titanic Jokes

funny pick up lines and hilarious titanic puns

My grandfather warned people that the Titanic would sink

No one listened, but he kept on warning them nonetheless until they got sick of him and kicked him out the movie theatre

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A jew and a Chinese man are in an argument...

The jew says, "I hate your people for what you did at pearl harbour". The Chinese man says, what do you mean? That was the Japanese!". The jew replies, "Chinese, Japanese, Taiwanese, you're all the same. So the Chinese man says, "Well I hate your people for sinking the titanic". The jew says, "That's ridiculous; an iceberg sunk the titanic!". The Chinese man responds, "Iceberg, Goldberg, Silverberg, you're all the same".

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What's a horrible icebreaker?

The titanic

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What's the difference between the Titanic and my ex?

The titanic only went down on 1,000 people

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My grandfather predicted that the Titanic would sink.

He tried to warn everyone that it was going to sink, but the fools wouldn't listen. Being the good man that he was, he kept on urging people to heed his warning, right up until he was escorted out of the movie theatre by security.

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What does titanic and the sixth sense have in common?

Icy dead people

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To think the unthinkable

The thtory of the titanic.

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What connects The Sixth Sense and Titanic?

Icy dead people.

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What does an iPhone 7 and The Titanic have in common?

The end has no Jack.

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What's the difference between the Titanic and Kim Kardashian?

The number of people who rode the Titanic is known.

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A Korean and a Jew

Jew: Hey... weren't you people responsible for Pearl Harbor?

Korean: Uh... that was the Japanese. I'm Korean.

Jew: Pffft, Japanese, Chinese, Korean. What's the difference?

Korean: Well wait, weren't you people responsible for sinking the Titanic?

Jew: Uh... that was an iceberg.

Korean: Pffft, Rosenberg, Goldberg, iceberg... What's the difference?

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What's the similarity between 6th Sense and Titanic?

Icy dead people.

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What do you get when you cross the Atlantic with The Titanic?

About half way..

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Titanic sank 103 years ago...

...making it the only thing your mom didn't go down on! Hi-YO!

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What do you get when you cross the Atlantic with the Titanic?

About halfway

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A Jewish man and a Chinese man strike up a conversation

Before long they're arguing.

Jewish man: "You know what? I hate you."

Chinese man: "Why?"

Jewish man: "Pearl Harbor!"

Chinese man: "That was the Japanese! I'm Chinese!"

Jewish man: "Japanese, Chinese what's the difference?"

Chinese man: "Well, you know what? I hate you."

Jewish man: "Why?"

Chinese man: "The Titanic!"

Jewish man: "An iceberg sunk the Titanic!"

Chinese man: "Iceberg, Goldberg, what's the difference?"

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A man is standing on the bow of the Titanic as it is sinking, holding a glass of whiskey.

He says: "I asked for ice, but this is ridiculous"

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My grandfather saw the Titanic and he warned everyone that it would sink, but no one listened

He told people a few more times and then he was kicked out of the cinema

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My grandpa knew the Titanic was going to sink. He said it loudly countless times...

Then he got kicked out of the theater.

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Imagine the Titanic with a Lisp

It's unthinkable

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What do the iPhone 7 and the Titanic have in common?

There's no room for jack, on both of them

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Maybe the Titanic really was a ship of dreams...

and its dream was to be a submarine.

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Did you know Avatar is a sequel to Titanic?

It picks up where Titanic left off, in the sense that half the cast is blue and dying.

Obligatory

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TITANIC

Sorry that was a terrible ice breaker

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The Sixth Sense and Titanic are the same movie.

Icy dead people.

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What do the Titanic and The Toronto Maple Leafs have in common...

They both look great until they hit the ice.

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Now I know it's the 100 Aniversary of the Titanic and all...

But aren't the Italians going a little far with their tribute

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What do the Hindenberg, the Titanic and Hillary Clinton have in common?

Going down on any of them would be horrifying.

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Sinking Ship...

A pediatrician, a lawyer, and a priest were on the Titanic while it was going down. The pediatrician said "Save the children!" The lawyer said "Fuck the children!" To which the priest replied "Do we have time?"

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I went into the local library and asked if they had any books on the Titanic. "Oh yes, quite a few." the librarian said.

"Sorry to hear that!" I said laughing. "They'll all be ruined by now!"

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Did you know, after all these years

the pools on the Titanic are still full.

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So I finally got a tinder match yesterday...

And immediately I started of by asking "So have you heard of the titanic?"

She immediately got pissed and blocked me. I guess in retrospect, I shouldn't have started off with that line.

Its not a very good icebreaker.


P.s - I just thought of this while taking a shit on the porcelain throne. Can someone tell me if this is an original joke? :D

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My great grandfather got to see the Titanic

He told everyone it would sink, no one believed him. He said it again, they shut him up. For the last time, he warned everyone that it would sink. They have had enough and he got kicked out of the movie theatre.

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The Titanic was recently visited by a diving crew with a robot submarine. What they found out was completely amazing.

Even after 100 years of being sunk, all the pools are still full.

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Not everything on the Titanic was a failure

The pool is still full to this day.

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What are the most funny Titanic jokes of all time ?

Did you ever wanted to stand out with a good sense of humour joking with someone about Titanic? Well, here are the best Titanic dad jokes to laugh out loud. Crazy funny puns and Titanic pick up lines to share with friends.

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