JokoJokes

Toe Jokes

159 toe jokes and hilarious toe puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about toe that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

A toe joke is a funny joke that usually involves someone's toes. Toe jokes are usually considered to be silly and light-hearted.

Best Short Toe Jokes

Short toe jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The toe humour may include short foot jokes also.

  1. I got frostbite and had part of my foot amputated. Then my girlfriend left me. She was lack-toes intolerant.
  2. When god created man Gods assistant: Is it done?
    God: Hmm, add a little toe to his foot.
    Gods assistant: Why?
    God: For furniture.
    Gods assistant: Furniture?
    God: Believe me it'll be funny
  3. My daughter painted her toenails black for winter formal tonight... I told her "I hope you don't run into anyone who's black-toes intolerant."
  4. Slightly peeved that the makers of the shampoo "Head and Shoulders"... …have not followed up with a bodywash called, "Knees and toes."
  5. I dropped a huge bottle of ketchup on my foot yesterday.... It caused severe pain To-ma-toes.
  6. My new girlfriend dumped me when she found out I was missing a toe Apparently she's lactose intolerant.
  7. What's the difference between a sock and a camera? One is for five toes, the other is for photos.
  8. My friend lost his toes in a car accident, so I punched him in the face I'm lack toes intolerant
  9. Why did dad divorce mom after hiking Mt. Everest? Mom got frostbite, and had toes amputated.
    Dad's lack-toes-intolerant.
  10. What did one cell say to his sister cell when he stubbed his toe? *mitosis*
    ...
    I'll show myself out.

Quick Jump To


Toe joke, What did one cell say to his sister cell when he stubbed his toe?


Make fun with this list of one liners, jokes and riddles. Each joke is crafted with thought and creativity, delivering punchlines that are unexpected and witty. The humor about toe can easily lighten the mood and bring smiles to people's faces. This compilation of toe puns is not just entertaining but also a testament to the art of joke-telling. The jokes in this list are designed to display different humor styles, ensuring that every reader at any age finds something entertaining. Constantly updated, they offer a source of fun that ensures one is always smiling !

Share These Toe Jokes With Friends



Toe One Liners

Which toe one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with toe? I can suggest the ones about nail and big toe.

  1. Why can't lebron james stand on his tippy toes? He gets no support from his Cavs
  2. What's that black stuff between an elephants toes? Slow Natives.
  3. Jesus Christ was supposed to be named Franklin.... Until Mary stubbed her toe.
  4. Why did the Redgaurd's toe hurt? His Hammerfell
  5. What do you call a mexican with a rubber toe? Roberto
  6. There's an actual medical term for when your foot falls asleep. It's called 'coma toes'
  7. What did the cell say to his sister cell when she stepped on his toe? Mitosis.
  8. Why do ballerinas dance on their toes? So they don't wake up the audience!
  9. My gf broke up with me after I licked her toes… …i guess I got off on the wrong foot.
  10. What do cannibals use to freshen their breath? Men toes
  11. I dislike people who are missing toes… You could say I'm lack-toes-intolerant!
  12. What do you call someone who hates people who are missing toes? Lactose intolerant
  13. How do cannibals freshen their breath? Men toes.
  14. If athletes get athlete's foot, what do astronauts get? Missile toe.
  15. What do you call a woman who does not have all her toes on one foot? Normal

Stub Your Toe Jokes

Here is a list of funny stub your toe jokes and even better stub your toe puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • Why do cowboys always want to die with their boot on? So they don't stub their toes when they kick the bucket.
  • Yo mama so fat, When she stubs her toe, her forehead ripples.
  • I stubbed my toe and got scolded by my parents for yelling What the duck They were angry that I used fowl language
  • Can't move your toe after a bad stub? No problem, just call a toetruck.
  • Jesus's name was going to be Frank Then Joseph stubbed his toe and the rest is history
  • A Geologist stubs his toe "Schist!"
  • What did Voldemort say when stubbed his toe trying to enter Hogwarts? "Dumb 'ol door!"
  • What did Michael Jackson say when he stubbed his toe? Ow!
    I'll be making my exit now. :)
  • I hate it when I stub my toe while rapping Gucci-dang
  • What did the scientist say when he stubbed his toe? Flourine Uranium Carbon Potassium.

Stubbed Toe Jokes

Here is a list of funny stubbed toe jokes and even better stubbed toe puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • What did the boy say to his nanny when she stubbed her toe while playing tag? Na-na boo-boo
  • What did Michael Jackson say when he stubbed his toe "OW!"
  • TIFU by accidentally ramming my toe against the cigarette urn while I was trying to throw my cigarette away. Oops, wrong stub.
  • What did ZZ Top say when they stub their toe? Oh ow ow ow
  • What did the T-Rex say when he stubbed his toe? "Ouch. I'm Dino-sore!"
  • What did the kid say to his nanny when she stubbed her toe while trying to catch him? Nana boo boo
  • What did the spelling bee contestant say when he stubbed his toe "O-U-C-H!"
  • What's the similarity between cellular reproduction and when James Charles stubs his toe? They're both Mitosis
  • My biology teacher stubbed his toe today and screamed.. Mitosis
  • What did the Frequently Asked Question say when it stubbed it's toe? "FAQ!"

Big Toe Jokes

Here is a list of funny big toe jokes and even better big toe puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • Lifting weights changed my life. I dropped 25 pounds... Right on my big toe. It's broken now I can hardly walk
  • Awful pick up line Are you my big toe?
    Because i want to bang you on every piece of furniture.
  • I wish you were my big toe So I could bang you on my coffee table
  • Failed Pick-Up Lines: I wish you were my big toe.
    Then I would bang you on every piece of furniture at my house..
  • Dang girl, I want to treat you like my big toe... ...and bang you on every piece of furniture in the house.
    (sorry if its been submitted before)
  • What kind of vehicle does Bigfoot drive? A big toe-truck
  • My mate Tom lost his two big toes in an accident. We now call him ... Tomatoes
  • I was fat and had a beer belly so big i couldn't see my toes. so i prayed to be able to see my toes again.

    i can now proudly say i am the record holder for the largest feet in the world
  • So the other my sister made my big toe split in two Ahh, mitosis
  • What do you do if an Elephant breaks his big toe? Call a big toe truck.

Tic Tac Toe Jokes

Here is a list of funny tic tac toe jokes and even better tic tac toe puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • If athletes get athlete's foot, what do candy makers get? Tic tac toe
  • What you call toes that taste like mint? Tic-tac-toe!
    My 8 year old daughter made this one up.
  • How many birds can play tic-tac-toe? Toucan
  • What do you call someone with mints on their feet? Tic tac toes
  • I once amputated a man's toe and replaced it with a prosthetic made from a breath mint. I gave him a Tic Tac toe.
  • I played my Asian friend in Tic Tac Toe It was a Thai.
  • It usually makes me happy when I go first in a game... ...Except in tic tac toe.
    Then it makes me cross.
  • Have you heard of the Tic-Tac-Toe Beetle? It has an X-O-skeleton.
  • I sold my foot that had the Tic-Tac toe today... I heard collectors pay more for items in mint condition.
  • You know what they call the strategy involving freshmints while playing a game of timed tic tac toe? The tic tac tick tick tic tac toe tactic

Missing Toe Jokes

Here is a list of funny missing toe jokes and even better missing toe puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • I have a problem with people that are missing body parts. I guess I might just be lack-toes-intolerant.
  • I found out one of my friend is missing all his toes on his right foot I had to end the friendship because I'm lack-toes intolerant
  • When I found out my Tinder date was missing a foot, I nearly threw up. I'm lack-toes intolerant.
  • I hate when people have missing toes! You might even say I'm...lack toes intolerant.
    (Is this a dad joke? The gf is pretty baby crazy lately and i dont know if im ready yet)
  • This talk about a Muslim ban is ridiculous. We should be banning people who are missing toes. Sorry!! I'm lack toes intolerant.
  • I can't stand people with parts of their feet missing I guess that means I'm lack toes intolerant
  • My girlfriend abruptly broke up with me She found out that I was missing a toe on my left foot.
    I had no idea she was lack toes intolerant.
  • Q: What do diabetics kiss under during the holidays? A: Their Missing Toes
Toe joke, Q: What do diabetics kiss under during the holidays?

Quirky and Hilarious Toe Jokes to Let the Chuckles Begin.

What funny jokes about toe you can tell and make people laugh? One example I can give are clean pinky toe jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help make toe prank.

I dropped my knife and cut off a toe

After the surgery to reattach it, the doctor comes in.
Doctor: I have some good news and bad news.
Me: Tell me the bad news first doc.
Doctor: The bad news is they mistook a piece of candy for your toe.
Me: No way. Whats the good news?
Doctor: The good news is the surgery was successful.
Me: What are you trying to say?
Doctor: You now have a Tic-Tac toe.

I met my wife at the zoo.

The moment I saw her there, dressed head to toe in khaki and covered in animal s**..., I knew she was a keeper.

A woman was forced to choose between two suitors to wed.

The first man was about 4 foot 5 tall and ran a very successful store that sold many fruits and vegetables.
The other man was disgusting. He was covered head to toe in boils and bedsores and smelled awful. He had not ever even seen a bath. He was pretty much the most foul human you could imagine.
Yet the woman wed the second man.
Because no matter how g**... you pictured him to be...
The first man was just a little grocer.

A female nudist calls for a taxi

The taxi stops and the driver scans her from head to toe, with big bold eyes.
At this the nudist erupts: Haven't you seen a n**... girl before?
Driver : It's not about that, I'm just wondering where have you kept the money to pay me..

If a ring for a toe is a toe ring...

Then shouldn't a ring for a finger be a *f**...*

A woman asked her husband, "What do you like most in me, my pretty face or my s**... body?"

He looked at her from head to toe and replied, "I like your sense of humor!"

Newfie Joke

A Newfie was standing at a bar and a beautiful woman was beside him so he leans over and says,
"You remind me of my little toe"
She replies, "What? You Mean I'm small and cute?"
He says, "No. I'll probably bang you on the coffee table
later when I'm drunk."

A man walks into a psychologist's office..

A man walks into a psychologist's office wrapped head to toe in transparent cellophane...
The psychologist takes one look at him and says, 'I can clearly see your nuts.'

God finishes creating the man

His angel assistant asks him: "Are we done"?
God says: "Yes. Wait, actually, no. Just add another little toe to his feet."
Assistant: "Why?"
God: "For home furniture."
Assistant: "Furniture?"
God: "Trust me, it's going to be hillarious."

My girlfriend reminds me of my pinky toe

She's small, cute, and will probably end up getting banged on my coffee table tonight

Hey Cutie, you remind me of my little toe you know that?

Why? Because Im cute?
No Because Im gonna bang you on the coffee table later on tonight. ;)

A married couple of 30 years are talking....

The wife asked her husband, "What do you like most in me, my pretty face or my s**... body?" He looked at her from head to toe and replied, "I like your sense of humor!"

What do you call it when you create a copy of your enemy's toe?

Foe Toe Synthesis

A man walks into a bar and orders a shot of whiskey...

The bartender gives him one, looks at him head to toe, and asks, "So, what did you dress up for this Halloween?"
The man replies, "A nine-carbon chain".
The bartender chuckles and says, "A nine-carbon chain with alcohol?"
"Yeah, any problem with that?"
"No, nonanol"

Studying chemistry right now and thought of this one. Y'all enjoy Halloween now!

God making the human race

Assistant: Is it done?
God: Hmmm, add a little toe.
Assistant: Why?
God: Furniture.
Assistant: Furniture?
God: Believe me, it wil be fun.

What do you call a Spanish man with a rubber toe?

Roberto.

An old man.....

An old man limped into a doctors office and said, "Doctor, my left knee hurts so bad, I can hardly walk!"
The doctor, slowly eyed him from head to toe, and asked, "Sir, how old are you?"
The old man replied that he was 98.
The doctor, just sighed, and said to the old man, "Sir, just look at you, you're 98 years of age! You're nearly 100 years old, and you're complaining that your left knee hurts! What do you expect?"
The old man looks at him and replies, "Well my right knee's also 98, and that doesn't hurt!"

My girlfriend lost a toe and i dumped her

I'm lack-toes intolerant

You remind me of my little toe

Why because I'm so cute and tiny?
No, I will probably get drunk later and bang you the coffee table.

Why did the blonde tip toe near the medicine cabinet?

Because she didn't want to wake the sleeping pills.

What's the difference between the little toe on my left foot and my s**... life?

Everything wants to bang my little toe

Why are leggings and sand the same?

They both get stuck in c**....

A man and his wife are playing Dungeons and Dragons together...

During the man's turn, he rolls his D20 and rolls a 1. Simultaneously, he stubs his toe against the table leg so hard that his toe essentially falls off. Blood everywhere. The wife has to rush them both to the ER.
She's waiting.
She's waiting...
The doctor emerges, and the wife rushes over. "How is my husband? What's his condition?"
The doctor replies: "Critical, miss."

What do you call a guy with a rubber toe?

Roberto.
My friend had some random guy come up to him in LAX and tell him this joke. No context, and no conversation afterwards. Just ten words and then gone. It's pretty much become my favorite joke because of that.

Gabriel ask god have about his latest creation

what is this?
"its human"
what is that 2 round thing?
"it's called eyes, so they can see my other creations"
and this thing?
"it's called hands, so they can create things just like i did"
and this?
"it's toe, for the furniture"
what furniture?
"trust me, it will be hilarious"

My sister stepped on my toe.

Me being a biology student , I shouted - MITOSIS

I told my wife her toe looks weird

She said That's a little callous

What do you call a man with a rubber toe?


Roberto.

The sun was coming up. Adam & Eve had just spent the entire night ...

... having glorious unadulterated s**.... Eve decided to go wash up in the river close by. Just as she dipped her toe in the water to feel the temperature, she heard a thundering voice, "Do NOT go into the water!". Eve shrugged, and thought to herself, "What's the worse that could happen?". She waded into the water waist deep.
.... Another thundering voice came from the sky, "Now i'll NEVER get the smell out of the FISH!".

What do you call a Mexican with a rubber toe?

What do you call a Mexican with a rubber toe?
Ruberto.

How does Snoop Dogg pay for pedicures?

Crip toe currency.

A man walks into a Psychiatrists office wrapped completely from neck to toe in nothing but plastic wrap...

The Psychiatrist takes one look at him sighs and says, "Well, I can see your nuts."

A n**... man walks into a doctor's office.

A n**... man walks into a doctor's office wrapped in Cellophane from head to toe.
The doctor says, "Well, clearly I can see your nuts."

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple?

Cutting your toe off with an axe

A man walks up to a girl in a bar and says

"You remind me of my little toe" .
She says, "Is that because I'm small and cute?"
He says, "No, its because I'm going to bang you on the table later"

A whole tub of margarine fell on my toe three weeks ago and it still hurts.

I can't believe it's not better.

Since Trump nicknamed Kim Jun-Un Rocket Man, when Christmas comes along..

he can call him missile toe.
Joke originally told by my coworker today, who is a master of puns.

Girl, imma treat you like I treat my pinky toe

I'm going to bang you on all the furniture all night long

Why are eye jokes worse than toe jokes?

Because toe jokes may be cheesy, but eye jokes are cornea.

I recently realized that my pinky toe is pansexual.

It likes to bang everything.

This n**... man walks into a psychiatrist's office ...

He is n**... except that he is completely wrapped in head to toe with cellophane. He says, "First impression, doc, am I crazy?"
The doctor says, "Well, normally I don't like making rash diagnoses but in this case it is sooo obvious. Everyone in my entire office can see your nuts."

What do you call a guy with a toe growing out of his knee?

Tony.

Proud Dad Moment

My daughter has two in-grown toe-nails, one on each foot. I was preparing some nice warm soaking water for her while my wife asked our daughter how her feet were doing and the conversation went like this:
Mom: How's your toe doing, you have two toes right?
Me/Daughter (at the exact same time): I have ten toes!
My wife gave the necessary groan and laughed, but my daughter and I shared a truly special moment.
I was most proud.

The Man Who Needed Help.

So, a man walks into a Physiatrist office, he is wearing no clothing, but he is wrapped from head to toe in Saran wrap...
He asks the Shrink if in his profession opinion the man is okay.
The Physiatrist say; "Well I can clearly see your nuts!".
The man in Cling wrap turns around too walk about before sarcastically blurting out; "Woah, Thanks Doc...", then walked out of the Physiatrist office.
The Physiatrist looks at his receptionist and say's; "Did you see that a**...!".

I recently had s**... with a girl who I thought I was legal age

A wave of horror came over me when I noticed her toe tag said "15 years old"

Street gangs of southern LA have started decapitating each other and using the body parts to trade for goods...

The most valuable of which is the Crip toe currency.

My sister trod on my foot…

My sister trod on my foot so hard that part of it split off and formed an exact replica of me.
'My toe Sis!' I yelled.

I had a friend who lost a toe in an accident.

We aren't friends any more, I'm extremely lack toes intolerant.

What do you see when a woman in the Army wears her pants too tight?

Camo toe.

What do you call an Italian with a rubber toe?

Roberto

My son accidentally smashed his foot on the table and as he was hopping around the room screaming in pain, I rushed to the phone, picked it up and asked him, "Do you want me to call..."

"...a TOE TRUCK!!??"

This guy sites down next to a pretty young girl at a bar

This guy sites down next to a pretty young lady at a bar and they strike up a conversation. The conversation is going pretty well, so the guy says "you remind me of my little toe." The lady, who is a bit confused, responds "is that because I'm small and cute?" The guy responds "no, it's because I'm going to bang you on the coffee table when I get home."

An Englishman, and Irishman, and a Scotsman are drinking beer in a cabin.

An Englishman, and Irishman, and a Scotsman are drinking beer in a cabin. The Irishman says "Excuse me a second," and steps outside for a few minutes. When he comes back in, he's drenched from head to toe.
The Englishman asks, "Is it raining outside?"
The Irishman says, "No, it's windy."

2 people dislocated my toe earlier

It was a joint effort.

My grandpa kicked the bucket yesterday, but he's still in the hospital.

His toe injury was more severe than originally thought.

I was out on the west coast, trying to sell some guns to a street gang.

The gang member handed me a bag of severed toes with tiny $'s and tiny blue bandanas tied to them. I said "What's this?! No cash?!" He said it was the latest trend "Crip Toe Currency".
After a few months I wanted to buy a stolen sports car, but had no cash. My friend worked at a morgue so he got me a bag of severed toes and I drew $'s on them and tied tiny red bananas to them. I went to that gang member and tried to pay for the car and he said...
"Sorry. I don't want your Blood Money."

Girl you remind me of my pinky toe...

...cuz I'm pretty sure I'm gonna bang you on my coffee table later.

Penguin driving home has car trouble...

A penguin driving home when his car begins to overheat. He parks at a garage and the mechanic says it will be a little bit before he can look at it.
The penguin decides to go across the street and get ice cream. The penguin slops ice cream all over himself from head to toe and returns to the mechanic. The mechanic comes out and says well it looks like you've blown a seal.
The penguin says no it's ice cream, honest.

Who do you call when you hurt your feet while driving?

A Toe Truck

Blind Man

I just passed a blind man in home depot. He was dressed head to toe in camouflage. I assume he was trying to even the playing field. Well done sir. (True Story)

What do you call a bee with a toe?

"Toby"

You are like my pinky toe!

Cute, tiny and tonight I will bang you against the kitchen table.

Toe joke, You are like my pinky toe!

jokes about toe

Jokes are a form of humor that often involves clever wordplay, puns or unexpected twists in a story. These are usually short narratives or anecdotes crafted with the intent of amusing its audience by ending in an unexpected or humorous punchline. Jokes are a universal form of entertainment that people of all ages like adults, teens, kids and toddlers can enjoy. JokoJokes' FAQ section has answers to questions you may have!

The impact of these toe jokes can be both social and psychological. They can help to ease tensions, create bonds between people, and even improve overall mental health. The success of a joke often relies on the delivery, timing, and audience. Jokes can be used in various settings, from social gatherings to professional presentations, and are often employed to lighten the mood or enhance a story.