Charming Humor Tolerate Jokes with Loads of Fun
k**... Pastor
An Alabama pastor said to his congregation, "Someone in this congregation has spread a rumor that I belong to the Ku Klux k**....
This is a horrible lie and one which a Christian community cannot tolerate. I am embarrassed and do not intend to accept this. Now, I want the party who said this to stand and ask forgiveness from God and this Christian family."
No one moved. The preacher continued, "Do you have the nerve to face me and admit this is a falsehood? Remember, you will be forgiven and in your heart you will feel glory. Now stand and confess your transgression." Again, all was quiet.
Then, slowly, a drop-dead gorgeous blonde with a body that would stop a runaway train rose from the third pew. Her head was bowed and her voice quivered as she spoke, "Reverend there has been a terrible misunderstanding. I never said you were a member of the Ku Klux k**.... I simply told a couple of my friends that you were a wizard under the sheets."
I was reading my emails...
The other day I was reading my emails and there was one from my boss, it said;
"Mr. Morgan I regret to inform you that although I thought this company could tolerate your ADD, I'm afraid you're just not productive enough. You may turn up Wednesday to collect your things. I sincerely hope you will be OK."
And I thought to myself, doesn't OK look like a sideways person?
Two 14-year-old Muslim boys have been suspended from school in Accrington for refusing to shave off their beards.
The head teacher said, "We will not tolerate a school environment where it's impossible to tell the boys from the girls."
In school, the teacher warns her students...
..."I will not tolerate any excuses for any kind. I might consider a nuclear attack, serious injury or even the death of a relative, but whoever misses this exam will fail the class."
The class's wise-guy says:
"But teacher, what if tomorrow I arrive to class completely exhausted from last night's amazing s**...?"
The teacher says:
"Well I guess you'll have to do the exam with your left hand, then."
You know what the number one leading cause of p**... is, right?
s**... kids.
(Pro Tip: I tell this to every single one of my First Dates. It's my Late 20s testing threshold for whether or not they'll tolerate me for very long.)
My wife and I moved to a new house.
It's the only place I've lived where I can tolerate the neighbours.
It's next to a cemetery.
I'm a teacher...
Today I had a new student in my class.
I asked him his name, and he said his name was Ben, and that he has just moved from Germany.
So I asked him how old he was, and he said "9!" So I slapped him. I will not tolerate insolence in my classroom.
A college teacher said this about the finals tomorrow.
She said "Now class, I won't tolerate any excuses for you not being here tommorow. I might consider something like a car c**..., or trump wins, but that's all. A student in the back of the room asked "What if i was suffering from complete s**... exhaustion?" The whole class laughed, but was silenced when the teacher said "Well, I guess you'd have to write the exam with your other hand"
People are so divided in this country these days. I don't think either side really realizes that until we all come together, despite our differences; until we all tolerate each other and become one....
We'll NEVER get rid of all the immigrants and Muslims.
Mistakes are like farts
We just tolerate them if they are of our own.
Why do French eat snails?
They can't tolerate fast food
You can explore tolerate forgiveness reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean tolerate systematically dad jokes. There are also tolerate puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.
I had to quit my job at the helium plant.
I couldn't tolerate it anymore that people speak to me in such a voice.
I make puns to test if people enjoy my company.
If they smirk or laugh I know they tolerate me, that's a person who can spend time with me and not hate me for my puns.
If they growl and throw something at my head.. then it's my wife.
Cops are now beating up African-Americans who stay awake too long…
They say that they won't tolerate b**... who are resisting a rest…
If there are three things I cannot tolerate
It's women, sexists, and hypocrites.
Why do nuns always wear such clean clothes?
Because their mother superiors don't tolerate any filthy habits.
One day Nick's wife asked him "What will he do if she were to die". Nick replied "I'll also die". She asked him "Why?" Nick replied
"Well, you know I have a heart condition and most likely I would not be able to tolerate that much happiness".
My girlfriend always tells me that the one thing she won't tolerate is infidelity...
She would leave, no questions ask, if I ever cheated on her. Thankfully, my wife is a little more lenient.
Success is like farts...
You only tolerate your own.
I cannot tolerate Scientologists living in my country..
I am Xenuphobic...
A French internet cafe had to cancel a CS:GO tournament it was supposed to host, after someone stole all the baked goods.
The gamers could not tolerate that much baguette loss.
Been watching basketball lately, and I gotta say I can hardly tolerate Kevin Durant.
He stinks compared to his brother, Deo.
Children are a lot like farts
you can normally tolerate your own but other people's are particularly unpleasant.
A college teacher reminds her class of the next day's final exam.
Now class, I won't tolerate any excuses for you not being here tomorrow. I might consider a nuclear attack or a serious personal injury, illness, or a death in your immediate family, but that's it, no other excuses whatsoever!
A smart-a**... guy in the back of the room raised his hand and asked, What would you say if tomorrow I said I was suffering from complete and utter s**... exhaustion?
The entire class is reduced to laughter and snickering. When silence is restored, the teacher smiles knowingly at the student, shakes her head sweetly.
Well, I guess you'd have to write the exam with your other hand.
I'm taking the Manic Street Preachers around rural England.
If they tolerate Diss, then the Chilterns will be next.
I'm very disappointed.
You see, my mom can't tolerate the sound of apples crunching.
Too bad she's not a doctor.
Blind, deaf and mute people can all tolerate a dark joke.
It's because they're not sensitive.
Today, in honor of 4/20, I'm letting my entire custodial staff partake before they come to work.
It's the only day I'll tolerate high maintenance people.
A teacher at a college reminded her pupils of the next day's final exam...
'Now listen to me, I won't tolerate any excuses for you not being here tomorrow.
I might consider a nuclear attack or a serious personal injury, illness, or a death in your immediate family, but that's it, no other excuses whatsoever!' she said.
A smart-arsed kid at the back of the room raised his hand and asked,
'What would happen if I came in tomorrow suffering from complete and utter s**... exhaustion?'
The entire class was reduced to laughter and s**....
When silence was restored, the teacher smiled knowingly at the student, shook her head and sweetly said,
'Well, I suppose you'd have to write with your other hand'
Why did the boomer have a no coins policy in his store?
He couldn't tolerate change.
I've had it all with the grammar n**...
We should not tolerate antisemanticism.
Kids are like farts...
You can only tolerate your own.
A college professor reminds her class of the next day's final exam saying, I won't tolerate any excuses for you not being there tomorrow. I might consider a nuclear attack or a serious personal injury or illness, or a death in your immediate family, but that's it, no other excuses whatsoever"
A guy sitting at the back asks, What would you say if tomorrow I said I was suffering from complete and utter s**... exhaustion?"
The teacher smiles sympathetically at the student, and says, Well, I guess you'd have to write the exam with your other hand.
what do you call a person who can't tolerate running out of bread?
Lack-Toast Intolerant
HR jokes
My salary was 2500$. One month I received 2700$ and I kept quiet. The following month I received 2300$ and I went straight to the HR Manager to complain.
The HR Manager asked why you did not complain the previous month when you got 200 extra?
I replied - I normally forgive the first mistake but when you make a second
one I do not tolerate.
My sister's band opened for the Manic Street Preachers tonight
Before their set, she said "If you tolerate this, the Manic Street Preachers will be next."
I quit my job at the Helium factory recently
For I won't tolerate being talked to in that tone of voice.
I am earning 5,000 monthly
Last month I received 7,000 and I kept quiet.
This month I got 3,000 so I went to HR to complain.
HR asked "why didn't you complain when you received extra last month?"
I replied "I will normally forgive the first mistake, but I can't tolerate the second."
My boss got mad at me for calling a co-worker a chicken.
He said he doesn't tolerate any fowl language.
When I give a lecture, I accept that people look at their watches, but what I do not tolerate
is when they look at it and raise it to their ear to find out if it stopped.
I can tolerate algebra, maybe even a little calculus…
…but geometry is where I draw the line.
