Tops Jokes
65 tops jokes and hilarious tops puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about tops that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Check out this selection of the funniest jokes you can find! Whether you love puns, wordplay, or quick wit, this collection of jokes is sure to make you laugh. From classic four tops and ugg jokes to unique takes on atop and scarves humor, this list of the best jokes has something for everyone!
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Funniest Tops Short Jokes
Short tops jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The tops humour may include short topped jokes also.
- My ten-year-old daughter came up with this at dinner tonight: What do you get if put a copy of Macbeth on top of a dictionary? A play on words.
- The US is having so many disasters and tragedies Youd almost think it was built on top of thousands of ancient indian burial grounds.
- I'm pleased to announce Reddit has achieved its goal in becoming one of the top 10 green companies in the world! The front page is now made up of over 90% recycled content
- Difference between a cult and a religion In a cult, there's a guy at the top that knows it's a scam.
In a religion, that guy is dead. - I bet my butcher $1,000 that he couldn't reach the beef on the top shelf without a ladder. He said the steaks were too high.
- A physicist sees a person on the top of a very tall building. "Don't do it! You have so much potential!"
- Make fun of Kim Kardashians baby name choice for 'North West' if you want... But that child is going straight to the top...
And slightly to the left... - TIL it's possible to jump without a parachute from the top of the Grand Canyon all the way to the bottom. But not twice.
- I bet my butcher $50 that he couldn't reach the meat on the top shelf. He said "No, the steaks are too high".
- If apple released iphone 8 and 10 this year Would it release nine eleven next year
Edit : my first 24 hours top 10 thanks all
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Tops One Liners
Which tops one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with tops? I can suggest the ones about atop and highs.
- The US has placed 18th for math… It sounds bad, I'm just glad we hit top ten.
- What would happen if a piano fell on top of you? You'd b-flat.
- TIL The U.S is #18 in mathematics worldwide. At least we're in the top 10.
- What I if told you… That you read the top line wrong?
- My doctor told me I am anorexic Now I have that to deal with on top of being fat
- Don't ever go to the top of the bell curve. Everyone there is mean.
- I've made an app to loosen the top of a ketchup bottle It's an open sauce project
- I couldn't make it to the top of the tower in France. I fell.
- I was lonely until I glued a coffee cup on top of my car Now everyone waves at me
- Why does Bernie Sanders hate icebergs? Because only the top 1% can stay above water.
- What do you call a gold fish wearing a top-hat? Sofishticated
- What do you call the top wealthiest people in Mexico? The Juan percent.
- Top 13 facts you NEVER knew about non-conductors. #7 won't shock you.
- I cut the top off of Mt. Everest. I only wanted to take a peak.
- I can't put anymore toppings on my pizza... There's not mushroom
Four Tops Jokes
Here is a list of funny four tops jokes and even better four tops puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- I just got myself a Motown fridge It stays at a steady Three Degrees, Four Tops.
- I think I've been doing Motown jokes for about three years, Maybe four tops...
- It's going to be a cold day today in Motown...... Three Degrees, Four Tops.
- What goes on top of a hill with three legs and comes down with four? A monkey that gets turned on by altitude.
My contribution to the lawyer and blonde joke. - How long is your hair? I'm not sure, I've never measured it.
But off the top of my head, I'd say four inches. - What's big, green, has four legs and would kill you if it fell out of a tree on top of you? A snooker table
- Everyone's bummed Summer is ending, but I like the Fall! It's one of my top four favorite seasons.
- I went to a 70s disco last night. The place was freezing. Must have been Three Degrees... Four Tops.
- What's the temperature like in Motown during winter? Three degrees, four tops
- It's really cold this year in Motown... Three Degrees... Four Tops
Hilarious Fun Tops Jokes That Will Have You Rolling with Laughter
What funny jokes about tops you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean bottom and top jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make tops pranks.
So..the wife and I were in town shopping....
..and as we came out of a store, three girls aged between 18 and 20 walked by, wearing tiny cropped tops and short short skirts. One of them, a tall blonde, had really fantastic, long, toned and tanned legs.
I gently nudged my wife and said "I bet you wish you still had legs like that!".
She got really upset with me..in fact I could still hear her sobbing as I wheeled her up the ramp into the next store.
(OC) I started stealing granite tops from peoples kitchens and replacing them with fakes...
I keep having troubles getting the counterfeit.
(Its probably been done before because the pun is so obvious but I haven't yet heard it.)
All guys with huge biceps walk around in tank tops, which is s**....
You don't see me walking around with no pants on.
A woman asked her husband for a divorce after he said they needed to go get new counter tops.
She knew he was taking her for granite.
This hot weather...
The thing I love most about this hot weather is the crop tops and short skirts...
Although it does make me look a bit gay.
Why don't Canadians wear tank tops?
They don't have the right to bare arms
Did you know tank tops were i**... until the U.S constitution came out?
It gave people the right to bare arms.
Three pregnant women were knitting tops for their soon-to-be born.
One posh one says "I'm taking vitamin A, as I want my baby to have strong bones and teeth". The other posh one says "I'm taking vitamin C, as I want my baby to have a good constitution and good heart". The chavvy one says "I'm taking Thalidomide cos I can't knit arms".
I've come to realize my job, building glass work tops, is clearly counter productive.
What do you call someone who tops Darth Vader during s**...?
An Invader.
I heard it's impossible to ban Tank tops in the US...
Something about the right to bare arms...
If the Founding Fathers were alive today, what would they be doing?
clawing at the tops of their coffins and screaming, probably.
I long for the innocence of youth, back when I was happy just playing with a slinky all day
Things are so different now.
It's like, 3...4 hours tops and I'm bored with the thing.
Why do Americans weight lift in tank tops?
Because they like to exercise their right to bare arms.
Why do people in tank tops support the 2nd Amendment?
They believe in the right to bare arms.
Tank tops shouldn't be against school dress codes
After all, we have a right to bare arms.
What's the difference between a Tupperware store and the gay male community?
In a Tupperware store, there's an equal number of tops and bottoms
Why is top-shelf beef such a risky investment?
Because the steaks are so high.
I wear tank tops because of the Second Amendment.
I sure do love my right to bare arms.
Walmart ran out of tops and sandals so they put a sign on the front entrance.
"No shirts, no shoes, no service."
Police and driver.
Police officer: Your car is too heavily overloaded. I simply cannot let you continue like that. I'm going to have to take away your driver's license.
Driver: You're kidding me, right? The license can only weigh one ounce tops!
Women tell each other they have "cute tops" all the time.
But I tell one woman she has a cute bottom...
I can't believe girls at school can't wear tank tops, it's totally violates the second amendment.
Don't they have a right to bare arms?
Crop tops are very efficient.
They don't let anything go to waist.
Why do lots of Americans wear tank tops?
Because they have the right to bare arms
Last night I bought my friend a lifetime supply of Peach Ice Cream
He has cancer, in Hospice, and the Doctors have given him two weeks tops.
I thought my wife was clothes shopping but she was mostly just looking at tops.
Apparently she was just blousing.
What does the dinosaur do when his sister gone outside?
He tries Sarah's tops.
What do you call a dinosaur who likes crossdressing?
Try Sarah's Tops
what do soldiers wear in the summer?
tank tops
My car tops out at 68 Mph...
Because at 69 it blows a rod.
Two dogs have a home construction business and work on the tops of houses together.
I guess you could say they work on woofs.
Did you know that nobody's having i**... at the Quantum gay club?
Apparently, all tops turn into bottoms.
That explains the weak interaction.
We're witnessing the world in decay.
It's strange, and I find no charm in it.
Ok, I'm out.
I'll be having some Lepton tea.
Why do Americans always wear Tank Tops?
Cause of thier right to Bare Arms
I wanted to start a line of men's shirts made solely out of vegetables.
But it doesn't seem that many guys are interested in Crop Tops.
I asked my friend why he always wears tank tops...
He told me he has the right to bare arms.
Roommates Sarah and Beth invite Mary over for drinks
Roommates Sarah and Beth invite their friend Mary over for drinks. They are drinking wine and having a great time, when Mary spills her drink on her shirt. Mary asks Beth if she could borrow one of her tops. Beth laughs and says you'd never fit in one of my shirts, you're the size of a dinosaur!Try Sarah's tops.
