer goes up to the coffin, and after paying his last respect, picks up the two $100 bills and leaves a check for $300.
We all know that there's a divide in the lepidopterist community...
We all know that there's a divide in the lepidopterist community, and that traditionally most of the glamour goes to the entomologists who study the butterflies, because they're so pretty and colorful, rather than the brown and grey moths. So for 364 days a year, the butterflyers get all the glory. But today is the day when we recognize the contributions of those devoted lepidopterists who chose a less glamorous, but no less important, path. Happy mothers day.
You know, absinthe plays a huge part in the origin of what we now call bachelor parties.
It was a tradition for a man's friends to take him to an upscale bar just before his wedding and order him a glass or two of the ol' green fairy. If he truly loved his fiancee and was ready for the match, it was a fun night away from her with friends, celebrating his love. If he was having doubts, it would make him ill and give him a chance to reconsider. Most of the time though, records seem to show that no doubts were had, especially after drinking. After all, you know what they say. Absinthe makes the heart grow fonder.
Little Timmy and Little Mandy were playing together at the kindergarten.
Timmy says to Mandy, When we're older, let's get married!
Mandy turns to him and says, I'm sorry Timmy, I like you and all, but I'm not allowed to marry you.
Why not? asks Timmy.
Because in my family, we have a tradition of only marrying each other. It's gone back generations.
Timmy is stunned. You only marry within your family?
Mandy replies, Yeah. My mom with my dad, my grandpa with my grandma, my uncle with my aunt…
Kris came from a family where it's a tradition to take out their giant boulder and put it in front of their house every year for a few days
Most of their neighbors were fine with it, but some were bothered by it, including an individual named Smith who had a history of conflict with the family.
This year, he was thinking of hitting the boulder to simply show disrespect to the family, but he was still considering it.
The question remains, will Smith slap Kris' rock?
The Enterprise-D had just accomplished a major Starfleet mission, so the crew went to celebrate at Ten Forward. Captain Picard and Chief O'Brien were chosen to give the toasts.
First O'Brien gave his toast; "May you live as long as you want and not want for as long as you live."
Next Picard gave his toast; "Cinnamon, eggs, bread and maple syrup."
The bartender, Guinan, admired O'Brien's toast, but was absolutely confused by Picard's.
So O'Brien explained, "As you all know, I'm from Ireland, so I gave a traditional Irish toast."
And Picard explained, "And as you all know, I'm from France..."
