Toilet Roll Jokes
65 toilet roll jokes and hilarious toilet roll puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about toilet roll that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Funniest Toilet Roll Short Jokes
Short toilet roll jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The toilet roll humour may include short toilet paper jokes also.
- What's four inches long, two inches wide, and drives women crazy? An empty toilet paper roll.
- Wife and I fight over the right way to hang the toilet paper. So our therapist suggested we try the other person's way for a week.
You know, roll reversal. - Why did the toilet paper roll down the hill? To reach the bottom.
As told by my 5 y/o cousin. - Just had a stack of toilet rolls fall on me in the supermarket I'm ok though, just soft tissue damage
- What does a roll of toilet paper and the U.S.S. Enterprise have in common? They both circle uranus looking for klingons.
- My girlfriend left me because of the way I face the toilet paper. I told her I can't help it... That's just how I roll.
- What's four inches long, two inches wide and always disappoints women? An empty toilet roll
- I fell over a toilet roll display at my local supermarket I cut my leg badly and was rushed to hospital. I said to the doctor, "what's the damage" He replied, "just some torn tissue".
- Now what I don't get are these people who, instead of buying a four-pack or an eight-pack of toilet paper, they buy the single individual roll; are you trying to quit?
- Why did the toilet paper roll down the hill to get to the bottom. Ever since my dad heard this he cant. Stop. Telling. It. To EVERYONE.
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Toilet Roll One Liners
Which toilet roll one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with toilet roll? I can suggest the ones about toilet bowl and paper towels.
- Life's like a roll of toilet paper The closer you get to the end the faster it goes
- Why did the toilet paper stop rolling? It got stuck in a crack.
- What did Ludacris say when he used up the last of the toilet paper? ROLL OUT!
- Dad joke Why did the toilet roll, roll down the hill?
To get the the bottom - Why did the toilet roll go to rehab? Addicted to crack.
- Why did the toilet paper roll roll down the hill? It had to get to the bottom
- why did the toilet paper roll down the hill? to get to the bottom!
- Third magic trick now perfected.. transforming myself into toilet paper. I'm on a roll!
- I gave myself a prostate exam earlier. That's the last time I buy cheap toilet roll.
- Which Way Do Transformers Put The Toilet Paper? Autobots Roll Out!
- Did you hear about the toilet paper that won back-to-back? It was on a roll
- Why did the toilet roll go down the hill? Because it wanted to get to the bottom.
- What gets shittier the more it's used? A roll of toilet paper.
- Your momma is so fat She uses Wiper Roll as Toilet Paper
- Why was the toilet paper rolling down the mountain? To get to the bottom.
Silly & Ridiculous Toilet Roll Jokes to Spread Joy & Laughter
What funny jokes about toilet roll you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean toilet brush jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make toilet roll pranks.
Question: What did one toilet roll say to the other toilet roll?
Answer: "People keep on ripping me off!"
How many men does it take to change a roll of toilet paper? I don't know, it has never happened.
How many men does it take to chane a toilet roll.
None.... Never have, never will.
AMAZING SIMPLE HOME REMEDIES : THESE REALLY WORK!!
AMAZING SIMPLE HOME REMEDIES : THESE REALLY WORK!!
1. TO AVOID CUTTING YOURSELF WHEN SLICING VEGETABLES, GET SOMEONE ELSE TO HOLD THE VEGETABLES WHILE YOU CHOP.
2 TO AVOID ARGUMENTS WITH THE FEMALES ABOUT LIFTING THE TOILET SEAT- USE THE SINK.
3. FOR HIGH BLOOD PRESSURE SUFFERERS ~ SIMPLY CUT YOURSELF AND BLEED FOR A FEW MINUTES, THUS REDUCING THE PRESSURE ON YOUR VEINS. [REMEMBER TO USE A TIMER.]
4. A MOUSE TRAP PLACED ON TOP OF YOUR ALARM CLOCK WILL PREVENT YOU FROM ROLLING OVER AND GOING BACK TO SLEEP AFTER YOU HIT THE SNOOZE BUTTON.
5. IF YOU HAVE A BAD COUGH, TAKE A LARGE DOSE OF LAXATIVES - YOU'LL BE AFRAID TO COUGH.
6. YOU ONLY NEED TWO TOOLS IN LIFE – OIL AND DUCT TAPE. IF IT DOESN'T MOVE AND SHOULD, USE THE OIL. IF IT SHOULDN'T MOVE AND DOES, USE THE DUCT TAPE.
7. IF YOU CAN'T FIX IT WITH A HAMMER, YOU'VE GOT AN ELECTRICAL PROBLEM.
DAILY THOUGHT:
SOME PEOPLE ARE LIKE SLINKIES - NOT REALLY GOOD FOR ANYTHING, BUT THEY BRING A SMILE TO YOUR FACE WHEN YOU PUSH THEM DOWN THE STAIRS.
This guy goes through the checkout line of the grocery store…
and he's got, like, a stack of frozen dinners, a six-pack of beer, a big 'ol bag of chips, and a single roll of toilet paper.
The cute checkout girl says, "Well, I know *you're* single!"
The guy says, "Well, yeah—how'd you guess?"
She says, "You're ugly."
What's the best way to save on toilet paper?
Slow your roll.
A man goes into the bathroom to take a dump.
When he's done, he realizes there's no toilet paper. Knocking on the stall next to him, he asks, "Hey, do have an extra roll of toilet paper?"
"I'm sorry, but I do not."
He knocks again. "Do you have a newspaper?"
"I'm sorry, but I do not."
He knocks again. "Do you have an old handkerchief?"
"I'm sorry, but I do not."
He knocks again. "Do you have change for a five?"
Got this one from my grandpa.
A Man Went Into A Supermarket...
... got 3 cans of dog food, and walked up to the checkout.
The cashier asks the man, "Sir, do you own a dog?"
The man replies, "Yes I do."
The cashier then asks, "Do you have the dog with you?"
The man replies, "No, I left it at home."
The cashier then says, "I'm sorry, but I can't sell you this dog food unless I see your dog."
A few days later the man walks into the same store, gets 3 cans of cat food, and walks up to the checkout.
The same cashier asks, "Sir, do you own a cat?"
The man replies, "Yes I do."
The cashier then asks, "Do you have your cat with you?"
And the man replies, "No, I left it at home."
Then the cashier says, "I'm sorry, but I can't sell you this cat food unless I see your cat."
A few days later the man walks into the store, this time carrying a paper bag. He walks up to the same cashier, and asks him to put his hand into the bag.
The cashier says, "It feels warm, soft, and gooey."
The man then says, "Now, can I go back and get 3 rolls of toilet paper?"
When you drop the toilet paper
and the roll world unravels before your eyes
Whats the difference between a shower curtain and a roll of toilet paper
You're not using my bathroom!
A guy goes to a supermarket to buy food...
A guy in a supermarket goes up to the cashier and places two cans of dog food on the counter. The cashier asks, "Do you have a dog sir?" "Yes, it's at home," replies the man. "To be able to sell you the dog food sir, I must see the dog. That is store policy," says the cashier.
Next day the man goes places two cans of cat food on the counter. "Do you own a cat sir?" asks the cashier. "Yes I do, it's at home," says the man. "Well I am sorry sir. Store policy. I must see the cat before I can sell you cat food," says the cashier.
The next day the man returns to the store and walks directly to the same cashier. He has a brown paper bag in his hand. "Here," he says to the cashier, "put your hand in here." The cashier puts her hand in the brown paper bag. "It is all soft and warm," she says. "Yes, that's right," says the man, "I need to buy two rolls of toilet paper."
Ever have one of those days where you're wiping away and the p**... is all wet and slimy so your finger breaks through the toilet roll and your finger just slips inside, like two knuckles deep? I just had a day like that.
Anyway, I'm not allowed to volunteer at *that* child care centre anymore.
A woman walks into a supermarket.
She buys a bar of soap, a roll of toilet paper, a single size dinner, and a single size ice cream. The guy at the checkout looks at her and says "Single are you?" The woman replies very sarcastically "How did you guess?" He replies, "Because you're ugly."
My wife put the toilet paper on the spindle the wrong way.
I told her I'm not ready for this kind of roll reversal.
Every Body Wants To Change The World, But....!!
Nobody
Wants To
Change
The Toilet
Paper Roll
Have you heard about the international toilet spy? By night, he's an unassuming American, traveling with only a roll of paper...
...but bidet, he's European.
I've been ridiculed by both sides for not picking an ideology. The very fact that I can't clearly define which way I roll seems to enrages people.
I don't pay attention to how I put the toilet paper on.
Franklin D. Roosevelt said, "When you reach the end of your rope, tie a knot in it and hang on."
I say, "When you reach the end of a toilet paper roll, open your wallet, and pull out a receipt."
Toilets in power plants are always built on level surfaces...
to prevent rolling brown outs.
What do you call the brand of toilet paper that prints math equations on their rolls?
Multi-Ply
I've just spotted a man
..standing on the corner of my street looking through two toilet rolls.
I have absolutely no idea what he's up to.
If only these binoculars were real.....
Why did the toilet paper roll down the hill?
To get to the bottom.
Thought this was a clever one from the 8 year old I nanny
Patience is a bit like a toilet-roll
the bigger the a**... you're dealing with, the quicker it runs out.
Alexa Toilet paper roll joke
Q: Alexa put a toilet roll on my shopping list !
Alexa: You're kidding me right ? You're going to wipe your a**... with hands due to stock piling 2000 toilet rolls for some 2 weeks of isolation.
A box of tissues is mingling with a roll of toilet paper at a party.
Tissues to toilet paper: so that's what I do. It's so embarrassing. What is it that you do?
Quarantine Joke: What's the difference between 144 rolls of toilet paper, and a h**...?
Ran out of toilet paper
A new supermarket opened near me a few weeks ago.
They're trying a new thing: immersion! For example, when you stop by the deli you can smell fresh grass and hear cows mooing, at the fish section you smell sea salt and feel a small bit of spray on your face, and at the fruit stall you can see mist on the apples, and smell fields of oranges and pears.
I don't get toilet roll there anymore.
