Tonto Jokes
26 tonto jokes and hilarious tonto puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about tonto that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Funniest Tonto Short Jokes
Short tonto jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The tonto humour may include short atop jokes also.
- They have announced a new Lone Ranger Movie. The Lone Ranger Goes To Canada
or Onto Toronto Pronto Tonto. - The Lone Ranger woke to see his tent blown away by a tornado. He declared, "Tonto, we’re not in canvas anymore."
- Do you remember that episode of The Lone Ranger where Tonto got Alzheimer's? Who's "me", kemosabe?
- The Lone Ranger woke to see his tent blown away by a tornado. He declared, "Tonto, we’re not in canvas anymore."
- Where are you going with that bag of trash, Kemosabe? To the dump, to the dump, to the dump, dump, dump, Tonto.
- The Lone Ranger woke to see his tent blown away by a tornado. He declared, "Tonto, we’re not in canvas anymore."
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Tonto One Liners
Which tonto one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with tonto? I can suggest the ones about cowboy and scout.
- And I told him... No Tonto! I said "round up a little POSSY!"
Amusing Tonto Jokes to Make You Laugh with Friends
What funny jokes about tonto you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean saddle jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make tonto pranks.
In his later years, the Lone Ranger and Tonto were catching up on old times. After awhile the Lone Ranger paused and said I have some sad news.
Tell me, old friend said the faithful Tonto.
Well...I recently was diagnosed with Cancer
Bad spirits, replied his old companion.
The lone ranger look off into the distance for a minute. After all your years of wisdom, what do you think I should do?
Chemo, sabe
Ps this is my first joke post ever so I hope I did it right.
An attractive woman was reading The History of p**... on the bus the other day...
... I struck up a conversations opening with "That seems interesting"
She responds: "It really is! Did you know that Native Americans have the longest p**... in the world? And Poles the girthiest!"
She extends her hand, I grab it and say... "Tonto Polanski, pleasure to meet you"
Tonto and the Lone Ranger
Chased by i**..., the lone ranger and Tonto are galloping along when suddenly, Tonto stops, jumps down off his horse, puts his ear to the ground and listens. After a bit, he sits up and says 'BUFFALO COME!'
'how can you tell?' replies the lone ranger.
Tonto says 'Ear Sticky!'
The lone Ranger and Tonto
The lone Ranger and Tonto are riding their horses when Tonto falls off. He lands in a ditch. The lone Ranger walks up and says "Tonto are you ok"? Tonto puts his ear to the ground and remains quiet. The lone Ranger repeats himself and Tonto quiets him and says "buffalo come" the lone Ranger says " you can tell that by listening to the ground"? Tonto says "no, ground very sticky.
The Lone Ranger
The Lone Ranger and Tonto were riding across the prairie. Then Tonto got down from his horse and put his ear to the ground. He looked at the Lone Ranger and said, "Buffalo come."
The Lone Ranger looked at him and said, "Wow, that's amazing! How did you figure that out?"
Tonto looked at the Lone Ranger and said, "Ear sticky!"
The Lone Ranger and Tonto are on a ridge
And the lone ranger says: "Tonto! There's Indians to the North! And Indians to the West, Indians to the East and Indians to the South! What are we going to do?"
And Tonto goes: "What do you mean we, white man?"
Tonto and the Lone Ranger are walking up a mountain...
When all of a sudden they see a beautiful blonde coming down the mountain by horseback.
Tonto goes up to the woman and says, "Some"
The Lone Ranger looks at Tonto and says, "Tonto you idiot you're an Indian you are supposed to say HOW not SOME!!!"
Tonto Looks back at the Lone Ranger points at the woman and says, "No me know HOW, me want SOME."
The Lone Ranger and Tonto were riding through the prairie
When all of a sudden Tonto stops and puts his ear to the ground. The Lone Ranger says, "What are you doing Tonto?" Tonto says, Keemosabi, buffalo come!" The Lone Ranger then says, "How can you tell?" Tonto replies, Ear sticky."
The Lone Ranger and Tonto
The Lone Ranger and Tonto stop in their persuit of some crooks to check for tracks. Tonto presses his ear to the ground, sits up slowly and says thoughtfully "Hmmmm...buffalo come".
Amazed the Lone Ranger asks "Wow! How did you know that?!"
Tonto replies "Ear stick to ground"
The Lone Ranger stops for a drink
The Lone Ranger and Tonto ride into town one hot, summer day. The Lone Ranger's horse is looking overheated so the Lone Ranger tells Tonto to run around in circles fanning the horse off.
Sometime later a cowboy walks into the saloon and asks "Who's horse is that out there with the silver saddle?"
"That would be me," says the Lone Ranger. "Well you left your i**... running."
So the Lone Ranger and Tonto are being chased by the bad guys...
To see if they're being closed in on Tonto puts his ear to the ground to listen for the sound of horse hooves.
"Kimosabe, no soldiers chasing us, buffalo come."
"How do you know that?"
"Ear sticky."
Tonto and The Lone Ranger we're riding their horses next to some train tracks..
They stop and hop off their horses. Tonto puts his ear onto the tracks and tells The Lone Ranger Buffalo come . The Lone Ranger says how do you know? . Tonto says my ear is stuck .
Lone Ranger and Tonto are riding across the plains
When Tonto stops suddenly, climbs down, and puts his ear to the ground.
Lone Ranger waits a few minutes, then asks Tonto, "What is it?"
Tonto said, "Buffalo come."
Lone Ranger asks, "How can you tell?"
Tonto replied, "Ear sticky."
The Lone Ranger is in trouble now!
The lone ranger and Tonto are riding together, when suddenly they are surrounded by a group of Apache Indians, screaming like banshees and swinging warclubs.
The lone ranger takes a look at the war-painted pack of warriors howling for his blood, and yells to his faithful sidekick, "Looks like we might have to fight them off, Tonto!"
The lone ranger looks over his shoulder to see Tonto backing his horse away slowly.
"What you mean 'we', white man?"
The Lobe Ranger and Tonto are riding in the desert
When they come to a high hill they can see that they are surrounded by wild indians on all sides.
The Lone Ranger says This doesn't look good my friend, they look fierce and out for blood. What should we do?
Tonto reply's What do you mean we white man?
The Long Ranger and Tonto are hunting for buffalo
The Long Ranger and Tonto are riding the plains, hunting buffalo. Tonto stops suddenly, jumps down from his horse, and puts his ear the the ground.
Tonto exclaims, "Buffalo come!"
The Long Rangers says "Wow, how do you know?"
Tonto replies, "Ear sticky."
Lone Ranger and Tonto go camping together
They Fall asleep early due to a long day.
In the middle of the night, Lone Ranger wakes up and speaks to Tonto who's now awake as well
It's a beautiful night Tonto Says
How so? Replies Lone Ranger
There are many stars in the sky Tonto Replies
You know what that means, don't you? Lone Ranger asks suddenly more frantically
Yes, that means many spirits are watching us Tonto Explains calmly
To which Lone Ranger replied
No you d**..., it means somebody stole our tent!
The Lone Ranger and Tonto were on horseback across the prairies...
Every now and then Tonto would dismount his horse and put his ear to the group to check for while life or followers.
Each and every time the Lone Ranger was amazed by Tonto's talent. He never questioned his predictions. When he said cowboys were up ahead, there were. When he said wild life was near by, sure enough there was. Enough for pelts, food whatever...
Finally curiosity got the better of the Lone Ranger. When Tonto got off his horse but his ear to the ground and pronounced 'Buffalo come!' He had to ask how Tonto knew this...
Tonto simply replied 'Ear stuck to ground!'
The Lone Ranger and Tonto went camping in the desert...
After they got their tent all set up, both men fell sound asleep. Some hours later, Tonto wakes the Lone Ranger and says, "Kemo Sabe, look
towards sky, what you see?"
The Lone Ranger replies, "I see millions of stars."
"What that tell you?" asked Tonto.
The Lone Ranger ponders for a minute then says, "Astronomically speaking, it tells me there are millions of galaxies. Time wise, it appears to be approximately a quarter past three in the morning. Theologically, the Lord is all powerful and we are small and insignificant. Meteorologically, it seems we will have a beautiful day tomorrow. What's it tell YOU, Tonto?"
"You dumber than buffalo. Someone stole tent."
So the Lone Ranger and Tonto have been tasked with finding a herd of bison...
And they've been wandering about the plains for a while not finding much of anything, Tonto periodically sticking his ear to the ground to listen for the thundering of many hooves.
As Tonto is pressing his ear against the ground for the fourteenth time, the Lone Ranger spots a dark smudge on the horizon vaguely shaped like a large group of ungulates.
"Bison come," Tonto interrupts the Lone Ranger's day dreaming, his head snapping back to look at Tonto with wonderment.
"How can you tell? Is it the vibration of the ground from the herd over there?" He points.
"No." Tonto replies. "Ear sticky."
Tonto
Little known fact about Tonto is he use to take white man on buffalo hunts. He was the best buffalo tracker and the white man payed him well.
One day Tonto was out with a group of white men in search of Buffalo. He got off his horse, which excited the men. He checked the breeze, smelled the air, and then slowly bent down to listen to the earth.
When he stood back up, in a calm voice he said, "buffalo come"
The white man responded, "well how do ya' know?"
To which Tonto replied, "hm! Face sticky."
