Tour De France Jokes
45 tour de france jokes and hilarious tour de france puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about tour de france that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Funniest Tour De France Short Jokes
Short tour de france jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The tour de france humour may include short bike ride jokes also.
- TIL of a reality show where the goal is to do as much drugs as possible without dying or getting caught. It's called the Tour de France.
- They currently think the person who ruined the Tour de France might have been German. Well, she did try to take down a whole race...
- If you ever miss the Tour de France, just go to Amsterdam. It's basically the same thing: a bunch of people on drugs riding bikes.
- I may not have as many Oscars as Leo anymore but... I've still got as many Tour De France wins as Lance Armstrong.
- Amsterdam is like a tour de France - it's full of people on bikes and drugs.
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Heard this last weekend while visiting Amsterdam - Who won the first Tour de France? I don't know his name, but I know he was in a German tank.
- A nuclear physicist is convinced he can win the Tour de France He says biking is just a chain reaction.
- What impresses me the most about Tour de France athletes is that they can go for five hours without looking at their cellphones.
- Everyone should stop hating on Lance Armstrong.
He won 7 Toure De France's on DRUGS!
When I'm on drugs, I can't even FIND my bicycle. - Always been a race fan Boy, they're really pulling out all the stops at the Tour de France nowadays.
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Tour De France One Liners
Which tour de france one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with tour de france? I can suggest the ones about riding bicycle and world cup.
- Who won the first Tour De France? The 2nd Panzer Division.
- What do they do with the bikes at the end of the Tour de France? They recycle them.
- Who won the Tour de France in 1940? The Sixth German Panzer Division.
- Who won the first Tour de France? The 3rd German Tank Division.
- How long did the first Tour de France last? 3 months. The 3rd Panzerdivision.
- I only like one race. Tour de France, cause I'm a cyclist.
- Who won the 1940 Tour De France? Erwin Rommel
- In France, Chuck Norris accidentally won Tour de France by exercise bike.
- Chuck Norris won the Tour De France on a stationary bike.
- What did Charlie Sheen say when he won the Tour de France? Schwinning!
- Why did the Tour de France get raided? The police heard it was full of pedal-philes.
- I'm the woman who caused the Tour de France c**...! AMA!
Oops, gotta run!
Witty Tour De France Jokes for Laughter-Filled Fun with Friends
What funny jokes about tour de france you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean riding bike jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make tour de france pranks.
French Jokes
Who won the first Tour de France?
The 6th Panzer division.
Why do french tanks have rear-view mirrors?
To see the front line.
How many French troops does it take to defend Paris?
No one knows.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Amsterdam is a lot like the Tour de France.
It's just a lot of people on drugs riding bikes.
Lance Armstrong
I hear Lance Armstrong was doping to win the Tour de France again this year.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Don't do drugs...
... or else you'll win the tour de france heaps of times and beat cancer.
Two friends are disscussing...
"Who do you think is the biggest figure in the last 100 years?"
"Definitely that Armstrong guy."
"Why?"
"Why are you even asking? Playing the trumpet like a champ, landing on the Moon and winning tour de France is not big enough for you?"
I wonder if the lawyer of Mr. Armstrong, the ex-Tour de France winner, ever
worked for a big corporation or if he was strictly a Free Lancer.
Lance Armstrong
I think it is just terrible and disgusting how everyone has treated Lance Armstrong. Especially after what he achieved, winning 7 Tour de France races while on drugs. When I was on drugs, I couldn't even find my bike
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Why do they give the winners of the Tour de France a yellow jersey?
To remind them what colour their u**... is meant to be.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I hate marathons, I can't stand the Tour de France, and I think Formula 1 is the worst.
I admit it, I'm raceist.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What happened to Napoleon after he crashed in the Tour de France?
Well, I never heard, but that tore Napoleon's bones apart.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
The person who caused the Tour de France c**... should be arrested and charged with genocide.
She tried to take out an entire race.
