Titanic Jokes
155 titanic jokes and hilarious titanic puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about titanic that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Looking for a laugh? Check out our collection of the best Titanic jokes. From clever one-liners to hilarious puns, we've got you covered.
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Funniest Titanic Short Jokes
Short titanic jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The titanic humour may include short sinking jokes also.
- My grandfather warned people that the Titanic would sink No one listened, but he kept on warning them nonetheless until they got sick of him and kicked him out the movie theatre
- My grandpa warned people the Titanic would sink and no one listened. He kept warning them until they got sick of it and kicked him out of the theater.
- The movie Titanic turns 25 later this year. In related news, Leonardo DiCaprio said he is no longer interested in seeing it.
- Does anyone know what the movies Titanic and The Sixth Sense have in common? Icy dead people
- My grandpa tried to warn everyone The Titanic was gonna sink. When everyone just ignored him, he yelled at them three more times, eventually they got irritated and kicked him out of the theater.
- I just realized Titanic and the Sixth Sense are basically the same movie. Icy dead People!
- What's the difference between the Titanic and my ex? The titanic only went down on 1,000 people
- What's the difference between the Titanic and Kim Kardashian? The number of people who rode the Titanic is known.
- Titanic sank 103 years ago... ...making it the only thing your mom didn't go down on! Hi-YO!
- A man is standing on the bow of the Titanic as it is sinking, holding a glass of whiskey. He says: "I asked for ice, but this is ridiculous"
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Titanic One Liners
Which titanic one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with titanic? I can suggest the ones about iceberg and jack.
- What's a horrible icebreaker? The titanic
- I downloaded all the music to the movie Titanic. It's syncing now.
- What does titanic and the sixth sense have in common? Icy dead people
- To think the unthinkable The thtory of the titanic.
- What connects The Sixth Sense and Titanic? Icy dead people.
- What does an iPhone 7 and The Titanic have in common? The end has no Jack.
- What's the similarity between 6th Sense and Titanic? Icy dead people.
- I don't always make Titanic jokes But when I do, I use them to break the ice
- What do you get when you cross the Atlantic with The Titanic? About half way..
- Imagine the Titanic with a lisp It's unthinkable
- Now that the movie Titanic is 25 years old Leo has completely lost interest in it.
- Maybe the Titanic really was a ship of dreams... and its dream was to be a submarine.
- What do the movies The Sixth Sense and Titanic have in common? Icy dead people
- TITANIC Sorry that was a terrible ice breaker
- The Sixth Sense and Titanic are the same movie. Icy dead people.
Titanic Sinking Jokes
Here is a list of funny titanic sinking jokes and even better titanic sinking puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- How ungrateful people are My grandfather tried to warn everyone that the Titanic was going to sink. Besides not believing in him, they also expelled him from the movie theater!
- My grandfather saw the Titanic and he warned everyone that it would sink, but no one listened He told people a few more times and then he was kicked out of the cinema
- My grandpa knew the Titanic was going to sink. He said it loudly countless times... Then he got kicked out of the theater.
- My grandpa kept telling people that the Titanic was going to sink. They ignored him. Eventually, they needed to throw him out the cinema.
- A company made toy Titanics, but they weren't meant to be used in bathtubs. They were made for the sink.
- my grandfather knew the Titanic was going to sink and kept yelling for everyone to get off he got kicked out of the theater that day
- The titanic was built to last...... let that sink in.
- The Titanic disaster happened 106 years ago today... Just let that sink in
- My great-grandfather knew that Titanic would sink and tried to alert people 3 times The third time, he was expelled from the movie theater.
- Historians have proved that people with every zodiac sign survived the sinking of the Titanic... Except Leo
Titanic Iceberg Jokes
Here is a list of funny titanic iceberg jokes and even better titanic iceberg puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- Did you hear about the Cop who arrested an innocent Iceberg because he thought it looked like the one that sunk the Titanic? He was fired for Glacial Profiling.
- What did the iceberg say to the Titanic? Cmon.. Just the tip??
- How big was the iceberg that sank the Titanic? Cap size
- What did the captain if the Titanic do when he found out the ship hit an iceberg? He let it sink in.
- A lot more happened on board the Titanic than you might think. The movie just touched on the tip of the iceberg.
- Why did the titanic sink? It's safety only scratched the tip of the iceberg
- The Captain of the Titanic heard a massive crunch. But that was just the tip of the iceberg.
- Do you want to play Titanic? You can be the iceberg and I'll go down on you.
- Did you know in 1998 Titanic overtook Jurassic Park to become the highest grossing film of all time? I guess the Titanic can't survive an iceberg but it can beat a Spielberg.
- When Titanic came out, I went to the premiere wearing a iceberg costume Needless to say, it was a smash hit.
Titanic Movie Jokes
Here is a list of funny titanic movie jokes and even better titanic movie puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- An amarican and a canadian wants to watch a movie together American: Lets watch Titanic
Canadian: What's that about?
American: Yes, it was. A big one that sank! - Canadian and a American watching a movie Canadian: Lets watch a movie.
American: Have you seen Titanic?
Canadian: What's that about?
American: Yes, it was. A big one that sank. - Why doesn't Leonardo DiCaprio like jokes about the movie "Titanic"? They're all more than 25 years old.
- (This one's a tad dark… you've been warned) What do the movies The 6th Sense and Titanic have in common? Icy dead people
- My grandfather warned the people that the Titanic would sink....... No one listened, but he kept on warning them nonetheless until they got sick of him and kicked him out the movie theatre.
- When I first meet someone I always want to talk about that movie with Kate Winslet and Leonardo DiCaprio... but the Titanic is a terrible ice breaker.
- What's a movie whose title got deeper the longer you watched? The Titanic.
- My great grandfather saw The Titanic and he warned everyone it would sink, but they all ignored him Time and time again he warned them until they threw him out of the movie theater
- My grandfather looked at the Titanic and knew that it would sink. He kept on saying it but no one listened to him. He kept on repeating it till he got kicked out of the movie theater.
- An American and a Canadian decide to watch a movie American: Hey, want to watch Titanic?
Canadian: What's that about?
American: Yeah, one that sank.
Credit to u/ for the joke
Titanic Jack Jokes
Here is a list of funny titanic jack jokes and even better titanic jack puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- What do the iPhone 7 and the Titanic have in common? There's no room for jack, on both of them
- What do Apple and Titanic have in common? They both killed Jack.
- When the titanic crashed, what were they floating on? An iPhone 7, there was no Jack.
- What do the final scene of titanic and the iPhone 7 have in common? They both could've fit the jack
- Why would Rose from Titanic make a terrible girlfriend? She won't let you go Jack.
- What does the Rose iphone 7 and the Titanic have in common? They both lost Jack.
- I call my ex-girlfriend Titanic Jack Because she's as cold as ice
- The iPhone 7 is like the ending of the Titanic... There's no more Jack.
- In titanic Jack could of lived..... But Rose just like taking more wood than she should
- My girlfriend's friend told us that she told her child that the Titanic sank because Jack and Rose had s**... before marriage. I told her that loose lips sink ships
Titanic Icebreaker Jokes
Here is a list of funny titanic icebreaker jokes and even better titanic icebreaker puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- Why are Titanic themed parties so awkward? They lack good icebreakers!
- Want to hear a bad icebreaker? The Titanic.
- "Titanic." "What??"
"Sorry, that wasn't a very good icebreaker." - Hey, have you heard of the titanic? Sorry, I couldn't think of a good icebreaker.
- if you don't have any conversation starters try the Titanic wait nvm it's not a good icebreaker
- What's a bad icebreaker? The Titanic.
- The Titanic The Titanic was God's way of talking to us.
Pity, it was such a bad ice-breaker. - Titanic I'm sorry, that was a bad icebreaker.
- Why should you never start a conversation about the Titanic? Because that cruise ship is no ice-breaker.
- Best icebreaker inside Me: Titanic
Her: What?
Me: Just thourgt it would be a good icebreaker
- Daniel Arestin
Giggle-Inducing Titanic Jokes for Joyful Times with Friends
What funny jokes about titanic you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean rose jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make titanic pranks.
Now I know it's the 100 Aniversary of the Titanic and all...
But aren't the Italians going a little far with their tribute
I heard the titanic got a new job...
She sells sea shells down by the sea floor.
I hear it's a pretty high pressure job.
I was going to tell you guys more jokes about the Titanic passengers
but I think they've gone overboard
Clinton on the Titanic
Reagan, Nixon and Clinton are on the Titanic.
The ship hits the iceberg and sinks slowly.
Everybody starts screaming, panicking, etc.
Reagan shouts: "Women and children first."
Nixon goes: "Screw the women!"
Clinton replies: "Do you think we have time!?"
I heard the Toronto Maple Leafs now have the milk board as their sponsor.
Now they only have to put in 2% of the effort.
Whenever I meet someone for the first time, I avoid telling Titanic jokes because
they're terrible at breaking the ice.
A Korean and a Jew
Jew: Hey... weren't you people responsible for Pearl Harbor?
Korean: Uh... that was the Japanese. I'm Korean.
Jew: Pffft, Japanese, Chinese, Korean. What's the difference?
Korean: Well wait, weren't you people responsible for sinking the Titanic?
Jew: Uh... that was an iceberg.
Korean: Pffft, Rosenberg, Goldberg, iceberg... What's the difference?
Did you know, after all these years
the pools on the Titanic are still full.
Why should one not talk about Titanic with a stranger?
Because it can't break the ice
I just changed my iPhone's name to "Titanic"
I just changed my iPhone's name to "Titanic" and plugged it in.
It's syncing now.
The Titanic was recently visited by a diving crew with a robot submarine. What they found out was completely amazing.
Even after 100 years of being sunk, all the pools are still full.
A Jewish guy walks into a bar. The Chinese bartender asks him his name...
"I'm Max Goldberg", he says, "what's yours?"
"I'm Wei Zhang, it's nice to meet you."
Mr. Goldberg says, "I'll never forgive you people for b**... Pearl Harbor."
"I'm Chinese. That was the Japanese."
"Chinese, Japanese, all the same to me."
Mr. Zhang says, "I'll never forgive you people for sinking the Titanic."
"I'm Jewish, that was an iceberg."
"Goldberg, iceberg, all the same to me."
Did you know Avatar is a sequel to Titanic?
It picks up where Titanic left off, in the sense that half the cast is blue and dying.
Obligatory
How many people died on the Titanic?
A boatload.
Titanic be like
"I nominate all passengers for the ice bucket challenge!"
What do the Hindenberg, the Titanic and Hillary Clinton have in common?
Going down on any of them would be horrifying.
Did you know?
The swimming pools in the Titanic are still full
A jew and a Chinese man are in an argument...
The jew says, "I hate your people for what you did at pearl harbour". The Chinese man says, what do you mean? That was the Japanese!". The jew replies, "Chinese, Japanese, Taiwanese, you're all the same. So the Chinese man says, "Well I hate your people for sinking the titanic". The jew says, "That's ridiculous; an iceberg sunk the titanic!". The Chinese man responds, "Iceberg, Goldberg, Silverberg, you're all the same".
Right before colliding with an iceberg...
The captain of the Titanic got ready to make an announcement:
"Good evening ladies and gentlemen. Fun fact, this ship weighs about 52 thousand kilograms. I'm gonna let that sink in..."
What's not a good ice breaker?
Titanic.
I tried uploading a picture of the Titanic to OneDrive
... But it just kept syncing.
A Jewish man and a Chinese man strike up a conversation
Before long they're arguing.
Jewish man: "You know what? I hate you."
Chinese man: "Why?"
Jewish man: "Pearl Harbor!"
Chinese man: "That was the Japanese! I'm Chinese!"
Jewish man: "Japanese, Chinese what's the difference?"
Chinese man: "Well, you know what? I hate you."
Jewish man: "Why?"
Chinese man: "The Titanic!"
Jewish man: "An iceberg sunk the Titanic!"
Chinese man: "Iceberg, Goldberg, what's the difference?"
TIL the pool on the titanic is still filled with water to this day.
Oh wait...
My grandfather predicted that the Titanic would sink.
He tried to warn everyone that it was going to sink, but the fools wouldn't listen. Being the good man that he was, he kept on urging people to heed his warning, right up until he was escorted out of the movie theatre by security.
Did you know?
The pool on the Titanic is still filled with water.
I hate to sound like a conspiracy theorist here, but are we truly to believe that the Titanic sunk after being hit by an iceberg?! Do they think we're s**... fools!?
I've been throwing lettuce at the window for hours now and it hasn't even scratched, let alone put a hole in it.
I went into the local library and asked if they had any books on the Titanic. "Oh yes, quite a few." the librarian said.
"Sorry to hear that!" I said laughing. "They'll all be ruined by now!"
Not everything on the Titanic was a failure
The pool is still full to this day.
My great grandfather got to see the Titanic
He told everyone it would sink, no one believed him. He said it again, they shut him up. For the last time, he warned everyone that it would sink. They have had enough and he got kicked out of the movie theatre.
My grandfather knew before the titanic sank that it was going to happen.
He kept yelling and telling peope over and over but no one listened. They then threw him out of the theater, he's not allowed back.
the world's best cloud storage service was released today, called Titanic.
It's always synching
What do you get if you cross Titanic with Sixth Sense?
Icy dead people
Chinese guy and a Jewish guy sitting at a bar.
Suddenly Jewish guy whacks Chinese guy on the head. What was that for? says the Chinese guy. Pearl Harbor says the Jewish guy. Pearl Harbor? That was the Japanese. Jewish guy says Japanese Chinese what's the difference?
Time goes by. Suddenly the Chinese guy whacks the Jewish guy on the head. What's that for? Sinking of the Titanic. Titanic was sunk by an iceberg. Iceberg Goldberg what's the difference?
I renamed my iPhone The Titanic
So when I plug it in my computer it says The Titanic is syncing.
A Jewish man and a Chinese man are in a bar. Suddenly, the Jewish man punches the Chinese man in the face.
"Ow! Why did you do that?" asks he Chinese man.
"That's for Pearl Harbor," says the Jewish man.
"But the Japanese bombed Pearl Harbor. I'm Chinese!" says the Chinese man.
"Chinese, Japanese, what's the difference?" asks the Jewish man.
So the Chinese man punches the Jewish man.
"Ow! What's that for?" asks the Jewish man.
"It's for the Titanic," says the Chinese man.
"What? That was an iceberg that brought down the Titanic!" says the Jewish man.
"Iceberg, Goldberg, what's the difference?"
Wanna hear a fun fact about the Titanic?
The pool is still full.
My grandad predicted that the Titanic would sink
He went to great pains to try and alert everyone. Sadly no one would listen. He told people in authority, middle-management and even the every-day punters who bought tickets. He was silenced from every corner in spite of all the evidence he put forward. Eventually he was forcibly removed from the cinema.
What do you get when you cross the ocean with the Titanic?
Half way.
I watched a documentary on how they built the hull of the Titanic last night....
It was riveting.
Why is Texas like the Titanic
They both thought they were amazing until a tiny bit of frozen water broken them in half
My Grandad knew that The Titanic was going to sink.
He told every man, woman and child that the ship was going to sink.
They hushed him up.
He shouted "The ship is going to hit an iceberg and sink"
Stiĺl they tried to silence him.
He shouted even louder, "THE TITANIC IS GOING TO HIT A ICEBERG AND SINK!"
That was it! He'd been warned, so they threw him out of the cinema.
I renamed my iPod The Titanic
When I plug it in, it says "The Titanic is syncing".
I just found out that my great grandfather was on the Titanic.
And as far as I know, he still is !!
A Chinese man and a Jewish man are sitting next to each other on a plane.
Suddenly, the Jewish man slaps the Chinese man across the face.
"What was that for?" asks the Chinese man..
"For Pearl Harbor" says the Jewish man.
"That was Japanese. I'm Chinese," the Chinese man says.
"Chinese, Japanese" what's the difference?
Few minutes later, the Chinese man slaps the Jewish man.
"What was that for?" asks the Jew.
"It's for the Titanic."
"The Titanic? That was an iceberg..."
"Iceberg, Goldberg, what's the difference?" says the Chinese man.
My Canadian friend asks me to recommend a move.
Me: "Have you seen Titanic?"
Him: "What's it about?"
Me: "Yeah, a really big one. And it sinks."