Trace Jokes
34 trace jokes and hilarious trace puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about trace that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
This article takes a look at the wacky, sometimes delusional, phenomenon of trace jokes. These jokes are so obscure, they can often feel like they have completely dissapeared. Find out what all the buzz about track and trace jokes is about, and why the press can't seem to get enough!
Funniest Trace Short Jokes
Short trace jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The trace humour may include short track jokes also.
- The oldest computer can be traced back to Adam and Eve. It was an apple but with extremely limited memory. Just 1 byte. And then everything crashed.
- The ceo of Pepsi was fired this morning. They found trace amounts of Coke in *her system.
*I have to be factually correct. - My dad is the world's greatest magician.. He told me to close my eyes and he dissapeared without a trace for over 23 years.
- In 1982 elton john attended one of Queen's concerts, but was shortly hospitalized afterwards. Turns out they found traces of Mercury in him.
- The origin of CrossFit can be traced all the way back to ancient Rome. Take Jesus for example, he fit nicely on that cross.
- Nvidia teams up with Oceana nonprofit to track manta rays' travelling habits They're applying their latest ray tracing technology.
- You know you might have a drinking problem... When you go to the doctor and he informs you that they found traces of blood in your alcohol stream
- The oldest laptop can be traced back to Adam and Eve An Apple with very limited memory (1 Byte), single core and OS written in Python.
- Heard from my manager at work Did you hear about the Spanish Magician?
He was so good he could say,
Uno…
Dos…
Then he was gone without a trace. - Caitlyn Jenner comes with a warning label... It says:
Warning - May contain traces of nuts.
Share These Trace Jokes With Friends
Trace One Liners
Which trace one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with trace? I can suggest the ones about probe and stalk.
- A frog decided to trace his genealogy one day... He discovered he was a tad Polish.
- Yoda's been tracing his family tree. It's an evergreen.
- My boss gave me a blueprint to trace... My job was on the line
- I have been trying to trace my father, but i cannot find a marker
- I have been trying to trace my father, but my pen keeps running out
- We trace hands to make turkeys. Quite a handy technique.
- Why aren't snickers chocolate bars popular with girls? They contain traces of pea nuts.
- The m**... Church followed Scouts of America Principles. They left no trace.
- 79% of U.S. paper money is contaminated with traces of c**....
Test And Trace Jokes
Here is a list of funny test and trace jokes and even better test and trace puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- What did the Mexican lab technician say when he read the blood tests of a patient who's been showing no improvement? Ooh, no dose trace.
Amusing Trace Jokes to Make You Laugh with Friends
What funny jokes about trace you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean trait jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make trace pranks.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A Jewish man and a Chinese man were talking.
The Chinese man is proudly telling the Jewish man about his heritage. We can trace our history back for over 3,000 years, he exclaims with pride!
We'll, that's very impressive, replies the Jewish man, but our history goes back for almost 6,000 years!
The Chinese man, after some consideration, says to the Jewish man, Well, that doesn't make any sense. What did you people eat back then?
Mental health hotline.
Hello, welcome to the mental health hotline.
If you have obsessive compulsive disorder, press 1 repeatedly.
If you are co-dependent, please ask someone to press 2 for you.
If you have multiple personality syndrome, press 3, 4, 5, and 6.
If you suffer from paranoid schizophrenia, we know who you are and what you want. Stay on the line so we can trace your call.
If you are delusional, press 7 and your call will be transfered to the mothership.
If you are hearing voices, listen carefully and a small voice will tell you which number to press.
If you are manic depressive, it doesn't matter which button you press. No one will answer anyway.
If you are dyslexic, press 96969696969696.
If you have a nervous disorder, please fidget with the pound button until a representative comes on the line.
If you have amnesia, press 8 and state your name, address, phone number, date of birth, social security number, and your mother's and grandmother's maiden names.
If you have post traumatic stress disorder, slowly and carefully press 911.
If you have bi-polar disorder, please leave a message after the beep. Or before the beep. Or after the beep. Please wait for the beep.
If you have short term memory loss, please try you call again in a few minutes.
If you have low self esteem, please hang up. All our representatives are busy.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A magical spanish thief was caught trying to steal an early work of a famous artist
In his defeat, he declared they could keep the work, but he would set himself free on the count of three. He said "Uno...Dos...." and then p**..., he vanished without a trace.
I can trace most of my problems back to my parents...I'm not sure if they hugged me too much, or too little when I was a kid.
Either way, they should have been wearing clothes.
Y'all remember when Ritz and Goldfish crackers didn't contain trace amounts of salmonella?
Pepperidge farm remembers.
A recent study shows people with trace amounts of Arsenic, Selenium, Astatine, and Erbium have the longest lasting relationships
The best couples always have an AsSeAtEr
Paranoia Hotline
I phoned the Paranoia Helpline, but I hung up after fifty-nine seconds.
I'm sure they were trying to trace my call.
Elephant genealogy
First elephant: "I hear you've been trying to trace your ancestors on the internet.
Second elephant: "Yes, and it's a mammoth task.
My sister disappeared yesterday.
The police said it was a possible kidnapping. They told us they were trying to trace her. But then I told them, I'm already tracer
How do you guys feel about that popular country singer's new diet, it allows very very small amounts of carbs.
It's called the Trace Atkins diet.
I'm not very good with baking...
...so if I want a cake I have to get a piece of paper and a pencil so I can trace leches.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
When his wife went missing...
... her husband searched everywhere for her. As well as filing a missing persons report with the police, he contacted all her friends and family in a bid to trace her, but no luck. Then two days after she vanished, he returned home to find her standing in the bathroom.
He threw his arms around her and cried: "Where have you been? I've been worried sick."
"These four masked men kidnapped me," she said, "tied me up and took me away to their place, and then had wild s**... with me for a week."
"A week? But it's only been two days," said the husband.
She answered: "I'm just here to get my toothbrush and make-up."
The answering protocol for the psychiatric hotline.
Hello. Welcome to the Psychiatric Hotline.
If you are obsessive-compulsive, please press 1 repeatedly.
If you are co-dependent, please ask someone to press 2.
If you have multiple personalities, please press 3, 4, 5 and 6.
If you are paranoid-delusional, we know who you are and what you want. Just stay on the line so we can trace the call.
If you are schizophrenic, listen carefully and a little voice will tell you which number to press.
If you are manic depressive, it doesn't matter which number you press. No-one will answer.
Hello and welcome to the mental health hotline..
If you are obsessive compulsive press 1 repeatedly.
If you are co-dependent ask someone to press 2 for you.
If you have multiple personalities press 3, 4, 5 and 6.
If you are paranoid we know who you are and what you want..stay on the line and we'll trace your call.
If you are delusional press 7 and your call will be transferred to the mothership.
If you are a nymphomaniac please stop doing that with the phone..
If you are schizophrenic listen carefully - a small voice will tell you which button to press.
