Toasted Bread Jokes

When Chuck Norris puts toast in the toaster it comes out bread.

Chuck Norris can turn toast back into bread.

Chuck Norris can toast bread in a freezer.

One day you're the best thing since sliced bread. The next, you're toast.

I once saw a slice of toast in a zoo.

It was bread in captivity.

Everyone thinks..

Everyone thinks Jesus is soooo good, feeding an army with 3 loaves of bread and a fish.
h**...'s not such a bad guy, he made 6 million jews toast.

A toast to Dad jokes...

Two women knocked at my door and asked what bread I ate.
I said white and they gave me a lecture on the benefits of brown bread for 30 minutes.

I think they were those Hovis Witnesses.

What is the difference between Jesus and h**...?

Jesus fed 5000 people with 5 loaves of bread and 2 fish... h**... made 6 million Jews toast...

I'd like to propose a toast...

To burning bread. Will you marry me?

I really hate people who never have bread for breakfast...

You can say I'm lack toast intolerant

I'll ^see ^^myself ^^^out

Toast

I'd like to propose a toast, but I'm all out of bread.

Why was h**... better than Jesus (offensive)? Belated h**... birthday joke!

Jesus may have fed 5,000 people with a few loaves of bread and fish, but h**... made 6 million Jews toast.

My friend "Jesus wasn't that special"...

After he said that I say "but he made thousands of people bread"
He turns back to me and says "so what, h**... made 6 million Jews toast"

Did you hear about the bread store that burned down?

I think all of their products are toast.

Jesus Christ fed 2,000 people with 5 loaves of bread and 2 fish

But h**... made 6,000,000 jews toast

Everyone always talks about how great Jesus was...

...because he fed 5000 people with a couple fish and five loaves of bread. But no one ever talks about h**.... He made 6 million Jews toast.

I saw Matt Damon eating toast in his hometown...

...could it be Bourne and Bread?

I found a "Fresh Baked Bread" scented candle

I bought it because I love the smell of fresh bread. But when I lit it, it smelled like toast.

Do you know why h**... was more powerful than Jesus

Jesus made 5000 people fish and bread, but h**... made 6 million Jews toast

Did you hear about the bread-less k**... who couldn't drink milk?

He lacked toast and tolerance.

Jesus fed 5,000 Jewish people

With bread and fish, and he's adored for it.
I don't get it,
h**... made 6 million Jewish people toast and he's hated for it

What did the SI7 Agent say to a piece of bread in a costume?

Heh, disguised toast.

What makes Jesus so special?

People are always b**... on about Jesus and how he's so great because he managed to feed the 5000 with 5 loaves of bread and 2 fish, what about h**...? He made 8 million Jews toast.

Why did the man with celiac disease eat a loaf of bread?...

He was a gluten for punishment

h**... vs Jesus

Jesus gave his 10 disciples bread and wine.
h**... made 6 million Jews toast.

Jesus fed 2000 Jews fish and bread.

h**... made 6 million Jews toast.

Apparently I forgot to celebrate National Bread Day yesterday. . .

So in honor of that I'd like to propose a toast!

Jesus Christ may have fed 2000 people with bread and wine...

But Adolf h**... made 6 million Jews toast

My best joke.

During the second world war there was a camp leader who out of the kindness of his heart rescued 160 Jewish people and provided them with warmth, shelter, bottles of water and loaves and loaves of bread. You think this was a kind gesture? You should of seen h**...; he made 6 million Jews toast!

A car collided with a bread bakery and exploded.

The bakery survived, but the car was toast.

When I was 7 my Dad left to get some eggs and bread at the store and never came back.

I was devastated, I was really looking forward to the French toast.

What is the fastest bread?

Raisin Toast

Why is harder to make toast in Australia?

Because Australian bread is damper.

Jesus fed a 100 people bread

h**... made 6 million jews toast

Jesus fed 6 people with 4 loafs of bread and 2 fish.

However adolf h**... made 6 Million jews toast

My girlfriend cooked bread for too long. She asked me if it was still good in my opinion...

I told her nah, it's toast

Why is h**... a better person than Jesus Christ?

Jesus Christ fed 2000 jews with 5 loaves of bread, while h**... made 6 million Jews toast

Jesus fed 2000 Christians with 2 fishes and 5 loaves of bread

Adolf made 6 million Jews toast.

Jesus may have fed five thousand men bread and fish...

But h**... made six million Jews toast.

Jesus gave 2 thousand people bread.

h**... made 6 million Jews toast.

What do you call someone who gets mad when they don't have any bread

Lack Toast Intolerant

I have a medical condition that means I can die if I have burnt bread..

I am black toast intolerant

When the two loaves of bread got married, the grooms speech was a standout.

He was raisin' toast.

I think I might have a slight drinking problem...

My friend asked me to toast some bread... I got up, raised my glass and said: "Here's to the Bread"

Drunks

Drunk guy: "Here's hoping you're in Heaven ten minutes before
the devil knows you're dead!"
Drunk girl: "What's that mean?"
Drunk guy: "It's an Irish toast."
Drunk girl: "Oh. Well, here's to bread, eggs and cinnamon."
Drunk guy: "Huh?"
Drunk girl: "That's

a girl who has an allergy to milk called her aunt

"a girl who has an allergy to milk called her aunt and told her to buy her bread because she's running out of breakfast toast"
she's lack toast and told her aunt

I used to work at a restaurant, but I wasn't a good cook. I could make some good toast though.

It was my bread and butter.

A bank in my city recently caught fire and burned down

Iv never seen that much toasted bread before

I went to the zoo the other day

I saw a piece of toast in a cage. The sign said it was bread in captivity...

A slice of bread stole a lot of money from the sandwich Mafia

so they set his house on fire as he was sleeping.
He's toast now.

A piece of toast walks into a bar.

The bartender starts chatting with him.
"Where are you from? I haven't met many pieces of toast."
The piece of toast takes a long sip of beer, and says "Well, I was born and bread in New York."

A man goes to a restaurant and sees a sign by the door

The sign reads: "Order anything you want, if we cannot make it, you get $300."
So, when the waiter comes he orders steamed elephant t**... with fried giraffe tongue on toast. The waiter goes to the kitchen and gives the cook the order. The kitchen staff is frantic and scrambles to find what the man had ordered. After a few minutes the chef walks out to the man, hands him $300 and says: "You had to order toast on the day we ran out of bread, did you...?"

The Enterprise-D had just accomplished a major Starfleet mission, so the crew went to celebrate at Ten Forward. Captain Picard and Chief O'Brien were chosen to give the toasts.

First O'Brien gave his toast; "May you live as long as you want and not want for as long as you live."
Next Picard gave his toast; "Cinnamon, eggs, bread and maple syrup."
The bartender, Guinan, admired O'Brien's toast, but was absolutely confused by Picard's.
So O'Brien explained, "As you all know, I'm from Ireland, so I gave a traditional Irish toast."
And Picard explained, "And as you all know, I'm from France..."