titled Jokes

funny pick up lines and hilarious titled puns

I was just scammed out of 25 dollars.

I purchased a dvd titled "Tiger Woods' favorite 18 holes." It turned out to be about golf. Tell others so that they can avoid this scam too!!


I just received an email titled $50 TO SEE JUSTIN BIEBER LIVE

I'm really the wrong person to email for these kind of ransoms.


I just read an article titled, "100 Things To Do Before You Die"

I was quite surprised that, "Yell for help!" wasn't one of them.


My favourite thing to do is to walk into book stores and say Hello! I'm looking for a book titled 'How to deal with rejection without killing'.

Do you have it?


NBC is contemplating a new TV series titled "Airline Tragedies."

They are putting the pilot together right now.


I've just finished reading a brilliant book titled, "How to avoid getting ripped off".

Best $600 I have ever spent!


A door to door salesman knocked on a door and a woman answered.

Salesman - Hello. Would you like to buy a book titled '500 Excuses to Tell Your Wife After Staying Out Late'?

Woman - Why on earth would I buy a book like that?

Salesman - Because I sold a copy to your husband earlier today.


I love to go to bookstores and ask "Hello, I'm looking for a book titled: How to deal with rejection without killing"

... do you have it? ...


A joung Jew loved to read books

He loved to read so much that he read all of the books in the library in his town. So one day he went to a bookstore and asked if they had a book that he haven't read yet. An old Jew that worked there said yes and handed the boy a strange, covered in dust book titled "DEATH". He said to the boy:

"Here is the book that you've probably never heard of. I can sell it to you for $10 if you promise me to never, ever open it at the last page."

The boy agreed and bought the book. He read it and liked it very much, but, as promised, he didn't open it at the last page. One day he could bear it no longer and checked the last page. "Suggested Retail Price: $5".


I'm making a silent film set in the Middle East

It's titled A Kuwait Place


I was reading an article about top porn searches around the world

It's titled what has this world come to


Rick Astley's releasing a new song lamenting the 'Brexit' result...

It's titled:

Never Gonna Give EU Up


As a volunteer, I taught a seminar on how to write persuasive speeches at my local prison.

I titled the course: "Prose and Cons".


On the morning of her birthday....

On the morning of her birthday, a woman tells her husband, I just dreamed that you gave me a diamond necklace. What do you think it means?

Maybe you'll find out tonight, he said.

That evening, the man came home with a small package and gave it to his wife. She ripped off the wrapping paper and found a book titled The Meaning of Dreams.


I'm making a movie about a man who's been cheated on

Pissed off at his girlfriend, the man has one goal. He wants to have sex with her one last time, only this time it will be a hate-fuck. He pops a viagra and begins his angry thrusting. Immediately before orgasm he has a heart attack and passes away.

The movie shall be titled "Die Hard with a Vengeance"


After the title "The Fate of the Furious", I just need next 2 movies to be titled

Fast *nein* : The Fast and the *Furher*ious

Fast10 : your seatbelt


When I was in the library I saw a book titled how to solve 50% of your problems.

So i bought 2 books


A man walks into a t-shirt store...

There are 3 shirts on display.

The first has a picture of Richard Nixon with a white mustache. Below the picture is titled "Got Milk."

The second tee shirt has a picture of Ronald Reagan with a white mustache. It is entitled "Forgot Milk."

The third tee shirt has a picture of Monica Lewinsky with a white mustache. It is entitled "Not Milk."


I began writing a book titled "Coping with Premature Ejaculation"

I finished pretty quickly.


A guy tries to sell his first painting ever...

So he goes to an art dealer to show it to him.

"What is it titled?" - the dealer asks.

"Me at the bar, drinking."

"But all I see is two nude bodies. Who are they?"

"My neighbor and my wife, f\*cking"

"And where are you?"

"At the bar, drinking."


Did you know Kevin Spacey was a composer?

His most famous song is titled *Drunk Mistake* in A minor.


"Fake News, inevitably, will be the end of us all!"

- Napoleon Bonaparte after Buzzfeed posted an article titled "10 Shortest Dynasties (Literally)"


I wrote a research paper on tuberculosis titled TB

Instead of a grade next to the title he just added a D.

So I guess that means it's still to be decided....


I've just finished the script for a film I titled "American Schools"

Shooting starts soon.


Two blondes [NSFW]

One day two blondes walk into a perfume shop. The one blonde picks up a bottle of perfume that is titled "Viens Chez Moi."

The blonde asks the manager what it means, and the manager says it means, "Come to Me."

So the blonde smells the perfume and asks her friend, "Does this smell like come to you? Because it doesn't smell like come to me."


Paula Deen is set to release memoirs about life with Type 2 diabetes

It will be titled "Paula Deen - For Butter or Worse"


So, they recently discovered a recording of Michael Jackson covering Bob Marley

It was titled "One Glove"


I'm reading a book titled "The Indestructible Dog".

I just can't put it down.


The strangest thing happened to me on the train today.

Found a book titled How to increase your Memory Power left behind on a seat.

Now, that's irony!


How could the novelist remember his first experience of an orgasm?

He titled it 'A Sticky Note'.


Rachel Dolezal just announced she's writing an autobiography

it's titled "The Inward Woman"


After hours of working on every syllable of this masterpiece, I bring you a haiku I've titled "Truth in hindsight"

The sky is blue

The grass is green

Jetfuel can't melt steel beams


Arnold Schwarzenegger is actually a talented composer with a love for classical music!

His newest album is titled, "I'll Be Bach."


Saw the movie titled Constipation?

I bet you didn't because it isn't out yet.

/crappy joke , I know ;-)


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What are the most funny Titled jokes of all time ?

Did you ever wanted to stand out with a good sense of humour joking with someone about Titled? Well, here are the best Titled dad jokes to laugh out loud. Crazy funny puns and Titled pick up lines to share with friends.

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