Toothpaste Jokes
84 toothpaste jokes and hilarious toothpaste puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about toothpaste that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Looking for something to freshen up your April Fools prank? Toothpaste jokes are sure to be a hit! From Colgate-sponsored university toothpaste to elephant toothpaste and parodying with grout and cavities – find out all the creative ways to have fun with toothpaste and toothbrushes!
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Funniest Toothpaste Short Jokes
Short toothpaste jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The toothpaste humour may include short toothbrush jokes also.
- A girl walks into a dry cleaner She drops off her dress and turns to leave. The owner says, "Come again!". She says, "No it was toothpaste this time."
- A blonde drops off her dress to the dry cleaners The lady says, "Come Again!"
The blonde says, "No, it's toothpaste this time." - Why do only 9/10 dentists recommend Crest toothpaste? The last dentist is busy killing a lion
- Don't buy Colgate whitening toothpaste! It says guaranteed whiteness in 14 days.
It's been 2 weeks and I'm still Asian. - If dentists make all their money from bad teeth... ....why should we use toothpaste that 8 out of 10 dentists recommend.
- I'll Never Buy Colgate Toothpaste Ever Again... It says "guaranteed whiteness" after 2 weeks... It has been 4 weeks and I am still Asian.
- A girl walks into a dry cleaner She goes inside to drop off her blouse. Before she leaves the owner says, "Come again!". The girl replied, "No, it's toothpaste this time."
- A blonde drops off her dress at the dry cleaners, The dry cleaner says come again
The blonde says it's toothpaste this time - My new toothpaste is false advertising It said, "Guaranteed whiteness in 14 days."
Well, it's been 15 days and I'm still Asian. - My girlfriend pointed next to her on the bed and said come here . I took a closer look and it was actually just toothpaste.
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Toothpaste One Liners
Which toothpaste one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with toothpaste? I can suggest the ones about brushing teeth and mouthwash.
- Did you hear about the big toothpaste scandal? The media are calling it Colgate...
- I am like Colgate toothpaste when I dance Noticeably White
- I dropped my toothpaste! ...Tom exclaimed, crestfallen.
- My extra sensitive toothpaste ... doesn't like it when I use other toothpastes.
- What type of instrument do you find in the bathroom? A tuba toothpaste
- What do you call it when Richard Nixon hides the toothpaste? Colgate
- How did the man feel when he dropped his tube of toothpaste? Crest-fallen
- What do you call a controversy surrounding toothpaste. Colgate.
- How do Tommy feel when his toothpaste landed on the floor? Crestfallen.
- What kind of toothpaste does Thor use? Arm and Hammer.
- I always feel bad using a new toothpaste In front of my extra sensitive one.
- What do Polish Hussars and toothpaste have in common? They both fight against Tartars.
- Slipped on a tube of toothpaste this morning. I was crestfallen.
- "I dropped my toothpaste"... ...he said, crestfallen.
- There's been a toothpaste scandal. The press have called it Col-Gate.
Colgate Toothpaste Jokes
Here is a list of funny colgate toothpaste jokes and even better colgate toothpaste puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- I am never recommending anyone Colgate Whitening toothpaste ever again... I have been using it for two weeks and I'm still Indian.
- My friend got a job recently as the security guard at a toothpaste factory... He's a Colgate-keeper
- Which female rapper is the spokesperson for Colgate toothpaste? Clean Ma-teefa
- Did you hear what toothpaste brands are trying to cover up? Well, it's quite the scandal. Various tabloids such as the New York Post and Daily Mail are coining it as Colgate.
- What do elves use for toothpaste? OrnaMINT
just kidding its Colgate - How do you send a Conservative into a frenzy? Buy Colgate toothpaste at Target!
Uplifting Toothpaste Jokes to have Hilarious Fun with Friends
What funny jokes about toothpaste you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean dental floss jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make toothpaste pranks.
What is 6 inches long, hard, goes into your mouth back and fourth, and has white stuff at the end.
A toothbrush with toothpaste
Don't buy whitening toothpaste
It says guaranteed whiteness in 14 days.
15 days have come and gone...
and I am still asian.
Someone broke into my house last night...
They took all my soap, shampoo, deodorant and toothpaste. They made a clean getaway.
A blonde drops off a shirt at the cleaners...
A blonde drops off a shirt at the cleaners. On the way out of the door the lady at the counter says come again. The blonde says no, its toothpaste this time.
I ran out of toothpaste recently
So I've resorted to brushing with soap. It's pretty g**..., but on the plus side I've really cut back on my swearing.
My toothpaste says it guarantees whiteness within two weeks..
Yet after two weeks I'm still asian
You must be single.
A young woman was shopping at her local supermarket. She puts her items on the conveyer: A toothbrush, toothpaste, a half-gallon of 2% milk and a frozen pizza. The cashier calmly states, "You must be single." The woman looks at her items and back to the cashier, "Wow! How did you know that?" The cashier responds, "Because you you're ugly AF."
I had one of those horrible moments this morning when I confused my wife's hair removal cream with the toothpaste.
Mind you, my legs have never smelt so minty!
What toothpaste do ants use?
MicroScope
I went to the doctor for a rash...
Doctor: What toiletries are you using?
Me: Steven's soap, Steven's shampoo, Steven's toothpaste and Steven's toothbrush.
Doctor: Huh, so is Steven's a foreign brand?
Me: No, Steven is my roommate.
What kind of toothpaste do priests recommend?
o**...-B
A blonde walk into the dry clean
She put her dress on the counter and asked for it to be cleaned. The guy behind the counter said as she was leaving "come again" she turned around and replied "no, it's toothpaste this time"
Boy: Do you spit or s**...?
Girl:WHAT?! Spit or s**... what?
Boy:You know... when you have it... in your mouth
Girl:You're so dirty!! Ofcourse I s**....
Boy:And what about swallowing toothpaste makes you so clean?
What kind of toothpaste does the k**... use?
Crest pro-white
A blonde goes into a drycleaners...
Picking up her dress she turns to leave.
The assistant says "Come again"
"No, this time it's only toothpaste!"
I call my toothpaste "Death"....
....then I tell women, "I had a brush with Death this morning."
Bought some extra sensitive toothpaste the other day...
It got really jealous when I used a different toothpaste this morning
A blonde dropped her shirt in at the cleaners... "come again" the shop assistant said as the lady left...
"No just toothpaste", she replied.
A kid asks his dad how much toothpaste is in a tube. He says "i don't know..."
Kid: "it's almost from the bathroom to the kitchen!"
Everyone knows part of the way toothpaste works is by equalizing the acidic substances in your mouth.
I mean, it's basic science.
The dentist asked me if I had sensitive toothpaste at home.
I told her toothpaste and I don't talk about our feelings.
(PS: This was the actual conversation I had with my dentist just last night!)
What would be a good toothpaste slogan in Gotham?
I believe in Pepso-Dent.
TIL that with every breath I take, about 4 people on this planet die.
I wonder if I should try a different toothpaste.
My house was robbed last night. The burglars took everything except my soap, shower gel, towel, toothpaste, and mouthwash.
Dirty b**....
Three guys just met eachother and they have a conversation about different sorts of paste
The first guy says: "I know everything about tomato paste, because I own an Italian restaurant."
The second guy says: "I know everything about toothpaste, because I am a dentist."
The third guy says: "I know everything about copy-paste, because I am a Redditor."
How can you tell toothpaste was invented in Alabama?
Otherwise it would have been called teethpaste.
A blonde walks into the Dry Cleaners.
She asks the woman at the counter, " I need to have an outfit washed. Can I have it ready for tonight?"
The clerk is quite busy and slightly distracted. She confusingly looks up from her work and asks, "Come again?"
The blonde replies, "No, it's toothpaste this time."
For past 10 years my wife has been complaining to me about not putting the cap back on the toothpaste...
On our anniversary, I decided to change this bad habit and make my wife happy.
For a week I was diligent, always capping the toothpaste.
I was expecting my wife to thank me, but she never did it.
Finally, last night she turned and looked at me and said:
Why did you stop brushing your teeth ?? !!!
A blonde women heads to the dry cleaners
The Dry cleaner women says: Come again? The Women: No it's toothpaste.
Woman goes to dry cleaners to clean her clothes, the lady at the counter says come again
Woman: No its toothpaste this time.
For past 20 years, my wife has been complaining about my not putting the cap back on the toothpaste.
This anniversary, I decided to change this bad habit and make my wife happy.
For a week, I was diligent, always capping the toothpaste.
I was expecting my wife to thank me, but she never did it.
Finally, last night, she turned and looked at me and said - "Why have you stopped brushing your teeth since a week ??"
Marriage is a social crime, I tell you.
What do you get when you s**... toothpaste?
excremint
My toothpaste fell off of my brush and right onto the floor before I got to brush
I was Crestfallen
Dropped my suit pants off at the dry cleaners….
On my way out, the lady said come again!
To which I replied, No, just toothpaste this time.
Dentists make a living from people with bad teeth.
Why would you use a toothpaste that 9/10 dentist recommend?
There are 2 kinds of people...
Those that squeeze the toothpaste tube from the bottom
And
Godforsaken Sociopaths
