touchy Jokes

funny pick up lines and hilarious touchy puns

Genders are like the twin towers

There used to be 2 of them but now it's a touchy subject


Gender is like the Twin Towers

There used to be two, and now it's a really touchy subject to bring up


I asked my father what it was like learning Braille, but he didn't want to tell me.

I didn't realize it was such a touchy subject.


Just some masturbation jokes.


Is a touchy subject.


A dad is talking to his son,

He tells his son, "Now listen boy, if you masturbate too much, you'll eventually go blind!"

The son replies, "Dad.. I'm over here."


A man was starting to lose his eyes sight, so he decides that the best thing to do would be to goto a doctor.

When he gets to the doctors office he says "Doc, you've got to help me.. I think I'm starting to go blind"

the doctor then pulls out a small flashlight and begins examining the mans eyes.

The doctor then says

"Mhmm.. mhmm, Sir I'm sorry to say this, but I'm going to need you to stop masturbating."

The man replies,

"But why??"

The doctor then says,

"Because I'm trying to give you an eye exam."


One Way trip to Mars

NASA was interviewing professionals they were thinking of sending to Mars. The touchy part was that only one guy could go and it would be a one-way trip, the guy not ever returning to Earth.

The interviewer asked the first applicant, an engineer, how much he wanted to be paid for going. "One million dollars," the engineer answered. "And I want to donate it all to my alma mater--Rice University."

The next applicant was a doctor, and the interviewer asked him the same question. Two millions dollars, the doctor said. "I want to give a million to my family and leave the other million for the advancement of medical research."

The last applicant was a lawyer. When asked how much money he wanted, he whispered in the interviewer's ear, "Three million dollars."

"Why so much more than the others?" the interviewer asked.

The lawyer replied, " I'll give you one million, I'll keep a million, and we'll send the engineer."



My wife got mad after telling this story.

You can make yours mad too. And this is the story:

I got on this bus on my way home from work. I noticed this young boy and girl on the far end. First it was the usual kissing. Then the girl got touchy, what baffles me is it seems to be normal to others. Then the unthinkable happened, the girl pulled her shirt up and showed a breast. The boy sucked it immediately. I can tell, the girl's on her early 20's. The boy? Around 6 months.


Making jokes about rape is hard...

because it's such a touchy subject and you always have to force it


Regarding the molestation jokes. A lot you guys may not know this, but molestation...

Is a very touchy subject.

I'm sorry. Did that joke rub you the wrong way?


What are the similarities between the Twin Towers and Genders?

There used to only be two, now it's a really touchy subject


I hear my local school wants to introduce massage classes to help combat stress but there's been a lot of opposition from parents' groups.

Apparently, it's a very touchy subject.


I'm not sure if Steve Jobs got into heaven...

God's a bit touchy about apples...


Joke rules for my house:

First of all, most all jokes are acceptable in this house.. except abortion jokes. Because jokes are all about the delivery...
Absolutely no PMS jokes. Period. No sexual assault jokes.. thats a touchy subject. Dead baby jokes on the other hand.. never get old!


I feel like 2nd base is a really

Touchy subject


I don't like to talk about masturbation.

It's a touchy subject for me.



are a touchy subject.


Is it ok to make a joke about child molestation?

Probably not, it's just too touchy of a subject.


We don't talk about the Duggar family in our house anymore.

The subject is a bit too touchy.


I understand why abortion is a touchy subject (NSFW)

Because on one hand I'm all for killing babies but I really don't think women should have a choice in the matter


Today at work we had a talk about sexual harassment

Personally I thought it was a bit of a touchy subject.


Sexual Assault...

....Its a touchy subject


Why shouldn't we talk about Catholic Priests?

It's a touchy subject.


A Farmer and married lady were sitting at a bar

While chatting, the Farmer explained to the married lady how being a Farmer has been quite the struggle.

"Just this month 10 of my 12 hens haven't laid a single egg!" The lady then replies "You think that's tough? Try being married to a man and not being able to bear him any children..." The Farmer realizing he's hit a touchy subject apologizes to the lady. The lady then asks the Farmer how he plans on tackling his hen problem. The Farmer replies "I guess I'll get a new cock"

The lady replies "ME TOO!"


Don't talk to me about self pleasure.

Its a very touchy subject.


I wanted to be friends with...

Hoping to become friends, I started talking to a sea anemone. After a couple minutes of talking, I asked him about his family, and he became hostile.

It was a touchy topic.



The Queen doesn't like to speak about the paedophiles in her court...

They're all touchy subjects.


Why do people always avoid talking about hands?

They're a touchy subject.


Why didn't the woman come forward with her account of being groped?

It was a rather touchy subject


Rape is a touchy subject


I like to think of gender as the Twin Towers

There was two but now it's just a touchy subject.


What's the difference between Gender and the Twin Towers?

Nothing, there used to be two of them but now it's a touchy subject.


Why do paedophiles teach Physical Ed?

Well... it's a touchy subject.


I don't know why people like to crack rape jokes

They're a real touchy subject which rub others the wrong way


"What's the biggest complaint a sea anemone gets on dates?"

"They're too touchy feely."

"That's gotta sting."


Discussing sexual harassment can be complicated.

It's a very touchy subject.


Some people may not like sexual assualt jokes

But that's probably because it's a touchy subject.


What are the best Touchy puns ?

Did you ever wanted to stand out with a good sense of humour joking with someone about Touchy? Well, here are the best Touchy dad jokes to laugh out loud. Crazy funny pranks and Touchy pick up lines to share with friends.

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