The Best 20 Toddlers Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Toddlers jokes. There are some toddlers doubtfire jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these toddlers kiddie puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 of the Funniest Toddlers Jokes and Puns

LPT: If you've got toddlers at home, and you're going to take them out...

You can probably get away with using a light sedative. Save chloroform for children 12 and older.

A man and a blonde woman are talking about their children while waiting for them at nursery.

Man: How many kids do you have here mam?

Blonde: Oh I have two toddlers. What about you?

Man: I have one that's just under two.

Blonde: Look I know I'm a blonde, but I know how much one is.

When toddlers get naked and run around giggling, it's "cute" and "funny"

...but when I do it, I'm "drunk" and "not allowed back in Target"

Toddlers joke, When toddlers get naked and run around giggling, it's "cute" and "funny"

What do you call an army of toddlers?

Infantry.

What do toddlers and paleontologists have in common ?

They both want to know your top 5 favorite dinosaurs


What do you call an army of toddlers?

Infant-ry.

*insert cringe here*

Susan taught all the toddlers a new song during Sunday school.

While learning "Must Jesus Bear the Cross Alone", the children stumbled when coming to the line "The consecrated cross I'll bear." After a bit of practice, everyone seemed to have gotten the hang of it and class was let out.

The following Sunday, a concerned mother came up to Susan and asked why her daughter was so focused on a constipated, cross-eyed bear.

Toddlers joke, Susan taught all the toddlers a new song during Sunday school.

Did you hear about the band of roving pirate toddlers?

They spend their days sailing the Hi-C

Last year 52 Americans were shot by people who barely speak english, have no marketable skills, and are prone to angry outburst based on their views...

...toddlers are the worst.

What do white supremacists send their toddlers to before kindergarten?

Pre-KKK

Toddlers are like Jesus

They turn water into whine.

You can explore toddlers adults reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean toddlers toddler dad jokes. There are also toddlers puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.


How many toddlers does it take to paint a garage?

One of you throw it hard enough.

Why are more toddlers not in jail?

When it's nap time, so many resist a rest.

I will always regret the time of my life where I stole Minivans

I was just so amazed that they made shoes for toddlers.

How many toddlers does it take to change a light bulb

Apparently more than 20 seeing how my basement is still dark

Why do parents send their toddlers to the army for daycare?

Because they're sending them to the infantry!

Toddlers joke, Why do parents send their toddlers to the army for daycare?

5% of toddlers are overweight

and they're called waddlers"

I won a 5 on 1 street fight yesterday

Those toddlers had it coming

What do you call toddlers who are dictators?

Dictator Tots


What do you call toddlers with down syndrome?

Tater Tots

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the toddlers preschool jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working toddlers purple piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

Joko Jokes