The Best 59 Traditional Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Traditional jokes. There are some traditional conservative jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these traditional cantaloupes puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 Funniest Traditional Jokes and Puns

What's the name of a traditional Ethiopian dish?

"The Empty Bowl"

Wishes

A woman was walking on the beach when she spotted a lamp almost buried in the sand. She picked it up, dusted it off, and to her surprise a genie popped out.

"Thank you for releasing me from my thousand-year imprisonment! I will grant you the traditional three wishes as a reward. And since you are married, your husband will get double of whatever you wish for."

"But I hate my husband," the woman protested. "He cheated on me and spent all our money -- I've already filed for divorce."

The genie shrugged and told her it was genie law. "OK, whatever," she said, "Give me a hundred million dollars." *Poof!* There were stacks and stacks of newly minted $100 bills piled in front of her. "So, does that mean my husband has *two* hundred million now?"

"Yep," the genie said.

"OK... for my second wish, I want a 100,000 square foot mansion." *Poof!* There was a huge mansion right up on the bluff, and the deed was in her pocket. "So, does that mean my husband gets *two* mansions?"

"Yes indeed. Now, what would you like for your final wish?"

She thought about it for a minute, then snapped her fingers and said, "Genie -- scare me half to death!"

At my school, the cafeteria has "World Cuisine" day once a week, in which one foreign nation's traditional cuisine is on the menu. Last week, the country was Ethiopia...

...they served us nothing.

Traditional joke, At my school, the cafeteria has "World Cuisine" day once a week, in which one foreign nation's tradi

There has been some controversy regarding priests delivering sermons using an iPad instead of the traditional bible.

I think its perfectly fine. After all, Moses delivered the ten commandments using two tablets.

A Foot And A Half

Maria had just got married and being a traditional Italian, she was still a virgin. So, on her wedding night, staying at her mother's house, she was nervous. But her mother reassured her. Don't worry, Maria. Tony's a good man. Go upstairs and he'll take care of you.

So up she went. When she got upstairs, Tony took off his shirt and exposed his hairy chest. Maria ran downstairs to her mother and says, Mama, Mama, Tony's got a big hairy chest.

Don't worry, Maria, says the mother, all good men have hairy chests. Go upstairs. He'll take good care of you.

So, up she went again. When she got up in the bedroom, Tony took off his pants exposing his hairy legs. Again, Maria ran downstairs to her mother. Mama, Mama, Tony took off his pants and he's got hairy legs!

Don't worry. All good men have hairy legs. Tony's a good man. Go upstairs and he'll take good care of you.

So up she went again. When she got up there, Tony took off his socks and on his left foot he was missing three toes. When Maria saw this, she ran downstairs. Mama, Mama, Tony's got a foot and a half!

Stay here and stir the pasta, says the mother.

This is a job for Mama.


An Asian woman brings her large Irish boyfriend to meet her traditional parents

Her mother says:

"You bring great Shamus to this family."

Why do melons have traditional marriages?

Because they cantaloupe

Traditional joke, Why do melons have traditional marriages?

There were 3 Chinese men...

Han, Chan and Fan were planning on migrating to the USA.

They all wanted to assimilate as quickly as possible, so they decided to adopt more traditional American sounding names.

Han decided that he would be Huck.

Chan decided that he would be Chuck.

And Fan...well Fan decided that he`d stay in China.

Doctor joke

Two doctors mortally offend each other and resolve to fight a duel. But they have no clue about the traditional dueling weapons -- swords, pistols, etc. After some thought, they decide to use the most deadly weapon of which each is an undoubted expert: They exchange prescriptions.

A traditional Indian woman walks into a bar for the first time...

She sits down between two men.

She hears the first man says to the bartender "Johnny Walker, single."

Then second man says to the bartender "Jack Daniels, single."

The bartender turns to the Indian woman... She says "Pushpaben Patel, Married."

I want to handle the topic of traditional homosexual polygamy

Just like my four fathers did

You can explore traditional purely reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean traditional cultural dad jokes. There are also traditional puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.


TIL that for release in Finland, the original Mortal Kombat had to be censored in an unusual way. Censors were fine with the gore, but insisted the music be replaced with traditional Christian songs.

FINNISH HYMN!!!

Mormons believe traditional marriage is between a man and a woman

and another woman and another woman and another woman.

A traditional Iranian joke

A man has a very bad case of worms so he goes to very famous doctor. the doctor assesses his case and says go to the market buy the biggest juicy watermelon you can find, cut off one end drop your pants and sit on it. The worms will go into it and leave your body. So the guy does just that and when he sits down the king worm comes out tastes the watermelon and says " bring it in boys"!

The Scots are updating the perception of traditional Scottish fare.

Oatmeal porridge will now be known as a Highland Smoothie.

Gay Marriage Licenses

So, 22 counties in Alabama are refusing to issue gay marriage licenses on the grounds that they believe in the traditional marriage of a man and his sister.

Traditional joke, Gay Marriage Licenses

I once told a girl her "traditional" kimono was a rip off of a gofuku.

She said "Gofukurself."

What's a Korean's favourite take on a traditional British meal?

German Shepherd pie.

This is traditional food in my country!

"But Abdul, this plate is empty."

"__I know!__"


Modern technology has never matched the simplicity and grace of the traditional pen.

In fact, you could say that there is still no e-quill.

We're having a traditional Thanksgiving this year.

We're going to invite the neighbors to dinner, murder them, and take their land.

Looking forward to my traditional 7-course Irish Thanksgiving meal

A six pack and a potato

TIL: Many medieval surnames like Fletcher or Cooper refer to the patriarch's traditional occupation.

I guess I won't be marrying Mr. Dickinson.

What kind of cakes do sexists like to eat?

Traditional gender rolls.

My girlfriend wanted a traditional wedding;

Guess I didn't offer her father enough goats.

I noticed that youtube video thumbnails now play an animated gif when you hover over them.

When i noticed this, i was laying in bed with my conservative, traditional girlfriend, but without thinking, i say out-loud, "Oh, youtube finally caught up to pornhub with that awesome feature."

My girlfriend: What?
Me: What?

Traditionally, orthopedic surgeons were strong and dumb.

But now they have power tools.

My auntie has a traditional remedy for Tourette's.

She swears by it.

Why do melons always have traditional weddings?

Because they cantaloupe

I started a fried chicken joint. In order to be halal, the chickens must be killed in the traditional Islamic manner:

It's pretty hard getting the little explosive-filled vests on them, though.

Why do melons hold the traditional ceremony of marriage in such high regard?

Because they can't elope.

Jewish man calls his mom. "Mama, I have good news and bad news..."

Mother, ever the optimist: "Give me the bad news."

Man: "I can't live a lie anymore. I'm gay."

Mother, a traditional conservative woman, after the wailing and the gnashing of teeth that was expected of her by her son, regains her composure and asks: "Well, what's the good news?"

Man: "So I met this nice Jewish doctor..."

Did you hear about the two melons who are being pressured by their parents into having a traditional wedding?

They cantaloupe

The Inca people were one of the few who ever mastered hunting with owls, much like traditional falconry.

Legend says they learned calls to communicate with the intelligent birds, even to the point of planning attack strategies ahead of time.

And that's where we get the term Inca-hoots.

What do you call a traditional Indian monk who partakes in the devil's lettuce?

A Merry Jain.

I just found out that the traditional 15th wedding anniversary gift is crystal.

My wife going to be so surprised to have a threesome with my mistress!

How can you tell you're at a traditional Arkansas wedding?

No one has to tell the bride welcome to the family .

Trump says he believes in traditional marriages

He has had 3 of them so far

How much did the German, fistbump-loving, traditional baker charge for his coin collection?

Pump per nickel.

A man moved to New York from India and he opened a lunch counter where he served traditional Indian foods and sandwiches to go. He decorated it in Indian style to remind him of his home city and hired his friends and neighbors from the old country to work there.

You might say he was setting up a little Delhi.

A Jewish man on his deathbed is talking to his daughter.

The man smells noodle kugel (a traditional Jewish food) coming from the kitchen downstairs and reminds his daughter that it's his favorite food. He asks her to go get him some for his last meal- he knows he will die very soon. The man's daughter goes downstairs, and comes back with no kugel. The man asks why she didn't bring any. The daughter says:

Mom said it's for after.

A potato dad is talking to his potato daughters about who they want to marry.

The first daughter says, "Dad, I want to marry a Yukon Gold!" The dad replies "Honey, that's a great idea. Yukon Golds are renowned for their versatility and will make you very happy.

The second daughter says, "Dad, I want to marry a russet." Dad approves of this choice too, since russet potatoes are well-known for being good, traditional potatoes.

The third daughter then says "Dad, I want to marry Bill Maher!" Dad is flabbergasted, and exclaims, "But honey! He's just a common-tater!"

My Native American friend from work invites me home to meet his wife.

When we arrived at his house his wife appeared in full traditional dress, she looked stunning. My friend introduced me and said * I'd like you to meet my wife, five horses. * I commented what a beautiful name that was and asked what the significance was?

* Quite simple * really he replied, * Nag nag nag nag nag... *

I went to Hawaii with my dad to get a taste of their traditional culture. They set out two bowls of their famous delicacy. When I couldnt choose which one to grab, my dad said,

"Pick your poi, son"

A guy falls in love with a very traditional and conservative girl...

…that means no sex before marriage. But he does not care, he loves her. After a year of dating he decides its time to propose to her. So he heads to her father's house to ask for his blessing.

β€ŸHello, sir, I am here to ask for your daughter's hand

A bit skeptical and looking to see if he really does love her, the father asks β€ŸAnd why is that?

The guy lets out a long drawn out sigh… β€ŸWell, its just that mine have gotten tired.

One for the software devs

There are two eternal problems in traditional software engineering:

1. Garbage collection
2. Naming things
3. Off-by-one errors

The Scotsman

A Scotsman was walking down the street in his traditional Scottish attire when he saw a couple of women talking and giggling,

As he approached one of the women asked " is it true the you dont wear anything under your kilt?"

"Aye, why dont you have a peek and find out for yourself"

So the woman lifted his kilt just enough to see his "business" and said "oh thats gruesome"

The Scotsman replied "I think if you'll check again, you'll see its grew some more"




First post, heard this in a song recently, got a good chuckle from it personally

I think it helps to read with a Scottish accent

I asked my Japanese girlfriend to make me a traditional dish tasty enough to make me fall in love with her national cuisine.

Sushi did.

A kid with a speech impediment is trick or treating on Halloween...

At his last door a nice elderly lady opens it and he says the traditional " Bick or beat!" She replied "Oh what do we have hear what are you dressed as little boy?" He proudly replied "I'm a Birate!"
"Oh you're a Pirate!" She responds "Well where are your Buckaneers?" He scowls at the lady and points to his head and shouts "My bucken ears are right here why don't you use your bucken eyes?!"

This is a traditional joke from my culture. Warning, the humor is a bit different than you're used to

Two men are having dinner. One man orders an uncooked fish, and the other man orders uncooked steak. Both are skeptical of the other's raw food. The fish man then orders a Martini, and the steak man orders pure alcohol. The fish man tells the other man not to drink it. The steak man chugs the alcohol. A few hours later, the steak man is at the hospital. The fish man visits. The fish man tells him that he once pulled a charger out of the wall. The steak man dies.

What's the traditional greeting among prostitute-accountants?

Tally ho!

What do you get if you cross the king of Wakanda with a traditional Jewish baked good?

T'challah bread

A crappy joke I thought up.

What do you get if you purchase a quad pack of traditional mature Japanese wine?

Four old times sake.

A man stormed into the Doctor's office

A man stormed into the doctor's office full of excitement. He grabbed the doctor's hand and pumping it furiously, exclaimed Doc, I just want to thank you and tell you how your treatments have improved my life! The bold way that incorporate new scientific breakthroughs with traditional holistic has made all the difference, Thank you!

The doctor, amazed and confused, stammered Thank you, but you're not one of my patients..

I know, said the man, but my uncle was and I'm his only heir!!

A boss and his two workers had a genie appear before them...

The genie in his traditional style offered three wishes to them, so they decided to split the three wishes amongst them. The first worker said:

"I wish for a party yacht with hundreds of beautiful girls crawling all over me."

Poof, and he was gone. Seeing this, the second worker eagerly said:

"I wish for a castle with hundreds of staff and a limitless credit card."

Poof, and he too was gone. Scratching his stubble, the boss sighed.

"I want those two goddamn loafers back in the office before lunch break ends!"

Traditional joke from my childhood... I am the first person to translate this to English LoL

There was a young boy that always struggled to cross the road, every time he tried to cross the road he got hit by a car...

One time he was crossing the road and he made it to the other side!

He jumped for joy!

...He got hit by a plane midair.

Traditional jokes from my childhood #3

A group of friends were hiking a mountain and were planning on having a picnic up there..

One of the friends stutters a lot on the starts of sentences... On the way up he kept saying "w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-" until they made it to the top of the mountain he was finally able to say "We forgot our food", everyone got mad and sad and started their way back down.

The joke doesn't end here... on the way down he kept saying "J-j-j-j-j-j-j-j-j-j..." until they made it to where they had parked their car he was finally able to say "Just kidding".

Traditional joke from my childhood #4

A man went to a coffee shop and ordered two cups of coffee.

When the waiter gave him his two cups of coffee he told him "Drink the second cup first." The man was confused and asked "but what's the difference?" the waiter said that if he drinks the first one first the second one will get cold

My wife was in the kitchen cooking the traditional meal for today and asked…

Do you want anymore pancake?

I said no and don't call me pancake.

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the traditional mainstream jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working traditional garb piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

Joko Jokes