Titanic Jokes
143 titanic jokes and hilarious titanic puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about titanic that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Looking for a laugh? Check out our collection of the best Titanic jokes. From clever one-liners to hilarious puns, we've got you covered.
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Funniest Titanic Short Jokes
Short titanic jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The titanic humour may include short iceberg jokes also.
- My grandfather warned people that the Titanic would sink No one listened, but he kept on warning them nonetheless until they got sick of him and kicked him out the movie theatre
- The movie Titanic turns 25 later this year. In related news, Leonardo DiCaprio said he is no longer interested in seeing it.
- Does anyone know what the movies Titanic and The Sixth Sense have in common? Icy dead people
- What's the difference between the Titanic and my ex? The titanic only went down on 1,000 people
- What's the difference between the Titanic and Kim Kardashian? The number of people who rode the Titanic is known.
- A man is standing on the bow of the Titanic as it is sinking, holding a glass of whiskey. He says: "I asked for ice, but this is ridiculous"
- How ungrateful people are My grandfather tried to warn everyone that the Titanic was going to sink. Besides not believing in him, they also expelled him from the movie theater!
- Did you know Avatar is a sequel to Titanic? It picks up where Titanic left off, in the sense that half the cast is blue and dying.
Obligatory - A company made toy Titanics, but they weren't meant to be used in bathtubs. They were made for the sink.
- Now I know it's the 100 Aniversary of the Titanic and all... But aren't the Italians going a little far with their tribute
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Titanic One Liners
Which titanic one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with titanic? I can suggest the ones about jack and titanic jack.
- What's a horrible icebreaker? The titanic
- I downloaded all the music to the movie Titanic. It's syncing now.
- To think the unthinkable The thtory of the titanic.
- What does an iPhone 7 and The Titanic have in common? The end has no Jack.
- I don't always make Titanic jokes But when I do, I use them to break the ice
- What do you get when you cross the Atlantic with The Titanic? About half way..
- Imagine the Titanic with a lisp It's unthinkable
- Maybe the Titanic really was a ship of dreams... and its dream was to be a submarine.
- TITANIC Sorry that was a terrible ice breaker
- Did you know, after all these years the pools on the Titanic are still full.
- Not everything on the Titanic was a failure The pool is still full to this day.
- What's not a good ice breaker? Titanic.
- What do you get if you send an anime fan to one of Saturn's moons? Otaku on Titan
- I tried uploading a picture of the Titanic to OneDrive ... But it just kept syncing.
- Why should one not talk about Titanic with a stranger? Because it can't break the ice
Titanic Sinking Jokes
Here is a list of funny titanic sinking jokes and even better titanic sinking puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- The titanic was built to last...... let that sink in.
- The Titanic disaster happened 106 years ago today... Just let that sink in
- Historians have proved that people with every zodiac sign survived the sinking of the Titanic... Except Leo
- The Titanic weighed about 52 tons... I'm gonna let that sink in
- If your body was the size of the Atlantic ocean, your red blood cells would be the size of the Titanic Let that sink in
- TIL the Titanic was scheduled to have an evacuation drill the same day it sank but was canceled by the captain. Now let that sink in.
- What was the very last thing the dedicated German therapist told his patients on the Titanic? "Sink Positively!"
- What did the captain if the Titanic do when he found out the ship hit an iceberg? He let it sink in.
- Why did the titanic sink? It's safety only scratched the tip of the iceberg
- Germans consider the Titanic a joke. Which is understandable, if you sink about it.
Titanic Iceberg Jokes
Here is a list of funny titanic iceberg jokes and even better titanic iceberg puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- Did you hear about the Cop who arrested an innocent Iceberg because he thought it looked like the one that sunk the Titanic? He was fired for Glacial Profiling.
- What did the iceberg say to the Titanic? Cmon.. Just the tip??
- How big was the iceberg that sank the Titanic? Cap size
- A lot more happened on board the Titanic than you might think. The movie just touched on the tip of the iceberg.
- The Captain of the Titanic heard a massive crunch. But that was just the tip of the iceberg.
- Did you know in 1998 Titanic overtook Jurassic Park to become the highest grossing film of all time? I guess the Titanic can't survive an iceberg but it can beat a Spielberg.
- When Titanic came out, I went to the premiere wearing a iceberg costume Needless to say, it was a smash hit.
- Why'd the Titanic stop putting out on the first date? The iceberg had said 'just the tip'
- I had a phobia of icebergs, so my psychiatrist said to try taking my phobia head on. As Captain of the Titanic, there might've been some misinterpretation going on there...
- An iceberg caused the Titanic to sink.. Lettuce have a moment of silence.
Titanic Movie Jokes
Here is a list of funny titanic movie jokes and even better titanic movie puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- An amarican and a canadian wants to watch a movie together American: Lets watch Titanic
Canadian: What's that about?
American: Yes, it was. A big one that sank! - Why doesn't Leonardo DiCaprio like jokes about the movie "Titanic"? They're all more than 25 years old.
- When I first meet someone I always want to talk about that movie with Kate Winslet and Leonardo DiCaprio... but the Titanic is a terrible ice breaker.
- What's a movie whose title got deeper the longer you watched? The Titanic.
- An American and a Canadian decide to watch a movie American: Hey, want to watch Titanic?
Canadian: What's that about?
American: Yeah, one that sank.
- Which movie badly needs a sequel? Titanic
- Titanic was such a beautiful movie, it always gets me. Makes me wanna go on a cruise like that one day.
- My granddad warned people that the titanic would sink He kept talking about it until everyone got sick of hearing it, at which point they kicked him out of the movie theatre.
- The Rock. Dwayne Johnson would never have been part of the Titanic movie. He would have sunk in the first scene.
- Explain a movie in 1 sentence Example : Titanic - an entire ship does the ice bucket challenge
Titanic Jack Jokes
Here is a list of funny titanic jack jokes and even better titanic jack puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- What do Apple and Titanic have in common? They both killed Jack.
- When the titanic crashed, what were they floating on? An iPhone 7, there was no Jack.
- What do the final scene of titanic and the iPhone 7 have in common? They both could've fit the jack
- Why would Rose from Titanic make a terrible girlfriend? She won't let you go Jack.
- I call my ex-girlfriend Titanic Jack Because she's as cold as ice
- In titanic Jack could of lived..... But Rose just like taking more wood than she should
Titanic Icebreaker Jokes
Here is a list of funny titanic icebreaker jokes and even better titanic icebreaker puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- Why are Titanic themed parties so awkward? They lack good icebreakers!
- if you don't have any conversation starters try the Titanic wait nvm it's not a good icebreaker
- The Titanic The Titanic was God's way of talking to us.
Pity, it was such a bad ice-breaker. - Best icebreaker inside Me: Titanic
Her: What?
Me: Just thourgt it would be a good icebreaker
- Daniel Arestin

Giggle-Inducing Titanic Jokes for Joyful Times with Friends
What funny jokes about titanic you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean unthinkable jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make titanic pranks.
What does the titanic and the canucks have in common?
They both fail big time when they hit the ice..
I heard the titanic got a new job...
She sells sea shells down by the sea floor.
I hear it's a pretty high pressure job.
I was going to tell you guys more jokes about the Titanic passengers
but I think they've gone overboard
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Clinton on the Titanic
Reagan, Nixon and Clinton are on the Titanic.
The ship hits the iceberg and sinks slowly.
Everybody starts screaming, panicking, etc.
Reagan shouts: "Women and children first."
Nixon goes: "Screw the women!"
Clinton replies: "Do you think we have time!?"
I heard the Toronto Maple Leafs now have the milk board as their sponsor.
Now they only have to put in 2% of the effort.
Whenever I meet someone for the first time, I avoid telling Titanic jokes because
they're terrible at breaking the ice.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A Korean and a Jew
Jew: Hey... weren't you people responsible for Pearl Harbor?
Korean: Uh... that was the Japanese. I'm Korean.
Jew: Pffft, Japanese, Chinese, Korean. What's the difference?
Korean: Well wait, weren't you people responsible for sinking the Titanic?
Jew: Uh... that was an iceberg.
Korean: Pffft, Rosenberg, Goldberg, iceberg... What's the difference?
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Titanic sank 103 years ago...
...making it the only thing your mom didn't go down on! Hi-YO!
The Titanic was recently visited by a diving crew with a robot submarine. What they found out was completely amazing.
Even after 100 years of being sunk, all the pools are still full.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A Jewish guy walks into a bar. The Chinese bartender asks him his name...
"I'm Max Goldberg", he says, "what's yours?"
"I'm Wei Zhang, it's nice to meet you."
Mr. Goldberg says, "I'll never forgive you people for b**... Pearl Harbor."
"I'm Chinese. That was the Japanese."
"Chinese, Japanese, all the same to me."
Mr. Zhang says, "I'll never forgive you people for sinking the Titanic."
"I'm Jewish, that was an iceberg."
"Goldberg, iceberg, all the same to me."
Earlier today I had a Titanic thought.
It was *unthinkable*.
They call my sister the Titanic
because she once went down on a bunch of Irish peasants
How many people died on the Titanic?
A boatload.
Titanic be like
"I nominate all passengers for the ice bucket challenge!"
What kind of metal was the Titanic made out of?
Zinc
What do the Hindenberg, the Titanic and Hillary Clinton have in common?
Going down on any of them would be horrifying.
Right before colliding with an iceberg...
The captain of the Titanic got ready to make an announcement:
"Good evening ladies and gentlemen. Fun fact, this ship weighs about 52 thousand kilograms. I'm gonna let that sink in..."
I'm kinda like Titanic when it comes to meeting people
Not that great at breaking the ice
TIL some parts of the Titanic are still functional to this day!
The pools are still full!
I'll ride you like the Titanic
End prematurely and sea men going everywhere
My grandfather predicted that the Titanic would sink.
He tried to warn everyone that it was going to sink, but the fools wouldn't listen. Being the good man that he was, he kept on urging people to heed his warning, right up until he was escorted out of the movie theatre by security.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I hate to sound like a conspiracy theorist here, but are we truly to believe that the Titanic sunk after being hit by an iceberg?! Do they think we're s**... fools!?
I've been throwing lettuce at the window for hours now and it hasn't even scratched, let alone put a hole in it.
Have you heard of the new titanic app?
I was excited to use it, but as soon as I plugged it into my computer it started syncing!
- My professor. No one laughed.
As the Titanic sank, the musicians remained on deck and continued to play music as the ship went down.
The captain had said "aBandOn Ship", so they really had no choice.
I went into the local library and asked if they had any books on the Titanic. "Oh yes, quite a few." the librarian said.
"Sorry to hear that!" I said laughing. "They'll all be ruined by now!"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What does Titanic disaster and your moms dietary plan have in common?
Lots of drowned s**....
the world's best cloud storage service was released today, called Titanic.
It's always synching
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
[Titanic, 1912]
**Captain:** what kind of lettuce do you want on your sandwich?
**First mate:** ICEBERG!
**Captain:** lol... no need to shout, Dave.
Chinese guy and a Jewish guy sitting at a bar.
Suddenly Jewish guy whacks Chinese guy on the head. What was that for? says the Chinese guy. Pearl Harbor says the Jewish guy. Pearl Harbor? That was the Japanese. Jewish guy says Japanese Chinese what's the difference?
Time goes by. Suddenly the Chinese guy whacks the Jewish guy on the head. What's that for? Sinking of the Titanic. Titanic was sunk by an iceberg. Iceberg Goldberg what's the difference?
Priest, Doctor and Lawyer died
A priest, doctor and lawyer died. They met Saint Peter at the gate, who would only let them into heaven if they could answer one simple question.
Peter asked the priest, "what was the unsinkable ship that struck an iceberg?" The priest replied, "The Titanic". And the gates opened up.
Peter asked the doctor, "how many people died on the Titanic?" Doctor replied, "1,503". And the gates opened up.
"Name them" said Saint Peter to the lawyer.
A Jewish man and a Chinese man are in a bar. Suddenly, the Jewish man punches the Chinese man in the face.
"Ow! Why did you do that?" asks he Chinese man.
"That's for Pearl Harbor," says the Jewish man.
"But the Japanese bombed Pearl Harbor. I'm Chinese!" says the Chinese man.
"Chinese, Japanese, what's the difference?" asks the Jewish man.
So the Chinese man punches the Jewish man.
"Ow! What's that for?" asks the Jewish man.
"It's for the Titanic," says the Chinese man.
"What? That was an iceberg that brought down the Titanic!" says the Jewish man.
"Iceberg, Goldberg, what's the difference?"
The true reason that the Titanic sank...
The combined weight of all the time travelers that suddenly appeared onboard.
Why is Texas like the Titanic
They both thought they were amazing until a tiny bit of frozen water broken them in half
I once read a book on how the Titanic was built
It was riveting
I renamed my iPod The Titanic
When I plug it in, it says "The Titanic is syncing".
I just found out that my great grandfather was on the Titanic.
And as far as I know, he still is !!
A Chinese man and a Jewish man are sitting next to each other on a plane.
Suddenly, the Jewish man slaps the Chinese man across the face.
"What was that for?" asks the Chinese man..
"For Pearl Harbor" says the Jewish man.
"That was Japanese. I'm Chinese," the Chinese man says.
"Chinese, Japanese" what's the difference?
Few minutes later, the Chinese man slaps the Jewish man.
"What was that for?" asks the Jew.
"It's for the Titanic."
"The Titanic? That was an iceberg..."
"Iceberg, Goldberg, what's the difference?" says the Chinese man.
What does Travis Scott and the band on the titanic have in common?
Even when people are dying the show must go on
What is the difference between CNN and the Titanic?
The Titanic still had all it's anchors when it sank...
Why did Titanic leave its date?
He couldn't brake the ice
Mayonnaise
In 1912, the Titanic sank and everyone still talks about it to this day.
But only weeks after the incident, another ship fell victim to the harsh ocean. This was a large cargo ship that contains various products that were supposed to be delivered to Mexico, among them were sugar, coffee beans, but the bulk of the shipment comprised of mayonnaise. You see, Mexicans love mayonnaise. That's why when it happened on a sad day in May 5th, the whole mexican wept for the fallen sailors and the delicious products they were supposed to enjoy.
Since then, the day of mourning came to be: >!Sinko De Mayo!<
The band on Titanic looked at each other and said..
We're syncing!
What do you call a giant who drowned in the sea
A titanic
Note: not sure if titan and giant are the same

