Following is our collection of funny Toddler jokes. There are some toddler tot jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.
Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these toddler accidentaly puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.
For twenty bucks either'll take care of your toddler.
-&y (yup, mine)
So a teenager walks into a store in the mall to buy a hat. He asks for what size he should get. The store manager tells him most of the hats are one size fits all. Just then a screaming toddler walks in followed by a young girl. The boy looks at them, turns to the store manager and says "that's what they said about the condom."
Her daughter didn't look surprised.
Jack Danimals!
"Hey baby, you've got some fiiiiiiine motor skills."
...but when I do it, I'm "drunk" and "not allowed back in Target"
I said, "Looks like we have a minor strike on our hands."
(A triple ententre for the win.)
Apparently more than 20 seeing how my basement is still dark
He was going through mid life crisis.
and says "I'd like a toddler on the rocks, please"
Not a toddler, I can tell you that
You can explore toddler infancy reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean toddler boy dad jokes. There are also toddler puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.
Eric Clapton wouldn't let a bag of cocaine fall off a balcony.
He was resisting a rest
When she picked up a toddler the zoo keepers shot her.
Toddler was resisting a rest.
My toddler is driving me CRAZY!
... I said that was a good idea, because I wouldn't want a flat minor.
Eric Clapton would never let a bag of coke fall out the window #TearsInHeaven
If you can't find it within three days, you can presume it's dead.
I paid the Fisher-Price.
When it's nap time, so many resist a rest.
Now we're mama and AUGHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!
One of you throw it hard enough.
I'd gotten into a drawer full of Greek plays. She walked in to catch me tearing Hippolytus in half. I'd done the same to others as well. The Bacchae, Heracles, Madea. As I stood there, happily shredding what had to be a 120 year old text, she began flailing and screaming.
"My a-beautiful boy, why? Why-a Euripides?"
Eric Clapton wouldn't let a bag of heroin fall out a 53rd-floor window.
She tells her older child, Hey look at your little brother type on the keyboard just like daddy!
Her daughter replies, No mommy, he types like you. Daddy uses one hand.
I asked him if it tasted like quackers.
Potty training my toddler can be likened to the maiden voyage of the Titanic...
At the beginning we are hopeful and excited but by the end everyone's crying and wet.
Feedback
They both wet the bed.
He thought it meant "goodbye."
so I coughed directly in his mouth
A midlife crisis
It was only when I reached 28 that my parents admitted that I had been Fostered.
A toddler
To get to the other slide.
They turn water into whine.
If you can't find it in three days it's probably dead.
He finally picks her up, throws her over his shoulder, and yells stop resisting a rest!
Infantry
Tell him to wait until the vote count is finished
"Well, it's not unusual" i told her
They both want to know your top 5 favorite dinosaurs
A flat minor.
I was a very clever toddler. By the time I was ten months old, I could already walk."
"You call that clever?" the other said. "I managed to trick my parents into carrying me until I was three!"
.... and ends up in a toddler playground
and yells "I'm free! I'm free!"
and a kids walks up and says "So big deal, I'm four!"
If you stay in the house, you might need to use sound cancelling headphones too though.
She brought him a little cup of "tea" which was just water, of course. After several cups of tea , her Mom came home, Dad made her wait in the living room to watch his little Princess bring him a cup of tea, because it was, "Just the cutest thing!" Mom waited, and sure enough, here she come down the hall with a cup of tea for Daddy. She watches him drink it up and then says, "You know the only place she can reach water, is the toilet!
One is a whiny toddler and the other is a tiny waddler.
Every single time my response was, "I can't put your shoes on. They don't fit me."
I would laugh, they would glare. It was good times. Hopefully some of you with toddlers get as much mileage out of this one as I did.
My wife sent a picture to the family WhatsApp of him watching Luke duel Vader captioned 'Learning the art of the light saber!' to which I responded:
'By the end of that fight he will probably be twice as handy as Lukeβ¦'
Doctor: Keep an eye on him, but you shouldn't expect any change.
"No thanks! I'm allergic to dinosaurs, they make me break out in Dino sores"
Audible groan and required "I hate you" from their babysitter.
Don't worry, it's all baby-safe.
You can tell when they're full of shit.
Well, uh yeah, up to a point, replied the Ancient Egyptian builder
(Believe it or not my toddler just told me that joke. I'm so proud)
Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the toddler tantrum jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.
We suggest to use only working toddler kid piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.