Tool Shed Jokes
25 tool shed jokes and hilarious tool shed puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about tool shed that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Funniest Tool Shed Short Jokes
Short tool shed jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The tool shed humour may include short garden shed jokes also.
- My friend was showing me his tool shed. He pointed to a ladder.
"That's my step ladder," he said.
"I never met my real ladder." - My dad says I'm not the sharpest tool in the shed. But he also says atleast I've got the being a tool part down to a science!
- Why do all of the men who prefer their wives making sandwiches in the kitchen work outside in the shed? Because they're all tools.
- My colleagues at work asked where I kept my garden tools.... "Don't you have a shed in your garden?"
"No."
"So where do you keep your lawnmower?"
"She shares the bed with me." - Why did Ottis Toole say to Henry Lee Lucas after he got caught? I ain't the sharpest Toole in the shed
- When I was younger I misheard the song lyrics as "I ATE the sharpest tool in the shed"... I ain't the sharpest tool in the shed
- My friend told me I wasn't the sharpest tool in the shed. I told him I'm not a tool or in a shed. Sure showed him.
- Based on a true story: I was carrying back gardening tools to the shed and dropped one. My wife yells from behind me. "Yee haw, it's a h**... down"
- If you can't be the sharpest tool in the shed... You can always be the h**...
(Seen on some store sign today)
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Tool Shed One Liners
Which tool shed one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with tool shed? I can suggest the ones about garage and car garage.
- Someone told me I'm not the sharpest tool in the shed What does that mean?
- Where does Dracula keep his tools? The blood shed.
- I'm not the brightest shed in the tool But you definitely read that wrong
- A blonde is like a hammer Not the sharpest tool in the shed
- What is the sharpest tool in the shed? The SUHHH DUDE!
- What do you call a bunch of black dudes in a shed... Antique garden tools.
Tool Shed Funny Jokes And Hilarious Puns.
What funny jokes about tool shed you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean mechanic shop jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make tool shed pranks.
A woman had twin babies and fell asleep immediately after
A couple of weeks later she wakes up and asks the doctor, "Where are my babies?"
The doctor replies, "They are both fine, you have a beautiful boy and girl. Your husband went back to work and you were out so long that your brother had to name them"
"Oh no! What did he name them?" The woman asks looking concerned as her brother wasn't the sharpest tool in the shed.
"He named the girl Denise" the doctor replies
"Well that's not so bad. What about the boy?"
"Denephew"
There was a construction site
There's 3 labourers, ready for their morning job.
An Englishman, an Irishman and a Chinese man.
The boss tells the Englishman, when I get back from lunch, I want this pile of dirt moved over there further.
To the Irishman, after he's moved it, you need to spread the soil.
To the Chinese man, he says you need to help out with all the supplies.
The boss gets back from lunch, and the dirt pile isn't moved.
Why has nothing happened? He asks.
The Englishman says he couldn't find the Chinese man.
He then asks the Irishman who also, cannot find the Chinese man.
He heads to the tool shed, as he is about to open the door, the Chinese man bursts out and yells, SUPPLIES!
three men were on a road trip when their car broke down
they walked a mile and found a farm and decided to ask the old farmer if they could c**.... the farmer was a kind man and decided to let the men stay, as long as they didn't touch the three hot daughters. later that night none of the men could help themselves and decided to go for it, thinking that the old farmer wouldn't catch them.
the next morning, the farmer lined up the three men and said "I know you three have slept with my daughters! as punishment, you will each tell me what your job is and I will m**... you according to your profession"
the first man, not being very smart, said "I'm a fire fighter" so the farmer burned the first man.
the second man, a little smarter, said "I'm a police officer" so the farmer went in his tool shed and came out with a beating stick and beat the man to death.
the third man was a lot a lot smarter than the other two and said "I'm a professional lollipop l**..."
The great train of Communism grinds to a halt...
Stalin, Khrushchev and Brezhnev are riding on the great train of communism together when it suddenly grinds to a halt.
Stalin pokes his head out of the window and shouts, "Take the engineers behind the tool sheds and have them shot, then get new engineers!" But the train still does not move.
Khrushchev has a go at it next. "Pardon the engineers, retrain them, then put them back to work!" But still the train does not move.
Finally, after hours at complete standstill, Brezhnev turns to his fuming compatriots and says, "Gentlemen, let us simply close the blinds and pretend that we are moving!"