Toot Jokes
98 toot jokes and hilarious toot puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about toot that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Quick Jump To
Funniest Toot Short Jokes
Short toot jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The toot humour may include short toes jokes also.
- If I were a trumpet player I would constantly borrow other people's trumpets. I'd hate to toot my own horn
- I recently learned that humans farts have sounded the same since ancient Egypt. We share a toot in common.
- Music-related limerick A tutor who taught on the flute,
tried to teach two young tooters to toot.
Said the two to the tutor,
"Is it harder to toot or,
to tutor two tooters to toot?" - What do you call it after cowboys eat beans at high noon? A toot-out at the O.K. Corral.
(Don't be mean. Inspired by my 2 month old.) - I taught my pet dog to play the trumpet on the London Underground today He went from Barking to Tooting in about 15 minutes
- I saw a man on the London Underground, teaching his dog to play the trumpet. He went from Barking to Tooting
- There was once an Egyptian Pharaoh rumored to have never passed gas... His name was Toot-Uncommon.
- What did the Egyptian say to his friend when they both passed gas at the same time? We just had a toot in common
- A Tutor Who Tooted A tutor who tooted the flute
Tried to tutor two tooters to toot
Said the two to the tutor
Is it tougher to toot
Or to tutor two tooters to toot? - What did the Scottish woman do when she found a trumpet buried in her garden? She had to root-e-toot
Share These Toot Jokes With Friends
Toot One Liners
Which toot one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with toot? I can suggest the ones about toes foot and toil.
- Why are Egyptian saxophonists all such good friends? They've got a "toot in common."
- I can put both of my legs behind my head. Y'know, not to toot my own horn or anything.
- What do you call a woman of the night playing a trumpet? A prosti-toot
- What do you call an Egyptian Pharaoh who rarely farts? Toot-uncommon!
- What happened to the jazz player whose wife left him? He had to toot his own horn.
- Not to toot my own horn but.. I got my bottom 2 ribs removed
- My Egyptian friend and I have the exact same farts Toot in common
- What do u call it when a trumpet farts? A toot !
- What do you call an Eygptian Pharaoh that farts the same way as you? Toot in Common!!
- An original from my 7 year old What do you call a toot in the bath tub?
A bath bomb - Why is an Egyptian tomb like a train whistle? They have a toot in common.
- What name did they give the Egyptian pharaoh who rarely passed gas? Toot-uncommon
- How are Egyptians, trains, and butts similar? They've got toot in common.
- What do you call it when a pharaoh farts just like his dad? King Toot in common
- How do you use an ancient Egyptian doorbell? Toot and come in.
Rib-Tickling Toot Jokes that Bring Friends Together
What funny jokes about toot you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean otter jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make toot pranks.
How do you know that the toothbrush was invented in Arkansas?
Because anywhere else it would've been called a teethbrush.
You can tell the toothbrush was invented in Alabama
if it was invented anywhere else, it would've been called the teeth brush.
toothbrush origin
I suspect that the toothbrush was invented in the south,if it had been invented in the north, it would have been called a teethbrush
What did the tooth say to the booger?
What are you doing here?
There's been a toothpaste scandal.
The press have called it Col-Gate.
You know Toothpaste was invented in Alabama?
Anywhere else and it would have been called Teethpaste!
What did one Egyptian say to the other Egyptian after they both f**...?
Hey we have a toot in common.
Did you know the toothbrush was invented in West Virginia?
Anywhere else and it would have been called a teeth brush.
Did you know the toothbrush was invented in Alabama?
Otherwise it would have been called a teethbrush.
My new toothpaste reminds me of the united states next president
I can feel the burn
A toothless b**... walks into a pub and asks...
...is the bar tender here?
You can tell the toothbrush was invented in Kentucky...
Otherwise they would've called it a teethbrush!
How do we know the toothbrush was invented in west virginia?
if it was invented anywhere else it would be the teethbrush
I f**... like an Egyptian pharoah...
We have a toot in common.
Tooth Fairy
The only thing the tooth fairy teaches children is that they can sell body parts for money.
My toothpaste says it guarantees whiteness within two weeks..
Yet after two weeks I'm still asian
Two pharaohs f**... at the same time.
They had a toot in common.
Two toothpicks are walking the forest.
When all of a sudden a hedgehog walks by. The one toothpick says to the other,
"When did this place get a bus?"
Did you know that ancient Egyptians were related by their farts?
It's true. They had a toot in common.
What's the Tooth Fairy's favorite time?
Two thirty
I just learned about the pharaoh who did not f**... very often
Toot Uncommon
How do we know the toothbrush was invented in Appalachia?
Because otherwise it would be called a "Teethbrush."
What toothpaste do ants use?
MicroScope
Two toothpicks are hanging out in a forest,
... when all of a sudden they see a hedgehog passing by. So, one of them shrugs and goes like, "Hm, I didn't even know they had public transportation here."
[my gf's fav joke, literal translation from German]
2 mummies shared a f**...
They had a toot in common
How do you know the tooth fairy is a journalist?
They're always searching for the tooth.
How do we know the toothbrush was invented in Kentucky?
If was created anywhere else it would have been called the teethbrush.
what do you call it when two mummies from egypt f**...?
they have a Tutankhamun (toot in common)
What's the difference between a h**... and f**... after eating spaghetti?
One gets paid to have s**... and the other's a pasta toot.
What did the toothless termite ask when he went to the pub?
"Is the bar tender here?"
Why is a toothbrush called a TOOTHbrush and not a TEETHbrush?
It was invented in Tennessee
What do tooth fillings and people have in common?
w**... are more expensive.
TIL Ancient Egyptian pyramids didn't have doorbells, they had horns instead.
You just used to toot and come in.
What did the toothless termite said when he entered a bar ?
Is bar-tender in here ....😂
Two toothpicks are walking along when they see a needle
One toothpick says to the other "Hey look, a robot!"
The Tooth Fairy wasn't too impressed with the dentures I left under my pillow...
...Tooth be trolled.
Did you know that the toothbrush was invented in West Virginia?
Because anywhere else it would have been named a teethbrush.
(Heard this in my office this week)
Two toothpicks are walking through the forest,
a hedgehog walks past them. The one toothpick says to the other one: "i didn't knew that there is a busstop over here"
How do you know the toothbrush was invented in W. Virginia?
because if it was invented anywhere else it'd be called the teethbrush.
Way down upon the Mississippi, two tugboat captains who had been friends for years, would always cry "Aye!" and blow their whistles whenever they passed each other
A new crewman asked his boat's mate, "What do they do that for?"
The mate looked surprised and replied, "You mean that you've never heard of an aye for an aye and a toot for a toot?"
Have you heard about Cario's taxi drivers?
The Government in Egypt has asked the city's taxi drivers to drive around Cairo sounding their car horns.
It is hoped that the familiar sounds of the city will induce a return to tranquillity and normality following the recent pandemic.
Operation Toot 'n Calm 'Em will last for the rest of the week.
The government in Egypt has asked the city's taxi drivers to drive around Cairo sounding their car horns. It is hoped that the familiar sounds of the city will induce a return to tranquility and normality following the recent pandemic.
Operation Toot 'n Calm 'Em will last for the rest of the week.
The toothbrush was invented in Alabama
If it were invented anywhere else they would have called it a teethbrush.
A toothless termite walks into a pub and says
Is the bartender here?
How do you know the Tooth Brush was invented in West Virginia?
If it was invented anywhere else it would be called a Teeth Brush.
How do you know that the toothbrush was invented in Kentucky?
Because if it were anywhere else, it would have been called the teethbrush.
Queen Elizabeth and Indira Gandhi
My dad told me this joke when I was young, and I think it's HILARIOUS:
Indian Prime Minister Indira Gandhi was once invited by Queen Elizabeth. Both of them were riding in the Queen's horse-driven carriage when one of the horses f**....
Petrified and embarrassed by the horse's toot, the Queen apologizes to Indira Gandhi, "I'm sorry," she said.
Indira Gandhi replied, "Oh that's okay. But I thought it was the horse!"
How can you tell toothpaste was invented in Alabama?
Otherwise it would have been called teethpaste.
Did you know that the toothpick was invented in Arkansas?
If it had been invented anywhere else, it would have been called a teethpick.
Did you know the toothbrush was invented in West Virginia?
If it had been invented anywhere else, it would have been called the teethbrush
What di you call a rare f**... in Egypt?
A toot uncommon!
A toothless termite..
Walks into a bar and hollars ," Hey, where's the bar tender?!"
How do you know the toothbrush was invented in the 'Deep South'?
Anywhere else, it would have been called a 'teethbrush'
How do we know the toothbrush was invented in the south?
If it were invented anywhere else, it'd be called the teethbrush.
How do you know the toothbrush was invented in Alabama?
If it were it invented anywhere else it would have been called a teethbrush.
The toothbrush had to have been invented in Alabama.
Because if it were invented anywhere else it would be called a teethbrush.
What do tooth brushes and s**... toys have in common?
They're better when they vibrate.
Archeologists say that in very rare cases, you can experience a mummy f**... in their crypt.
If you get the chance to experience this phenomena, you can call that toot uncommon.
There used to be a pharaoh who wouldn't let people into his throne room until they f**...
His name was toot and come in
How do you know the toothbrush is a British invention?
If it was invented elsewhere, they'd call it a teethbrush.
A toothless termite walked into a pub and asked...
"Is the bar tender here?"
You can tell that the toothbrush was created by the English
Otherwise it would be called a teethbrush
My toothpaste fell off of my brush and right onto the floor before I got to brush
I was Crestfallen
The toothbrush was invented in Kentucky.
If it was invented in any other state, it would have been called a teethbrush.
My new toothpaste is false advertising
It said, "Guaranteed whiteness in 14 days."
Well, it's been 15 days and I'm still Asian.
How is an Egyptian mummy similar to a f**...?
They have a toot in common.
