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Toys Jokes

151 toys jokes and hilarious toys puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about toys that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

Nothing beats a good laugh! Check out this article for some of the funniest jokes about fidget toys, Toys R Us, Wiggly, Hasbro, and other popular toy brands. Get ready for some big laughs as we diversify the humor.

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Popular Toys Short Jokes

Short toys jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The toys humour may include short dolls jokes also.

  1. Dad: I gave all your toys to the orphanage Kid: Why did you do that dad?
    Dad: So you won't get bored there.
  2. Kid: Waaaahhhhh! MY TOY IS BROKEN! Dad: Nothing a little duct tape can't fix.
    Kid: mrnm... mmrm.. rnmr...
  3. Not to brag, but made six figures this year They named me the worst employee at the toy factory
  4. I just donated all your toys to the orphanage Dad : I just donated all your toys to the orphanage
    Son: Why?
    Dad: So you'll have something to play with when i take you there.
  5. Stop sending toys to children in Africa It's gotta be depressing, getting a Tamagotchi that will outlive you.
  6. I work on a two-person assembly line of dracula toys... I've got to make every second count
  7. A constipated man robs a toy store. He steals everything but one teddy bear Because he is unable to take a pooh
  8. I'm not bragging, but I made six figures this year… So they named me the year's worst employee at the toy factory...
  9. I asked the toy store sales assistant if they had any arnold schwarzenegger action figures in store... She replied "Aisle B, back".
  10. Retailers have pulled all the Darth Vader toys from their shelves... Apparently they are a choking hazard.

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Toys One Liners

Which toys one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with toys? I can suggest the ones about boy toy and dog toy.

  1. Where does Walmart keep the Terminator toys? Aisle B, back.
  2. I could tell that my parents hated me. My bath toys were a toaster and a radio.
  3. why don't Chinese kids believe in Santa? They're making all the toys
  4. I call my wife "Happy Meal"... She's not enough to satisfy me but she comes with a toy...
  5. Young Macdonald had a toy... GI GI Joe
  6. why do Chinese children not believe in Santa They are the ones making the toys
  7. Why don't Chinese kids believe in Santa? Cause they're the ones who make the toys
  8. Recycling Adult Toys "One man's trash is another man's pleasure!"
  9. Why don't chinese kids believe in Santa? Because they make the toys.
  10. What is a orphan's favorite toy? A boomerang! They know it will always come back.
  11. Why wouldn't the lobster share his toys? Because he was... shellfish.
    hahahaha
  12. What was the last dinosaur to become extinct? The Toys R Us
  13. I don't wanna grow up, I wanna be a Toys 'R' Us kid... Bankrupt and empty inside.
  14. Why couldn't little Johnny get the toy he saw on TV? His parents weren't 18 or older.
  15. Just put Toys R Us General Manager on your resume. Who are they gonna ask?

Toys R Us Jokes

Here is a list of funny toys r us jokes and even better toys r us puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • I was browsing Toys R Us and the aisles said "Girls 3-5", "Boys 5-7", etc. Jeez, just let me buy something. I don't need the whole guilt trip about who made it.
  • Remember kids the Toys R Us bankruptcy and liquidation teaches us that poor spelling and grammar will always catch up with you eventually.
  • Attention everyone, you must now grow up. No one can be a Toys R' Us kid anymore.
  • So Toys-R-Us has begun to expand into inner city areas. But they've had to change the name to We-B-Toys.
  • Toys R Us More like Toys Were Us (insert depressing drum roll here)
  • T.I.L why Toys R us failed. They fell on their 'R's.
  • If Toys R Us had a book, Chapter 11 would be named "bankruptcy"
  • I'm happy the CEO of Toys-R-Us died After all, he who dies with the most toys wins.
  • It has a few days since Toys R Us closed down. I guess we should say Toys Were Us
  • So two Catholic priests are hanging outside Toys R Us and an eight year old boy walks by The first priest smirks and whispers to the second priest, I bet he looked good in his prime.

Bath Toys Jokes

Here is a list of funny bath toys jokes and even better bath toys puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • I had to divorce my wife, she was just SO childish She kept stealing my bath toys.
  • My parents didn't love me as a kid My bath toys were a toaster and a hair dryer
  • Which bath time toy steals your soap? The Robber Ducky
  • What does this joke mean from jimmy kimmel show? Bed Bath & Beyond is currently offering store credit in exchange for Toys RUs gift cards. Said kids, Umm… I guess the whiskey decanter?
  • I knew I was an unwanted baby when I saw... that my bath toys were a toaster and a radio.
    RIP Joan Rivers.
  • Chuck Norris uses live piranhas as bath toys.
  • What is a toy for bath time that is dead Alan duckman
Toys joke, What is a toy for bath time that is dead

Stuffed Toys Jokes

Here is a list of funny stuffed toys jokes and even better stuffed toys puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • Why do cuddly toys never eat? Because they are stuffed
  • For Christmas my wife wants a stuffed turkey for dinner I bought her a plush turkey toy.

Fidget Toys Jokes

Here is a list of funny fidget toys jokes and even better fidget toys puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • If toy story was made in 2017 Instead of buzz lightyear Andy would have just gotten fidget spinners
Toys joke, If toy story was made in 2017

Make fun with this list of one liners, jokes and riddles. Each joke is crafted with thought and creativity, delivering punchlines that are unexpected and witty. The humor about toys can easily lighten the mood and bring smiles to people's faces. This compilation of toys puns is not just entertaining but also a testament to the art of joke-telling. The jokes in this list are designed to display different humor styles, ensuring that every reader at any age finds something entertaining. Constantly updated, they offer a source of fun that ensures one is always smiling !

Gather Around for Fun Toys Jokes and Laughter with Friends

What funny jokes about toys you can tell and make people laugh? One example I can give are clean furniture jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help make toys prank.

Sometimes at Wal-Mart...

Sometimes at Wal-Mart I like to fill my grocery cart up with wonderful toys. Then I try to find a mother with annoying kids and I hand the kids one of the toys. I make a quick get-a-way so the mother can deal with the aftermath.

Why doesn't Michael J Fox have an Etch-a-Sketch?

He's too old to play with toys

Why didn't the shrimp share its toys?

Because it was shellfish

Granny's boyfriend

A 5 yr old boy went to visit his grandmother one day.
While playing with his toys in her bedroom while Grandma was dusting, he looked up and said, "Grandma, how come you dont have a boyfriend?"
Grandma replied, "Honey, my TV is my boyfriend. I can sit in my bedroom and watch it all day long. The TV evangelists keep me company and make me feel so good. The comedies make me laugh. I'm really happy with the TV as my boyfriend."
Grandma turned on the TV and the reception was terrible. She started adjusting the knobs, trying to get the picture in focus. Frustrated, she finally started hitting the backside of the TV, hoping to fix the problem. The little boy heard the doorbell ring, so he hurried to open the door, and there stood a man.
The man said, "Hello, son, is your grandma home?"
The little boy replied, "Yeah, but she's in the bedroom b**... her boyfriend."

Psychedelic Playthings...

So I should probably stop covering my child's toys in l**... and leaving them out...
... I've heard they can be a trip hazard.

Little Johnny is at Toys R Us...

Little Johnny is at Toys R Us looking for a new toy to buy. He finally finds a toy car he really likes and decides to buy it. He goes up to the cashier to pay for the toy car and offers fake Monopoly money. The cashier says to Little Johnny, "are you dumb? this is not real money." Little Johnny responds, "You're s**..., neither is the car..."

What did the priest get at Toys R Us?

An e**....

Why wouldn't the shrimp share his toys?

Because he is a little shellfish.

Why Santa got involved with Christmas

Mrs. Clause overheard Santa on the phone:
Santa: Have you been naughty? ….That actually sounds nice. You can sit on my lap and tell me what you want while those wet stockings dry ….. I want to (come) down your chimney and eat your (cookie). What kind of (toys) should I bring?…. Yes, I'd love to see how you trimmed your (fir) … I just want to unload my (sack) when I see an angel on top.
Now, every year he has to keep doing the b**... lie he told.

What do you call Santa without toys?

A lost Clause

I wonder if Buzz and w**... had ever met Andy's mom's toys.

They probably have the same names

I think they need to come out with an R rated Toy Story where the mom's s**... toys all come to life too.

The theme song should still be "You got a friend in me".

Girl wants a barbie.

One afternoon, a woman and her little daughter went into a large toy store. The mother asked her daughter what toys she wanted.
The little girl said, "I want GI Joe and Barbie."
The mother smiled and said, "Darling, you know Barbie doesn't come with GI Joe."
The little girl looked up at her mom and replied, "Mom, Barbie ALWAYS comes with GI Joe. She just FAKES it with Ken."

My family was so poor we couldn't afford toys...

So my mom would cut holes in our pockets so we'd have something to play with.

Better Luck Next Year Kiddo!

I'm going to give my kid a set of batteries for Christmas with a note on it saying Toys not included.

rumour has it Toy Story 4 is going to focus on Andy's mom's toys

Coincidentally, they are also called w**... and Buzz

I had a rough childhood. I couldn't play with toys that required supervision

I only had regular vision

Did you hear ISIS secretly makes s**... toys?

They specialise in blow up dolls

My brother and I started a business manufacturing Dracula toys

I have to make every second Count

My kids don't beg for toys and I realized it's because they never get to see commercials

Because they're locked in a cage

Why did the toy company stop donating toys to kids in Africa?

Because it's pretty depressing to have a Tamagotchi that'll out-live you.

A Priest and a Rabbi.

A limerick for ya...
 
_A prep school had come into view..._
_"Yo Rabbi," a Priest said, "woo-hoo!_
_Let's lure them with toys,_
_And then screw little boys"._
_"Out of what?" - the response of the Jew_

My girlfriend said she wanted me to be more naughty in bed

But now she wants me to give her toys back.

What did w**... and buzz say to your mom?

"Strange to see your toys have the same name as us."

What does Santa say to the elves after they make the toys?

Leave my presents

I hate what toys do to girls' body images.

Real girls don't have smaller girls inside of them with smaller girls inside of them...

Putting dogs on product packaging increases sales by up to 25%.

Unless you are trying to sell tires or s**... toys.

My mom told me to get rid of my brick toys

But I just can't lego

I used to steal toys from the hobby shop, but they caught me when I started taking the Airfix sets

I would have gotten away with it, too, if it weren't for you modelling kits!

Where do dinosaurs shop for toys?

Toysaurus

Why do black guys have such long d**...?

Because their parents could never afford toys.

Toy Story 4 Will Be About Sids Moms Toys

Giving a whole new meaning to Buzz and w**...

Dog toys that make noise…

are motivational squeakers

Soviet Joke

Moscow, 1985, 3rd grade class
Teacher: Life in Soviet Union is great, all families have a nice apartment, a car, all children have nice toys!
Little Kid starts crying
Teacher: Vladimir, why are you crying??
Little Kid: I wanna go to Soviet Union!!

Spouses are a lot like old toys at home

You realize their importance only when someone else starts to play with them

Why did the baby oyster refuse to share his toys?

He was a little shellfish.

Man, some toys are so clingy

They never seem to Lego

My mountain climbing partner's last words were wasted on giving me advice about toys I don't even have.

"DON'T LEGO."
Odd.

I'm really thankful that Disney/Pixar brought us Toy Story

It means I can go to Toys R Us and walk out with a w**... without it being awkward.

I was walking past Toys R Us today, when I noticed a really long line outside...

I asked a worker, "What's everyone here for?"
He said, "That's the Barbie queue."
Then, like an fool, I stood in it for forty five minutes waiting for a burger...

Santa Claus must be Asian..

That's why all of his toys say "Made in China."

My dad always taught me to share my toys with my siblings.

It wasn't that he wanted me to develop social skills, it's because he was a cheapskate that wanted to spend 50% less money on toys.

The mom from ToyStory has her own set of Toys.

Their names are also w**... and Buzz.

The s**... toy industry could make millions during the holidays...

If they had a drive called "Toys for t**...."

8-ball liquid

Did you know that if you drink the blue liquid that's in those magic 8-ball toys, you can see the future? Trust me, my friend Jack did, and he said he was going to die, and then he did

My buddy makes software for iPhones, for people who like those wiggly-head toys people put on their desks.

Says he's app-ing for bobbles.

The father says to his son: "I brought all your toys to the orphanage."

The son answers: "Why did you do this?!"
"So you don't get bored."

You know what they say about s**... toys for people with baseball related fetishes...

If you build it they will come.

Pixar movies over the years

What if toys had feelings?
What if bugs had feelings?
What if monsters had feelings?
What if fish had feelings?
What if superheroes had feelings?
What if cars had feelings?
What if rats had feelings?
What if robots hadd feelings?
What if boy scouts had feelings?
What if gingers had feelings?
What if feelings had feelings?
What if dinosaurs had feelings?
What if Mexicans had feelings?

My wife just delivered a baby!

She decided to deliver some toys too, in case the orphanage needs them.

Rumor is that Toy Story 4 will focus on

Andy's mother's toys, which coincidentally are called w**... and Buzz too.

Young Boy : Grandpa, tell me a story of your childhood

Old Man : Hmmm...when I was young, I could go to a store with 50 cents and get myself candy, toys, and bread.
YB : wow that must've been fantastic. What about now?
OM : Sigh, times have changed. Nowadays with those darn cameras everywhere in the store, its practically impossible to do so anymore.

Apparently they make s**... toys based on frogs

They're ribbited for your pleasure

Why are Catholics against abortion?

Because no one likes having their toys taken away.

Im a d**... with a side business in toys

I sell pro-pain, and pro-pain accessories

The synopsis for Toy Story 4 has leaked.

This time it focuses on Andy's mother's toys, also named Buzz and w**....

I brought gifts to an orphanage to cheer the kids up

Apparently, blow up dolls are not consider toys especially after they explode.

A Japanese Boy Is Playing His NES With His Family

The Grandfather says " I used to play Nintendo cards in the 1930's"
The Father said " I used to play with Nintendo toys in the 1960's"
The Uncle said " I used to have s**... in Nintendo love hotels in the 1970's"

Ironically, w**... and Buzz ...

were also the names of Andy's Mum's toys.

Toys joke, Ironically, w**... and Buzz ...

jokes about toys

Jokes are a form of humor that often involves clever wordplay, puns or unexpected twists in a story. These are usually short narratives or anecdotes crafted with the intent of amusing its audience by ending in an unexpected or humorous punchline. Jokes are a universal form of entertainment that people of all ages like adults, teens, kids and toddlers can enjoy. JokoJokes' FAQ section has answers to questions you may have!

The impact of these toys jokes can be both social and psychological. They can help to ease tensions, create bonds between people, and even improve overall mental health. The success of a joke often relies on the delivery, timing, and audience. Jokes can be used in various settings, from social gatherings to professional presentations, and are often employed to lighten the mood or enhance a story.