Trade Jokes

171 trade jokes and hilarious trade puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about trade that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

This article offers an overview of the world of trading jokes and the many forms it can take, from fair trade to merchant trading, international trade, construction trade, Cubs trading, fantasy football trades, and more. Learn how to negotiate trades and understand futures to get the best deals out of trading jokes.

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Funniest Trade Short Jokes

Short trade jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The trade humour may include short exchange jokes also.

  1. What is a Pirate's favorite letter? The one from the General Manager telling him he's been traded to the Mets.
    Thanks to everyone who awarded this post! You're so kind .
  2. Brittney Griner had been traded for Viktor Bout This is the first wnba trade that I paid attention to.
  3. This Mother's Day, my dad got a new car for my mom. He said it was the best trade he's ever made
  4. I saw a sign that said "watch for children". and I thought, "That sounds like a fair trade"
  5. My Dad got a mercedes for my Mom this Mother's Day. He says it's the best trade he ever made.
  6. Talking about Genders is a lot like the World Trade centers. There were 2 of them now it's a sensitive subject.
  7. A merchant told another "I'll trade you a barium atom and two sodiums for that weight measuring device." "BaNaNa for scale?"
  8. What do Hillary Clinton and the World Trade Center have in common? Both collapsed on 9/11 after becoming overheated.
  9. A guy walks into an auto parts store and says to the clerk, "I would like a pair of new windshield wipers for my Yugo." The clerk responds, "Sounds like a fair trade."
  10. I would trade my legs for 5 million dollars But I don't think it would be worth it in the long run

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Trade One Liners

Which trade one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with trade? I can suggest the ones about deal and swap.

  1. Just got a bike for my wife. It was a good trade.
  2. I got a PS5 for my brother. Best trade ever.
  3. This Christmas, I got a new car for my wife I thought it was a great trade.
  4. I just got the new iPhone for my wife All things considered a pretty good trade.
  5. I got a new car for my wife! Best trade I ever made.
  6. All this talk of trade wars... It's just Tariffying
  7. Got a new car for my girlfriend, best trade I ever made.
  8. I just got an iPhone 7S for my wife I thought that was a good trade
  9. I got a purebred Beagle puppy for my wife I thought it was an awesome trade.
  10. My neighbor traded in his KIA yesterday. Sold his Soul for a Mustang.
  11. Just got a diamond ring for my girlfriend Fair trade if you ask me
  12. I got a computer for my wife today. Best trade I ever made.
  13. I read a sign today that said Watch for Children I thought it was a pretty fair trade
  14. A man just got a car for his wife. Now, thats what you call a fair trade.
  15. Did you hear about the guy who traded his car for an old cellphone? Now he's got Nokia

World Trade Jokes

Here is a list of funny world trade jokes and even better world trade puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • Why were the people in the World Trade Center mad on 9/11 ? Because they ordered pepperoni pizza and all they got was plane.
  • What kind of pizzas did Al Qaeda deliver to the World Trade Center? Two large plains.
  • Whats common between the world trade centres and genders? There were once two but now they're too offensive to talk about.
  • Who are some of the best readers in the world? World Trade Center workers, some of them can read 50 stories in just 8 seconds!
  • Why would someone make an open-world, action-adventure game dealing with the Caribbean drug trade? Just 'cause.
  • Yo, Hillary, I'm really happy for you, and I'ma let you finish... ...but the World Trade Centre had one of the best collapses of all time! One of the best collapses of all time!
  • I like my women like the World Trade Centers Tall, hot, and going down
  • Yo momma so fat When she went up the elevator the World Trade Center collapsed
  • Nintendo just announced the first haunted tower for Pokemon GO The New World Trade Center
  • What was the last pizza ordered at the world trade center? Two large planes.

World Trade Center Jokes

Here is a list of funny world trade center jokes and even better world trade center puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • What did DJ Khaled say when the second plane hit the World Trade Center? Anotha one!
  • The World Trade Center had a Speed-Reading club they went thru fifty stories in thirty seconds
  • Who were the fastest readers in human history? Whoever jumped from the top floor of the World Trade Center, they went through 104 stories in under 10 seconds.
  • Is it a bird? Is it a plane? Whatever it is, its heading straight for the World Trade Center.
  • I mentioned to my friend Hanz that today's the anniversary of the world trade center attacks. "Nein, 11" he said.
  • What does an optimist call the World Trade Center? San Diego.
  • How much did the man rate his job at the World Trade Center? A 9/11
  • what kind of pizza did the world trade center employees order for their party? two large plains
  • WTC joke guy 1- Did you see there gonna be putting a department store on the top floors of the new World Trade Center?
    guy 2- No I didn't what store are they putting up there?
    guy 1- A Target
  • Confuse Why there are so many memes of world trade center?? That happened in November right??
Trade joke, Confuse

Fair Trade Jokes

Here is a list of funny fair trade jokes and even better fair trade puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • Every time I see a street sign that says "Watch for Children" I can't help but wonder if that's a fair trade.
  • I saw a sign that said "watch for kids"... Sounds like a fair trade.
  • I saw a sign that said, watch for children. I thought to myself... Thats a fair trade. - Demetri Martin.
  • A person walks into an auto shop and says I'd like a gas cap for my KIA.
    The car mechanic thinks for a few moments says, OK, that seems like a fair trade.
  • Last Christmas i got a bottle of scotch for my wife. That was a fair trade.
  • Guys walks in to a parts store. Can I get a new gas cap for my Yugo? The attendant replies, sounds like a fair trade to me.
  • I was hungry and low on potassium, He needed a device to help him weigh things, it seemed like a fair trade... Banana for scale
  • I went into the Auto Parts store I said:
    "I want a new gas cap for my AMC Gremlin."
    The owner said:
    "Sounds like a fair trade."
  • My friend got a dog for his wife. I told him it was a fair trade.
  • So i said to the guy in the Phone Shop "I'd like to get a new smartphone for my wife" He looked her up and down, then said
    "Seems like a fair trade!"

International Trade Jokes

Here is a list of funny international trade jokes and even better international trade puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • Ever hear about the worst international trade deal ever? It was tarifful...
  • All this talk about International trade wars..... It's just Tariffying....
Trade joke, All this talk about International trade wars.....

Uproarious Trade Jokes to Have a Laugh Out Loud Good Time

What funny jokes about trade you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean market jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make trade pranks.

For valentine's day, I got a new car for my wife

I thought that was an awesome trade

The Secret of the Red Shirt

Once upon a time there was a pirate captain. He ran a very successful ship, and rarely lost any battles. He took a boy under him to teach him the trade.
One day, the lookout shouted, "Marine ship to the starboard, bearing down upon us!". The captain immediately shouted to the boy, "Boy, bring me my red shirt!". The ship was boarded, but the captain rallied the pirates and defeated the marines.
Every time a marine ship attacked them, the captain would give the same order to the boy, "Boy, bring me my red shirt!". And they always won. So, one day the boy asked the captain, "What is the secret of the red shirt?". The captain replied, "The secret is that, if I'm injured in the battle, the crew won't see blood and will not falter." The boy was amazed and grew proud about his captain.
Then one day, the came upon an entire fleet of marine ships. Hundreds upon hundreds of marine ships bore down upon them. The boy came running to the captain with the red shirt. The captain shook his head and said, "Bring me my brown pants."

Offensive nfl joke. Trigger Warning: Terrorism/World Trade Centre/Religious, anybody who is offended do not open this link

I'm really worried about Tim Tebow taking over the QB position. The last time anybody that religious had control of the Jets 9/11 happened

I traded five of my rolex wathces for a ballon animal...

It really was a waste of time.
(Sorry for any bad english and what not, nord typing)

Not to insult any history purists but...

Why did Winston Churchill trade his manual for an automatic?
He hated stall'in.

Two men sit down at a restaurant.

A waitress comes to their table and takes their drink order. When she returns a few minutes later with their beverages, she finds them both eating sandwiches out of paper bags. "Hey!" she says, "you can't eat your own food here!" So they trade sandwiches.


Why did the chicken go to the car dealership?
-- she wanted to trade the coop for a sedan..

Two natives are sitting at a bus stop

one of them is holding a plastic grocery bag. The other one asks him "What have you got in your bag?" He replies "I got a six-pack for my wife." The second one says "Oh... that's a good trade"

A man is talking to his friend...

"Today I got a brand new ford for my wife."
"Eyyy, nice trade."

I saw a sign yesterday that said "watch for children"

I thought it was a good trade

It's Black Friday, and I just got an iPhone 6 for my wife

I thought it was a good trade.

Bill Clinton steps off of a helicopter onto the White House lawn

He's carrying a pig under each arm. A marine who's there to greet him says, "Nice pigs, sir!" Clinton responds, "Thank you! I got one for Hillary and one for Chelsea." The marine replies, "Nice trade, sir!"

Where do potential Ben and j**... employees go to learn the trade?

I got a case of beer for my wife!

It was a good trade!

I got a gun for my wife today.

It was the best trade I ever made.

I got a dog for my wife.

It was a good trade.

This guy told me he got a puppy for his wife...

...wish I could make a trade like that!

I just bought sunglasses off of the black market

The trade was very shady.

I got a bottle of scotch for my wife...

...that's not a bad trade.

A guy walks into a brothel with a donkey and a honeycomb

The brothel owner says "Why do you have an j**...? " Guy says, "I have a big farm, I want to trade it for some time with your girls."
Brothel owner says "Okay, why do you have a honeycomb?" Guy says "I have a lot of bees, was hoping to trade it for some food."
Brothel owner says "Why don't you just eat the honeycomb?"
Guy says, "Same reason I brought the j**..., tired of it."

What do you call the underground s**... trade?

The black market.

Bakers trade bread recipes...

on a knead-to-know basis.

I got a puppy for my girlfriend.

It was the best trade ever!

A starship engineer trades half their ship's cargo...

For a sub light engine. The captain finds out and is angry:
"Why did you trade valuable cargo for something 1/10th the value?"
The engineer replies: "Sorry captain, it was an impulse buy"

I got a fishing pole for my wife

I thought it was a pretty good trade.

What's the best trade a palindrome has ever made?

A nut for a jar of tuna.

I traded my blowup doll in for a middle eastern version..

It blows itself up..

A child tells the make a wish foundation.

So a child is ill and the make a wish foundation asks "what do you want more than anything" the child responds "to trade places with Donald trump!"
They interpret as he wants to know what it's like to be president for a day.
So they ask trump, he obliges.
Trump meets the child and says "so you want to know what it's like to be president?"
The child retorts "no I just wanted you to have cancer"

What type of market does a mathematician trade on?


I told my friend about the Muslim s**... trade the other day...

"Dubai?" He asked
"Yes, and sell" I replied.

Just got a petrol cap for my Skoda...

...seemed like a good trade.

Have you heard about Trumps revision of Obama phones?

You'll be able to trade them in for a alarm clock and job application.

Why is s**... trade i**...

Because it's a black market.

Trump wants to cut funding for birth control, renegotiate trade deals, and stop the wars in the Middle East.

It seems pulling out is his solution for everything.

Names T Rex and I can meet your needs for handheld weaponry​...

I'm kind of a big deal in the small arms trade

Good trade

Man was walking down the street with a case of beer. His friend Sam stops him and asks "what did ya get the beer for?"
I got it for my wife answers the man
Oh exclaims Sam "Good trade"

President Clinton shows up to Air Force One

President Clinton shows up to Air Force One with a pig under each arm.
The Marine sergeant, salutes him and shouts: "Nice pigs, sir"
Clinton looks at him and says: "I'll have you know these are genuine Arkansas razorbacks! I got one for Chelsea and one for Hillary. What do you think about that?"
The sergeant salutes again and shouts: "Nice trade, sir."

My doctor said he could give me some aids for my erectile dysfunction.

I told him that didn't sound like a good trade.

I just got a new set of golf clubs for my wife!

It was a great trade.

What's the #1 rule of the spice trade?

Thyme is money.

I told a co-worker I got a new set of windshield wipers for my 11 year old Sonata.

He said "Good trade, man".

An Native American was walking into the store

As he neared the store another native american was walking out.
Seeing this man the man entering shouted out " Hello friend, What did you get on this fine day?"
The man leaving turned his head toward the first man and replied back "Why i got a 12 pack for the old lady"
The first man put his fist to his chest and said "Wow, what a good trade!"

At Christmas we all deserve to be happy, so I got a puppy for my wife...

... it was a good trade

I got a Harley for my wife

Pretty good trade if you ask me

I built the most American guitar ever

Made completely out of mirror polished, stainless steel from the World Trade Center in the shape of a bald eagle carrying a rifle.
Only has one octave, but I enjoy playing it, from C to shining C.

What do you call the an ant in a colony who is responsible for establishing incoming trade deals with other ant colonies?


I got a box of wine for my wife

I think it was a good trade.

I've been reading so much about the scary trade disputes between the US and Canada, I see headlines when I blink...

...Frankly, I'm tariff-eyed.

I just got a huge bouquet of roses for my wife

I thought it was a pretty good trade

Hitting a deer with your car is always an unfair trade.

You're out the cost of the insurance deductible, but nature is only out a buck.

Currency trading

I used to trade currency. this asian guy came in and wanted to exchange 10,000yen - I gave him $120.
a week later he came in with another 10,000yen - I gave him $105.
a week after that he came in with another 10,000yen - I gave him $135.
the guy said to me in an annoyed voice " why one week $120, then $105, then $135! - why the difference?!!?"
I says to him "fluctuations"
He responds "fluck you white people"

I have the best girlfriend i would not trade for anything on earth

but NASA was having this sale on moon rocks at the gift-shop

Trade joke, I have the best girlfriend i would not trade for anything on earth

jokes about trade