Titanic Iceberg Jokes
79 titanic iceberg jokes and hilarious titanic iceberg puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about titanic iceberg that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Funniest Titanic Iceberg Short Jokes
Short titanic iceberg jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The titanic iceberg humour may include short titanic sinking jokes also.
- Did you hear about the Cop who arrested an innocent Iceberg because he thought it looked like the one that sunk the Titanic? He was fired for Glacial Profiling.
- What did the captain if the Titanic do when he found out the ship hit an iceberg? He let it sink in.
- A lot more happened on board the Titanic than you might think. The movie just touched on the tip of the iceberg.
- The Captain of the Titanic heard a massive crunch. But that was just the tip of the iceberg.
- Did you know in 1998 Titanic overtook Jurassic Park to become the highest grossing film of all time? I guess the Titanic can't survive an iceberg but it can beat a Spielberg.
- When Titanic came out, I went to the premiere wearing a iceberg costume Needless to say, it was a smash hit.
- I had a phobia of icebergs, so my psychiatrist said to try taking my phobia head on. As Captain of the Titanic, there might've been some misinterpretation going on there...
- I watched the Titanic twice I was convinced they weren't dumb enough to hit the iceberg again
- The sinking of the Titanic was not an accident! Even the iceberg was fake! It was made by the build a berg group.
- Crew (Titanic) : We've been hit by an iceberg. The damages are irrecoverable. We've got no chance, sir. Captain Smith : Wait, let that sink in...
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Titanic Iceberg One Liners
Which titanic iceberg one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with titanic iceberg? I can suggest the ones about iceberg and hitting iceberg.
- What did the iceberg say to the Titanic? Cmon.. Just the tip??
- How big was the iceberg that sank the Titanic? Cap size
- Why did the titanic sink? It's safety only scratched the tip of the iceberg
- Do you want to play Titanic? You can be the iceberg and I'll go down on you.
- Why'd the Titanic stop putting out on the first date? The iceberg had said 'just the tip'
- An iceberg caused the Titanic to sink.. Lettuce have a moment of silence.
- I made a "Titanic style" salad It's mostly composed of iceberg lettuce
- What type of lettuce do they serve on the titanic? Iceberg
:D - WHY DID TITANIC SINK? because he had a crush on the iceberg but couldn't break the ice
- TIL a Jew killed the people aboard the Titanic It was an Iceberg
- I heard a Jew was responsible for the sinking of the Titanic Some guy named Iceberg
- What did Titanic say to the iceberg? I see! Thanks for the tip.
- What type of salad was made on the Titanic? Iceberg wedge salad
- "You know what just cracks me up? The Titanic" -The Iceberg, probably.
- Chuck Norris was the reason the Titanic sank.
The iceberg was just a cover-up.
Titanic Iceberg Funny Jokes And Hilarious Puns.
What funny jokes about titanic iceberg you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean titanic movie jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make titanic iceberg pranks.
My grandfather tried to warn them about the Titanic.
He screamed and shouted about the iceberg and how the ship was going to sink, but all they did was throw him out of the theater.
A Jewish man walks into a bar...
... and sits down on the only available stool next to a Chinese man. The Jew looks over and says, "Ugh, I hate the Chinese!" The Chinese man says,"Why!? What did we ever do to you?" The Jewish man says, "You guys bombed Pearl Harbor!" "That was the Japanese, you idiot!" "Chinese, Japanese, same thing." The Chinese man is furious and storms out of the bar.
The next day, the same Chinese guy goes to the same bar and sits down at the only stool next to the same Jewish man. The Chinese man looks over and says, "You know what? I hate Jewish people!" The Jew responds, "Why!? What did we ever do to you?" "You guys sunk the Titanic!" "That wasn't us! That was an iceberg!" The Chinese guy says, "Iceberg, Rosenberg, same thing!"
Pilot to co-pilot
The Air Canada plane leaves Pearson Airport under the control of a Jewish captain; his co-pilot is Chinese.
It's the first time they've flown together and an awkward silence between
the two seems to indicate a mutual dislike.
Once they reach cruising altitude, the Jewish captain activates the
auto-pilot, leans back in his seat, and mutters,
'I don't like Chinese..'
'No rike Chinese?' asks the co-pilot, 'why not?'
'You people bombed Pearl Harbor , that's why!'
'No, no', the co-pilot protests, 'Chinese not bomb Peahl Hahbah!
That Japanese, not Chinese.'
'Japanese, Chinese, Vietnamese....doesn't matter, you're all alike!'
There's a few minutes of silence.
'I no rike Jews!' the co-pilot suddenly announces.
'Oh yeah, why not?' asks the captain.
'Jews sink Titanic!' says the co-pilot.
'What? You're insane! Jews didn't sink the Titanic!' exclaims the captain,
'It was an iceberg!'
Iceberg, Goldberg, Greenberg, Rosenberg , ..no mattah...all f**... same.
Two old men on a bench
An old korean man and an old jewish man are sitting on a bench.
Suddenly the jewish elderly slaps the korean and says "that's for pearl harbour"
The korean replies "I've got nothing to do with that, it was the japanese, and I'm korean"
To which the jewish replies "well, japanese, chinese, korean, you're all the same to me."
Hearing that, the korean slaps the jewish, saying "that's for the titanic"
"I've got nothing to do with that, it was an iceberg"
"well, iceberg, rosenberg, all the same to me"
Homophonic names
A Jew & a Chinese man are traveling on a train together. After a while, the Jew stands up, and gives the Chinese guy a tremendous slap.
"What are you doing?" says the stricken Chinese.
"That's for Pearl-Harbour" says the Jew.
"But I am Chinese! The Japanese were responsible for that!" says the Chinese.
"Japanese, Chinese--all the same."
They resume their seats. A while passes.
Then the Chinese gets up, and kicks mightily the Jew.
"Hey! what's going on?"
"That's for the Titanic!" says the Chinese.
"But the Titanic was hit by an Iceberg!"
"Iceberg, Weissberg--All the same."
A Jewish man and an Chinese man spark up a conversation....
Before long they're arguing...
Jewish man: "You know what? I hate you."
Chinese man: "For what?"
Jewish man: "Pearl Harbor!"
Chinese man: "That was the Japanese! I'm Chinese!"
Jewish man: "eh, Japanese, Chinese what's the difference?"
Chinese man: "Well, you kow what? I hate you."
Jewish man: "For what?!?"
Chinese man: "The Titanic!"
Jewish man: "An iceberg sunk the Tatanic!"
Chinese man: "eh, Iceberg, Goldberg, what's the difference?"
Mexico and the TITANIC
Most people don't know that back in 1912, Hellmann's Mayonnaise was manufactured in England. In fact, the Titanic was carrying 12,000 jars of the condiment scheduled for delivery in Vera Cruz, Mexico, which was to be the next port of call for the great ship after its stop in New York. This would have been the largest single shipment of mayonnaise ever delivered to Mexico. But as we know, the great ship did not make it to New York. The ship hit an iceberg and sank, and the cargo was forever lost.
The people of Mexico, who were crazy about mayonnaise, and were eagerly awaiting its delivery, were disconsolate at the loss. Their anguish was so great, that they declared a National Day of Mourning, which they still observe to this day. The National Day of Mourning occurs each year on May 5th and is known, of course, as Sinko de Mayo.
Clinton on the Titanic
Reagan, Nixon and Clinton are on the Titanic.
The ship hits the iceberg and sinks slowly.
Everybody starts screaming, panicking, etc.
Reagan shouts: "Women and children first."
Nixon goes: "Screw the women!"
Clinton replies: "Do you think we have time!?"
Two pilots
A plane leaves Heathrow Airport under the control of a Jewish captain. His copilot is Chinese. It's the first time they've flown together and an awkward silence between the two seems to indicate a mutual dislike.
Once they reach cruising altitude, the Jewish captain activates the auto-pilot, leans back in his seat, and mutters, "I don't like Chinese."
"No rike Chinese?" asks the copilot, "why not?"
"You people bombed Pearl Harbor , that's why!"
"No, no", the co-pilot protests, "Chinese not bomb Peahl Hahbah" That Japanese, not Chinese."
"Japanese, Chinese, Vietnamese...doesn't matter, you're all alike."
There's a few minutes of silence....
"I no rike Jews." the copilot suddenly announces.
"Oh yeah, why not?" Asks the captain.
"Jews sink Titanic." says the co-pilot.
"What? That's insane! Jews didn't sink the Titanic!" exclaims the captain "It was an iceberg."
"Iceberg, Goldberg, Greenberg, Rosenberg , Gilberg, nomattah...all same."
A Korean and a Jew
Jew: Hey... weren't you people responsible for Pearl Harbor?
Korean: Uh... that was the Japanese. I'm Korean.
Jew: Pffft, Japanese, Chinese, Korean. What's the difference?
Korean: Well wait, weren't you people responsible for sinking the Titanic?
Jew: Uh... that was an iceberg.
Korean: Pffft, Rosenberg, Goldberg, iceberg... What's the difference?
What's the Difference?
A Jewish man walks into a bar and sits down. He has a few drinks, then he sees a Chinese man and punches him in the face.
"Owch!" the Chinese man says. "What was that for?"
"That was for Pearl Harbor," the Jewish man says.
"But I'm Chinese!" "Chinese, Japanese, what's the difference?" And the Jewish man sits back down.
Then, the Chinese man walks up to the Jewish man and punches him in the face.
"Ouch!" the Jewish man says. "What was that for?"
"That was for the Titanic," the Chinese man says.
"But that was an iceberg!"
"Ice berg, Goldberg, what's the difference?"
A Chinese man and a Jew are talking
The Jew says "I still haven't forgiven your people for attacking Pearl Harbor."
To which the Chinese man replies, "That was the Japanese! I'm Chinese you idiot!"
The Jew says "Chinese, Japanese, what's the difference?"
Then the Chinese man says "You know, I haven't forgiven your people for sinking that Titanic."
Shocked, the Jew replies "That was an iceberg you idiot!"
To which the Chinese man says "Iceberg, Goldberg, what's the difference?"
---
I didn't write this joke but it's always funny when I see it. Thought I'd share.
What did the titanic say when it saw a s**... iceberg?
I'd hit it
You know what they said about Titanic?
It was an Iceberg job.
A Jewish guy and a Chinese guy are sitting on a bus
The Jewish guy turns to the Chinese guy and says "man I really hate Chinese people." The Chinese guy goes "why?" And the Jewish guy goes "because you guys bombed Pearl Harbor!" The Chinese guy says "that wasn't us that was the Japanese!" The Jewish guy replies "Japanese, Chinese, Vietnamese you're all the same!"
So the Chinese guy thinks about this and then says "well you know what? I really hate Jewish people!" And the Jewish guy goes "why?" And the Chinese guy goes "because you guys sunk the titanic!" The Jewish guy says "that wasn't us! That was an iceberg!" The Chinese guy replies "iceberg, Weinberg, Steinberg you're all the same!"
A Jewish guy walks into a bar. The Chinese bartender asks him his name...
"I'm Max Goldberg", he says, "what's yours?"
"I'm Wei Zhang, it's nice to meet you."
Mr. Goldberg says, "I'll never forgive you people for b**... Pearl Harbor."
"I'm Chinese. That was the Japanese."
"Chinese, Japanese, all the same to me."
Mr. Zhang says, "I'll never forgive you people for sinking the Titanic."
"I'm Jewish, that was an iceberg."
"Goldberg, iceberg, all the same to me."
What did the icebergs say to the chef onboard the Titanic?
Lettuce in
Says the Titanic to the Iceberg...
so I was sinking...
It was a Jew who was responsible for the Titanic disaster,
some guy named Iceberg.
A jew and a Chinese man are in an argument...
The jew says, "I hate your people for what you did at pearl harbour". The Chinese man says, what do you mean? That was the Japanese!". The jew replies, "Chinese, Japanese, Taiwanese, you're all the same. So the Chinese man says, "Well I hate your people for sinking the titanic". The jew says, "That's ridiculous; an iceberg sunk the titanic!". The Chinese man responds, "Iceberg, Goldberg, Silverberg, you're all the same".
Karma
A Chinese man and his Jewish friend were walking along one day when the Jewish man whirled and slugged the Chinese man and knocked him down.
"What was that for?" the Chinese man asked.
"That was for Pearl Harbor!" the Jewish man said.
"Pearl Harbor? That was the Japanese. I'm Chinese."
"Chinese, Japanese, you are all the same!"
"Oh!"
They continued walking and after a while the Chinese man whirled and knocked the Jewish man to the ground.
"What was that for?" the Jewish man asked.
"That was for the Titanic!"
"The Titanic? That was an iceberg."
"Iceberg, Goldberg, you are all the same."
Right before colliding with an iceberg...
The captain of the Titanic got ready to make an announcement:
"Good evening ladies and gentlemen. Fun fact, this ship weighs about 52 thousand kilograms. I'm gonna let that sink in..."
A Jewish man and a Chinese man strike up a conversation
Before long they're arguing.
Jewish man: "You know what? I hate you."
Chinese man: "Why?"
Jewish man: "Pearl Harbor!"
Chinese man: "That was the Japanese! I'm Chinese!"
Jewish man: "Japanese, Chinese what's the difference?"
Chinese man: "Well, you know what? I hate you."
Jewish man: "Why?"
Chinese man: "The Titanic!"
Jewish man: "An iceberg sunk the Titanic!"
Chinese man: "Iceberg, Goldberg, what's the difference?"
Which kind of lettuce they used in salads on Titanic?
Iceberg lettuce.
A Republican and a scientist were together during the last moments of the Titanic...
The scientist said "In a hundred years that giant iceberg would melt and contribute in the rising of the sea level."
Then the Republican said "If we're sinking, why are we a hundred feet up in the air?"
I hate to sound like a conspiracy theorist here, but are we truly to believe that the Titanic sunk after being hit by an iceberg?! Do they think we're s**... fools!?
I've been throwing lettuce at the window for hours now and it hasn't even scratched, let alone put a hole in it.
A Chinese man and a Jewish man were walking along one day
A Chinese man and his Jewish friend were walking along one day when the Jewish man whirled and slugged the Chinese man and knocked him down.
"What was that for?" the Chinese man asked.
"That was for Pearl Harbor!" the Jewish man said.
"Pearl Harbor? That was the Japanese. I'm Chinese."
"Chinese, Japanese, you are all the same!"
"Oh!"
They continued walking and after a while the Chinese man whirled and knocked the Jewish man to the ground.
"What was that for?" the Jewish man asked.
"That was for the Titanic!"
"The Titanic? That was an iceberg."
"Iceberg, Goldberg, you are all the same."
A Jewish and a Chinese Guy.
Once two dudes, a Jewish and a Chinese were talking.
J: You evil Japanese started World War 2 by b**... Pearl Harbour.
C: I'm Chinese, not Japanese.
J: But you all look the same.
C: Well you sunk the Titanic.
J: That was an iceberg.
C: Iceberg, Goldberg, Bloomberg, its all the same to me.
An English man, American, Chinese man, and a Jewish man are on a plane...
Out of nowhere the American punches the Chinese man. the British man asks, "what was that for?"
"Pearl Harbour!" exclaims the American. "That was the Japanese?" says the British man.
"Chinese, Japanese, They're all the same!"
Suddenly the British man punches the Jewish man. The American asks, "what was that for?"
"Titanic!" exclaims the British man. "That was an Iceberg?" says the American.
"Icebergs, Goldbergs, They're all the same!"
[Dark] What is the difference between Australia and the Titanic?
Australia doesn't need the help of an iceberg to be down under
The Titanic II is set to make its maiden voyage in 2022
At least they won't have to worry about icebergs, do to global warming.
Now serving: the Titanic Wedge Salad!
It's made from iceberg lettuce.
Note: I did not make this up. This is actually on the menu at my former workplace (the dining room at my grandmother's retirement home).
[Titanic, 1912]
**Captain:** what kind of lettuce do you want on your sandwich?
**First mate:** ICEBERG!
**Captain:** lol... no need to shout, Dave.
Chinese guy and a Jewish guy sitting at a bar.
Suddenly Jewish guy whacks Chinese guy on the head. What was that for? says the Chinese guy. Pearl Harbor says the Jewish guy. Pearl Harbor? That was the Japanese. Jewish guy says Japanese Chinese what's the difference?
Time goes by. Suddenly the Chinese guy whacks the Jewish guy on the head. What's that for? Sinking of the Titanic. Titanic was sunk by an iceberg. Iceberg Goldberg what's the difference?
What did the Titanic say about the s**... iceberg?
I'd hit that
Priest, Doctor and Lawyer died
A priest, doctor and lawyer died. They met Saint Peter at the gate, who would only let them into heaven if they could answer one simple question.
Peter asked the priest, "what was the unsinkable ship that struck an iceberg?" The priest replied, "The Titanic". And the gates opened up.
Peter asked the doctor, "how many people died on the Titanic?" Doctor replied, "1,503". And the gates opened up.
"Name them" said Saint Peter to the lawyer.
A Jewish man and a Chinese man are in a bar. Suddenly, the Jewish man punches the Chinese man in the face.
"Ow! Why did you do that?" asks he Chinese man.
"That's for Pearl Harbor," says the Jewish man.
"But the Japanese bombed Pearl Harbor. I'm Chinese!" says the Chinese man.
"Chinese, Japanese, what's the difference?" asks the Jewish man.
So the Chinese man punches the Jewish man.
"Ow! What's that for?" asks the Jewish man.
"It's for the Titanic," says the Chinese man.
"What? That was an iceberg that brought down the Titanic!" says the Jewish man.
"Iceberg, Goldberg, what's the difference?"
My Grandad knew that The Titanic was going to sink.
He told every man, woman and child that the ship was going to sink.
They hushed him up.
He shouted "The ship is going to hit an iceberg and sink"
Stiĺl they tried to silence him.
He shouted even louder, "THE TITANIC IS GOING TO HIT A ICEBERG AND SINK!"
That was it! He'd been warned, so they threw him out of the cinema.
A Chinese man and a Jewish man are sitting next to each other on a plane.
Suddenly, the Jewish man slaps the Chinese man across the face.
"What was that for?" asks the Chinese man..
"For Pearl Harbor" says the Jewish man.
"That was Japanese. I'm Chinese," the Chinese man says.
"Chinese, Japanese" what's the difference?
Few minutes later, the Chinese man slaps the Jewish man.
"What was that for?" asks the Jew.
"It's for the Titanic."
"The Titanic? That was an iceberg..."
"Iceberg, Goldberg, what's the difference?" says the Chinese man.