Touchdown Jokes
27 touchdown jokes and hilarious touchdown puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about touchdown that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Funniest Touchdown Short Jokes
Short touchdown jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The touchdown humour may include short takeoff jokes also.
- Tornado warnings are active for Cleveland, Ohio. Residents are invited to seek shelter in Cleveland Browns Stadium where there is no chance of a touchdown.
- What's the safest place in Dallas during a tornado? The Cowboys stadium, the only place there'll never be a touchdown
- Tornado warning in Texas... Everyone evacuate to the Cowboys stadium!
No chance of a touchdown there - My dog does back-flips when the Raiders kick a field goal....... my buddy asked me what he does when they score a touch-down and I told him I didn't know, I've only had him for 6 years.
- Where's the safest place for shelter during a tornado in Detroit? The Pontiac Silverdome, there hasn't been a touchdown there in years.
- Sources are saying Geno Smith threw the first punch but it landed a few yards short and was returned for a touchdown.
- What do you call it when a football player gets so many concussions it starts to degrade their cognition? Touchdowns
- What's the difference between credit fraud and and a touchdown? Credit fraud is a line the Florida Gators know how to cross
- Why did the protester picket the football game? Because he found the touchdowns offensive.
- What do Ben Roethlisberger and Tom Brady have in common? They both throw touchdowns for the Patriots!
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Touchdown One Liners
Which touchdown one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with touchdown? I can suggest the ones about first touch and hard landing.
- What did the referee do when the touchdown was made? # lol
- ATTN: Brazilian football fans Don't feel too bad. Your team only lost by a touchdown.
- What do you get when a dinosaur scores a touchdown? A dino-score.
- Where do Californian Italians score touchdowns? In the calzone.
- What did the running back say before scoring a touchdown? Gotta run.
- How do you say "touchdown" in Polish? Gronkowski
- Chuck Norris once hit 3 touchdowns during a friendly game of full-contact bowling.
- Chuck Norris can get a touchdown in baseball.
- Touchdowns are for losers..
Share Hilarious Touchdown Jokes and Enjoy Unforgettable Laughter
What funny jokes about touchdown you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean pilot landing jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make touchdown pranks.
A guy walks into a bar with his pet dog
The bartender says, "No pets allowed." The man replies, "This is a special dog. Turn on the Browns game and you'll see. Whenever the Browns score, my dog does flips." The Browns keep scoring field goals, and the dog keeps flipping and jumping. "Wow! What happens when the Browns score a touchdown?"
The man replies, "I don't know. I've only had him for 7 years."
Jets Fan
A guy walks into a bar with a dachshund under his arm. The dog is wearing a Jets jersey helmet and is holding Jets pom poms.
The bartender says,"Hey! No pets allowed in here! You'll have to leave!"
The man begs, "Look I'm desperate. We're both big fans, my TV is broken, and this is the only place we can see the game!"
After securing a promise that the dog will behave and warning him that if there is any trouble they will be thrown out, the bartender relents and allows them to stay in the bar and watch the game.
The game begins with the Jets receiving a kickoff. They march down field stop at the 30,and kick a field goal. With that the dog jumps up on the bar and begins walking up and down the bar giving everyone a high-five.
The bartender says,"Wow that is the most amazing thing I've ever seen! What does the dog do if they score a touchdown?"
"I don't know," replies the owner, "I've only had him for four years."
A Jets fan walks into a bar with his dog.
The bartender says, "Hey bud, no pets allowed in here."
The man says, "But wait! This is a special dog, you have to turn on the game to see. When the Jets score, my dog does flips!"
Sure enough, when the bartender turns on the game, the Jets make a few field goals and the dog starts flipping and jumping after each kick.
"Wow," said the bartender, amazed, "that's great! What does he do when they score a touchdown?"
"I don't know, I've only had him for two years."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
So Russell Wilson is dating Ciara but they're not having s**......
That's like getting the ball to the one yard line and not scoring a touchdown
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Old Farts Football
One night, an elderly couple lies in bed when all of a sudden the wife farts. She giggles and says "touchdown, 7 to nothing". The husband was startled by this, but not wanting to lose he tried as hard as he could to f**... and tie the game. He tried so hard, that he sharted. The wife questioned what the odd noise was, and the husband replied "after a quick first half, the second half is starting so we better switch sides".
A man farts in bed next to his wife.
His wife asks, "What in the world was that?"
He replies, "Touchdown. I'm winning, seven nothing."
She decides to get even, so she lets one loose.
He yells at her, "What was that?"
She replies, "Touchdown, tie score."
He wants to get her back, but he tries so hard he sh*ts in bed.
The wife asks, "Now what in the world was that?"
He replies, "Halftime, switch sides."
