Tongue Jokes

182 tongue jokes and hilarious tongue puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about tongue that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

Make your friends and family laugh with this collection of tongue jokes, featuring tongue twisters, tongue in cheek comments, and cheeky tongue out observations. Read on to find the best tongue twisters in Bisaya, facts about tongue piercing and rings, and learn the best tongue kissing techniques. Plus get advice on handling that pesky tongue tie obstruction.

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jokes about tongue

Best Short Tongue Jokes

Short tongue puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The tongue humour may include short lips jokes also.

  1. Police have arrested the world tongue-twister Champion. I imagine he'll be given a tough sentence.
  2. The world tongue-twister champion just got arrested I hear they're gonna give him a really tough sentence.
  3. How to turn your tongue into very own super hero! Step 1: place tongue between teeth
    Step 2: bite down. Hard.
    Step 3: your tongue should now be Thor.
  4. Why did the hipster burn his tongue on his coffee? Because he drank it before it was cool.
  5. Did you hear the one about rim jobs? It's very tongue in cheek.
    -came up with this while trying to fall asleep. Pretty sure it's OC
  6. People always tell me I shouldn't give my cat a bath... I don't see what the big deal is. Honestly, it's fine once I get all the hair off my tongue.
  7. Why do you always burn your tongue on coffee from the new Hipster coffee shop? Because you were drinking it before it was cool.
  8. What does a 9 volt battery, and a pretty girls bumhole have in common? People tell you not to, but you're still going to put your tongue on it.
  9. Thought of this last night. This is probably not that good.... Why do people with sharp teeth have a hard time being quiet?
    It hurts to bite their tongue.
  10. TIL it is impossible to look at your nose while sticking out your tongue without looking ridiculous.
Tongue joke, TIL it is impossible to look at your nose while sticking out your tongue

Make fun with this list of one liners, jokes and riddles. Each joke is crafted with thought and creativity, delivering punchlines that are unexpected and witty. The humor about tongue can easily lighten the mood and bring smiles to people's faces. This compilation of tongue puns is not just entertaining but also a testament to the art of joke-telling. The jokes in this list are designed to display different humor styles, ensuring that every reader at any age finds something entertaining. Constantly updated, they offer a source of fun that ensures one is always smiling !

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Tongue One Liners

Which tongue one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with tongue? I can suggest the ones about teeth and licking.

  1. The Human centipede wasn't that bad really.. ...most of it was tongue in cheek.
  2. How many nails are there in a lesbian's coffin? None. It is all tongue and groove
  3. What makes a good tongue-twister? Well, it's hard to say...
  4. Why do vegan insist on telling you they are vegan? They can't bite their tongues.
  5. I gave my cat a bath the other day... he liked it, but the fur stuck to my tongue.
  6. How do lesbian carpenters work? No studs. All tongue in groove.
  7. My favorite word is drool. It just rolls off the tongue.
  8. My grandfather got his tongue cut out in a POW camp He doesn't like to talk about it.
  9. God is Love... ... But Satan does that thing you like with his tongue.
  10. How did the hipster burn his tongue? He was drinking coffee before it was cool.
  11. What is something that tastes better than it smells? A tongue
  12. You have so many gaps in your teeth it looks like your tongue is in jail.
  13. How did the hipster burn their tongue? They drank their tea before it was cool.
  14. Why did the hipster burn his tongue? Because he ate his food before it was cool.
  15. Did you hear the joke about rim jobs? Its very tongue-in-cheek!

Tongue Out Jokes

Here is a list of funny tongue out jokes and even better tongue out puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • A lesbian couple are building a house next to me... They're not going to use any studs. It's all tongue and groove.
  • The world champion tongue twister got arrested. I hear they're going to give him a tough sentence.
  • Two snakes are hanging out, when one asks the other... "Hey, are we venomous?"
    The other snake replies, "I'm not sure."
    "Well I hope not," the first snake says, "cus I just bit my tongue."
  • My grandfather got his tongue shot off during WWII He never talked about it.
  • How did the hipster burn his tongue? He bit into his pizza before it was cool.
  • Why are lesbian carpenters the most successful? No Studs, everything is tongue & groove, and all projects are done lickety split!
  • How did the hipster burn his tongue? He ate potatoes before they were cool.
    Why was he eating potatoes?
    Because they're so underground.
  • What did Thor say after he bit his tongue? I'm Thor
  • Police have arrested the World tongue-twister Champion. If found guilty he'll be given a tough sentence.
  • What langue do UPS men speak? Parcel Tongue

Tongue And Groove Jokes

Here is a list of funny tongue and groove jokes and even better tongue and groove puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • How can you tell a house was built by lesbian carpenters? There are no studs, it's all tongue and groove.
  • What is the best flooring for a lesbian couple? Tongue and Groove.
  • The House that the Lesbian Built. It was all tongue and groove. Not a stud inside.
  • Did you hear about the all-lesbian construction company? They don't use studs. Only tongue and groove.
  • What is a builder's favourite pickup line? I'd like to put my tongue in your groove.
  • How do you tell if a lesbian installed your flooring? It's all tongue and groove.
  • Have you heard about the all-lesbian construction crew? well, they don't use studs; it's all tongue & groove

  • How do know a job's been done by a lesbian carpenter? There are no nails, and no screws, it's all tongue and groove!
  • how many screws hold together a l**... bed? None it's all tongue and groove
  • Did you hear about the house the l**... built? Not a stud in the place, it's all tongue 'n' groove

Sticking Tongue Out Jokes

Here is a list of funny sticking tongue out jokes and even better sticking tongue out puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • Do you know that old fable about how your tongue will stick to an iron pipe if it's too cold? It's twuu.
  • As a kid, I used to stick my tongue out to flirt with girls. My parents disapproved. As an adult, the girl's parents disapprove.
  • did you know that you can not breath by your nose while your tongue is sticking out? hehe, bet you feel dumb right now!
  • TIL it is impossible to stick out your tongue while looking straight up Without looking really dumb.
  • Why did Albert Einsten stick his tongue out in one of his iconic photos? At the peak of his career he took matters lightly.
  • Do you know you can't breathe fast and stick your tongue out at the same time? Good boy!
    Now sit and roll.
  • What did the tongue say to the Popsicle stick? I'm feeling depressed.
  • Since my girlfriend discovered out the eyeroll and tongue sticking emojis she doesn't have to type words anymore.
  • What do you say to a Russian cat sticking its tongue out at you? Cyka blep.
  • Old age An old man went to the doctor for his annual check up.
    The doctor asks the old man to show him his s**... organs.
    The old man sticks out his tongue and shows him two fingers.

Tip Tongue Jokes

Here is a list of funny tip tongue jokes and even better tip tongue puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • The worst part of forgetting a woman's name... Is when you can't quite come up with it, but she's right on the tip of your tongue.
  • The five senses are touch, smell, sight, hearing, and..... It's on the tip of my tongue...
  • I forgot what I'm allergic to, I'm trying to remember... ..its on the tip of my tongue
  • When you see someone your recognize, but can't remember their name, you probably should not walk up and lick them... ...of course, if you do, then their identity will be on the tip of your tongue.
  • What's a good holiday tip? Never catch snowflakes with your tongue until all the birds have gone south for the winter.
  • The tip of my tongue is sore, and I just can't think of why that is.
  • Whats another term for acid? Its on the tip of my tongue...
  • Did you know that 90% of people cant touch all of their teeth using the tip of their tongue? ...and 100% of idiots will try it!!!
  • What does presque vu mean again? I can't remember, but it's on the tip of my tongue!
  • whats that phrase you say when you forget a word? ... it's on the tip of my tongue

Tongue Twister Jokes

Here is a list of funny tongue twister jokes and even better tongue twister puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • The world tongue twister champion was killed today in a tragic accident. He was run over by a red lorry. Then a yellow lorry, then a red lorry, then a yellow lorry
  • What happened when the world's tongue-twister champion got arrested? They gave him a tough sentence!
  • What do I like about a good tongue twister? It's hard to say...
  • Tongue Twister A flea and a fly flew up in a flue. Said the flea, "Let us fly!" Said the fly, "Let us flee!" So they flew through a flaw in the flue.
  • What makes a good tongue-twister? I don't know, its really hard to say.
  • What do you call four famished frogs fighting for five frightened flies? A *Tongue Twister*
  • A friend of mine tried telling a joke about a tornado... It was a real tongue twister.
  • How many cans of soda can a soda can can if a soda can can can cans? No one can ever know
    P.S. are these type of tongue twister jokes allowed here? If not i will happily remove it.
  • I like tongue twisters.
  • What do deaf people call tongue twisters? Finger twisters
Tongue joke, What do deaf people call tongue twisters?

Cheerful Tongue Jokes for Unforgettable Laughter with Friends!

What funny jokes about tongue you can tell and make people laugh? One example I can give are clean mouth throat jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help make tongue prank.

Why was the lesbian at a loss for words?

Cat's got her tongue

Why shouldn't you take r**... jokes seriously?

Because they're all tongue in cheek.

An attractive young girl, chaperoned by an ugly old
lady, entered the doctor´s office.

"We have come for an examination," said the young girl.
"Alright," said the doctor. "Go behind that curtain and take your clothes off."
"No, not me," said the girl. "it´s my old aunt here."
"Very well,"said the doctor. "Madam, stick out your tongue."

Why did the hipster burn his tongue?

He drank hot chocolate before it was cool.

Two Drunks and a Dog

Two extremely drunk men were stumbling toward home after leaving the bar one night. As they staggered through the backstreets they noticed a dog sitting on his front porch giving his tackle a hearty tongue bath. One of the men turns to the other and says
"You know, I wish I could to do that."
To which the second replies
"I bet if you ask him nicely he very well might let you."

l**...' FLOORING

Q. Why aren't there any nails in a lesbian's floor?
A. They're all laid with tongue and groove.

During a lady's medical examination...

The doctor says: "Your heart, lungs, pulse and blood pressure are all fine. Now let me see the bit that gets you ladies into all kinds of trouble."
The lady starts taking off her underwear but is interrupted by the doctor.
"No! No! Don't t**... clothes. Just stick out your tongue!"

My girlfriend's response to a lesbian joke that I told her

Years ago I told my girlfriend a joke, it went something like this:
Me: Did you hear about the French lesbian who went back home to France?
Her: (Shakes her head no)
Me: She missed her native tongue.
After I said the punchline, she didn't get it, just sat there and looked at me straight-faced, trying to make sense of it, finally she blurts out, "They have natives in France?"

Did you hear about the house built by l**...?

There are no nails, screws, or studs and it's all tongue and groove.

A woman is complaining to her neighbor

Wife: My husband is 300% impotent.
Neighbor: A few days ago you told me 100%, not 300%.
Wife: Well, yesterday he fell down the stairs, broke his finger and bit his tongue.

My Grandpa got his tongue shot off in the war...

But He never talks about it.

My daughter saw me eating prosciutto

True story: my daughter saw me eating prosciutto and clucked her tongue. "I think eating prosciutto is like, the worst thing a Jew can do."
I am Jewish, so I asked, "Why is that?"
"Well, it's pork and it's expensive."

My grandfather lost his tongue during WW2

He never talks about it.

My coworker got third-degree burns on his tongue.

I was going to make a joke about it, but decided it would be in poor taste.

My grandfather had his tongue shot off in the war.

We could never get him to talk about it.

If you can say these four words very fast without getting tongue tied, you're a genius.

1) Eye
2) Yam
3) Stew
4) Peed

A guy rushes into a pharmacy run by prudes...

Goes straight to the register and says in a loud voice "Gimme one c**...."
The cashier lady is outraged. "Young man! You mind that tongue of yours!"
"Right. Gimme two condoms, then."

Mom, how do you spell s**...'?

Honey, you should have asked me last night—it was on the tip of my tongue.

A monkey walks into a bar...

...and asks the bartender:
- Do you have bananas?
- No.
- Do you have bananas?
- I said, no.
- Do you have bananas?
- No, are you deaf or what? If you ask me one more time if I have bananas, I'll NAIL your tongue at the counter!
- ... Do you have nails?
- No.
- Do you have bananas?

Two snakes

Snake one asks
"Hey man, are we venomous?"
Snake two responds,
"Extremely. Why do you ask?"
"Because I just bit my tongue"

Just stuck my tongue in an outlet.

The results were shocking.

What happens when two l**... build a house?

It's all tongue and groove, and no stud inside.

When does CPR become Necrophlia?

When tongue is involved.

My therapist told me..

My therapist told me that I have a fear of confrontation.
I didn't agree with her but I held my tongue in case it caused an argument.

Slip of the Tongue

Joe has a broken leg. Mike comes over and asks, "How you doing', Joe?"
Joe says, "Do me a favor: Run upstairs and get my slippers."
Mike goes upstairs and sees Joe's gorgeous 19-year-old twin daughters. He says, "your dad sent me up here to have s**... with both of you."
One girl replies, "Get out of here. Prove it?"
Mike shouts down stairs -, "Hey, Joe, both of 'em?"
Joe shouts back, "of course, both of 'em!" What's the point of f**...' one?"

I saw a Dwarf who had escaped from prison climbing over a chain link fence. As he was climbing down the other side he scowled and stuck his tongue out at me and ran away...

I said to myself "That was a little condescending"

The s**... is made up of Glucose........

MBBS Professor:
The s**... is made up of Glucose, the same material Sugar is made of.
A Girl raised her hand:
"Then why doesn't it
taste like Sugar?"
Suddenly silence in hall.
Then Professor's reply was also a Medical master piece:
My dear, Thats because, the taste buds are located on the tip of your Tongue and not at the end of your t**...
Killer .


Only a Genius can say these four words, Four times Really fast without getting Tongue twisted.
Eye , Yum , Stew , Peed

snowflakes are like vaginas...

each one unique...
and I like them on my tongue..

What tastes good but doesn't smell good?

A tongue.

At school

A teacher writes on the whiteboard: HNO3 and asks a student:
\- What substance is that?
\- Hmmm... wait a moment... It's on the tip of my tongue!
\- Spit it out at once!!! That's nitric acid!

Two snakes are slithering through the forest when one stops and looks at the other

"Hey Carl" he says "Are we poisonous?"
The other snake stops and thinks for a second "honestly, I have no idea, why?" He asks
The first snake responds in a worried voice "because I just bit my tongue"

Store owner: Good morning Janet! What can i get for you?

Janet: Something for dinner, please
Store owner: I have some lovely fresh ox tongue!
Janet: Oh, no! Yuck! I couldn't eat something that comes out of an animal's mouth! I'll just have a dozen egg

I'm building a brothel for l**....

No studs in the building, it's all tongue and groove.

Why is it "mankind"?

It rolls off the tongue much better than "womancruel"

What language do delivery drivers speak in the Harry Potter universe?

Parcel tongue

A man walks into the Doctor's

"Doctor, Doctor! I've got a sore t**...."
The doctor goes,
"I know how to fix this, stand by the window and stick your tongue out."
The man complies and stands by the window for a good 5 to 10 minutes sticking his tongue out before he can't stand it anymore.
"Doctor, this seems ridiculous, are you sure it's going to help my sore t**...?"
"No, I just don't like the man across the road."

It's weird it hurts when you accidentally bite on your tongue but when you do it on purpose it doesn't hurt

It's also weird your biting on your tongue now

What does "l**..." stand for again?

It's on the tip of my tongue....

Welcome to your French exam.

It's much like your English exam, but with tongue.

A tongue has no bones but it is strong enough to break a heart and..

is also strong enough to lift the pelvic bone.

In a chemistry class, the teacher asks a girl

- Mary, what is H2SO4?
- Oh god, this is so easy, why can't I remember, it's on the tip of my tongue.
Quickly, Johnny says:
- Then spit it out, that's sulfuric acid!

What do you call a man with no arms and no legs hanging from your living room wall?

What if he also had no tongue?
Tasteless art.

A baby snake says to his mother snake

"Mom are we venomousss sssnakesss?"
"Yesss ssson, we are, why do you asssk?"
"Oh ssshesssh, I jussst bit my tongue!"

Have you heard about the new condo complex for l**...?

It's all tongue in groove construction. Not a stud in the whole place.

Why'd the pizza hipster have a burnt tongue?

He ate it before it was cool.

The hipster burnt his tongue

He must've drank his coffee before it was cool

Why did the hipster burn his tongue?

He ate marshmallows before they were cool.

What type of construction do l**... use for their houses??

Tongue in groove

My niece wouldn't eat the beef tongue because it came out of the mouth of an animal.

I then prepared her an egg...

Fun Fact: A male chameleons tongue is 1-1.5 times their bodies length and can fire in & out really fast.

Another fun fact: female chameleons are very happy.

What was Voldemort after he lost some of his tongue?

A partial tongue

Drinking hot coffee in thin plastic cups reduces men's s**... performance by 80%!

It burns tongue and fingers!

Did you hear about the house the l**... built?

It was all tongue and groove, and not a stud in sight.

A young snake asks his mum...

Mum, are we poisonous or venomous?
Why? , she replied
Because I just bit my tongue

How is a 9 volt battery like an a**hole?

It may be wrong, but sooner or later you're gonna put your tongue on both of them.

What do you call an Irishman with a h**... tongue f**...?


Nike has started making trainers for l**... called "nikes4dykes"

they have 50% more tongue and you can get them off with one finger.

Tongue joke, Nike has started making trainers for l**... called "nikes4dykes"

Jokes are a form of humor that often involves clever wordplay, puns or unexpected twists in a story. These are usually short narratives or anecdotes crafted with the intent of amusing its audience by ending in an unexpected or humorous punchline. Jokes are a universal form of entertainment that people of all ages like adults, teens, kids and toddlers can enjoy. JokoJokes' FAQ section has answers to questions you may have!

The impact of these tongue jokes can be both social and psychological. They can help to ease tensions, create bonds between people, and even improve overall mental health. The success of a joke often relies on the delivery, timing, and audience. Jokes can be used in various settings, from social gatherings to professional presentations, and are often employed to lighten the mood or enhance a story.