Toenails Jokes
26 toenails jokes and hilarious toenails puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about toenails that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Funniest Toenails Short Jokes
Short toenails jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The toenails humour may include short toe nail jokes also.
- My daughter painted her toenails black for winter formal tonight... I told her "I hope you don't run into anyone who's black-toes intolerant."
- How do you hide an elephant in a strawberry patch? Paint it's toenails red.
Don't believe me? Have you ever seen an elephant in a strawberry patch? - Why do elephants paint their toenails red? So that they can hide in cherry trees.
Ever seen an elephant in a cherry tree?
Good hiding spot, huh? - let's trade bad Trump jokes here! Here's mine:
Trump tweets are like a diabetic's toenails : inflammatory, dangerous, and a symptome of a much bigger problem - Why are pedicure places often staffed by Vietnamese people? Because it's a toe-nail language.
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Toenails One Liners
Which toenails one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with toenails? I can suggest the ones about fingernails and toes.
- What does a mother use to keep her childrens' toenails soft and smooth? A pedi-file
- What did the mathemetician do about his ingrown toenail infection? sohcahtoa.
- I just clipped the worst ingrown toe-nail... It was a feet.
- Time to clip my toenails There's no talon when i'll cut em
- My girlfriend LOVES my toenails.. I'm starting to think she's a nailphile.
- Your mommas toenails are so long that... when she steps outside she mows the lawn
- Why do elephants paint their toenails red?
- Doing yoga got me out of the habit of biting my fingernails. Now I bite my toenails.
- Why did the prisoners get there toenails clipped? Because the microwave was broken!
- Your feet are so big You take an Uber to cut your toenails.
- Just before the moon covers the sun, it looks like a giant toenail. And then 'e clips it.
- til the hard way that my toenails are stronger than my teeth.
Uproarious Toenails Jokes to Have a Laugh Out Loud Good Time
What funny jokes about toenails you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean hand nails jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make toenails pranks.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Why did the remorseful child-m**... paint his toe-nails?
He thought it would be a pedicure.
^^^sorry.
Proud Dad Moment
My daughter has two in-grown toe-nails, one on each foot. I was preparing some nice warm soaking water for her while my wife asked our daughter how her feet were doing and the conversation went like this:
Mom: How's your toe doing, you have two toes right?
Me/Daughter (at the exact same time): I have ten toes!
My wife gave the necessary groan and laughed, but my daughter and I shared a truly special moment.
I was most proud.
Me: Why did the elephant paint his toenails red?
Them: Why?
Me: To hide in the strawberry patch
Them: ……..
Me: have you ever seen an elephant in a strawberry patch?
Them: no?
Me: then I guess it works
Cue applause.
Elephants!
Why do elephants paint their toenails red?
...So they can hide in strawberry patches.
Why do elephants paint the soles of their feet yellow?
...So they can hide upside down in a bowl of custard.
Have you ever seen an elephant hiding upside down in a bowl of custard?
How about in a strawberry patch?
No?
See, it works!
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
s**... Rule.!
A new patient was quite upset when the doctor's nurse led him to a small, curtained cubicle and told him to undress. "But I only want the doctor to look at an ingrown toenail!" he protested. "Our rule is that everyone must undress," replied the blond nurse. "That's a s**... rule," grumbled the patient, "making me undress just to look at my toe." "That's nothing," growled a voice from the next cubicle. "I just came to fix the phones!"
I hurt my foot a few days ago
Tripped over the stairs and partially separated my left big toenail. It's getting better, but it still hurts a fair bit.
Yesterday I was walking to class with a female friend of mine who's a cell biology major. I hadn't told her yet about what happened, so eventually she said "So why are you limping, anyway?"
I turned to her, looked her straight in the face, and without missing a beat, I said:
"My toe, sis!"
