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Toss Jokes

91 toss jokes and hilarious toss puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about toss that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

This article discusses different types of jokes, such as bouquet tosses, egg tosses, bean bag tosses, coin tosses, and bag tosses, but with a Venezuelan twist. Find out why these jokes are so popular and how to cast and flip the comedic elements for a unique experience.

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Funniest Toss Short Jokes

Short toss jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The toss humour may include short threw jokes also.

  1. There are 3 men on a boat and 4 cigarettes, they don't have a lighter, how do they smoke? they toss one cigarette over board to make the boat a cigarette lighter.
  2. What do Donald Trump and a pumpkin have in common? They're orange on the outside, hollow on the inside and should be tossed out in early November.
  3. Why did Australia get all the criminals while America got all the puritans? >!Because Australia won the coin toss!<
  4. Wife walks up to husband, takes off her pants and says, "Make me feel like a woman" Husband takes off his pants, tosses it to his wife and says, "That needs a wash."
    ~~
  5. I just found out that my Grief Counselor died Luckily, he was so good at his job, I don't really give a toss
  6. 2 men are on a boat sharing a pack of cigarettes when they realise they have no lighter How do they light up?
    They toss a cigarette overboard to make the boat a cigarette lighter.
  7. My dad taught me to swim by rowing me to the middle of a lake and tossing me overboard... It was pretty easy once I got out of the bag!
  8. A class is learning about probability.. Teacher: If I toss a penny, what are the chances that I get a head?
    Girl: For a penny? Not very bright.
  9. What’s the definition of perfect pitch? When you toss an accordion into a dumpster and it lands on a bagpipe.
  10. What’s the definition of perfect pitch for an accordion? When you can toss it in the dumpster without hitting the sides.

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Toss One Liners

Which toss one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with toss? I can suggest the ones about tumble and throw away.

  1. I dreamt I was making a salad. I was tossing all night.
  2. I made a salad yesterday. It wasn't very good.
    So I tossed it.
  3. How are children like slinkies? It's fun to toss them down stairs.
  4. I had a disturbingly long dream that I was making a salad >!I was tossing all night!<
  5. I tossed a yield sign into a tornado once. Guess I was throwing caution to the wind.
  6. How do you tell if someone is jewish at a football game? They leave after the coin toss
  7. How do you make a cat go woof? You pour some gasoline and toss a match and WOOF!
  8. How do you make a cat go "woof"? Douse it in gasoline and toss it in a fire.
  9. What did the Gen Z baker yell when he tossed the dough? YEEST
  10. What do you do if you see someone having a seizure in the bathtub? Toss in your laundry!
  11. What's the result of tossing a live grenade into a French kitchen? Linoleum blown apart.
  12. What do you say about the coins you toss into a wishing well? Money well spent
  13. What's the worst part of being a cook in prison? Having to toss everyone's salad
  14. What do vegans do for foreplay? Toss each other's salads of course.
  15. What did the athlete say after a perfect hammer toss? "Nailed it."

Coin Toss Jokes

Here is a list of funny coin toss jokes and even better coin toss puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • I'm ranked 2nd in the world at coin flipping... It was a real toss up for 1st place 😉
  • I heard Bernie Sanders lost a delegate to the millionaire in a coin toss. The difference was a Quarter of 1%.
  • So Clinton won 6 out of 6 coin tosses in Iowa? I guess all the money really is behind her!
  • SB50 Panthers and Broncos coin toss Hillary won the coin toss
  • Who will win this Super Bowl's coin toss? Hillary Clinton
  • A friend and I wanted to get a h**..., but we could only afford one h**... so we had to flip a coin... Luckily I won the toss...

Egg Toss Jokes

Here is a list of funny egg toss jokes and even better egg toss puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • nws, easter what Some told me they were going to an egg toss,
    me, Is that an o**... s**... party
Toss joke, nws, easter what

Make fun with this list of one liners, jokes and riddles. Each joke is crafted with thought and creativity, delivering punchlines that are unexpected and witty. The humor about toss can easily lighten the mood and bring smiles to people's faces. This compilation of toss puns is not just entertaining but also a testament to the art of joke-telling. The jokes in this list are designed to display different humor styles, ensuring that every reader at any age finds something entertaining. Constantly updated, they offer a source of fun that ensures one is always smiling !

Cheerful Fun Toss Jokes to Brighten Your Day with Humor and Joy

What funny jokes about toss you can tell and make people laugh? One example I can give are clean overthrow jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help make toss prank.

*RANT TIME* Please can we stop with the flashing blue outdoor Christmas lights this year ?

Every time I come around the corner, I think it's the police and I have a panic attack.
I have to brake hard, toss my wine out the window, hide the w**..., fasten my seat belt, throw my phone on the floor, turn my radio down, and push the machete under the seat, all while trying to drive.
It's just too much drama, even for Christmas.
Thank you for your cooperation and understanding.

Jokes for drinking, when censorship doesn't matter..... I'll start.

Post your jokes, The ones you share with your mates who don't give a toss about all the PC carry on these days. The ones that truly make you laugh when your having a beer or two.

A husband calls his wife from his office, and the maid picks up...

The husband ask, "Hello, is my wife around?"
The maid responds with, "No, sir, she's upstairs with her boyfriend."
The husband, completely enraged, orders the maid to kill both his wife and her boyfriend.
Wen the maid returns, she asks what she should do with the bodies. The husband instructs her to simply toss the bodies in the pool.
Silence comes from the other end, and after a few seconds, the maid says, "Pool, sir?"
The husband looks down at his phone and says, "This isn't 229-6342, is it?"

What's the difference between a baby and a salad?

Most people don't get angry when you toss a salad.

Crazy Jokes

Read Crazy Jokes online and giggle a far reaching measure wildly and toss from your starting and end bothers and strains. The psyche blowing framework for living with a colossal grin standard.

Two students are deciding whether to go to their lecture or the pool on a wonderful summer day...

The first says "How should we decide?"
The second says "How about a coin toss?"
"Sure, you can call it."
"Okay, if we toss the coin and it stays in the air, we'll go to the lecture."

I tossed my friend Sierra a can of pop

Sierra Mist

My last gf was so Mexican...

that I needed a glass of milk to toss her salad.

So I've been tossing up between becoming a meteorologist or a scout master.

But I don't know weather or knot..

How do you confuse a blind person?

Toss them a basketball and ask them to read it.

What is it called when you shoot someone and toss their body into a compacter?

Cap'n'Crunch

Coin toss

Little Johnny : I was feeling so sleepy this morning that I tossed a coin to decide whether I should attend class or go back to bed.
His Friend : So, what did you finally do?
Little Johnny : I had to toss 10 times before I could finally go back to bed.

Whats worse, being a vegan inmate or non vegan?

Or non vegan inmate*
Depends on whether you want to eat meat or toss salad.

What's the I.T. guy's favorite pokemon game?

It's a toss up between ruby and perl.

What does Mr. T say after tossing two 20's and a 10 off the diving board?

I fitty da pool. Peckahs

What do vegetarians love to do during s**...?

Toss some salad.

What's the difference between friends and potatoes?

Potatoes don't scream when you peel their skin and toss them in boiling water.

Such a terrible moment when...

I always find it such a terrible moment when I call shotgun,
But the cops toss me in the back anyway D:

What's the difference between spaghetti's complement and the pitches at a baseball game between members of an intergovernmental military alliance?

One is some NATO toss, and the other's tomato sauce.

Why did the doctor toss his patient down a well?

He tried to kill them.

What did Gimli say when his wife wasn't in the mood for s**...?

"You're going to have to toss me"

If a gay jumped onto your friend's back…

would you help to toss him off?

An American, a Chinese, a Russian, a German and a Syrian passenger are on a train...

The American starts to toss legal documents out the train's window.
The German asks, "Vy are you doing zat?"
The American replies, "We have too much of these."
---
Then the Chinese begins throwing rice out the window.
The German asks, "Vy are you doing zat now?"
The Chinese replies, "We got lay too much of that lice."
---
The Russian then flicks dashcams and v**... out his window.
The German asks, "Vat's the matter vith those?"
The Russian replies, "They're too common where I'm from, comrade."
---
The German looks at the Syrian guy.
#The Syrian guy, nervous, exclaims, "Don't you fooking dare!"

I think my wife is overdoing her lent observance.

She won't even toss my salad.

When she was in prison, what did martha stewart learn about cooking?

How to toss salad.

Cigarettes on a boat.

Three sailors are on a boat. They have four cigarettes and feel the sudden urge to smoke, but the problem is they don't have a lighter. How do they smoke?
They toss one of the cigarettes into the ocean to make the boat a cigarette lighter.

Bros, friends, amigos... If she gives you this for her address, just go ahead and move on. Toss that cocktail napkin away. Move on. THere's other fish in the sea. (feel free to add to the list)

• Drinkand Dr.
• Vicious Circle
• West 943,185th Street
• Psycho Path
• Peoples Ct.
• Nofriggin Way

Grenade toss: How do you measure leadership?

1.75 pints at a time.

Why are most chefs male?

No one can toss a salad better than a man.

So I was talking to an HR manager last night and he told me "Whenever I get a pile of resumes, I take the first five and toss 'em into the trash."

"Why?" I asked.
" 'Cause I don't need people who have no luck."

*Wife blows me a kiss from across the room*

*I pretend to catch it*
*I walk over to the window and toss it outside*
"Grow up Karen"

Told my dad that 12 boys from a junior football team are lost in a flooded cave in Thailand.

Dad: He told me they should call a priest.
Me: Dad! They could still be alive.
Dad: Yes I believe that they are still alive as well, just toss a priest in the cave and he'll find those boys real quick.

Before I started working out, I used to have a hard time picking up chicks.

Now I can toss them in the back of the van no problem.

How do you make a capsi-c**...?

Toss it's salad

Pigs

If you toss off a pig, does that make it pulled pork?

Why didn't Billy want to toss his little sister in the air?

He didn't want to harmonica!

What's black and white? And doesnt give a toss?

A Nun......................

What's a gay carpenter's favorite hobby?

I don't know. It's a toss up between woodworking and working wood.

I tossed and turned as I heard metallic sounds coming from the next bedroom.

It was a restless knight.

The head is on the wrong end of this nail.

A carpenter was putting siding on a house. He'd reach in his pouch pull out a nail and drive it, then he'd pull out a nail and toss it over his shoulder, he continued, sometimes driving the nail and sometimes tossing it.
His partner asked, "Why are you throwing away some of your nails", the first guy says, "The idiots that made them put the head on the wrong end".
His partner said, "You're the idiot, those nails are for the other side of the house"

What do you do when your GF is having a seizure in the bathtub?

Toss in a load of laundry with her. Save four quarters.

What do Pokemon and stds have in common?

If you toss your b**... around randomly for long enough you're bound to catch one

Do you know the definition of"perfect pitch?"

When you toss a banjo into a dumpster & it hits an accordion!

Two blonde builders were working on a house.

One blonde was on a ladder nailing. She'd reach into her nail pouch, pull out a nail, look at it, and either toss it over her shoulder or proceed to nail it into the wood.
The other blonde couldn't stand it any longer and yelled up, "Why are you throwing some of the nails away?"
The first blonde explained, "When I pull it out of my nail pouch, if it's pointed toward me I throw it away. If it's pointed toward the house, then I can use it!"
The second blonde explained, "Don't throw away those nails that are pointed toward you! They're for the other side of the house!!"

Two men are deep in the woods, hunting, when one of them realizes he has to p**....

He turns to the other man, and says "What do I use to wipe myself?" "Use a dollar, then toss it in the bush" the other man replies. So after about twenty minutes, man number one comes back, covered in s**.... His hunting partner, filled with surprise and disgust, said "What happened?! I thought I told you to use a dollar!" To which the man replied "I did! Three quarters, two dimes, and a nickel!"

I needed to do the laundry, but then I realized I was out of detergent,

so I went to write a shopping list and realized how unorganized the junk drawer was, and started checking pens for ink. When I went to toss all the junk, I saw that the trash was full but before I took it out I wanted to get rid of old food in the fridge. That's when I realized a juice jug had leaked so I needed to clean it up but when I went to grab a rag, I saw that the pantry closet was a nightmare so I started organizing it.
And that's how I ended up on the floor looking at my old photo albums from 1990s and not doing laundry.

I was once on in a band called 1023MB

We were so close to our first GIG

(edited - XXXX MB is 1 GB. Its a binary joke and yes, it makes sense)
(edit 2 - KiB, MiB and GiB can toss it, 1111111111 )

Beach days ….

My friend tells me if you really want the girls to notice you at the beach practice your walk, get a nice Speedo bathing suit, and toss a potato down into the Speedo. This will drive the woman nuts.!!
Well I did everything, but still had no luck.
This is when he informed me that the potato was supposed to be in the front ……

A guy walks into a small town bar

A guy walks into his favorite small-town bar and checks out the "Daily Lunch Specials" on the white board. "Alligator is the daily special?" he asks the bartender incredulously. "Where the heck did you learn how to cook alligator?" "Oh, it's easy to make," the bartender assures him. "You just toss it in the Croc p**...."

The number of readers this book hit hard wasn't surprising…

That's just what happens when you toss out free braille.

A couple not-so-bright carpenters are framing a house.

Worker A notices worker B is wasting a lot of nails. He'll pull one out, hammer it in, pull another and toss it, toss another, then hammer one in. And this goes on for a bit.
Worker A says to worker B, hey, how come you keep tossing dem nails?
Worker B responds, they're defective; they got da point on the wrong end!
Worker A says, you idiot, those are for the other side of the house!

Toss joke, A couple not-so-bright carpenters are framing a house.

jokes about toss

Jokes are a form of humor that often involves clever wordplay, puns or unexpected twists in a story. These are usually short narratives or anecdotes crafted with the intent of amusing its audience by ending in an unexpected or humorous punchline. Jokes are a universal form of entertainment that people of all ages like adults, teens, kids and toddlers can enjoy. JokoJokes' FAQ section has answers to questions you may have!

The impact of these toss jokes can be both social and psychological. They can help to ease tensions, create bonds between people, and even improve overall mental health. The success of a joke often relies on the delivery, timing, and audience. Jokes can be used in various settings, from social gatherings to professional presentations, and are often employed to lighten the mood or enhance a story.