Top Gear Jokes
26 top gear jokes and hilarious top gear puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about top gear that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Quick Jump To
Funniest Top Gear Short Jokes
Short top gear jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The top gear humour may include short car talk jokes also.
- Why is Joey Tribbiani a presenter on Top Gear? It makes no sense, he's not a good driver, he and all his friends are always stuck in second gear
- Matt LeBlanc was just announced as the newest presenter on BBC's Top Gear It may be a challenge for him, on his last show it's like he was always stuck in second gear
- Here in Britain, we've got May & Hammond in the Government now - All we need is Clarkson and we've got Top Gear back again.
- Matt LeBlanc got fired from top gear Matt LeBlanc got fired from top gear because he was always stuck in second gear.
- What does Jeremy Clarkson have in common with Amy Winehouse? He can't do 'top gear' anymore!
- In relation to the top stories in the news. Top gear is cancelled in England but at least top gear is legal in Ireland.
- When I found out Top Gear was being cancelled... I was so shocked it was like a punch in the face.
- What do the rioters in Baltimore and Top Gear have in common? They'll both be dead in a few years
Share These Top Gear Jokes With Friends
Top Gear One Liners
Which top gear one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with top gear? I can suggest the ones about hot wheels and gears.
- Jeremy Clarkson decided not to stay with Top Gear, but James May
- What do Whitney Houston and Jeremy Clarkson have in common? They were both on Top Gear.
- What was Jeremy Clarkson on during Top Gear? SPEEEED!
- What comes after Top Gear? The Grand Tour.
- The new Top Gear is awesome... lol.
- What do you get when you minus Jeremy Clarkson from Top Gear...? ... A smile !
- Jeremy Clarkson won't be on Top Gear anymore but James May
Top Gear Funny Jokes And Hilarious Puns.
What funny jokes about top gear you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean racing car jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make top gear pranks.
Two bricks of salt visit a meat factory...
And while they are looking down at one of the bone grinders, one of the salt brick accidentally falls down into the machine. The other salt brick watches in panic as his friend gets s**... into the blades and gears. After a while, the salt brick comes out from the other side of the grinding machine, all ground into pieces and powder.
"Oh my god! Are you okay Jimmy?" The salt brick on the top asks.
"Oh yeah I'm fine."
What do you get if you drop a piano on an army base?
A flat major.
What do you get if you drop a piano down a mineshaft?
A flat minor.
What do you get if you drop a piano on a beehive?
B flat.
What do you get if you drop a piano on a Morris Marina?
An episode of Top Gear.
Bungee Jumping
Two guys in America are bungee jumping on a bridge, they meet at the top and say, "hey this is fun, I bet you they never heard about this in Mexico."
A few months go by and the two have set up a bungee jumping business, ready to start testing it out. There is a big crowd at the bottom of the bridge, all are curious.
One of them puts on the bungee gear and the other stays at the top to catch him.
The guys testing jumps and comes back up with a few bruises, the guy at the top fails to catch him, the tester goes back down.
One more time the tester comes back up, it appears he has a few broken bones, the guy at the top fails to catch him again, the tester goes back down.
Finally the tester comes back up, more bruises, more broken bones, the guy at the top finally catches him and asks what happened?
The tester can barely speak because he is in pain, but quietly says, "What is Piñata?!?"
These two guys had just gotten divorces and they swore they would never have anything to do with women again.
They were best friends and they decided to move up to Alaska as far north as they could go and never look at a woman again.
They got up there and went into a trader’s store and told him, "Give us enough supplies to last two men for one year."
The trader got the gear together and on top of each one’s supplies he laid a board with a hole in it with fur around the hole.
The guys said "What’s that board for?"
The trader said, "Well, where you’re going there are no women and you might need this."
They said "No way! We’ve sworn off women for life!"
The trader said, "Well. take the boards with you, and if you don’t use them. I’ll refund your money next year."
"Okay," they said and left.
Next year this guy came into the trader’s store and said "Give me enough supplies to last one man for one year."
The trader said, "Weren’t you in here last year with a partner?"
"Yeah" said the guy.
"Where is he?" asked the trader.
"I shot him" said the guy.
"Why?"
"I caught him in bed with my board."