Tougher Than Jokes
17 tougher than jokes and hilarious tougher than puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about tougher than that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Funniest Tougher Than Short Jokes
Short tougher than jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The tougher than humour may include short harder than jokes also.
- A boat joke: Why is the back of a boat tougher than the front? It's made of sterner stuff!
- A Tutor Who Tooted A tutor who tooted the flute
Tried to tutor two tooters to toot
Said the two to the tutor
Is it tougher to toot
Or to tutor two tooters to toot? - My wife said, "Do you know that a healthy human thigh bone is tougher than concrete?" "Yes, I believe you," I replied, "now please put away the drill."
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Tougher Than One Liners
Which tougher than one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with tougher than? I can suggest the ones about stronger than and tighter than.
- Boy, do I love soccer It's the only sport where the fans are tougher then the players.
- Chess has taught me an important life lesson Being black makes it tougher
- 2PAC once thought he was tougher than Chuck Norris... he was later murdered.
Tougher Than Funny Jokes And Hilarious Puns.
What funny jokes about tougher than you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean softer than jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make tougher than pranks.
Black tarmac and red tarmac at chatting at a bar
Black tarmac: No one messes with me.
Red tarmac: Yeah? How come?
Black tarmac: I'm black tarmac, I'm the toughest tarmac, tougher than any other
Green tarmac walks in, and black tarmac cowers behind red tarmac as green tarmac orders a drink, drinks it and leaves.
Black tarmac: Hey red tarmac, has green tarmac left?
Red tarmac: They have, why are you afraid of them? I thought you were the toughest tarmac?
Black tarmac: I am the toughest tarmac but that guys a cycle path!
Semper Fi, Motherf*****
A Taliban division is patrolling the desert when, over a nearby dune, they hear a voice call out "One Marine is worth 10 Taliban." The Taliban commander sends 10 of his men over the dune, and a gun battle ensues, then silence.
Then the voice laughs and says "One marine is tougher than 100 Taliban." Angered, the commander sends 100 of his troops over the dune. A fierce gun battle breaks out, then silence.
Then the voice once again calls out: "The Taliban are wimps. One Marine can smash 1000 of you cowards!" Enraged, the commander sends 1000 of his best men over the dune. Bullets are flying everywhere, grenades exploding left and right, and then silence again.
Then, through the smoke, one badly wounded Taliban soldier crawls back over the dune. He looks at his commander and says "Don't send any more men, it's a trap. There are actually TWO of them!"
Mahatma Gandhi was a good man...
He also had an odd diet which gave him a pretty pungent breath, not only did he have bad breath from his diet but it also made him incredibly skinny. Another thing he did was walk around barefoot all the time so his feet were tougher than most people's.
I guess you could call him a super calloused fragile mystic hexed by halitosis.
The M6 walks into a bar
The M6 walks into a bar and says to the bartender "I'm the oldest and toughest motorway in Britain and if you don't give me a free drink, I'll smash your face in." The bartender, not looking for any trouble, gives him a free drink and the M6 goes to sit in the corner.
Seeing this, the M2 strides up to the bar and says "I'm the widest and hardest motorway in Britain. Give me a free drink or I'll smash your face in." The M2, with his free drink was still not satisfied and went up to the M6, starting a heated argument over who was tougher.
After a few minutes, a stretch of red tarmac walks into the bar. The M2 says "You want me to prove I'm tough, watch the state I'm gonna leave this bloke in."
The M6 says "I wouldn't do that if I was you. I've seen his type before. He's a cycle path."
Went out with a bang...
A tough old cowboy with grizzled hair, chiseled featured, and hands tougher than the sharpest barbs on new wire told his grandson that the secret to living a long life was to sprinkle a pinch of gun powder on his oatmeal every morning.
With absolute faith, the grandson did as Grandpap instructed. Every morning for the rest of his life, he added a pinch of gun powder to his oatmeal.
He grew up, lived happily, enjoyed perfect health, and died at the ripe old age of 107.
According to the story in the newspaper, he left behind 14 children, 30 grandchildren, 45 great-grandchildren, 25 great-great-grandchildren, and a 15-foot crater where the crematorium used to be.
No s**...
As an ultimate test of his will power, a man decided to give up s**... for Lent. Although not thrilled with the idea, his wife agreed to support him in this effort.
The first few weeks weren't too difficult. Things got tougher during the next couple of weeks, so the wife wore her dowdiest nightclothes and chewed on garlic before going to bed.
The last couple of weeks were extremely tough on the husband, so the wife took to locking the bedroom door and forcing the husband to sleep on the couch.
Easter morning finally came. A knock came on the wife's bedroom door.
"**KNOCK!!! KNOCK!!! KNOCK!!!**"
Husband: "Guess whom?"
Wife: "I know who it is!"
Husband: "Guess what I want?"
Wife: "I know what you want!"
Husband: "Guess what I'm knockin' with?"
Three Nuns at Pearly Gates.
So three nuns simultaneously die and go to the gates of St. Peter.
Whilst there, St. Peter approaches the nuns and says: "I'm sorry girls, but heaven's getting pretty full now. There's this new policy that I have to ask you guys a religious-trivia question before i can let you in".
The nuns agree. So St. Peter approaches the first:
"What was the name of the first Man?"
The 1st nun replies: "Adam."
Peter: "Right, you're in." The first nun then appears on the other side of the gates.
St. Peter goes to the 2nd nun: "What part of Adam was Eve made from?"
2nd Nun: "The Ribs."
Peter: "Right, you're in."
He goes to the final nun: "Right, I can see that you're the head-nun here so I'm going to ask you a tougher one... What was the first thing Eve said to Adam?"
3rd nun replies: "Wow, that's a hard one"
"Right, you're in."
1. WARNING: Consumption of alcohol may cause you to wake up with a breath that could knock a buzzard off a wreaking dead animal that is one hundred yards away.
2. WARNING: Consumption of alcohol is a major factor in dancing like an idiot.
3. WARNING: Consumption of alcohol may cause you to tell the same boring story over and over again until your friends want to assault you
4. WARNING: Consumption of alcohol may cause you to thay shings like thish.
5. WARNING: Consumption of alcohol may cause you to tell the boss what you really think of him.
6. WARNING: Consumption of alcohol is the leading cause of inexplicable rug burn on the forehead.
7. WARNING: Consumption of alcohol may create the illusion that you are tougher, handsomer and smarter than some really, really big guy named Psycho Bob.