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Tolerance Jokes

30 tolerance jokes and hilarious tolerance puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about tolerance that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

Stop and read these hilarious jokes about pain tolerance and lack thereof. It's a must-read for anyone with low tolerance, who needs to understand what it takes to persevere despite the knead. Get some much-needed laughs while learning something new!

Funniest Tolerance Short Jokes

Short tolerance jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The tolerance humour may include short tolerant jokes also.

  1. When I give a lecture, I accept that people look at their watches, but what I do not tolerate is when they look at it and raise it to their ear to find out if it stopped.
  2. Today, in honor of 4/20, I'm letting my entire custodial staff partake before they come to work. It's the only day I'll tolerate high maintenance people.
  3. I can tolerate algebra, maybe even a little calculus… …but geometry is where I draw the line.
  4. Blind, deaf and mute people can all tolerate a dark joke. It's because they're not sensitive.
  5. My boss got mad at me for calling a co-worker a chicken. He said he doesn't tolerate any fowl language.
  6. My girlfriend always tells me that the one thing she won't tolerate is infidelity... She would leave, no questions ask, if I ever cheated on her. Thankfully, my wife is a little more lenient.
  7. Why I am leaving this sub: She refused to do as I had asked. I do not have tolerance for disobedient submissives.
  8. I quit my job at the Helium factory recently For I won't tolerate being talked to in that tone of voice.
  9. Children are a lot like farts you can normally tolerate your own but other people's are particularly unpleasant.
  10. My boss pulled me into his office. He sighed and said, "Look...when it comes to drinking on the job, I haven't got much tolerance." "That's okay," I replied, "I was a rookie once too."

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Tolerance One Liners

Which tolerance one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with tolerance? I can suggest the ones about intolerant and acceptance.

  1. What do you get if you give growth hormones to an ant? Tolerance
  2. Why did the boomer have a no coins policy in his store? He couldn't tolerate change.
  3. Kids are like farts... You can only tolerate your own.
  4. Nothing makes you more tolerant of a neighbor's noisy party than being there.
  5. Bonsai lovers are extremely tolerant people. They hate bigotry.
  6. what do you call a liberal humanitarian with a broken toaster lack toast and tolerant
  7. What do you call a large bug that's very accepting of people no matter what? Tolerant
  8. Why couldn't the bigot with no feet drink milk? Because they lack toes n tolerance
  9. If there are three things I cannot tolerate It's women, sexists, and hypocrites.
  10. what do you call a person who can't tolerate running out of bread? Lack-Toast Intolerant
  11. Bonsai lovers are very tolerant people. They hate bigotry.
  12. Why do French eat snails? They can't tolerate fast food
  13. Mistakes are like farts We just tolerate them if they are of our own.
  14. I have a diabetic racist uncle who doesn't get on with milk. He lacks toes and tolerance.
  15. Bonsai growers are very tolerant They hate bigotry

Low Tolerance Jokes

Here is a list of funny low tolerance jokes and even better low tolerance puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • J.F.K. had really low alcohol tolerance... One shot and he was down
Tolerance joke, J.F.K. had really low alcohol tolerance...

Tolerance joke, J.F.K. had really low alcohol tolerance...

Uproarious Tolerance Jokes to Share with Friends

What funny jokes about tolerance you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean patience jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make tolerance pranks.

A college professor reminds her class of the next day's final exam saying, I won't tolerate any excuses for you not being there tomorrow. I might consider a nuclear attack or a serious personal injury or illness, or a death in your immediate family, but that's it, no other excuses whatsoever"

A guy sitting at the back asks, What would you say if tomorrow I said I was suffering from complete and utter s**... exhaustion?"
The teacher smiles sympathetically at the student, and says, Well, I guess you'd have to write the exam with your other hand.

I know we're all supposed to be tolerant of people from other cultures, but is it too much to ask that asian waiters learn that all Caucasians don't look alike? My waiter just served my food to some other customer!

Wait. Never mind. That wasn't my waiter.

A college teacher reminds her class of the next day's final exam.

Now class, I won't tolerate any excuses for you not being here tomorrow. I might consider a nuclear attack or a serious personal injury, illness, or a death in your immediate family, but that's it, no other excuses whatsoever!
A smart-a**... guy in the back of the room raised his hand and asked, What would you say if tomorrow I said I was suffering from complete and utter s**... exhaustion?
The entire class is reduced to laughter and snickering. When silence is restored, the teacher smiles knowingly at the student, shakes her head sweetly.
Well, I guess you'd have to write the exam with your other hand.

I was reading my emails...

The other day I was reading my emails and there was one from my boss, it said;
"Mr. Morgan I regret to inform you that although I thought this company could tolerate your ADD, I'm afraid you're just not productive enough. You may turn up Wednesday to collect your things. I sincerely hope you will be OK."
And I thought to myself, doesn't OK look like a sideways person?

A college teacher said this about the finals tomorrow.

She said "Now class, I won't tolerate any excuses for you not being here tommorow. I might consider something like a car c**..., or trump wins, but that's all. A student in the back of the room asked "What if i was suffering from complete s**... exhaustion?" The whole class laughed, but was silenced when the teacher said "Well, I guess you'd have to write the exam with your other hand"

In school, the teacher warns her students...

..."I will not tolerate any excuses for any kind. I might consider a nuclear attack, serious injury or even the death of a relative, but whoever misses this exam will fail the class."
The class's wise-guy says:
"But teacher, what if tomorrow I arrive to class completely exhausted from last night's amazing s**...?"
The teacher says:
"Well I guess you'll have to do the exam with your left hand, then."

k**... Pastor

An Alabama pastor said to his congregation, "Someone in this congregation has spread a rumor that I belong to the Ku Klux k**....
This is a horrible lie and one which a Christian community cannot tolerate. I am embarrassed and do not intend to accept this. Now, I want the party who said this to stand and ask forgiveness from God and this Christian family."

No one moved. The preacher continued, "Do you have the nerve to face me and admit this is a falsehood? Remember, you will be forgiven and in your heart you will feel glory. Now stand and confess your transgression." Again, all was quiet.

Then, slowly, a drop-dead gorgeous blonde with a body that would stop a runaway train rose from the third pew. Her head was bowed and her voice quivered as she spoke, "Reverend there has been a terrible misunderstanding. I never said you were a member of the Ku Klux k**.... I simply told a couple of my friends that you were a wizard under the sheets."

I am earning 5,000 monthly

Last month I received 7,000 and I kept quiet.
This month I got 3,000 so I went to HR to complain.
HR asked "why didn't you complain when you received extra last month?"
I replied "I will normally forgive the first mistake, but I can't tolerate the second."

A joke I heard some time ago

A texan man is driving over the Mexican border with his family. The border guard looks out his booth and notices the jam-packed pickup truck with trailer.
Raising an eyebrow he asks the man: "Planning a longer stay, sir?"
"We're emigrating." the man replies.
Visibly surprised the guard asks: "Why's that?"
The man responds: "Thirty years ago homosexuality was despised. Twenty years ago it became tolerated. Ten ago it was widely accepted. This year it became equal. We're leaving before it becomes mandatory."

Tolerance joke, Kids are like farts...