Traditional Wedding Jokes
15 traditional wedding jokes and hilarious traditional wedding puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about traditional wedding that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Funniest Traditional Wedding Short Jokes
Short traditional wedding jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The traditional wedding humour may include short traditional marriage jokes also.
- Did you hear about the two melons who are being pressured by their parents into having a traditional wedding? They cantaloupe
- How can you tell you're at a traditional Arkansas wedding? No one has to tell the bride welcome to the family .
- I went to an extremely traditional cannibal wedding this weekend It was an edible arrangement.
- What is the traditional thing a Welsh bride says at the question "Do you want to take this man to be your lawfully wedded husband" Baaaaaaa
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Traditional Wedding One Liners
Which traditional wedding one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with traditional wedding? I can suggest the ones about wedding ceremony and wedding.
- My girlfriend wanted a traditional wedding; Guess I didn't offer her father enough goats.
- What candy is traditionally served at a Jewish wedding. Mazel toffee.
- Why did the apple and the orange have a traditional wedding? Because they cantaloupe
Traditional Wedding Funny Jokes And Hilarious Puns.
What funny jokes about traditional wedding you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean groom wedding jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make traditional wedding pranks.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A Foot And A Half
Maria had just got married and being a traditional Italian, she was still a v**.... So, on her wedding night, staying at her mother's house, she was nervous. But her mother reassured her. Don't worry, Maria. Tony's a good man. Go upstairs and he'll take care of you.
So up she went. When she got upstairs, Tony took off his shirt and exposed his hairy chest. Maria ran downstairs to her mother and says, Mama, Mama, Tony's got a big hairy chest.
Don't worry, Maria, says the mother, all good men have hairy chests. Go upstairs. He'll take good care of you.
So, up she went again. When she got up in the bedroom, Tony took off his pants exposing his hairy legs. Again, Maria ran downstairs to her mother. Mama, Mama, Tony took off his pants and he's got hairy legs!
Don't worry. All good men have hairy legs. Tony's a good man. Go upstairs and he'll take good care of you.
So up she went again. When she got up there, Tony took off his socks and on his left foot he was missing three toes. When Maria saw this, she ran downstairs. Mama, Mama, Tony's got a foot and a half!
Stay here and stir the pasta, says the mother.
This is a job for Mama.
You know, absinthe plays a huge part in the origin of what we now call bachelor parties.
It was a tradition for a man's friends to take him to an upscale bar just before his wedding and order him a glass or two of the ol' green fairy. If he truly loved his fiancee and was ready for the match, it was a fun night away from her with friends, celebrating his love. If he was having doubts, it would make him ill and give him a chance to reconsider. Most of the time though, records seem to show that no doubts were had, especially after drinking. After all, you know what they say. Absinthe makes the heart grow fonder.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I just found out that the traditional 15th wedding anniversary gift is crystal.
My wife going to be so surprised to have a t**... with my mistress!
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A young woman marries an old man for his money, and they go on their honeymoon.
They're both sort of traditional, so they haven't had s**... (with each other) before the wedding. They get to their hotel room, and get ready to have s**... for the first time. The man drops his pants and his wife says "ugh, what ugly knees you have!" The man defends himself, saying "When I was 11, I had kneesels". He then removes his socks, and his wife says "Your toes look god-awful!" The man responds "When I was 13, I had tolio". He then pulls off his underpants, and his wife says "Don't tell me- when you were 15, you had smallcox."
As is tradition in Italian families, Marol spends her wedding night in her family home.
Her mother sleeps in the adjacent room in case Marol has any questions.
Mama tells Marol, "You have any a problem, you come and see Mama."
Later, Marol's husband unbuttons his shirt, and Marol jumps up, runs next door and cries, "Mama, Mama! He has hair all over his chest!"
Mama reassures Marol, "Men have hair on the chest. This is sign of a good man. Go now and make him happy."
But when Marol's husband takes off his belt, she goes jumps up again, runs next door and cries, "Mama, Mama! He has a protrusion in his pants!"
Mama reassures her, "He finds you beautiful. This is sign of a good man. Go now and make him happy."
Finally, Marol's husband takes off his shoes. Due to a terrible childhood accident, he only has half of his right foot. Marol jumps up and runs back to her mother's room, shouting, "Mama, Mama! He has a foot and a half!"
Her mother gets up and announces, "Stand back, Marol this is a job for Mama!"