The Best 81 Title Jokes

What I if told you

You read the title wrong

A cow joke

Our professor started our lecture on ketosis of dairy cows by telling us about an exciting new research project at our veterinary school's dairy facility. They are working with NASA to launch some cows into outer space to orbit the earth. The title of the project is The herd shot round the world.

so a dyslexic person walks into a bra..

The joke is really over at this point. Wasn't that clear from the title? Why did you click through?

Two blondes meet in college..

one asks the other: "What year are you in?" "Well...2012. you ?"

*Edit. The title could be a joke on its own.

Russian kids were writing an essay about their heroes....

..... The title was: "Who is your hero and why Stalin?"

Clever yo mama jokes

The title says it all.

Heres one:
Yo mama so fat that light bends around her.

I can't find a title for this joke, still here it is

"So, you say that your husband hanged himself?" asked the judge.
"Exactly", said the widow.
"Then, how can you explain the bumps and bruises all over his head?"
"Well, he used an elastic."

Charles Dickens had writer's block…

He had a contract due for a new novel, but he hadn't even thought of a title yet. He went into the local pub and asked the barman for a Martini.

"Olive, or twist?"

Eminem's "8 Mile" wasn't very well received in Canada

I guess the title "12.8748 Kilometer" just isn't as catchy.

You know what I hate about some of the jokes submitted to this sub?

You know what I hate about some of the jokes submitted to this sub?

When people repeat the title in the description.

The description is hilarious!

The title is deeply misinformed.

What's the title of Audi CEO?

Lord of the Rings.

A teacher is teaching.

Teacher: "Kids,what does the chicken give you?"
Student: "Meat!"
Teacher: "Very good! Now what does the pig give you?"
Student: "Bacon!"
Teacher: "Great! And what does the fat cow give you?"
Student: "Homework!"

(sorry for the TERRIBLE title)

A limbo champion walks into a bar

and loses his title.

Premature Ejokeulation

What do you call it when someone puts the punchline to a joke in the title?

Rick.

Rick is a total lover of Pixar movies. He will lend you any title except for one.

He is never gonna give you Up.

50 shades of grey would be a perfect title for a movie about a dog reading a map of the US.

People who put the punchline in the title

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple?

Today I had an allergic reaction to a peanut...

**This title contains content from FINE BROTHERS ENTERTAINMENT who has it blocked on copyright grounds.**

A farmer has 96 cows. When he rounds them up, he has 100.

Title

They recently announced the title for Fast and furious 10

Fast 10:your seatbelts

It all.

The title says it all.

If I Cuold Time Travel

I would fix the title.

George R R Martin, dead after reaching peak popularity

Just like one of his characters.

(If this trash of a post hit the front page, the title could really mess with some GoT fans, I'm just saying)

Dyslexic man walks into a bra

Whole joke in title! New era of convenience! In mother Russia, joke laughs at you!

***Bonus***, since you came in here anyway:

Doc, I can't stop singing the 'Green Green Grass of Home'. He said: 'That sounds like Tom Jones syndrome'. 'Is it common?'I asked. 'It's not unusual' he replied.

Misleading title

Bad punchline

What I hate most about this sub:

What I hate most about this sub:

-When people include the title in the first line.

After the title "The Fate of the Furious", I just need next 2 movies to be titled

Fast *nein* : The Fast and the *Furher*ious

Fast10 : your seatbelt

If Men are From Mars, Women are From Venus was written today...

The solar system would need more planets for the title.

What do you and Ronda Rousey have in common?

You will both be watching the next title fight from home.

Do you know what grinds my gears?

Do you know what grinds my gears? I have to read the aforementioned title twice for most jokes.

I got a job assisting a fledgling orchestra with their day to day activities and helping to organize upcoming shows...

My official title is Band Aide.

(I thought of this in the shower, so it's definitely not funny)

A feminazi rolls into a bar...

...? What are you doing here? The joke's in the title

What would be the title of the TV series covering 'The Last Supper'?

Breaking Bread.

Two guys were sitting in a bar, when one guy said to the other:

Two guys were sitting in a bar, when one guy said to the other: "Don't you hate it when they repeat the title in the post?"

The word queue does't have 4 silent letters...

They are just waiting their turn.

EDIT
oh haha didN't realise this got so many upvotes thanks guys :D is there a way to edit the title for the spelling error?

My son wanted me to buy him GTA

When I got to the store, I couldn't remember the title. So I told the guy "it's the game where the black guy drives cars round drunk, and shags loads of women"

He gave me a copy of tiger woods PGA golf

The United States Postal Service is, in the interest of gender neutrality, discontinuing the title of "Mailman"

and changing it to "Personman".

So they just announced the title to the tenth fast and furious movie..

Fast10: Your Seatbelts.

It bothers me more than it should when people put the first line of the joke in the title

It bothers me more than it should when people put the first line of the joke in the title then repeat it in the body of the post.

I've been training for months to achieve the world record title of 'Furthest Ejaculation'.

I can't believe how far I've come.

Nevermind, figured it out

Just wondering if anyone knows how to edit the thread title.

You know, garbage man as a job title is a little sexist and outdated.

We should call them garbage people instead.

After my dad died, we found an old book hidden away in his study.

It was bound in some sort of leather, and emblazoned with the title TO SUMMON THE DREADED ANCIENT ONE .
When we opened it, all it contained was gran's phone number.

A football team loses its star player Dante Dicks due to an injury...

The next day, the paper reads "Team will play without Dicks."

Outraged, the team manager demands that the newspaper change the title and resubmit their article.

The next day, the headline reads "Team to play with Dicks out."

I just got told I was the Worlds Most Pessimistic Person

I doubt I'll manage to win that title.

Apparently not.

Does anyone know how to avoid clicking jokes that have been ruined by putting the punchline in the title?

I read on a newspaper about video games...

I was reading a newspaper and i saw an interesting title about video games: You should not spend more than 5 hours a week playing video games it said.

At first i thought it meant 5 hours a day but then i realized that i am wrong and it is really saying 5 hours a week.

I decided to make some new changes in my life, so i decided not to read newspaper again.

My girlfriend said choose her or weed

Too high to edit the title but it should say ex girlfriend

Describe your sex life with a movie title

Ready Player One

Some people are suggesting that Bill Cosby should have his honourary doctorate taken away.

But the man successfully anesthetized over 50 women, countless times. If anything he has done more to earn the title doctor" than ever before.

My son finally landed a position as a software engineer. He proudly told me that his new job title will be Java Developer.

I didn't have the heart to tell him that means he'll be making the coffee.

DNA editing was invented by Gene Hackman

Does it work if the whole joke is in the title?

If pornhub has taught me anything...

It's how to have a good father-daughter relationship

*Remade post cause spelling error in title was killing me*

The Fast and the Furious 10 title should be dedicated to Paul Walker

Fast 10: Your Seatbelts

Describe your sex life using a movie title

Me : Gone in 60 Seconds

So I read J. K Rowlings announcments.

I finally understand how dumbledore got The title of headmaster.

Just lost my brother today please make me laugh

Title says it all. My brother passed away this morning. Please make me laugh

Otherwise

You may think this joke sucks,

But the title says otherwise.

If someone was writing a book about tsunamis...

If someone was writing a book about tsunamis and they suddenly got a rush of ideas on what to call it, would that be considered a title wave?

Because it ruins the joke.

Why should you never put a punchline in the title?

John Cena

Guys, I think I figured out how to post something without a title

Otherwise

You might think this post sucks.
But the title says otherwise

I don't know why everybody is mad at Cyberpunk2077

The release date has always been in the title....

I'm giving up drinking till christmas

Bad punctuation, can't edit title

I'm giving up. Drinking till Christmas.

I visited the National Air and Space Museum.

I believe the title is misleading because it's actually full of stuff.

Did you hear about the librarian that was killed in an earthquake?

She was crushed by a title wave.

What I if told you

What if I told you you read the title wrong

After having his title stripped and funds cut off by the Royal Family, Harry has taken up painting to supplement his income.

He's the Artist formerly known as Prince.

I had no freaking idea!

I visited a local news website this morning and saw a picture of a good friend of mine on the front page with a title above saying, "A 34-year-old mechanic arrested for dealing drugs". I really thought I knew the guy, but I guess I was wrong. I mean, I've been a loyal customer of his for almost 7 years, and I had no idea that he was a mechanic!

"An interesting title" doesn't sparks interest

Two men are walking down the street when they happen upon a dog licking his balls, The first man says " Boy, I wish I could do that" The second guy says" I tried once and he bit me".

I'm writing a book about words I don't know

I haven't come up with a title yet.

idk what to put the title as

A man buys a lie detector robot that slaps people who lie.........

The man decided to try it out at dinner.

Dad: Son, where were you during school hours?

Son: At school

*The robot slaps the son*

Son: OK! I was at my friend's house watching a DVD

Dad: Which one?

Son: Kung Fu Panda

*The robot slaps the son again.*

Son: Ok! It was an erotic movie.

Dad: What!? When I was your age I didn't even know what an erotic movie was.

*The robot slaps the dad.*

Mom: HAHAHAHA. He is your son after all!

*The robot slaps the mom.*

A self-help book sold 3000 copies on the day of its release.

A self-help book sold 3000 copies on the day of its release because of a typo error.

The title read 'How to change your wife'.

Dear sir, On behalf of Channel Four may I thank you for your application submitted on behalf of your wife for our new reality show.

Also the charming photograph you enclosed. Whilst agreeing that she could make a worthy contribution to the program if selected, I would point out that the correct title of the series is actually "Fact Hunt". Kind regards Channel Four.

You child is playing with wires and is getting electrocuted, what can you do?

Ground him until he can conduct himself properly.

​

First word in title should be "your"

How come we call walkie-talkies "walkie talkies", but we don't call vacuums "pushie suckies"?

Because that title is reserved for wheelchair bound hookers.

The Queen has given Andrew a new title...

The Nobody Formerly Known as Prince.

My 9 year old came up with this: what do you call a tsunami of books?

A title wave.

I've heard the only 15 letter word that can be spelled without repeating a letter is uncopyrightable.

Which is a shame, because I was hoping to use it as a book title.