Unearthly Funniest Tower Jokes to Tickle Your Sides
Freedom Tower
Apparently they're having such a hard time filling office space in the new Freedom Tower, they've opened it up to big chain department stores...
Just what America needs — another Target.
A monastery's bell ringer died and the monks put an ad in the paper for a new one.
The next day a man comes to the door to apply and he has no arms. The head monk says:
"Sir, how can you ring our bell if you have no arms?"
The applicant replied, "Just give me a chance, take me to the bell tower and I'll show you."
The all get to the bell tower and ask him to show them how he plans to do it. The applicant gets a running start and slams his face into the bell "RINNNNNNGGGGGGGG"
Before anyone could stop him, he backs up and runs s**... into the bell again and falls to the ground dead.
The head monk spoke up, "Did anyone catch his name?"
Another monk said, "No, but his face sure rings a bell."
Olympics, the new tower of Babel
The German Olympian
I met an athlete near the Olympic Park
I asked him "Are you a Pole Vaulter"?
He said "No, I'm German...
and how do you know my name?"
What do you call a tower of kittens?
A meowtain.
Bellboy
Once there was a church that had a bell that no one could ring. One day, a boy came and asked the priest if he could try. So the boy went up into the tower and ran straight into the bell, face-first. The bell tolled loud and clear. The shocked priest gave him the job. But one Sunday, he ran straight toward the bell with his face and missed and fell off the tower and died.
"Congregation," the priest said before the assembled masses. "Does anybody know this boy's name? Because I don't know him, but his face rings a bell."
A plane from J.F.K. is coming in to land at a rural airport in Arkansas at midnight.
Mouthy pilot turns to his co-pilot, winks & says "watch this"......
"Pilot to control tower......hey there h**..., guess who!!"
Control tower switches off the airport lights.....
"Control tower to pilot....... Hey there Yankee, guess *where!!*"
How are you going to celebrate 9-11?
I go to the tallest tower in my city. Call up a pizza place and order two large planes.
Ever been to the Tower of Pisa?
the security is pretty lenient
Translating the German joke Germans only tell Germans.
I don't like to talk about the Holocaust either. My grandfather died in a concentration camp.
He got drunk and fell off the guard tower.
My dad is German and dropped this one on me the other day.
Dad: I never told you this but, my great grandfather died in the holocaust.
Me: Oh, man thats terrible.
Dad: Yeah, he got really drunk one night and fell off of the guard tower.
I'm getting really sick of all the Holocaust jokes...
My great grandfather died at Auschwitz, so I find these jokes really offensive. Granted, he fell out of a guard tower and broke his neck, but I think that still counts.
You can explore tower turrets reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean tower fortress dad jokes. There are also tower puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.
I love that tower in France
I hear it's an eye full
My wife and I got married under a cell phone tower.
The ceremony wasn't great, but the reception was perfect.
I'll never forgive the n**... for how they treated my granddad in that concentration camp during the war.
Five years he was there on that machine gun tower, and never got a single promotion...
A Texan was taking a taxi tour of London...
As they went past the Tower of London the cabbie explained what the building was and provided a brief history. Upon hearing that its construction started in 1346 and was completed in 1412, the Texan stated, "Really? A little ol' tower like that? In Houston we'd have that thing up in two weeks!"
Next they passed the House of Parliament, and the cabbie again gave a brief history, omitting the construction dates this time. However, being eager to brag, the Texan questioned its construction too. The cabbie replied that it was built in 1544 and completed in 1618.
"Well, boy, we put up a bigger one than that in Dallas and it only took a month!"
As they passed Westminister Abbey the cabbie was silent.
"Well? What's that over there?" asked the Texan.
The annoyed cabbie scratches his head and replied "I haven't the foggiest idea, Sir. It wasn't there yesterday!"
A man from Egypt, a man from Paris and a man from Liverpool are all on a hot air balloon ride
The man from Egypt says "we're in Egypt! I can see the beautiful pyramids". A while later the man from Paris says "we're in Paris! I can see the Eiffel Tower from here". Next, the man from Liverpool spoke. He said "we're in Liverpool! I can see someone stealing my car!".
A physicist sees a man about to jump off from the top of Sears Tower...
He yells to him "Don't do it! You have so much potential!"
When asked about his religious beliefs, Donald Trump states that he...
"definitely believes in a higher tower".
Why Eiffel Tower is so high?
So the white flag can be visible from Berlin.
Sorry :P .
swimming pool wishes
At a swimming pool: Three guys climb a high-dive tower and meet a good fairy who offers to fulfill a wish for each of them. One jumps and says, "Beer!" - and the pool is full of beer. The other one jumps, says, "Money!" and the pool is full of money. The last one starts to jump but slips and, falling, yells, "SHIIIIIIT!!!"
What did one tower say to the other?
I've got a plane to catch
Throwing Watches
Three tourists climbed up the tower with London's Big Ben and decided to throw their watches off the top, run down the stairs and try to catch them before they hit the ground.
The first tourist threw his watch but heard it c**... before the had taken three steps. The second threw his watch and made only two steps before hearing his watch shatter.
The third tourist threw his watch off the tower, went down the stairs, bought a snack at a shop up the street and walked slowly back to Big Ben in time to catch the watch.
"How did you do that?" asked one of his friends.
"My watch is 30 minutes slow."
I don't like jokes about the Holocaust. My grandfather died in a concentration camp.
He fell out of a guard tower.
In Newcastle, England many people don't like to live above the seventh floor in a tower block
They have a fear of Eights
I was sitting in church when a guy walked in and said hi to me.
He then walked up into the tower of the church and hit his face against the large bell a few times.
#b**... b**... b**...
He then walked back down the stairs and said "See you later mate" and walked out. As he left a few fellow church goers said to me, "Do you know that guy?"
I replied, "I don't think so, but his face rings a bell"
I promised my wife I would make her feel like a princess.
She is all locked up in the tower now.
Why is the leaning tower of Pisa in Italy?
It's Italicized
My grandpa died in a concentration camp.
Poor guy fell out of the guard tower.
I tried to climb the Eiffel tower once
But eiffel :/
Trump was cleaning his gun in Trump Tower...
Kellyanne Conway walks in and asks,
Kellyanne: "Why do you have a gun?"
Trump: "Obama Spy Drones"
Kellyanne: \*laughs\*
Trump: \*laughs\*
Microwave: \*laughs\*
Trump shoots the Microwave.
Donald Trump gets executed
and is hanged by the neck until dead.
At Trump Tower, his family watches CNN, which is covering his death live, all of them mournful and teary before Donald himself walks in triumphantly.
"But Donald, CNN says you were killed!" Ivanka cried.
"Nope!" Donnie beamed, holding up the rope that was used to hang him, "fake noose."
The clock hits 9:11 twice everyday
One for each tower
Why does the Leaning Tower of Pisa lean?
Because it's Italic.
In my community we have a neighborhood watch,
It's actually more like a clock tower.
The President of Brazil, France and United States share a flight around the world
The United state president puts his hands out of the windows and says:
"We are in the US! I just touched the Statue of Liberty"
Some time passes, the French president puts his hands out and says out loud:
"Now we are in France. I just touched the Eiffel tower".
After a while the Brazilian president also puts his hands out of the Airplane and says:
"Yes, we finally are in Brazil. I just had my watch stolen"
I had my wedding under a cell phone tower.
The ceremony wasn't great but the reception was excellent.
Why is the tower of Pisa tilted?
Because it had better reflexes than the Twin Towers.
My Grandfather died in Auschwitz
Poor guy fell out of the guard tower
The Leaning Tower of Pisa and Big Ben never married...
One lacked the time while the other lacked the inclination.
Pablo Picasso surprised a burglar at work in his studio
The burglar got away, but Picasso told the police he could do a rough sketch of what he looked like. On the basis of his drawing, the police arrested a mother superior, a washing machine, and the Eiffel tower.
The Italian government has decided to put a big clock similar to Big Ben in the leaning tower of Piza.
Now they'll have the time as well as the inclination.
A guy says: "My great grandfather died in the concentration camps"
Then he laughs: "He fell from the guard tower"
"Stop telling jokes about this" His friend replies - "My great grandma also died in concentration camps"
"Oh I'm sorry"
"Yeah, some idiot d**... dude fell on top of her from the guard tower"
What's the difference between a tick, and the eiffel tower?
Well nothing, after all they are both Paris sites.
I'm surprised the tower of Pisa hasn't fallen over during the pandemic
Without all those tourists helping hold it up.
As they stood on top of The Eiffel Tower, watching a beautiful sunset, he got down on one knee and said, Honey?
She gasped audibly and said, Yeah?
He said, Help! My replacement knee is made of magnets.
One day Pablo Picasso returned to his workshop and saw a thief running out...
When the gendarmerie came to investigate, Picasso told them that he could draw a picture of the man. Armed with his drawing, the gendarmes quickly arrested a three-legged dog, a letter box, and the Eiffel Tower.
TIL that the leaning tower of Pisa collapsed after 848 years.
After an official investigation it was discovered not enough tourists have been holding it up since the start of the pandemic.
Once an American, a French and an Indian were travelling in an airplane.
To find out where they have reached, the American stretched his hand out of the plane and said, "We have reached America".
The other two asked how for which he replied,"Well my hand hit the Statue of Liberty".
Next the French stretches his hand out and said,"We have reached France".
The other two asks how for which he replied,"Well my hand hit the Eiffel Tower".
Then the Indian puts his hand out of the plane and said, "We have reached India".
The other two asks how and he replied, "Well someone stole my watch".
First day as a pilot
Tower: Can you give me your position?
Me: I'm next to a cloud that looks like a lion?
Tower: Can you be more specific?
Me: Simba
Don't joke about the war...
I told my friend that my grandfather died in the war.
He said "I am sorry to hear. How did he die?"
I said "One night there was a drunken party, and he fell off a guard tower!"
An old man sitting behind us interrupted. "You shouldn't joke about these things. It's offensive. My father actually died in the war."
I felt really bad, and apologized. "You're right it was insensitive of me. I'm sorry about your father, how did he die?"
He replied "One night there was a drunken party, and he was walking past a guard tower..."
What do you call someone who jumped off a pyramid?
In denial
What do you call someone who jumped off the Eiffel Tower?
Inseine
I couldn't make it to the top of the tower in France.
I fell.
Genders are like the Twins Tower
There used to be 2 of them, but now you can't make jokes with them.
I tried climbing that tower in Paris..
but Eiffel.
"What do a tick and the Eiffel Tower have in common?"
***"They're both Paris sites."***
First day as a pilot. Control tower: Can you give me your position? Me: I am next to a cloud that looks like a lion. Control tower: Can you be more specific?
Me: Simba
Quasimodo is about to ring the bell for 3pm when the rope snaps.
He knows he has to ring it but doesn't know how. Then he has an idea. He takes a big run up and uses his face to ring it. Bloodied and cut he does it again. Battered and bruised he does it one more time, but the bell swings back and knocks him off the tower down to the floor below.
Lying dead in a b**... heap, he's surrounded by towns people. o**... says "who's that?"
His pal said "I don't know, but his face rings a bell."
We Finally Know Why The Leaning Tower Of Pisa Is Leaning.
The graphic designer pressed the *ITALICS* key on accident.
What do a tick and the Eiffel Tower have in common?
They are both Paris sites
An old joke in my native language.
In a country, all the idiots lived together in a big town. One day, their leader dies. He had two children. Both of them were eligible to be the leader. They were quite confused who should be their leader. So, they visit a saint for advice.
The saint says: "Whoever will answer my question correctly will be the king of idiots..
..and the question is: **If a rooster sits on a tower, and lays an egg, in which direction will the egg fall?**"
I just saw a great documentary on how they built the Eiffel Tower.
I'm not gonna lie, it was riveting.
A group of politicians are flying over Italy...
The mayor from Pisa exclaims "We're flying over Pisa!"
"How can you tell?" the others ask.
"Look, you can see the Leaning Tower!"
Later, a Roman parliamentarian shouts "We're flying over beautiful Roma!"
How can you tell?" the others ask.
"Look, you can see the Coliseum!"
After a while, the mayor of Naples cries "At last! We're flying over Napoli!"
"How can you tell?" the others ask.
"Look," he replied, "all your watches have been stolen!"
They asked me not to lean over the edge of that tower in Paris.
Eiffel.
what is the most common syndrome among tower defense players?
Tourettes
What do leeches and the Eiffel Tower have in common?
They're both Paris sites!
I tried to climb a really tall tower in Paris, France.
But Eiffel off.
What bird can build a tower?
A crane.
