Tornado Jokes

What are some Tornado jokes?

A Blonde, a Brunette and a Redhead are against a wall to be executed by a firing line.

Each is given an opportunity for last words. The Redhead is up first: she points and screams "Tornado!" Everyone freaks out and in the commotion she gets away. The Brunette is second and catches on the the plan: she points and screams "Tsunami," fleeing in the confusion. The Blonde has worked out a similar strategy and, on her turn, yells "FIRE!"

What do a tornado, a hurricane, and a redneck divorce have in common?

Somebody's gonna lose their trailer.

A farmer in Nebraska just had his fence destroyed by a tornado, and he's asking for our help

He heard we have a lot of experts in re-posting

What's does a black man have in common with a tornado?

It only takes one to ruin a good neighbourhood

Tornado warnings are active for Cleveland, Ohio.

Residents are invited to seek shelter in Cleveland Browns Stadium where there is no chance of a touchdown.

What do a tornado and a redneck divorce have in common?

Someone is losing a trailer.

What's the safest place in Dallas during a tornado?

The Cowboys stadium, the only place there'll never be a touchdown

I don't know why everyone is afraid of an F5 tornado...

It's just a refreshing breeze!

What do a Florida hurricane, a Kansas tornado, and an Arkansas divorce have in common?

Some poor sap's gonna lose a trailer.

What is the similarity between a tornado in Alabama, and a divorce in Alabama?

No matter how you look at it, somebody is losing a trailer.

Why did the tornado cross the road?

To get the road to the other side.

A blonde, a brunette and a redhead spy get caught behind enemy lines...

The enemy puts each of them against a fence to be shot.

The general orders his squad, "Ready. Aim."

The brunette spy is quick on her feet and yells, "TORNADO! TORNADO! TORNADO!"

The entire firing squad goes to the bunker to hide and waits for the tornado to pass. The brunette then unties her bondage and escapes. The redhead spy sees this and comes up with her own plan. The firing squad returns to kill the remaining two spies.

The general orders again, "Ready. Aim."

The redhead spy then shouts, "EARTHQUAKE! EARTHQUAKE! EARTHQUAKE!"

The enemy takes cover from the earthquake. The redhead spy then unties her bondage and escapes. The blonde spy is no dumby she gets an idea of her own. The firing squad returns to kill the last remaining spy.

The general orders once more, "Ready. Aim."

The blonde spy ready to run yells, "FIRE! FIRE! FIRE!"

What do marriage and a tornado have in common?

Starts off with a lot of sucking and blowing and the next thing you know your house is gone.

A redhead, an brunette, and a blonde are about to be executed by a firing squad.

The redhead is first, so they push her against the wall. The captain says "ready, aim..." and the redhead screams "tornado!" so everyone runs away and she escapes.

The brunette is next, so they push her against the wall. The captain says "ready, aim..." and the brunette screams "earthquake!" so everyone runs away and she escapes.

The blonde is last, so they push her against the wall. The captain says "ready, aim..." and the blonde screams "fire!"

A tornado is a lot like having an affair.

At first there is a lot of blowing, but in the end, you just lose your house.

How are a woman and a tornado similar?

They start off sucking and blowing but then in the end you lose your house.

Saw this joke performed a few years back. Enjoy.

Three men are wandering the woods, and are captured by bandits. The bandits line them up and are ready to shoot them, when out of nowhere, the first man yells "Tornado!"

Everyone looks around in a panic, and by the time they realize there isn't a tornado, the first man is gone. The bandits get ready to fire again, when the second man yells "Earthquake!"

Everyone drops down and covers their heads, expecting a tree to fall on them. By the time the bandits realize they've been fooled again, the second man is gone.

The bandits aim their guns at the last man, when suddenly, he yells "Fire!!!"

...

whats the diffrence between a tornado and a divorce in the south?

nothing. sombodys losing a trailer!

Three women- a blond, a brunette, and a red head, are all about to be executed by ISIS

The red head was up first. Right before she was going to be executed she yelled, TORNADO! All of the ISIS members took cover and she escaped. The brunette was the next in line. She followed in the red-head's footprints and this time screamed SANDSTORM! The gullible ISIS members again ducked for cover while she escaped. The blonde thought to herself, This is going to be easy. These people are idiots. The blonde stood with a smug look on the shooting block while the ISIS leader roared, Ready…Aim…. The blonde yelled, FIRE!

My ex-wife is like a tornado

First she blows, then she sucks, then she took my house and dog.

Whats the difference between a tornado and a divorce in the south?

Nothing, because either way, someone is losing their trailer.

3 prisoners are to be executed by a firing squad

The first one thinking of ways to escape shouted "EARTHQUAKE!" which caused everyone to panic and allowed the prisoner to escape.
The second prisoner seeing what the first one did shouted "TORNADO!" which caused everyone to panic again and also allowed him to escape
The third prisoner, knowing what the others did, frantically shouted "FIRE!"

3 criminals are about to be executed by a firing squad...

The first criminal is brought out. The captain yells "Arm!" then "Aim!" The criminal thinks quickly and shouts "Tsunami!" Being near a tsunami-prone area, the captain and his men look around. The criminal escapes.

The second criminal is then brought out. The captain orders his men the same as before, however the criminal also thinks quickly and shouts "Tornado!" As the firing squad is in a tornado-prone area, the men look around, and the criminal escapes.

The final criminal is brought out. The soldiers again arm and aim. The criminal thinks of a way to get out and has an idea. He yells "Fire!"

What's the similarity between a marriage and a tornado?

At the start there's lots of sucking and blowing but in the end you lose your house.

What's the difference between a tornado and a divorce in the South?

Nothing, someone's losing the trailer.
-Robin Williams

Three guys are lined up to be executed by handgun.

The executioner ask the first one, "Any last words?"

"Tornado!" He exclaims, pointing behind the executioner, who turns around in terror. While the executioner is distracted, he runs away.

So the executioner moves on the the next guy. "Any last words?"

"Tsunami!" He yelled, pointing towards the nearby seashore. Again, the executioner turns around and the second guy gets away.

Frustrated, the executioner goes the the last guy. "Any last words?"

"Fire!"

So the executioner shoots him in the face.

A powerful tornado tore through our town last night. So far, eight bodies have been found.

Plot twister. It only damaged the graveyard.

A brunette, redhead, and blonde got sentenced to execution in front of a firing squad.

The brunette went first. Seeing that the soldiers were a little naive, she waited until they raised their rifles and yelled "TORNADO!". The soldiers panicked and ran and in the ensuing confusion the brunette escaped.

They then beought out the redhead. She waited until the soldiers raised their rifles and yelled "FLOOD!". Again the soldiers ran for cover and she was able to escape.

The blonde was then brought out. Ahe decided to try and mimic her friends. So, as the soldiers raised their rifles, she yelled "FIRE!"....

There was three pilots...

Three WW2 pilots were shot down behind enemy lines and captured. They were sent to a POW camp to be executed. They were lined up and the firing squad said "Ready, aim" and then the first pilot screamd
"Tornado" then the soldiers ran for cover. When thay found no tornado they lined back up.
"Ready aim" Then the second screeched "Bombing run" then the soldiers ran for cover. They then lined up again. "Ready aim" Then the third pilot knew what to do and screamed "FIRE".

What does a tornado and a divorce in the south have in common?

Somebody is losing a trailer

Three woman are all sentenced to death by firing squad. A brunette, a redhead, and a blonde...

The firing squad was called to shoot all the girls.

The brunette went first. The executor said, "We will shoot you on 3. 1...2..." Before the man said three, the brunette yelled, "TORNADO!"

Everyone looked away, and she ran to safety.

The firing squad then went to the redhead. The executor said, "We will shoot you on 3. 1...2..." "FLOOD!" the redhead screamed.

Everyone looked away, and she ran to safety.

The blonde, noticing what the other girls did, knew what she had to do. The executor said, "We will shoot you on 3. 1...2..."

"FIRE!!!" the blonde screamed...

What did the teenage tornado say to his parents?

Nothing. He just stormed off.

3 girls were being exucuted....

...The first girl was getting ready to be shot. The guard yelled,"Ready aim-"The girl yelled," Tornado! Tornado!!" The guard turned around she escaped. The second girl was being exucuted the guard yelled,"Ready aim-" She yelled,"Huirricane!! Hurricane!!" The guard turned around she was gone. The 3rd girl was being exucuted the guard yelled,"Ready aim-" The girl yelled,"Fire!!Fire!"...

What do a Texas tornado and an Oklahoma divorce have in common?

Either way someone's losing a trailer.

Four former U.S. presidents...

Four former U.S. presidents are caught in a horrible tornado that hits a state funeral they're all attending in Kansas.

Suddenly, all of them are blown off to Oz.

They finally make it to the Emerald City and come before the Great and Powerful Oz.

What brings you before the great Wizard of Oz?

Jimmy Carter steps forward timidly: I've come for some courage.

No problem! says the Wizard. Who is next?

Ronald Reagan steps forward, Well…I…I think I need a heart.

Done, says the Wizard.

Who comes next before the great and powerful Oz?

Up steps George W. Bush, who says, I'm told by the American people that I need a brain.

Not a problem! says the Wizard. Consider it done.

There is a great silence in the hall.

Bill Clinton is just standing there, looking around, but doesn't say a word.

Irritated, the Wizard finally asks, What do you want?

Ummm, he says quietly, is Dorothy around?

Why did the mad scientist deliberately create a huge fire tornado?

Some people just want to watch the whirled burn.

What's the similarity between a blonde and a tornado?

In the beginning there's a lot of sucking and blowing but then she takes half your house

How does a tornado tell the time?

It checks the tornado watch.

Did you hear about the tornado that swept through the cemetery?

Hundreds dead.

Four U.S. presidents are caught in a horrible tornado...

Four U.S. presidents are caught in a horrible tornado, that hits a state funeral they're all attending in Kansas.

Suddenly, all of them are blown off to Oz.

They finally make it to the Emerald City and come before the Great and Powerful Oz.


What brings you before the great Wizard of Oz?

Jimmy Carter steps forward timidly: I've come for some courage.

No problem! says the Wizard. Who is next?

Ronald Reagan steps forward, Well…I…I think I need a heart.

Done, says the Wizard.

Who comes next before the great and powerful Oz?

Up steps George W. Bush, who says, I'm told by the American people that I need a brain.

Not a problem! says the Wizard. Consider it done.

There is a great silence in the hall.

Bill Clinton is just standing there, looking around, but doesn't say a word.

Irritated, the Wizard finally asks, What do you want?

Ummm, he says quietly, is Dorothy around?

firing squad

Three prisoners, an American, a German, and a Polak, are scheduled to be executed by firing squad. They bring out the American and stand him in front of the pole. He points and shouts, "Tornado!" They all look and the American runs away. Next, they place the German in front of the firing squad. He yells "Earthquake!" They all hit the dust and the German escapes. Next up is the Polak. He looks around and shouts "Fire!"

There was a Brunette , Redhead and a blonde getting ready for Execution.

The Brunette was marched to her final place, the firing squad's guns on her. The commander said

"Ready"

"Aim"

then the Brunette screamed "EARTHQUAKE", the firing squad looked around, and the brunette ran away and escaped.

The Redhead was marched to her final place, the firing squad's guns on her. The commander said

"Ready"

"Aim"

then the Readhead screamed "TORNADO!", the firing squad looked around, and the readhead ran away and escaped.

The Blonde was marched to her final place, the firing squad's guns on her. The commander said

"Ready"

"Aim"
then the Blonde then thought of her disaster, thought of one, then screamed "FIRE!!"

If there's a tornado, you should go to the Cowboy's Stadium.

Because there's no chance of a touchdown there!

What's the difference between a tornado and a redneck divorce?

Nothing. Either way they're losing the trailer.

What is the most offensive coffee to tornado victims?

House blend.

Did you hear about the tornado that blew through the strip club?

It was a real titty-twister!

A brunette, a redhead, and a blonde are being chased by police.

As they are running, they get cornered by the police with their guns trained on the trio. The brunette, thinking quickly, points behind the police and screams "Look, a tornado!". So the police look. While they are distracted, the brunette escapes. The redhead, seeing an opportunity, shouts "Look, a tsunami!". So the police look. While they are distracted, the redhead escapes. The blonde, seeing it work for her friends, shouts "Fire!". So the police fire.

Blonde, Brunette, and a Redhead

So a blonde, a brunette, and a redhead committed some major crimes and were sentenced to death by the firing squad. The jailer come up to the redhead and takes her to where she needs to stand and asks her,
"Any last words?"
"Nope," replies the redhead.
The jailer says, "ready, aim, ...."
The redhead yells out, "TORNADO!!!"
They all look around but the redhead is gone.

The jailer, now angry, goes and gets the brunette and asks her, "any last words?"
"Nope," replies the brunette.
The jailer says, "ready, aim, ..."
The brunette yells out, "EARTHQUAKE!!!"
Everyone looks around but the brunette is now gone.

The blonde is now thinking to herself, "oh I get it, they are doing natural disasters!!" So the jailer comes and gets her, now furious beyond belief. "Any last words?" he asks.
"Nope," the blonde replies with a smile on her face.
So the jailer says, "ready, aim, ..."
The blonde yells out, "FIRE!!!"......

The tornado warning siren has just stopped going off

That's either good or terrible

How are a black man and a tornado similar

It only takes one to ruin a good neighbourhood

A classic one

An Englishman, a Frenchman, and a Swede are all captured and need to be killed by a firing squad.

The Englishman is the first to go up, and the countdown is given. 3... 2... but before they can fire, the Englishman yells, Avalanche! and all of the firing squad is distracted and then the Englishman escapes.

The Frenchman is next, and the countdown is given. 3....2... but before they can fire, the Frenchman yells, Tornado! and all of the firing squad is distracted and then the Frenchman escapes.

Finally, it's the Swede's turn. The countdown is given. 3.....
2.... but before they can say 1 the Swede yells Fire!

How are a tornado and an Arkansas divorce alike?

Whichever one happens, somebody's going to lose a trailer.

What do a tornado and a redneck wedding have in common?

Either way you lose a motorhome.

What happens when you play a country song backwards?

You get back your dog, your girl, your truck, your home....

Sorry it's an old one, I saw the tornado joke and it reminded me.

One day a giant tornado went through Austria...

...but luckily all the children were already in the basement.

I was in a tornado.

It sucked.

Days after a massive F5 tornado hits Mississippi..

...financial experts estimate it did over 50 million dollars worth of good.

What's the difference between a Southern wedding and a Southern tornado?

Nothing - either way someone's gonna lose a trailer

*shamelessly stolen from Robin Williams

Where's the safest place for shelter during a tornado in Detroit?

The Pontiac Silverdome, there hasn't been a touchdown there in years.

What do a hurricane in North Florida, a tornado in Oklahoma, and a divorce in East Texas have in common?

Someone's going to lose a mobile home

What do you call a windmill that's been swallowed by a tornado?

A wind meal

what do a divorce and a tornado have in common in west virginia?

either way you lose the trailer

So a tornado tore through a trailor park, and caused 1000s of dollars of...

...improvements.

Blonde Execution

Three women are getting executed by firing squad for committing a crime. One is a brunette, one is a redhead, and one is blonde. First the brunette is brought up onto the stage, with the squad assembled in front of her. She is asked for her last words, and she points behind the crowd and yells, "Tornado!" Everybody turns to look, and the brunette escapes.
The next day, the redhead is brought up onto the stage to be executed, with the same setup. When asked for her last words, she yells, "Lightning!" Everybody turns to look, and the redhead escapes.
The day after that, the blonde is brought up onto the stage. She is asked for her last words, and the blonde looks behind the firing squad, and yells, "Fire!

3 criminals are about to be executed by firing squad

The first one is told to get in front and the marshal count down. 3! 2! 1! The prisoner shouts TORNADO and points behind the soldiers. When the soldiers turn around the prisoner runs away.

The marshal isn't pleased and orders the second prisoner to the line. He counts down 3! 2! 1! The prisoner shouts EARTHQUAKE and points behind the soldiers. When the soldiers turn around the second prisoner runs away.

The Marshall is furious at this point and orders the third prisoner to the line. No tricks! He yells and begins counting. 3! 2! 1! The prisoner shouts FIRE and points behind the soldiers as they fire.

How are a Texas Tornado and a Tennessee Divorce the same?

Someone's going to loose a trailer

What do black people and a tornado have in common?

It only takes one to ruin a neighborhood.

What does a tornado and a woman have in common?

It starts with a little blowing but at the end your house is gone

How is marriage like a tornado?

At first there is a lot of sucking and blowing, but when it's over your house is gone.

What do you call a tornado holding a spork?

The Mersenne Twister.

Trump, Pence, and Paul Ryan and traveling together

President Trump, Vice President Pence, and Speaker of the House Paul Ryan are traveling together in a presidential convoy. A tornado comes along, sweeps up their vehicle and launches them hundreds of yards away.


When they regain consciousness they realize they've been transported to the magical Land of Oz.


They decide to go see the famous Wizard of Oz. The Wizard is known for granting wishes.


Pence says, "I'm going to ask the Wizard for a brain."


Paul Ryan adds, "I'm going to ask the Wizard for a heart."


Trump looks around and asks, "Where's Dorothy?"

Did you know that tornadoes can displace shellfish?

Apparently the locals in danger areas are able to identify oncoming bad weather due to the shellfish preceding it.

They call it the clam before the storm.

I heard a tornado hit Texas...

...and did millions of dollars worth of improvements.

Did you hear about the tornado that hit the trailer court in Little Rock?

It destroyed the Governor's mansion.

Did you hear about the tornado who got arrested?

They got him for shoplifting.

How are tornados and a Tennessee divorce alike?

In either one, someone's going to lose a trailer home.

Someone told me that when there is a tornado, to hide in a location without windows.

Such as a bathroom or basement. Replied that an Apple store would work as well.

What do a wife and a tornado have in common?

First, they suck. Then, they blow. Finally, they take half your house.

How to make Tornado jokes?

We have collected gags and puns about Tornado to have fun with. Do you want to stand out in a crowd with a good sense of humour joking about Tornado? If Yes here are a lot more hilarious lines and funny Tornado pick up lines to share with friends.

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