Toil Jokes
55 toil jokes and hilarious toil puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about toil that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Funniest Toil Short Jokes
Short toil jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The toil humour may include short labor jokes also.
- My job makes me feel like a dwarf toiling forever in a mine. I owe, I owe.. so off to work I go.
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Toil One Liners
Which toil one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with toil? I can suggest the ones about toot and effort.
- What does a witch order at In-N-Out Burger? A double-double, toil and trouble....
Uproarious Toil Jokes to Share with Friends
What funny jokes about toil you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean tool jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make toil pranks.
Why did the toilet paper roll down the hill?
To reach the bottom.
As told by my 5 y/o cousin.
Why do you take toilet paper to the twilight zone?
DODODODODODODODODODODODODODODODODODODODODO
The toilet at my local police station has been stolen.
Cops have nothing to go on
A toilet beat me at a game of Poker.
I had a straight; it had a flush.
What do toilets get in their menopause?
Hot flushes.
Toilet seats can give you STD's...
...If you sit down before the person stands up
So there's this school play...
Sylvester Stallone, Chuck Norris, and Arnold Schwarzenegger have to put on a play featuring their favorite musical composers. They each toil over who they will play, until the next day they meet.
Stallone goes first.
"I'll be Mozart"
Next up is Chuck Norris.
"I'll be Beethoven".
Happy that no one picked his composer, Arnold announces "I'll be Bach".
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Toilet humor
So I visited the bathroom this morning and said hey toilet how was your Christmas? Toilet replied probably better than yours, I wasn't visited by a bunch of arses!
What did the toilet say when he was hitting on another toilet?
On a scale from one to ten, urinate.
Where does a toilet keep his secrets?
In his diarrhea.
What do toilets yell when they ride roller coasters?
Weeeeeeeee!!!
What does toilet paper and office paper have in common?
You can write on both of them with a No. 2
If you see a toilet in your dream, do not use it.
It's a trap.
All the toilet seats were recently stolen from the local police department
They still have nothing to go on...
Why couldn't the toilet paper cross the road?
It got stuck in a crack
Why couldn't the mexican cross the road?
It got stuck doing crack
My toilet got completely clogged...
Wooden shoe know it!
Toilet paper is sort of like the Starship Enterprise
it circles uranus looking for Klingons
"So I was in the toilet, on the phone with Mother Nature...
It was a collect call."
The toilet brush
A man walks into a store looking for a toilet brush. The store owner shows him a variety of brushes at various pricepoints. The man thinks for a little while, then buys the cheapest one.
The next day the man is back at the store. "Were you unhappy with your purchase?" asks the shopkeeper. "We have other models that might work better."
The man agrees and buys a little more expensive one.
The next day the man is back yet again. The shopkeeper, visually puzzled on how a toilet brush can be such a big deal, asks "What's the matter, didn't like the new one either?"
"Well" replies the man. "To be honest it *was* pretty effective. But I gotta say, I prefer toilet paper!"
What does toilet paper and the Avatar have in common?
They disappear when the world needs them most.
I once used a toilet that had a note on it that said aim like a Jedi, not like a Stormtrooper .
So i closed my eyes and let the force guide me as i peed.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
You know what they say about toilet humor...
It's the s**... form of comedy!
"Is your toilet blushing!?"
"Nah, he's just flushed."
My toilet is now computerized and part of the Internet of Things
Giving new meaning to the word downloading for me.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Toilet paper is the only thing....
where having a s**... means you're almost out.
When going to the toilet, would you rather use the left or right hand to wipe your buthole
I would personally rather use the toilet paper.
Toilets in power plants are always built on level surfaces...
to prevent rolling brown outs.
There was once a toilet paper thief.
He would have been arrested, but he was let go because he did not steal one particular brand. He got off Scott-free.
When I'm on the toilet I like to compose rhyming couplets
It's poetry in motion
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
The toilet at work is broken
It has two b**..., one for solid waste and one for liquid – no matter which one I push it takes both.
What happens when toilet paper grows up big and strong?
It becomes a toiletry.
Toilet paper is like condoms
The thinner it is the riskier, but when it breaks it feels so much better.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What's a toilet on a Portuguese jetty called?
A porto p**....
You never appreciate what you have 'til it's gone.
toilet paper is a good example of this.
Why do the toilets at the border only have pissoirs?
Because they are duty free.
Why couldn't the toilet paper cross the road?
Because Karen bought it all.
Toilet paper math isn't that confusing.
It's easy once you apply yourself.
Where do toilets come from?
They grow on toiletries..
A doctor's toilet gets clogged up
He calls a plumber. Plumber shows up, unclogs the toilet and gives the doctor bill for $200.
Doctor: $200? For 15 minutes worth of work? That's $800 an hour! I'm a top neurosurgeon in this city, 15 years of medical school, 3 years of residence, and even I don't make $800 an hour!
Plumber: Yeah. When I was a top surgeon in this city I also didn't make $800 an hour. Which is why I became a plumber.
Toilet brush
Whilst this is a joke, my nan actually told me this yesterday and insists it's a true story from the 60s when she lived in Cornwall...
So, my grandma was was walking down the street and her neighbour, let's call her Beverley, was heading towards her carrying her shopping but was walking kind of funny.
Naturally my Nan asked if everything was okay and if she's alright, had she hurt herself? No she said, I'm okay, I've just bought one of those new toilet brushes, but I think I'm going to switch back to paper
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I Think My Toilet Has anger Issues
Whenever I flush it, it completely loses its s**....
Why did the toilet roll go to rehab?
Addicted to crack.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
It was no wonder there was a toilet paper shortage.
Given the number of a**... in the country.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I came up with it on the toilet
My personal trainer told me eat healthy like he does. I eat healthy, but not like him. He eats super clean and that is hard for me. I asked him what would be the benefit for me? He said he eats so clean he doesn't even have to p**... anymore.
I think he's full of c**....
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I haven't gone to the toilet in 5 weeks.
I was a bit worried at first.
Then I stopped giving a s**....
The Story of Creation as told by Dog
On the first day of creation, God created the dog.
On the second day, God created man to serve the dog.
On the third day, God created all the animals of the earth (especially the horse) to serve as potential food for the dog.
On the fourth day, God created honest toil so that man could labor for the good of the dog.
On the fifth day, God created the tennis ball so that the dog might or might not retrieve it.
On the sixth day, God created veterinary science to keep the dog healthy, and the man broke.
On the seventh day, God tried to rest, but He had to walk the dog.
What did one toilet say to the other?
You look flushed
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Toilet training
Little Johnny has just been toilet trained and decides to use the big toilet like his daddy…
He pushes up the seat and balances his little pen!s on the rim.
Just then the toilet seat slams down and little Johnny lets out a scream.
His mother comes running to find Johnny hopping round the room clutching his privates and screaming in pain.
He looks up at her with his little tear stained face and sniffles,
K-k-k-k-kiss {sniff} it and make it better .
Little Johnny's mother shouts,
Don't start your father's s**...t with me !
What would you do if all toilets stopped working?
Depends.
I go to the toilet for two reasons.
Number 1 and number 2.
Why couldn't the toilet paper cross the road?
Because it got stuck in a crack.
(This joke was my daughters suggestion)
When I went to the toilet, I left the door open so I could keep watching the movie.
The other passengers on the plane were slightly irritated.
Why did the toilet have to contact HR?
Because it was forced to relive multiple employees of their duties
