Tooth Pull Jokes
43 tooth pull jokes and hilarious tooth pull puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about tooth pull that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Funniest Tooth Pull Short Jokes
Short tooth pull jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The tooth pull humour may include short pulled tooth jokes also.
- A patient says to a dentist : " you pulled out a tooth in like 3 seconds and you get the money, not fair! What an easy career" The dentist replies: " sounds right. Let's make it 3 hours long."
- What happens when you try to pull out a tooth using the "string and doorknob trick" or a pair of pliers? You get fired from your job as a dentist.
- A dental doctor with patient A woman says to the dentist "I don't know which is worse having a tooth pulled or having a Baby." The dentist says "Well make up your mind I gotta adjust the chair!"
- Why didn't the patient sue the dentist for pulling the wrong tooth? Because it was accidental.
- What did the judge ask when he went to the dentist? Do you swear to pull the tooth, the whole tooth and nothing but the tooth?
- My wife's been nagging me to see the dentist about a tooth extraction. She says getting me to go is like pulling teeth.
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Tooth Pull One Liners
Which tooth pull one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with tooth pull? I can suggest the ones about pulling teeth and pulls.
- My dentist pulled out the wrong tooth. He says it's accidental.
- My dentist pulled out the wrong tooth It was accidental
- They said I could never learn how to extract a tooth But I managed to pull it off
- What did the dentist say when he had to pull a tooth? "I'm sorry for your floss."
- Why did Al Gore go to the dentist for a tooth pulling? He had an Inconvenient Tooth.
- What did the dentist say when he pulled the wrong tooth? Sorry, that was accidental.
- My dentist was a little nervous while working on my bad tooth But he pulled it off
Tooth Pull Funny Jokes And Hilarious Puns.
What funny jokes about tooth pull you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean tooth jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make tooth pull pranks.
A dentist told a mother, "I'm sorry madam, but I'll have to charge you a $100 for pulling your boy's tooth." The mother exclaimed, "A $100! You said it was only $20!" "Yes," replied the dentist, "but he yelled so loudly that he scared four other patients out of the office!"
A woman and her husband interrupted their vacation to go to the dentist.
"I want a tooth pulled, and I don’t want no vacaine because I’m in a big hurry," the woman said.
"Just extract the tooth as quickly as possible, and we’ll be on our way."
The dentist was quite impressed.
"You’re certainly a courageous woman," he said.
"Which tooth is it?" The woman turned to her husband and said, "Show him your tooth, dear."
A guy walks into a bar and notices a large pile of $10 bills ....
He asks the bartender what the pile of money is about, and the bartender tells him, "We have a long-running contest here. You put in $10, and if you can complete three tasks, you get to walk away with the whole pile."
"What are the three tasks?" asks the man.
"Well, first you have to go over there in the corner, grab that large bottle of tequila, and c**...-a-lug the whole thing in one go without making a face.
"Second, you have to go out back where we keep Killer, our crazy mongrel wild dog, and extract one of his teeth using only your bare hands.
"If you get this far, you're going up to the fourth floor. There's an 80-year-old woman living there. She's a v**..., and you have to deflower her."
"Fine," says the man, "I can do this." He throws down his $10, goes over to the corner, grabs the tequila, and downs the whole thing without making a face. The bar patrons give him a light round of applause.
Already feeling tipsy, he stumbles to the back door. For the next three minutes, horrible, guttural animal sounds emanate. He stumbles back in, hair wild, clothes torn to shreds, covered in cuts, bruises, and blood, and growls, "Alright, now where's that old lady who needs her tooth pulled?"
A Girls First Time
As you lie back your muscles tighten. You put him off for a while searching for an excuse, but he refuses to be swayed as he approaches you.
He asks if you're afraid and you shake your head bravely. He has had more experience, but it's the first time his finger has found the right place.
He probes deeply and you shiver; your body tenses; but he's gentle like he promised he'd be.
He looks deeply within your eyes and tells you to trust him-he's done this many times before.
His cool smile relaxes you and you open wider to give him more room for an easy entrance. You begin to plead and beg him to hurry, but he slowly takes his time, wanting to cause you as little pain as possible.
As he presses closer, going deeper, you feel the tissue give way; pain surges throughout your body and you feel the slight trickle of blood as he continues. He looks at you concerned and asks you if it's too painful.
Your eyes are filled with tears but you shake your head and nod for him to go on. He begins going in and out with skill but you are now too numb to feel him within you. After a few moments, you feel something bursting within you and he pulls it out of you, you lay panting, glad to have it over. He looks at you and smiling warmly, tells you, with a chuckle; that you have been his most stubborn yet most rewarding experience.
You smile and thank your dentist. After all, it was your first time to have a tooth pulled.
The Dentist
A man and his wife walked into a dentist's office.
The man said to the dentist,
Doctor, I'm in a big hurry! I have two buddies sitting out in my car waiting for us to go play golf. So forget about the anaesthetic and just pull the tooth and be done with it. I don't have time to wait for the anaesthetic to work!
The dentist thought to himself,
My goodness--this sure is a very brave man, asking me to pull his tooth without using anything to kill the pain.
So the dentist asked him,
Which tooth is it, sir?
The man turned to his wife and said,
"Open your mouth, Honey, and show the doctor which tooth hurts."
A man is sentenced to 15 years in prison, but escapes after only 3 days
He's taken in front of a judge, who orders the prisoner to explain his actions. The prisoner says "Well your honor, the first day, they gave me a comb, then s**... off all my hair. The second day, they gave me a tooth brush, then pulled out all my teeth. The third day, they gave me a jock strap, I went over the wall". "Case dismissed" declares the judge
An American, an Englishman, a German and a Japanese go golfing on their annual meetup...
As they are playing, they hear a ringing sound. The American rushes to his golf bag and pulls out a mobile phone. He answers the phone and when the conversation is done, he explains to his friends, "My company needs to be in touch with me all the time, so I carry this fancy phone around with me." The other golfers are mildlyinterested.
As they continue playing, another ringing sound is heard. The Englishman puts his thumb to his ear and his last finger on his mouth and also has a conversation. When he is done he says "My company also needs to be in touch with me, so they installed a speaker on my thumb and a microphone on my last finger. The antenna is in my hat. The other golfers nod in approval at his technology.
Later in the day, yet another ringing sound is heard. The German tilts his head and starts talking. When he is done he says to the others, "To keep in contact with my company, there's a speaker in my ear canal and a microphone in my tooth. The antenna is in my spine." The other golfers are impressed at such marvels of technology.
As they are playing the last hole, a beeping sound is heard and the Japanese runs into the bushes. After he hasn't shown up for a while, the other golfers look for him and eventually find him squatting on the ground, pants down. "Oh, I'm sorry for intruding." Says one of them. "Oh, it's okay. I'm just waiting for a fax."
Guy walks into a bar...
A guy walks into a bar and asks the bartender for a drink. While he sits there he notices a jar full of money on the bar. Next to the jar is a sign that reads, "complete the challenge win the prize." Curious, the guy asks the bartender about the challenge. The bartender explains there are three parts that must be completed. First: Down a gallon of tequila straight in under five minutes. Second: An alligator out back has a terrible tooth and ache and the tooth has to be pulled. Third: Have s**... with the dirtiest h**... in the place. The guy thinks it over and he accepts the challenge. He downs the tequila in no time. Then he staggers out back and everyone in the bar hears an awful commotion. Then silence. The guy stumbles back in the door his clothes torn to sheds. He yells, "Now! Where's that h**... with the tooth ache?"
Bar Bet
A man walks into a bar that he has never been to before. He walks up to the bar and takes a seat. The bartender asks "What are you having". The man is about to respond when he sees a large pickle jar FILLED with cash. The man asks "What's that" the bartender responds "We have a challenge here, if you can complete the three part challenge the money is yours" The man thinks about it for a while and says "What's the challenge" the bartender says "Well first you have to drink a bottle of Jack" the man says "No problem" the bartender continues "Next there is a Rottweiler outside who has a rotten tooth and you have to pull it out" The man starts to get nervous but assures himself he can do it. "Finally" says the bartender "There is a 98 year old woman upstairs who has never been laid and you have to do her" the man shivers but says "Let's do it". The bartender hands him an un-opened bottle of Jack and the man quickly c**... it down. The man continues outside wobbling to the door and for the next several minutes all anyone can hear outside is barking followed by growling and finishing with the whining. The man stumbles back inside, with his shirt torn and bite marks all over his body says "Now whhheere is the oold lady with a sore tooth?"
Two Mothers Are Sitting Together At An Outdoor Café In Baghdad...
**Mother 1**: [*pulls out picture from purse*] "This is my son Abdullah. He would have been 25 now, but, alas... he became a martyr."
**Mother 2**: "Ah, yes I remember when he lost his first tooth..."
[*sighs*]
**Mother 1**: [*pulls out another picture*] "This is my son Hussein. He would have been 22 now, but, alas... he became a martyr."
**Mother 2**: "Ah, yes. I remember when he took his first steps..."
[*deep sigh*]
**Mother 1**: [*pulls out yet another picture*] "This is my son Muhammed. He would have been 18 now, but, alas... he became a martyr."
**Mother 2**: "Ah, yes. I remember when he was born..."
[*deepest sigh*]
"You know, they blow up so fast!"
At the dentist
The wife says, -I have to get a tooth pulled and I have no time for any anesthesia. Just pull the tooth out as quickly as you can so we can get going!
The dentist was really impressed, -You are indeed a brave woman! Which tooth is to be removed?
She turned to her old man, -Show him your tooth, dear!
Guy walks into a bar.. (long joke)
And asks for a drink. He notices a jar full of money and asks the bartender if he gets a lot of tips. Bartender explains that it's part of an ongoing bet. The man asks what he must do to win the money. The bartender states that the man must climb the oak tree behind the bar and grab a leaf from the very top, pull an abscessed tooth from a pit bull, and bang a 50 year old v**.... The man refuses.
After many drinks, the man finally accepts the bet. He climbs the tree with ease and brings the bartender a leaf. The man then stumbles to the back room where the dog is sleeping. After a lot of commotion, screaming, and yelping, the man returns. He says, "Now where's the lady with the abscessed tooth?"
A Brave Husband.
A husband and wife entered the dentist's office.
The husband said, "I want a tooth pulled. I don't want gas or Novocain because I'm in a terrible hurry. Just pull the tooth as quickly as possible. "
"You're a brave man," said the dentist. "Now, show me which tooth it is. "
The husband turns to his wife and says, "Open your mouth and show the dentist which tooth it is, dear. "
A couple arrives at the dentist for a tooth extraction.
"No fancy stuff, Doctor", says the man, "No gas or needles, or any of that. Just pull the tooth and get it over with".
"Wow", says the dentist, "You're certainly stoic, which tooth is it?"
The man turns to his wife, "Show him the tooth honey."
Topical Jokes for 1/31
The CEO of McDonald's has announced he'll be resigning later this year. It's the first time in history that a McDonald's employee has quit and given more than five seconds notice.
The New Hampshire lottery is selling scratch 'n sniff tickets that smell like bacon. The aroma is there to remind people that if they didn't waste their money on lottery tickets, they could afford to eat bacon.
In Alabama, a truck driver caused a mile-long traffic jam when he swerved off the road while trying to pull out a loose tooth. Drivers slowed down to look, because people in Alabama had never seen someone who has a tooth.
Suge Knight is suspected of running a man over with his car after an argument. The argument was about whether or not there's a pumpkin-flavored Jelly Belly.
...running over someone with your car seems crazy, but you have to keep in mind that Suge Knight's motto is Live every day like it's 'The Purge.'
A woman goes to the dentist....
and the dentist says "Looks like you need to have a tooth pulled." The woman says "I'd rather have a baby."
The dentist looks at her and says "Make up your mind, I'll have to adjust the chair."
A man walks into a bar...
A man walks into a bar and sees a jar full of $10 bills. He asks the bartender what all of that money was for, since there must have been over a thousand dollars in the jar. The bartender says that you can walk away with the whole jar if you complete his challenge: A. Drink an entire bottle of tequila, B. Outside, there is an alligator with a sore tooth, and you have to pull it out, C. Next door is a woman who has never had s**..., and you have to bang her.
The man says O.K., puts ten dollars in, downs the bottle of tequila, and stumbles out of the bar. Ten minutes later, he walks back in and says,
"Alright, now where's the woman with the sore tooth?"
A Man Walks Into a Bar
So a man walks into a bar and asks the bartender,"Hey got any specials tonight?" The bartender tells the man tonight there is a challenge, first you have to drink this glass of v**..., then you have to go out back and pull a tooth from an alligator, and finally you have to go upstairs and have s**... with a woman. The man at first says no way, but after a few drinks he decides to do the challenge. The bartender hands him the glass of v**... and he downs it. He then goes outside to the alligator. He's out there for a while and making a lot of noise. When he finally comes back in the bartender asks,"What took you so long?" The man replies, "Where is that woman who needs her tooth pulled?"
A man and his wife walked into a dentist's office
The man said to the dentist, "Doc, I'm in a hurry. I have two buddies sitting out in my car waiting for us to go play golf, so forget about the anesthetic and just pull the tooth and be done with it. We have a 10:00 AM tee time at the best golf course in town and its 9:30 already. I don't have time to wait for the anesthetic to work!"
The dentist thought to himself, my goodness, this is surely a very brave man asking to have his tooth pulled without using anything to kill the pain. So the dentist asked him, "Which tooth is it, sir?"
The man turned to his wife and said:
"Open your mouth, honey, and show him."
Have to charge you 25 dollars
Dentist: I'm sorry, madam, but I'll have to charge you twenty-five dollars for pulling your son's tooth.
Mother: Twenty-five dollars! But I thought you only charged five dollars for an extraction.
Dentist: I usually do. But your son yelled so loud, he scared four other patients out of the office.
A woman walked into the dentist's clinic very nervously and said, "I'm scared. I'd rather have a baby than get a tooth pulled out."
"Fine with me," said the dentist, "but I'll have to adjust the chair."
A lady goes to the dentist...
... he looks in her mouth and says "that tooth needs to come out".
She says "oh no I'd rather have a baby than have a tooth pulled!!"
He says "ok but make up your mind I need to adjust the chair"
A lady goes to the dentist with a sore tooth.
The dentist looks and says "you have a bad tooth we are going to have to pull it"
The lady says "I would rather be pregnant than have a tooth pulled"
The dentist replies "Make up your mind, I have to adjust the chair"