Tom Brady Jokes

80 tom brady jokes and hilarious tom brady puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about tom brady that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

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Funniest Tom Brady Short Jokes

Short tom brady jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The tom brady humour may include short talking tom jokes also.

  1. When it comes to trick plays, you have to hand it to Tom Brady... Literally. He can't catch.
  2. Donald Trump says that he plans to reduce inflation. Shortly after, Tom Brady announced his intent to vote for Trump.
  3. What's the difference between Darth Vader and Tom Brady? Darth Vader probably gets high fived
  4. Tom Brady just announced that he was retiring from football for good. That's a relief because if he was retiring for evil, then evil would probably win.
  5. Congratulations to Tom Brady, the first player to be undefeated over 5+ Super Bowls. He's won all 5/7.
  6. Why is Tom Brady against raising the federal minimum wage? He doesn't want things to get too inflated.
  7. Report: Tom Brady to retire. Fans hoping for one more season reportedly deflated by the news.
  8. What do Tom Brady and Rhonda Rousey have in common? Both struggle to last longer than a minute with a Brazilian woman.
  9. Which presidential candidate does Tom Brady support? Whichever can reduce inflation.
  10. How did Tom Brady's feel after losing to the Broncos? Deflated

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Tom Brady One Liners

Which tom brady one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with tom brady? I can suggest the ones about brad and tom hanks.

  1. Don't worry about straying from your diet today. It's Tom Brady's cheat day, too.
  2. What did Tom Brady say when he lost the Superbowl? Man, that Ertz...
  3. Did you hear that Tom Brady is running for president? His platform is lowering inflation.
  4. Tom Brady is 5 times better than nickelback He's a quarterback
  5. Tom Brady has 6 rings... ... and now he can destroy half the NFL with one snap
  6. What does Tom Brady have to do if Giselle gets angry? Quarterback
  7. Tom Brady walks into a bar to watch the Super Bowl.
  8. Why does Tom Brady hate investing cryptocurrancy Because it could lead to inflation.
  9. Tom Brady now has a perfect track record. He's won 5/7 Superbowls he's been in.
  10. How does Tom Brady like his soda? Flat.
  11. Tom Brady's so old... He won his first Superbowl in standard definition.
  12. Tom Brady has a perfect record in the Super Bowl He's 5 out of 7.
  13. How will Tom Brady feel if the Patriots lose? Deflated.
  14. What's Tom Brady's favorite sport? Softball.
  15. Tom Brady said he refuses to invest in bitcoin. Turns out he's afraid of inflation.
Tom Brady joke, Tom Brady said he refuses to invest in bitcoin.

Fun-Filled Tom Brady Jokes to Boost Your Mood

What funny jokes about tom brady you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean tom jones jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make tom brady pranks.

Eventually, after living a full life, Tom Brady dies and goes to heaven...

At the Pearly Gates, God tells Brady, "As a reward for such a fine football career I am giving you a house. Now, not everyone gets a house up here, in fact it's quite rare. Tom, consider this is a personal gift from the Lord your God." The Almighty shows him to his new home and Brady is somewhat taken aback. The tiny home is more a shack with a faded Patriots flag flying over it. Still, Tom Brady tells God how thankful he is for such a special blessing.
After the Father gives Brady a short tour of his new home, Tom notices a three story mansion just around the block. The enormous home is painted in orange and blue, even down to the driveway and sidewalks. A huge Denver Broncos flag flies off a 50 ft flagpole above the house and a Tim Tebow jersey hangs over the front door.
Brady, a little perplexed, turns to God and asks, "I don't mean to be ungrateful Lord, but I was an all-pro quarterback, I won three Super Bowls, and I was inducted into the Hall of Fame last year." "What are you trying to say, my son?" Brady responds, "Well, why does Tim Tebow get a better house than me?" God chortles and replies, "That's not Tim's house. That's my house!"

How do we know that Tom Brady isn't a monetary economist?

Because he has no opinion on deflation.

Well there's definitely one word I can't use to describe Tom Brady's ego...


What did the police officer say to Tom Brady during a routine traffic stop?

Your tires are low.

Tom Brady ...

You the real M.V.P!!!!

What's Tom Brady's favorite kind of cheese?


Tom Brady originally offered that Chevy Colorado to Pete Carroll...

...however, Carroll said "I'll pass."

Who is trusted more than President Obama?

Tom Brady

How i feel when i find out Tom Brady is suspended for 4 games

Of course Tom Brady got twice the suspension Ray Rice did.

Ray Rice only beat his wife, Tom Brady beats everybody.

Tom Brady got punished more than Ray Rice

because he beat a whole team

What is Tom Brady's favorite opera?

Deflatermaus! (Die Fledermaus!)

If we want to help fix our economy we should elect Tom Brady

There'll be no chance of inflation

A liar, a m**..., and a cheater walk into a bar and have a few drinks. Who pays the bill?

Tom Brady

Inflation is a growing problem in this country.

And if anyone knows that, its Tom Brady.

What's Tom Brady's favorite type of chip?


How does Tom Brady feel right now?


It's just a game but...

last night Tom Brady was sacked more than milk and bread at the grocery store before a snow day

Le'Veon Bell, Josh Gordon and Tom Brady walk into a bar

To watch the first 4 weeks of the NFL season

Tom Brady walks into a grocery store. He buys a bag of chips, equaling up to $1.75. How much does he give the cashier?

2 dollars, so he gets a quarter back.

Why does everyone care who Tom Brady voted for?

What we really wanna know is who Ja Rule voted for. WHERE IS JA?!

What do Ben Roethlisberger and Tom Brady have in common?

They both throw touchdowns for the Patriots!

What's the difference between Chuck Schumer and Tom Brady

Tom Brady is a Patriot and a winner.
(Thank you Dennis Miller)

I try not to comment about what is in the news but...

I have seen a lot of hate spewed in recent days about a man who is a constant winner and overachiever, and that's what the people who support him like about him. Yes, he's been caught in some lies and maybe twisted the truth a little but he's still out there proving his haters wrong time after time! Some people are just jealous of someone who is successful and has money. Throw in a hot foreign model at his side and they hate even more. You may not have wanted him in this role, but he's there now and there's nothing you can do about it. I know its just going to get worse over the next several days, but like it or not, Tom Brady is in the Super Bowl.

What's Tom Brady's favorite s**... activity?


Tom Brady and I have one thing in common,

We are both now overqualified for our jobs.

[nsfw] Everybody thinks Tom Brady had the best comeback ever

But Kim Kardashian is the cumback queen

Tom Brady has 6 of the most desired rings in the world

5 are from the Super Bowl

Tom Brady

Tom Brady is now offering subscriptions for his food regimen. I believe that's called cheat day.

What does Tom Brady and Kim Kardashian have in common?

They are both famous for their comebacks.

I guess you can say Tom Brady...

Dropped the ball last night

After the Super Bowl, Tom Brady tried to mug me.

He grabbed me and lifted me off the ground.
Luckily, he fumbled me and I got away.

Tom Brady missed his opportunity to head into retirement with a Superbowl win. You could say...

He dropped the ball.

The Eagles won 41-33...

41 - 33 = 8
Tom Brady is 40 years old.
40 / 8 = 5
Patriots have 5 Super Bowl rings.
5 x 5 = 25
The falcons blew a 25 point lead.

Tom Brady, Hilary Clinton, and Urban Meyer walk into a bar.

None of them can get an Uber home because they've all destroyed their cell phones.

Twelfth Man

Why does Tom Brady wear #12?
He counts the refs as teammates.

Anyone else curious to see if the Avengers will show up today and prevent Tom Brady from becoming Thanos?

We are in the endgame now

Stand aside Thanos...

Tom Brady has the six infinity stones now.

Tom Brady and Chad Johnson were out downtown late at night.

Chad told Tom to go buy some gum for them, then gave Tom a quarter. After around 10 minutes Chad notices Tom hasn't come back yet, so he goes to look for him. After 5 minutes of looking Chad sees Tom being drug across the street, and in the mans left hand he holds the quarter that Chad gave Tom. Chad yells loudly, "HEY MAN GIMME MY QUARTER BACK!"

Tom Brady died

When he got to Heaven, God was showing him around. They came to a modest little house with a faded Patriots flag in the window.
"This house is yours for eternity, Tom", said God. "This is very special; not everyone gets a house up here."
Tom felt special and walked up to his house. On his way to the porch, he noticed another house.
It was a 3-story mansion with a Black and Gold sidewalk, a 50 foot tall flagpole with an enormous Steeler flag, and in every window, a Terrible Towel hung.
Tom looked at God and said, "God, I'm not trying to be ungrateful, but, why does Ben Roethlisberger get a better house than me?"
God chuckled, and said "Tom, that's not Ben's house, it's mine."

Tom Brady joke, Tom Brady just announced that he was retiring from football for good.

jokes about tom brady