Tournament Jokes
72 tournament jokes and hilarious tournament puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about tournament that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Whether you're playing a game of golf, fishing, pool or rugby, tournaments bring out the competitive side in players. Find out the funniest jokes about tournament play and see who can make the most people laugh. Read on and laugh at these hilarious tournament jokes!
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Funniest Tournament Short Jokes
Short tournament jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The tournament humour may include short competition jokes also.
- I'm trying to organize a Hide and Seek tournament for a while, but it is not easy. Good players are hard to find.
- I tried to organize a professional Hide and Seek tournament, but failed. Good players are hard to find.
- I am trying to organize a professional Hide and Seek tournament, but it is turning out to be really difficult. Good players are hard to find.
- A man is caught cheating in a Limbo tournament. The organizer, hurt and dissapointed, asks him: "How low can you go?"
- My son's team won the soccer tournament, so the goalkeeper invited the two of us for a party afterwards. It was the father, the son, and the goalie host.
- My idea of starting a professional Hide and Seek tournament was a total disaster. Good players are hard to find.
- Why couldn't the vaginas participate in the golf tournament? Because they weren't members.
- Why will the columbine high basket ball team lose the tournament? Because they lost their 2 best shooters
- I recently became friends with someone from Central Europe We met at a Chess tournament and I've never once beaten him in a game.
He's my Czech mate - What do you get when you cross a gladiatorial-style tournament with children? The Younger Games
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Tournament One Liners
Which tournament one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with tournament? I can suggest the ones about contest and league.
- I entered the world kleptomaniac championship tournament I took gold, silver and bronze.
- I used my knife to conserve ammo... the rest of the paintball tournament were horrified
- I tried to organize a hide and seek tournament. But good players are hard to find.
- What five letters are the most feared in the NCAA Tournament? COVID
- A man walks into a bar... And is disqualified from the Limbo tournament
- I am trying to organise a hide and seek tournament. But, good players are hard to find.
- Why can't America ever win a chess tournament? Because they're missing two towers
- Why does USA have hard time competing in chess tournaments? They are missing two towers
- How did I win a Super Smash Bros. Brawl Tournament? I met a knight
- I was going to have an edging tournament with some friends... ...but nobody came.
- How did the group of 4 dogs win the golf tournament? They combined for 16 paws.
- How did the amateur win the karate tournament? He won the No-Belt Prize.
- There was a mass shooting at a video game tournament today It's ok though they'll respawn
- What's the best way to watch a Fly Fishing Tournament? Live Stream
- What do you call a badly organised football tournament? A facup.
Golf Tournament Jokes
Here is a list of funny golf tournament jokes and even better golf tournament puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- TIL in the 79s Leggs pantyhose and Richard Pryor sponsored a golf tournament. It was called the Pryor Leggs Open.
- What does a German man bring to a golf tournament? His nein Iron
- I used to wonder... ...why golf tournaments aren't called s**...-Offs
Then I turned 12.
Ncaa Tournament Jokes
Here is a list of funny ncaa tournament jokes and even better ncaa tournament puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- I heard that the Eclipse already won the NCAA tournament. It totally swept the nation.
- Miskatonic University Eliminated First Round of NCAA Tournament Officials cite g**... misunderstanding of march madness …
Rib-Tickling Tournament Jokes that Bring Friends Together
What funny jokes about tournament you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean conference jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make tournament pranks.
An amateur golfer playing in his first tournament
was delighted when a beautiful girl came up to him after the round and suggested he come over for a while. The fellow was a bit embarrassed to explain that he really couldn't stay all night but that he'd be glad to come over for a while. Twenty minutes later they were in he bed making love. When it was over, he got out of bed and started getting dressed.
"Hey," called the girl from beneath the covers, "where do you think you're going? Arnold Palmer wouldn't leave so early."
At that he the golfer stripped off his clothes and jumped on top of her. After they'd made love a second time, he got out of bed and put his pants back on.
"What are you up to?" she called. "Jack Nicklaus wouldn't think of leaving now." So the golfer pulled off his pants and s**... her a third time, and afterward he started to get dressed.
"C'mon, you can't leave yet," protested the girl. "Tiger Woods wouldn't call it a day."
"Lady, would you tell me one thing?" asked the golfer, looking at her very seriously. "What's par for this hole?"
Pun challenge
My friend entered a pun tournament this weekend and had to submit 10 puns. When I asked if he won, he told me "No pun in ten did"
Dogs playing poker
Why are dogs bad at poker?
Because they wag their tails whenever they have a good hand.
Why did John's dog win the poker tournament?
Because he's a Doberman.
Did you hear Victoria entered a boxing tournament where the grand prize was a s**... change?
I heard she came out the Victor
Chess enthusiasts meet in their hotel after a tournament...
A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel and were standing in the lobby discussing their recent tournament victories. After about an hour, the manager came out of the office and asked them to disperse. 'But why?" they asked, as they moved off. "Because", he said, "I can't stand chess nuts boasting in an open foyer."
The Annual Urology vs Proctology Basketball Tournament ended predictably...
Urology is #1
Proctology is #2
A man enters a golfing tournament...
... but he is terrible at golf. However, an evil leprechaun lives at the golf course. He says to the man,
"I see you are terrible at golf, but I can help you win the tournament, if you agree to never marry."
The man agrees.
After he wins the tournament, the leprechaun asks for his name.
The man says:
"Father Smith" as he adjusts his priest's collar.
(A priest joke with 100% less p**...!)
A gay couple visits Ireland...
They were very disappointed in the Gaelic Handball tournament they went to watch.
A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel.
They were standing in the lobby discussing their recent tournament victories when the manager came out of the office and asked them to disperse.
''But why?'' they asked, as they moved off.
''Because,'' he said ''I can't stand chess nuts boasting in an open foyer.''
A poker player wins one million dollars first price in a tournament
Interviewer: Congratulations on your win! If you don't mind me asking, how will you spend you $1 million winnings?
Poker player: I owe some people some money so I will be paying my debt to these guys.
Interviewer: and what about the rest?
Poker player: Well... I guess they'll have to wait..
My fencing trophy
I recently placed 11th at a local fencing tournament. I got a participation award.
When I came home my wife asked me if I got a trophy
I said "Sword-of"
I entered a blindfolded m**... tournament.
No idea where I came.
A chess player was travelling abroad for a tournament
He managed to find a room at a small hotel. Upon entering the room, he immediately knew something was wrong and briskly made his way back to reception.
"Is something wrong?" the receptionist asked, startled by the man's disgruntled demeanour.
The man exclaimed "I thought I paid for room and board!"
I recently won a professional lesbian rock paper scissors tournament
It was easy because they kept doing scissors
There isn't enough recognition for the farmer who used his barren field to host the first Bovine Boxing tournament
He gave up an awful lot to see some bulls hit.
In order to help Russia's chances at the World Cup
The tournament has been moved to December.
Entered an e**... tournament the other day
the competition was stiff
A French internet cafe had to cancel a CS:GO tournament it was supposed to host, after someone stole all the baked goods.
The gamers could not tolerate that much baguette loss.
Cruel March Madness Odds
If you want a sure thing in your men's NCAA tournament pool, you'll need to fill out the 9,223,372,036,854,775,808 brackets necessary to guarantee a winner. Just leave yourself *plenty* of time to finish them all*:* if you filled out one bracket every second it would take you 292 billion years to cover all the possibilities.
He walks through the midday heat, an occasional shot clips through the trees overhead.
He and many men like him question their logic to sign up. They could be home, spending time with their families but instead they are outside, dehydrated, fighting a battle they probably won't win. Their frustration mounts as they realize it's nothing at all like all the games they played as kids.
He's on the 3rd hole of the tournament and he's already 7 over par.
I won my poker tournament last night with the five of clubs and the five of s**....
Black fives matter.
A group of chess enthusiasts had checked into a hotel, and were standing in the lobby discussing their recent tournament victories
After about an hour, the manager came out of the office and asked them to disperse.
'But why?' they asked, as they moved off.
Because, he said, I can't stand chess nuts boasting in an open foyer
A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel and were standing in the lobby discussing their tournament victories
After an hour, the manager came out and asked them to disperse. "But why?" they asked. "Because," he said, "I can't stand chess nuts boasting in an open foyer."
Last week I was invited to play in a golf tournament
At first I said, 'Naaahhh....' Then they said to me, 'Come on, it's for handicapped and blind kids.' Then I thought......... d**... -- I could win this thing!!!
Company Picnic Softball Tournament
At our annual company picnic, the advertising department always played a game of softball with the editorial department. This year the ad dept. won ,9-4. But on the company bulletin board the next morning was the following notice. The Editorial Dept. is proud to announce that upon the conclusion of this year's softball tournament, we finished in second place overall, having lost only one game the entire season. We would also like to take this opportunity to offer our condolences to the Ad Dept.'s team for finishing next to last, having won only one game during the entire year.
A boss calls a meeting to discuss employees taking sick days when they aren't sick.
He had suspected that this had been happening, but he finally had his proof. He held up a copy of the newspaper, and in the sports section, there was an article about an employee, who had supposedly been sick, winning a golf tournament.
Wow said someone in the back. Imagine the score he could've gotten if he wasn't sick
I was the referee in a Russian Roulette tournament
I did an excellent job, none of the losers complained
Click here for a potential once in a lifetime opportunity!
Thank you for entering the Russian roulette tournament.
Novak Djokovic says he will skip tournaments rather than get the COVID vaccine.
Do you know why? Because he is Novak.
A guy goes to a psychiatrist to see about his strange dreaming...
"doctor I'm dreaming everynight about a soccer tournament for ants. It's on everynight. They went though a group stage, a knockout phase and its the only thing I'm dreaming about the last week, it's driving me nuts."
so the doctor says: "well, that's easy, just take this medicine before going to bed tonight and the dreams will be gone".
to which the guy replies: "no no no doctor, not tonight because it's the FINALS".
I'm trying to organize a hide and seek tournament but it's really difficult... Good players are hard to find."
but it's really difficult... Good players are hard to find