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Traditional Marriage Jokes

8 traditional marriage jokes and hilarious traditional marriage puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about traditional marriage that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

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Traditional Marriage Funny Jokes to Tell Your Friends and Kids.

What is a good traditional marriage joke to make people laugh? Check out this list of funny stories that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth.

⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language

A guy falls in love with a very traditional and conservative girl...

…that means no s**... before marriage. But he does not care, he loves her. After a year of dating he decides its time to propose to her. So he heads to her father's house to ask for his blessing.
‟Hello, sir, I am here to ask for your daughter's hand
A bit skeptical and looking to see if he really does love her, the father asks ‟And why is that?
The guy lets out a long drawn out sigh… ‟Well, its just that mine have gotten tired.

Trump says he believes in traditional marriages

He has had 3 of them so far

Mormons believe traditional marriage is between a man and a woman

and another woman and another woman and another woman.

Why did the orange fleshed melon have to have a traditional marriage ceremony?

Obviously because it Cantelope.

⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language

A guy falls in love with a very traditional and conservative girl...

...that means no s**... before marriage. But he doesn't care, he loves her. After a year of dating he decides its time to propose to her. So he heads to her father's house to ask for his blessing.
"Hello, sir, I'm here to ask for your daughter's hand"
A bit skeptical and looking to see if he really does love her, the father asks "And why is that?"
The guy lets out a long drawn out sigh... "Well, its just that mine have gotten tired."

⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language

A guy falls in love with a very traditional girl..

A guy falls in love with a very traditional and conservative girl, that means no s**... before marriage. But he doesn't care, he loves her. After a year or two of dating he decides its time to propose. So he heads to her fathers house to ask his permission.
"Hello, sir, I'm here to ask for your daughter's hand"
A bit skeptical and looking to see if he really does love her, the father asks "And why is that?"
The guy lets out a long drawn out sigh... "Well, its just that mine have gotten tired."

As is tradition in Italian families, Marol spends her wedding night in her family home.


Her mother sleeps in the adjacent room in case Marol has any questions.
Mama tells Marol, "You have any a problem, you come and see Mama."
Later, Marol's husband unbuttons his shirt, and Marol jumps up, runs next door and cries, "Mama, Mama! He has hair all over his chest!"
Mama reassures Marol, "Men have hair on the chest. This is sign of a good man. Go now and make him happy."
But when Marol's husband takes off his belt, she goes jumps up again, runs next door and cries, "Mama, Mama! He has a protrusion in his pants!"
Mama reassures her, "He finds you beautiful. This is sign of a good man. Go now and make him happy."
Finally, Marol's husband takes off his shoes. Due to a terrible childhood accident, he only has half of his right foot. Marol jumps up and runs back to her mother's room, shouting, "Mama, Mama! He has a foot and a half!"
Her mother gets up and announces, "Stand back, Marol this is a job for Mama!"

⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language

A guy buys his first motorcycle.
The dealer tells him to keep a jar of Vaseline handy to rub on the chrome before it rains to prevent rusting.
A few months later, the young man's girlfriend invites him to dinner at her parents' house.
Before they go in, she explains their family tradition that whomever speaks first after dinner must do the dishes.
After dinner, everyone sits in silence waiting for the first person to break.
After 15 minutes, the young man decides to speed things up.
He leans over and kisses his woman in front of her family.
No one says a word.
Emboldened, he throws her on the table and has s**... with her.
Silence.
Desperate, he grabs her mother and has s**... with her on the table.
Suddenly, they hear thunder rumble in the distance.
The guy thinks of his bike and, instinctively, pulls the jar of Vaseline out of his pocket.
"OK, OK," says the father, "I'll do the dishes!"

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