Toaster Jokes
124 toaster jokes and hilarious toaster puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about toaster that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Discover the funniest toaster jokes you won't find anywhere else! From a toaster taking a bath to a toaster oven and more, read through these humorous jokes and share them with friends. Don't miss jokes about a toaster strudel, dishwasher, electrician and stove, too!
Funniest Toaster Short Jokes
Short toaster jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The toaster humour may include short toasted bread jokes also.
- And God said to John: "Come forth and receive eternal life". But he came fifth and won a toaster.
- I wouldn't be mad. And the Lord said unto John "Come forth and receive eternal life". But John came fifth and won a toaster.
- And the Lord said to Peter 'Come forth and receive eternal life' Peter came fifth and won a toaster.
- So if guns don't kill people, people kill people Does that mean toasters don't toast toast toast toast toast?
- You know what would make your bad day even worse? Finding out your toaster is water-proof.
- I put some big, giant, large, massive, enormous, huge bread in the toaster. I was making synonym toast.
- I have my entire Valentine's day planned with my toaster! Okay, so first, we're going to take a bath.
- My friend keeps the toaster on the lowest setting I suspect he's got black toast intolerance
- My mother-in-law just asked for "bath stuff" for her birthday She seemed unimpressed with the toaster I bought her
- I told my wife that I think all our electrical items are spying on us. Nonsense she said.
I laughed. She laughed. Siri laughed. Alexa laughed. The toaster laughed.
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Toaster One Liners
Which toaster one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with toaster? I can suggest the ones about microwave and sandwich maker.
- Wife asked me to get "bath stuff" for xmas. Hope she likes her toaster.
- I like my women like I like my toasters, Turned on, and in the tub with me
- I asked my husband for a bath bomb for Christmas He got me a toaster.
- I could tell that my parents hated me. My bath toys were a toaster and a radio.
- When I found out my toaster wasn't water proof... I WAS SHOCKED!
- A microwave and a refrigerator get married. Who gives the speech? The Toaster.
- The man who invented toaster settings has died. He'll be cremated at 6.
- Hey girl are you a toaster? Because I want to take a bath with you
- When I found out my toaster wasn't waterproof... I was shocked!
- When my toaster broke, my wife left me. I guess she was lack toast intolerant
- I put one slice of toast in my toaster and got two out... Must have been mitoastis
- I'm not saying I'm a bad cook. But how long does pasta stay in the toaster?
- If 2020 were a bath bomb... It would be a toaster.
- Y'know what would be confusing? Finding out that your toaster is waterproof
- I like my women like I like my toasters... Two warm holes and never leaves the kitchen.
Toaster Bath Jokes
Here is a list of funny toaster bath jokes and even better toaster bath puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- My sister asked for a bath bomb for her birthday, so I gave her a toaster. Same thing if you think about it.
- My wife said she wanted new kitchen appliances or some new bath bombs for our anniversary. I compromised and bought her a toaster.
- My Parents Love Me Whenever I went to bathe they would shower me with Toasters, Hair Dryers, and Fans.
- What are bath bombs for suicidal people? Toasters!
- Asked my mum what do you want for christmas she replied get me some bath stuff I got her a toaster
She didnt see the funny side - My last girlfriend asked if I could play Smoke on the water.... so I threw a toaster in her bath
- Fracking Toasters!! Don't you hate it when you buy a toaster from bed bath and beyond and when you get home it won't stop talking about Gaius Baltar.
- I knew I was an unwanted baby when I saw... that my bath toys were a toaster and a radio.
RIP Joan Rivers. - I went and tried to buy a toaster on the Dark Web One of them was called the "Bath Bomb."
- God said to Moses, come fourth and you shall receive eternal power. He ended up coming fifth, and just received a filled up bath and toaster. (I read this in the bible btw)
Cheeky Toaster Jokes that Will Make You and Your Friends Chuckle
What funny jokes about toaster you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean buttered toast jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make toaster pranks.
And Jesus said unto them, "Come forth and you shall receive everlasting life."
We all know how John came fith and won a toaster, but Joseph didn't even come and he got a baby!
Appliances
My wife has made me buy an electric bread maker, electric stove, electric blender, electric toaster and other appliances. Now she's complaining that we have too many appliances and nowhere to sit down. So I bought her an electric chair.
The economy is so bad
I went to buy a toaster and they gave me a bank.
Blonde Breakfast Dilemma
A man watches as his blonde girlfriend comes downstairs to make breakfast.
At first she attempts to lift the stove, struggles, and sighs.
Next she tries lifting the microwave, again to no avail. Finally she lifts the toaster and smiles, makes toast and eats her breakfast.
This goes on for a couple of days before her boyfriend finally asks what in the world is going on.
The blonde replies, "My new medication doesn't allow me to operate heavy machinery and the toaster is the only thing I can lift."
I threw my toaster into the toilet the other day.
It was a shock to the cistern.
A lady goes to the store to buy a hook
..to mount on a wall to hang her coat. She walks up to the counter with it but doesn't have a screw to mount it to the wall. The checkout guy says "do you want a screw for the hook? She answers ""No but I'll blow you for that toaster."
(A version of an old Andrew Dice Clay joke)
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What did the toaster say to the bread?
I want you inside me.
I've always enjoyed the mind control jokes. Do you know any?
Here's a couple of my favorites:
Ask someone to:
Spell "roast."
Spell "coast."
Spell "most."
Then ask them: What do you put in a toaster?
(The answer, is "bread.")
Another: What does M-A-C-D-O-N-A-L-D spell? (MacDonald)
What does M-A-C-G-R-E-G-O-R spell? (MacGregor)
What does M-A-C-H-I-N-E-R-Y spell? (machinery, not Mac Hinery)
One more that always worked for me:
Point at a piece of paper and ask "what color is that?"
Answer: "white"
Spell "silk"
Now ask: "what do cows drink?"
They usually answer "milk!"
No, they drink water!
what do you call a liberal humanitarian with a broken toaster
lack toast and tolerant
A dog is similar to a banana...
... if you bite it, the mushroom overheats the toaster
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
My friend asked me why I carry my gun inside my house
I told him 'Decepticons.'
He laughed, I laughed, the toaster laughed.
So I shot the toaster.
It was a good day.
Why did the toaster break up with the outlet?
Because the outlet had all the power. Sorry, bye. Dadjokes.
Jesus said unto John, "Come fourth and receive eternal life." But John came fifth and won a toaster.
Jesus tells Peter, "Come forth and you shall have eternal glory!"
Peter came in fifth and won a toaster.
What do you call it when a toaster eats a toaster
Cannatoasterlism
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
My wife asked my why i carry a gun in the house.
I looked at her and said "Decepticons". She laughed, i laughed, the toaster laughed, i shot the toaster. It was a good time.
What do you put in a toaster joke
Spell roast five times, r-o-a-s-t, r-o-a-s-t, r-o-a-s-t, r-o-a-s-t, r-o-a-s-t.
What do you put in a toaster?
I usually put bread in a toaster.
A man recently got electrocuted by his toaster...
He later said "It was a shocking experience!"
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This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What's the difference between a Toaster and h**...?
A toaster can only burn two things at once.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
My wife asked me why I carry a gun around the house.
"To fight the Decepticons," I said.
She laughed. I laughed.
The toaster laughed.
I shot the toaster.
TIL I haven't actually been having conversations with my furniture...
My toaster told me
Ever since my toaster has been broken I have been feeling unwell.
I guess I must be lack toast intolerant.
What's the difference between my ex and my toaster?
It only takes 120 volts to turn on my toaster.
Managed to sell a toaster with Norton Antivirus today
Told the customer it would guard against popups
Where do you eat toaster waffles on the beach?
San Diego!!
And then the lord said......
...come forth and you shall be granted eternal life...But i came fifth and won a toaster instead!
Which is cool because i did not have a toaster
God said too Joseph, come fourth and be granted with enternal life...
Joseph came fifth and got a toaster
I thought I'd surprise my girlfriend and re-wire the toaster.
She was shocked.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What do you call a s**... toaster?
A crumb dumpster
Two toasters are sitting on a counter. One toaster turns to the other and says, "Do you sometimes feel empty?"
To which the other toaster replies, "OH MY GOD! A talking toaster!"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
My dad asked why i have a gun in my house
Is said because of the decepticons, i laughed, my dad laughed, the toaster laughed, i shot the toaster, it was a good night.
Jesus said "come forth unto me and recieve enternal salvation!"
Paul came fifth and won a toaster.
What do you call a rogue toaster?
A rebel appliance.
Did you hear about the auntie who plugged her electric blanket into the toaster?
She kept popping out of bed
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
My girlfriend stopped being my toaster strudel today...
Now that she's on birth control, she became my t**...!
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A woman walks into a hardware store and says, "I want to buy a hinge."
The clerk says, "Do you wanna screw for that hinge?"
The woman replies, "No thanks, but I'll blow you for a toaster."
What do my toaster and I have in common?
We both like to be in the same bathtub at the same time.
So baby pull me closer.....
In the bathtub, with a toaster
A toast!
Had to throw away my toaster because it kept burning my toast. I guess you could say I'm black toast intolerant.
What did the bread say before it jumped into the toaster?
"I'M BREADY TO DIE"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
My wife asked why I brought a gun home
I told her it was in case the decepticons attacked. She said that's the silliest thing she's ever heard and that I didn't need a gun. My wife laughed, I laughed, the toaster laughed. I shot the toaster.
Then the Lord told John to come fourth to receive eternal life
But he came fifth and received a toaster
One day...
God came to Jake and said," Come forth my child, and thou shall receive eternal youth." But Jake came fifth and won a toaster.
A loaf of bread, a toaster and a bath plug are in a shopping cart...
Maybe not. ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
The Hardware Store
A woman goes into a hardware store and tells the the proprietor that she would like to buy a hinge. The proprietor asks her if she would like a screw to go along with the hinge. The woman responds: No thank you but I'll blow you for that toaster in the corner.
What do you call someone who died by a toaster in a bathtub
Toast
How do you repair a depression at the bottom of a bathtub?
A toaster usually works
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
My favorite lame joke
And God said unto John: Come forth, and you shall receive eternal life.
But john came fifth, and won a toaster.
I know, it's s**... and overused, but it's my favorite...
Hey dad, why did you and mom name my sister Rose?
"Because a rose petal fell on her head when she was a baby, dear son," replied the Dad.
"Oh, thanks for telling me Dad!"
"No problem, Toaster Oven."
I think I'd rather have a toaster as our president...
At least the toaster listens and does its job. Although, there is still a chance of hot air.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Jesus said "Come forth, and you will recieve eternal life....
But you came fitfh and one a toaster.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
How do you make 50 toast at once with only one toaster?
Kick the toaster in a swimming pool.
Ravioli Ravioli
Toaster in the batheoli
What is 1 plus 1?
Toaster Pineapple.
Toasters were originally called....
Tanning breads.
I threw a toaster in my bath
Now I'm toast.
Did you hear about the French chef who dropped the toaster in the bathtub
He commuted sois vide-cide.
Jesus Spoke to his Followers
Jesus spoke to his followers from atop a podium.
"Come forth, and win eternal life!"
John came 5th and won a toaster.
I put some bread in the toaster this morning, but it never popped up again
I think it might be comatoast.
Went shopping at Macy's the other day
Salesman was very helpful. He carefully measured my inseam several times
I told him it wasn't necessary but he insisted
I almost just left but bought the toaster anyway
Toasters...
were the first form of pop-up notifications.
Top ten places to put a toaster in your bathroom.
Number three will shock you!
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I s**... identify as a toaster
You put bread in me and it comes out brown.
